Guest post by Katie Miranda
The other day, I received a beautiful gift from one of my clients, Katie. She is a talented artist and jewelry designer with a wonderful sense of humor, and, in her beautifully creative way, she drew an illustration to go along with her testimonial about how she went from being a 40-something, cat-loving, divorcee who had lost hope in finally finding her true love to a now blissfully happy bride-to-be!
I was so moved by the gift that I knew I had to share it! So, here it is — Katie’s testimonial on why she didn’t end up marrying her cat!
“Why Gladys is the Reason I Didn’t Marry My Cat”
Your married friends, your parents, your grandparents are all telling you to stop being so picky and settle down and get married.
God knows your parents didn’t face the dating challenges you are: the swiping, the ghosting, the cute guy/girl who turns out to not look at all like his/her picture, the “u r hot. what r u doing?” messages…
They tell you to “stop being so picky,” but what does that mean? Does it mean “settling”?
No, not at all! It means expanding your horizons and letting go of limiting beliefs.
Here’s an example of what that meant for me.
So, there I was in 2015, a 40-year old woman, and the ink was just drying on my divorce paperwork. “Doomed to a life of cat lady spinsterhood” was the expression I saw on other people’s faces when I told them my age and marital status.
But I wasn’t giving up.
After all, now that I was divorced, I finally knew what wanted and DIDN’T want, right?
I hired Gladys to help me, because she had what I wanted: a happy, stable, long term marriage. I knew I could learn from her.
Gladys told me to make a list of primary qualities I wanted in my future husband: My list included:
3) financially stable
4) leads a healthy lifestyle
5) no children living with him
Tall order, you say, for a 40-year old divorcé?
The thing is, these were non-negotiable for me.
1) I had to be attracted to him.
2) Since I am Muslim I wanted to meet someone who would fast Ramadan with me, go on the hajj pilgrimage with me and do our prayers together. It was a matter of sharing the same values and being on the same page and I couldn’t get that with a non-Muslim.
3) My ex-husband was dependent on me financially and this caused a lot of problems in the marriage. I knew I didn’t want to go through that again.
4) What this meant to me is that I couldn’t live with a couch potato or someone who smoke or drank. I’m active and healthy and I wanted someone who shared these values.
5) I did not want to live with someone else’s kids or to be put in a step-mother role Not that there is anything wrong with that. It just wasn’t for me.
These things, weren’t “checklist items” for me. They reflected the values and character traits that I wanted to attract in the man of my dreams – a man who was spiritual, trustworthy, responsible, and ambitious. I wanted to share my life with a man I could trust and who inspired me.
Oh! I also had a list of secondary qualities, one of which, in my head, was a primary quality:
6) He has to have been born or at least raised in the US.
You see, my ex-husband was not born and raised in the US and I believed that one of the primary reasons for our divorce was a clash of cultures. (In reality, that wasn’t it, it was that he didn’t fit with some of my primary values.) I was dead set on never considering anyone who hadn’t been in the US for at least their teenage years. And no Saudis. Definitely no Saudis. I have a girlfriend who was married to a Saudi and the horror stories she told… Wow! Can’t have any guy telling me I have to cover my hair or that I can’t drive a car, right?
By the time 2016 rolled around, I had met and chatted with quite a few men over various Muslim and non-Muslim apps and sites. No one was a good fit; I was wracking up quite a collection of my own horror stories.
And then on Twitter, of all places, a cute guy DM’d me after I posted a photo from a café in Portland I had been to that day. He said he had also been there that day, but we had not seen each other. We chatted a little and then he asked me out for coffee. I looked at his profile and it said he lived in Al Qatif and Portland. I didn’t know where Al Qatif was, but I took a guess it was in Saudi Arabia and, sure enough, it was.
Oh no, not a Saudi! Too bad, cuz he was cute!
And it seemed we had a lot of shared interests, judging by his Twitter timeline. That’s the thing with Twitter, you can actually get a pretty good idea of what the person is actually into. He was into hiking, and nature, Bernie Sanders, cats, and women’s rights, just like me!
Hmm, not exactly my stereotype of a Saudi… I wonder….
I cautiously agreed to go out to coffee and told Gladys I was concerned that he wasn’t born in the US and what would we truly have in common. I wanted to be able to sing the 80’s pop songs I grew up with in the car with my future husband. I thought this was a non-negotiable quality. In reality, it was an ego-based quality, not a values-based quality.
The funny thing is, one day we were in the car and he was singing something over and over.. “It’s a croo, croo, croo summer, leading me hero…” Eventually, I figured out that this was his interpretation of Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer,” a song he heard constantly growing up because there was an American radio station in Saudi Arabia.
“It’s a cruel, cruel summer Leaving me here on my own”
We had a good laugh about that.
