It’s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!
And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all!
So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks – between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma –have been a bit challenging, to say the least.
(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately – know that you are in Michelle’s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.)
Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.
There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions.
I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.
Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.
And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:
What do I do? Have I done enough?
How long will this last?
Will we be okay?
What’s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don’t only come up around nature’s storms.
You feel them during life’s storms, too.
When you’re going through a breakup…
When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…
When you see your relationship is falling apart…
Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core.
So, what can you do during life’s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?
1. Stay present. I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety. Why? Because fear is always a “future experience.” While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future.
What’s more, fear is never “real.” It is only ever an imagined thought.
Now, hear me out on this. Am I saying that what you fear will never happen?
What I am saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and/or are anxious about isn’t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment. Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future.
The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.
So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening.
This practice is life-changing.
Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness – and love – from making its way to you.
This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us.
Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less!
As I said: Life-Changing!
2. Focus on what you CAN control.During the storm, there were many things I could not control – the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on.
There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.
Similarly, during life’s storms, there are things you can’t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.
However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.
When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered. You are not at the mercy of the storm. Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.
3. Ask for and receive help.This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women. You’re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you’re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own. You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.
However, quite the opposite is true!
It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help. It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.
I can’t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out. What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!
I heard responses like, “I’m used to toughing things out,” “I’m okay with sacrificing,” “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure something out” – even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!
And so many powerful women do the same thing during life’s storms!
You don’t reach out for help or support so that you won’t seem weak.
You believe that struggling and “suffering” through the heartache is somehow “noble” or makes you stronger.
You deny help and support because you feel as if you “should be able to figure this ‘relationship thing’ out on my own.”
And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist – many times for much longer than is necessary – when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what youreally want.
There’s no honor or glory in unnecessary martyrdom or sacrificing.
Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.
Life’s storms will come. You don’t have much choice in that… That part’s not “optional.”
What you can choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.
What is optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.
I know what my choice is!
Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!
Have you ever really wanted to break a habit or pattern you see happening over and over again in your life, but, no matter how hard you try to stop doing it on your own, no matter how many books you read, videos you watch or teleclasses you attend, you still find yourself doing the same things you promised yourself you would not do?
The same thing was true for one of my clients when it came to dating and relationships. I’ll call her Sophia, to protect her privacy.
Sophia didn’t necessarily have trouble attracting men. She would get asked out on dates and, sometimes, on multiple dates by the same guy.
The problem was that it seemed like the men she was attracting weren’t really interested in having committed relationships. They wanted to go out, have fun, and be sexually intimate, but they were not looking to have a committed relationship with her.
While it felt good to be asked out by men, this pattern of attracting men who did not want to have a long-lasting relationship with her made Sophia feel confused, frustrated, and used – especially if the man had said up front that he was looking for someone to be in a relationship, and even more so if she had been sexually intimate with him.
What Sophia discovered while we worked together was that the reason she was continuously finding herself in the same situation was not necessarily because every single man she was dating was not interested in a having a committed relationship.
It was becauseshe had a hidden belief that, if she slept with a man who was showing interest in her, that having that physical connection would somehow ensure that he would want to have more of an emotional connection with her.
What would happen, however, is that she would feel overly attached to the man, begin acting as if they were in a relationship, and subconsciously begin demanding more time, attention, and affection from the man.
What was even more surprising to her was that she also had a hidden belief that the man would eventually disappoint and leave her.
So, subconsciously, she was attracting men who would confirm for her the hidden belief that she would not find a man who would love and accept her without her having to sleep with him, and that, even when she did, he would still leave her.
Now, it’s important to understand that Sophia did not want to continue repeating the same patterns.
In fact, if you asked her, she would tell you the exact opposite of that.
However, because these beliefs were in her subconscious, they were hidden from her – in her blind spot – and she was continuing to attract the same kind of man, take the same actions, and experience the same heartache time and time again.
As we worked together, Sophia began to uncover more of the Love Barriers that were blocking her from attracting and receiving the kind of love she really wanted. As we did the HeartWork to remove those barriers, she began experiencing more success in dating – having more fun, attracting really great men who were interested in possibly having a relationship with her, and finally meeting a wonderful man with whom she is living out the love and life of her dreams.
If you’re like Sophia, and you are tired of trying to stop repeating the same patterns, or, worse, you’ve pretty much given up on finding the kind of love you want, then I want to encourage you and let you know that you, too, can have the kind of loving relationship you want with a man who is going to truly and deeply love you for the rest of his life!
But here’s the deal: You have to be willing to take the steps to uncover the hidden barriers that are in your blind spot, blocking you from attracting and having the relationship of your dreams. Otherwise, the self-sabotage will continue.