He does know all the 80’s songs I grew up with! Hmmmm… I wonder…
Fast forward a year and a half, and we are planning our wedding! He is everything on my primary list and more. Oh, and he really loves my cat too!
If I had nixed him because he didn’t grow up in the US or because of my prejudices about Saudis, (I’d only ever met one Saudi before him, by the way!), I would have nixed the love of my life.
When I hear women saying, “Well, he has to be a Pakistani, like me” or “He must be my exact religious sect”, or “He has to make a certain amount of money per year”, or “He has to be at least 6 feet tall,” I wonder what kind of amazing guys they might be missing out on. What if the man of your dreams makes $5000/year less than your requirement, or he is 5’11”?
Are you willing to miss out on the love of your life based on some numbers?
These are ego-based desires, not values-based desires. Just like my desire to meet and marry a man who was raised in the US.
Gladys helped me figure out what my desires were that were values-based so that I didn’t get caught up in ego-based desires and decline that date with my future husband.
The month before I met my fiancé, I asked Gladys what the one quality her clients who met the man of their dreams all shared. She said it was the belief that they would meet him.
That really stuck with me and I committed to believing I would meet my future man, and I did!
Good luck to all the single ladies out there. I know how hard it can be.
If you truly believe you will find your match and you’e willing to let go of limiting beliefs about what that person has to be, you will.
And, if you need help, like I did, talk to Gladys!
If you’re tired of letting your fears and doubts stop you from experiencing the love that you truly desire, we invite you to schedule time to speak with Michelle or me so that we can help you break through your fears and break through to love!
by Gladys Diaz
This makes us sooooo angry!
Michelle and I are usually pretty level-headed and open-minded, but there are some things that set us OFF, especially when it comes to the LIES that are being told to women who are looking to attract and keep a great man.
We started talking about this yesterday, particularly to how it relates to some of the best-known reality TV shows, and, as we started talking about the lies and misinformation being “taught” to women by supposed “experts” and “gurus,” we got a little heated.
See, we know what works when it comes to helping successful, professional women find the kind of lasting love they want with a wonderful man. And it doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with ANY of the garbage that is being taught out there, especially when it comes to one show in particular.
Well, rather than go on another rant, I think I’ll just share the one Michelle and I recorded in a Facebook Live session.
Watch our rant below!
Warning: It’s a bit controversial. Not everyone may like it. And, frankly, we don’t care, because the work we do is way too important to let stuff like this go unaddressed!
P.S. Feel free to comment, whether you agree with us or not. We’re open to having a conversation with you about this. And make sure you SHARE it. We’ve got to get the word out!
by Gladys Diaz
I have a quick question for you:
Have you ever felt helpless?
It’s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!
And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all!
So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks – between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma –have been a bit challenging, to say the least.
(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately – know that you are in Michelle’s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.)
Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.
There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions.
I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.
Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.
And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:
What do I do?
Have I done enough?
How long will this last?
Will we be okay?
What’s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don’t only come up around nature’s storms.
You feel them during life’s storms, too.
When you’re going through a breakup…
When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…
When you see your relationship is falling apart…
Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core.
So, what can you do during life’s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?
1. Stay present. I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety. Why? Because fear is always a “future experience.” While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future.
What’s more, fear is never “real.” It is only ever an imagined thought.
Now, hear me out on this. Am I saying that what you fear will never happen?
What I am saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and/or are anxious about isn’t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment. Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future.
The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.
So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening.
This practice is life-changing.
Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness – and love – from making its way to you.
This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us.
Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less!
As I said: Life-Changing!
2. Focus on what you CAN control. During the storm, there were many things I could not control – the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on.
There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.
Similarly, during life’s storms, there are things you can’t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.
However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.
When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered. You are not at the mercy of the storm. Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.
3. Ask for and receive help. This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women. You’re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you’re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own. You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.
However, quite the opposite is true!
It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help. It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.
I can’t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out. What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!
I heard responses like, “I’m used to toughing things out,” “I’m okay with sacrificing,” “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure something out” – even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!
And so many powerful women do the same thing during life’s storms!
You don’t reach out for help or support so that you won’t seem weak.
You believe that struggling and “suffering” through the heartache is somehow “noble” or makes you stronger.
You deny help and support because you feel as if you “should be able to figure this ‘relationship thing’ out on my own.”
And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist – many times for much longer than is necessary – when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what you really want.
There’s no honor or glory in unnecessary martyrdom or sacrificing.
Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.
Life’s storms will come. You don’t have much choice in that… That part’s not “optional.”
What you can choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.
What is optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.
I know what my choice is!
Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!
by Gladys Diaz
Do you ever ask yourself, “Is there any hope for me? Will I ever really have the love and happiness I long for?”
If you have, you’re not alone.