Trust me, if you knew what they were and how to stop allowing them to keep you repeating the same painful patterns, you would have already done it.
Sometimes it takes working with someone who can lovingly guide you to see what you haven’t been able to see on your own. Then, once the barriers have been uncovered, we can get to the work of breaking and replacing them with new thought and behavior patterns that will allow you to easily and effortlessly attract the love you desire into your life!
If you’re ready to stop “trying” and you want to really get past this once and for all, I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar next week, and I’d be happy to help you have your love breakthrough!
There’s a real problem affecting women – especially smart, successful women like you – and it pushes good men away.
See, there’s something that many powerful women don’t realize that they are doing to self-sabotage their relationships. And the energy being given off by doing this is like “relationship kryptonite”!
What is it?
It’s leaking masculine energy in the form of control!
Now, before you bounce off the page or get triggered, let me explain, because, if you’re not in a happy, intimate relationship right now, and you knew you could learn what you can stop doing to sabotage your love life and happiness, isn’t that worth just a few minutes of your time?
Here’s the deal.
More than anything, a good man – the kind of man who is interested in loving, supporting, and spending his life with an amazing woman like you – wants one thing more than anything else. (And, no, it’s not sex!)
See, one of a good man’s greatest superpowers is his need to make the woman that he cares about happy. Honestly, it’s like a drug he can’t get enough of when he sees that you are smiling and he knows that hehad something to do with the smile on your face!
Now, perhaps you don’t believe me, especially if this hasn’t been your experience with men – or the man you’re with.
However, consider that there may be somethings you’re doing to either attract the kind of man who isn’t interested in making you happy, or you may subconsciously and unintentionally saying and doing things that stop him from being able to make you happy.
It’s true. Many of the things you are doing to kill a man’s desire to make you happy are happening subconsciously.
This means you’re not even aware of what you’re doing to self-sabotage your relationships!
And that’s why, unless you learn exactly what is pushing away a man’s desire to be with and please you, it’s virtually impossible for you to stop doing it so that you can turn things around in your love life and have the kind of relationship you really want!
Thesubconscious ways women sabotagetheir romantic relationships and what to do instead
Thekey steps you can take to remain in your powerand still get the love you want
Theeffortless ways you can draw a man, his attention and affection to youso that you can feel deeply connected to him
As a smart, successful woman, you know that getting what you want means, not only knowing exactly what to do, but how to get it in the easiest, most effective way! And that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you on this online class, so make sure you grab your spot now!
You can’t change something you can’t see. If you’re not in the happy, loving relationship you truly want, and you want to learn the fastest, most effortless way to have that, make sure you join us for this online class!
Is there a man in your life that you’ve been afraid to let go of – either because you won’t break up or leave him, or because you’re still holding onto the memory of him?
Do you know that the very act of not letting go is what is stopping you from welcoming the right man – the one who is ready to love you NOW – from coming into your life?
Don’t believe me?
Just ask my client, Osmara!
If you follow us on Facebook, you saw the picture I posted earlier this week of the 3 new engagement rings 3 of my clients are sporting!
Yes! That’s right! In the past 2 months, 3 beautiful women who once thought that they would never find the right man for them got engaged to the love of their lives! And we couldn’t be happier for them!
You see that beauty on the left? That one belongs to Osmara!
Osmara and I have been friends for a while and I’ve seen her go through both happy and painful times in her love life. After knowing each other for a few years, she began working with me as a client, and I was able to help her through a very difficult relationship and break up.
Well, rather than me telling you her story, here’s the comment she left in the FB post about her journey to love:
We first started working together when I was single in 2012 and ready to find love. Soon after, I manifested a man who would be my boyfriend for a year and a half. In this relationship (and the subsequent ending) I would be broken open and impelled to connect with myself on the deepest of levels.
When we broke up I was still holding on because I thought he was “the one” and I was scared he was “as good as it got.”
Talk about Lack Mentality!
You held my hand during very dark, scary times… And I will never forget that.
I could write a whole blog post on this story and maybe one day I will…
I was so infatuated with this relationship that I didn’t even realize, I actually met my fiance and future husband (I love saying that!) when I was with my ex! He was at a seminar we attended and I would have never guessed he’d be my true ONE then.
So I picked up the pieces of my shattered illusions and licked my wounds and came to love me and stand strong as just me. Single, in my solitude, I learned to come home to myself.
Then last September, Ash, my fiance, unexpectedly came into my life. Our first conversation was only
meant to be 45 min and it went on for over 4 hours. That was the first of many conversations that went on for hours and hours.
I’ve never felt more at home than w him. It’s not an effort or work, it flows. That’s not to say we don’t have to work on our s**t or that we don’t bump heads because, oh, boy, yes we do!
But the work I did with you, Gladys, helped prep me to be able to accept this love that is everything I’ve been dreaming of. It helped me to see where I was holding on to the old because of fear. And I’m so glad I let go, because right as I did, in a matter of days, mi amor (my love) came right into my reality.
Eternally grateful, humbled, and inspired. xx
Isn’t that amazing?
The man of her dreams was standing right in front of her all along, but she couldn’t see him because she was too afraid to let go of a relationship that was causing her more pain and heartache than she ever needed to feel.
It was only when she had the courage to let go and love herself more than she loved him that she was able to come to the place where she was ready to love and be loved again!
Maybe you can relate to this story…
Maybe you are so afraid to let go of the man who is not right for you, isn’t committing to you, or is not loving you the way you want and deserve to be loved because you are so afraid of being alone.
Maybe you’re afraid that you won’t ever find someone you connect with or love as much as him.
Or maybe you’re afraid that there isn’t anyone out there who can love you the way you dream of being loved.
Whatever your reason for not letting go, you need to realize that, in holding onto him, those clenched hands aren’t able to open up and receive the love that’s already there for you!
I’m not saying it’s “easy” to do. But, with the right support and guidance, you can do the Heart Work release yourself from a painful relationship and open your heart to give and receive the love your heart most desires.
Remember: You can still love him and choose to love yourself enough to let him go.
Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids, and I took the opportunity to pamper myself and get a deep-tissue Swedish massage, courtesy of my wonderful hubby!
As I was lying on the table, enjoying the soft meditation music, the candles, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage, all of a sudden, all I could feel was PAIN! And lots of it!
I actually found myself holding my breath a few times because of the pain I could feel under the masseuse’s expert hands!
At one point, I thought I would tell her to stop, and then I noticed something…
I began to notice how my muscles were responding to her touch.
I became aware of how, while I wasn’t stressed out or feeling pain when I first laid down on the table, there were parts of my body that were obviously story pain and stress, based on the “knots” she was finding and deeply massaging.
And, I noticed how she would dig really deep into a muscle, work there for a while, go somewhere else, and then come back to it and work on it some more.
That’s when I thought of you! (Yes, even while getting a massage, you are on my mind! Can’t help it!)
I started thinking about how, sometimes, we have some “deep-tissue” pain stored in our memories, our hearts, and our bodies that are related to the past.
Maybe it has to do with a relationship that ended painfully.
Maybe you’re in a relationship right now, where you’re feeling some pain.
Or perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your life and you keep wondering, “I’ve prayed, meditated, read all these books, watched videos, attended courses, and worked with different coaches! When am I finally going to break through this?”
I get it! I’ve been there myself! And, here’s the deal:
Sometimes, you just need to go back and dig a little deeper to truly release the pain so that you can move forward with joy, peace, and the love you desire and deserve!
It’s during those times of release that you are able to put the past back in the past where it belongs so that you can move toward the present and future that are waiting for you!
Well, I was so inspired by all of the thoughts and insights I had during that massage, that, when I finished, I went to Facebook and shot a live video (Well, two, actually, because I lost connection during the first one, but I just had to share this with you!)
I know it can be tempting to feel like the “deep-tissue” inner work you’ve done isn’t working, but… what if…?
What if you’re just inches away from your next breakthrough?
What if you can dig a little deeper and finally have the happiness and love you want?
What would that make possible for you?
Check out the video and let me know what opens up for you!
Don’t forget to comment below! We love hearing from you!
This week, as I’ve been speaking to some of my clients, it’s been wonderful to hear how happy they are in their new relationships and how they’ve transformed their existing relationships.
Aside from feeling happy for them, the reason this fills my heart is because I remember where they were when we first started working together!
Some of them were so afraid they would never stop being single, others were in toxic relationships that were robbing them of their happiness, and others were in relationships that seemed to be slowly (or quickly) falling apart.
Their fear showed up as hopelessness. They were afraid to hope that things could get better, because… what if they didn’t?
Despite the fear they had that things might not change for them, these women did something that I have seen make one of the biggest differences in the love lives of women around the world!
In today’s video I share with you the simple steps to shifting from resignation to acceptance and how that one shift can be the first step to transforming the current – and, by the way, temporary– state of your love life!
See, creating a shift in your life does take work, but it doesn’t have to be complicated!
Do this quick exercise in the video, then let’s talk about how to create a REAL shift in your love life!
Don’t allow resignation and hopelessness to rob you of your heart’s desires! You CAN create a shift in your love life and begin experiencing the love you want! We’re here to guide you through it!
P.S. Our theme for February is :Falling In Love With YOU!
Another way to create a shift in your love life is to begin falling in love with YOU! There is still time to join The Self-Love Secret Challenge and start the best love affair of your life – The one you have with YOUrself!