I have been there. I have been in that dark and lonely place where I wondered whether I would ever truly be loved and whether the deep sadness that filled my heart would be filled with joy again.
It wasn’t until I looked inside my own heart to find why it was that I believed that I couldn’t and wouldn’t be loved and then took the steps to break through those disempowering thoughts that were causing the very loneliness and sadness I was feeling that I called in the love of my life!
Now, to see me today, you might never imagine that I had those kinds of thoughts. In fact, you might be under the impression that I’ve always been “lucky” and had a pretty easy life and healthy relationships.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t always true. There was a time in my life when I questioned whether I would ever truly love and be loved.
This is why I chose to share my story on Wednesday night’s teleclass: “The Self-Love Secrets Revealed.”
Truthfully, I hadn’t planned on going that deeply into my story, but I’m glad I did, because the feedback has been amazing!
Women created real shifts in their lives as a result of both the story and the exercise I led them through, so, while I also hadn’t planned on sending out the replay, given the feedback I’ve received, decided to go ahead and make the recording available to you.
Because most women keep wishing, hoping, and praying year after year for something to change in their lives, but they don’t take the steps they need to break through the heartache and create their heart’s desires.
And I know how empty and painful it can be when you desire to love and be loved, but you doubt whether you will experience that joy in your life. I also know the exact steps you can take to get to break through to the other side and have the love you want, because I took those same steps myself, so I KNOW they work!
If you are ready to finally have the love you want, carve out the time for yourself this weekend to listen to the replay.
So, grab a cup of something yummy, your notebook or journal, you colored pens, highlighters, and sticky notes, and give yourself the gift of this teleclass.
<<Click here to access the replay of “Self-Love Secrets Revealed” and have a love breakthrough!>>
Once you’ve listened, if you’re truly inspired and ready to learn what your next steps should be, take me up on the invitation I make at the end of the call. I only have a few left, so don’t hesitate if you know that this is YOUR TIME.
If you are ready and willing to listen and take the steps, I promise that I will make sure you have the guidance you need to have a real breakthrough in your love life!
Imagine for a moment what it will be like when you are finally in the arms of the man who loves, adores, and wants nothing more than to make you happy and see you smile. THAT’S what’s waiting for you on the other side. And that’s what Michelle and I are committed to helping you attract and create into your life. So make the time, listen to the recording, respond to the invitation, and let’s break through this together!
<<Click here to listen to the replay and transform your love life!>>
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever really wanted to break a habit or pattern you see happening over and over again in your life, but, no matter how hard you try to stop doing it on your own, no matter how many books you read, videos you watch or teleclasses you attend, you still find yourself doing the same things you promised yourself you would not do?
The same thing was true for one of my clients when it came to dating and relationships. I’ll call her Sophia, to protect her privacy.
Sophia didn’t necessarily have trouble attracting men. She would get asked out on dates and, sometimes, on multiple dates by the same guy.
The problem was that it seemed like the men she was attracting weren’t really interested in having committed relationships. They wanted to go out, have fun, and be sexually intimate, but they were not looking to have a committed relationship with her.
While it felt good to be asked out by men, this pattern of attracting men who did not want to have a long-lasting relationship with her made Sophia feel confused, frustrated, and used – especially if the man had said up front that he was looking for someone to be in a relationship, and even more so if she had been sexually intimate with him.
What Sophia discovered while we worked together was that the reason she was continuously finding herself in the same situation was not necessarily because every single man she was dating was not interested in a having a committed relationship.
It was because she had a hidden belief that, if she slept with a man who was showing interest in her, that having that physical connection would somehow ensure that he would want to have more of an emotional connection with her.
What would happen, however, is that she would feel overly attached to the man, begin acting as if they were in a relationship, and subconsciously begin demanding more time, attention, and affection from the man.
What was even more surprising to her was that she also had a hidden belief that the man would eventually disappoint and leave her.
So, subconsciously, she was attracting men who would confirm for her the hidden belief that she would not find a man who would love and accept her without her having to sleep with him, and that, even when she did, he would still leave her.
Now, it’s important to understand that Sophia did not want to continue repeating the same patterns.
In fact, if you asked her, she would tell you the exact opposite of that.
However, because these beliefs were in her subconscious, they were hidden from her – in her blind spot – and she was continuing to attract the same kind of man, take the same actions, and experience the same heartache time and time again.
As we worked together, Sophia began to uncover more of the Love Barriers that were blocking her from attracting and receiving the kind of love she really wanted. As we did the HeartWork to remove those barriers, she began experiencing more success in dating – having more fun, attracting really great men who were interested in possibly having a relationship with her, and finally meeting a wonderful man with whom she is living out the love and life of her dreams.
If you’re like Sophia, and you are tired of trying to stop repeating the same patterns, or, worse, you’ve pretty much given up on finding the kind of love you want, then I want to encourage you and let you know that you, too, can have the kind of loving relationship you want with a man who is going to truly and deeply love you for the rest of his life!
But here’s the deal: You have to be willing to take the steps to uncover the hidden barriers that are in your blind spot, blocking you from attracting and having the relationship of your dreams. Otherwise, the self-sabotage will continue.
Trust me, if you knew what they were and how to stop allowing them to keep you repeating the same painful patterns, you would have already done it.
Sometimes it takes working with someone who can lovingly guide you to see what you haven’t been able to see on your own. Then, once the barriers have been uncovered, we can get to the work of breaking and replacing them with new thought and behavior patterns that will allow you to easily and effortlessly attract the love you desire into your life!
If you’re ready to stop “trying” and you want to really get past this once and for all, I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar next week, and I’d be happy to help you have your love breakthrough!
Simply click here to schedule time for a Love Breakthrough Session, and we’ll do this together!
Remember: You deserve to finally be happy and in love with a man who deserves and desires you! Isn’t that worth doing what it takes to removing whatever’s in the way?
No matter what’s happened in the past, you can break the patterns that have kept you stuck in heartache. Let’s talk and breakthrough those patterns together!
Click here to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session.
by Gladys Diaz
Last week something happened to me that was really scary. I can honestly say that I hadn’t felt that scared in a long time.
I went back and forth about whether or not to share this publicly, but I think it’s important to be real and not give the impression that I’m invincible or that I don’t every have my share of “curve balls” thrown at me.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I started noticing a tingling sensation in my left arm, primarily from my elbow to my wrist, and, sometimes my fingertips. I spend a lot of time on my computer, and I’ve had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome a few times, so, when I looked up the symptoms and saw that Carpal Tunnel was a common cause of tingling in the arm, I assumed it was that.
I began to notice that I also felt tingling in my left leg, and then my right leg, in the outer shin area, and didn’t know what to make of that. However, it would come and go, so, while I was a bit concerned, I didn’t make a big deal about it.
Last Tuesday, however, I felt tingling and numbness on my face, neck, down my left arm and leg. After a few hours, I began to get concerned, so I went to Urgent Care. They recommended I go to the ER, and they proceeded to do various tests, scans, and MRIs, and recommended I stay overnight.
As I was laying down for them to conduct the CAT Scan, I began to worry.
What if this is something serious?
Why do they keep talking about “a stroke”?
Will I be able to take care of my children?
How will this impact my marriage?
What about my clients?
These thoughts were running through my head all at once, and I really had to do the work that we teach our clients to separate facts from fears, because the truth is that our mind will usually envision and play out the worst possible scenarios, and my mind, left to its own devices, is no exception!
So, I was being intentional, moment by moment, to not allow my fears to take over or take me down the slippery mental slope of imagining the very worst.
As I was going through all of this, I got really present to the fact that I truly want to LIVE!
I don’t just want to exist or survive.
I want to LIVE.
I want to LOVE.
I want to GIVE myself fully to my family and to this world and do the work that I know I was born to do as a woman, wife, mother, and coach.
And, naturally, I started thinking about you.
I literally said to God,
“Lord, there is still so much I feel I need to do.
What about all of the women who still haven’t met the love of their lives?
What about the women who are feeling sad and lonely in their relationships?
Please, allow me the opportunity to do the work You’ve called me to do.”
And, once I prayed that prayer, there was a peace that came over me. I can’t explain it. In that moment, I just KNEW with every fiber of my being that everything was going to be okay.
I still don’t know what caused the episode or why I still have some tingling in my arms and legs. However, I am working with a doctor to find out exactly what is going on and what to do to turn it around.
Why? Because I don’t want to pretend to the know the answers when I don’t, and I’m also not going to wait and see if things “fix” themselves on their own. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to heal anything that is out of alignment in my body so that I can continue living, loving, carrying out my mission, and making my dreams and other women’s dreams come true!
What about you?
I don’t know what curve balls life has thrown at you.
I don’t know what heartache or pain or fear you are experiencing right now.
But here is what I do know:
If you have a dream in your heart of living in a happy, loving, intimate relationship where you are loved and desired by a man who wants nothing more than to help make your dreams come true and you are not in that relationship yet, then part of my life’s mission is helping you create that relationship.
I know it can be scary when you’re not sure why things are going the way they are going and you don’t have all the answers you need to begin turning your love life around.
My invitation is that you not allow those fears to paralyze and take you out of the game. Don’t allow them to make you wonder if your dream is possible. IT IS!
And, if you don’t have the answers, then it’s time to begin working with someone who does – someone who can help you see what’s been getting in the way of attracting and having the love you want and who can help give you the exact steps you can take to begin transforming yourself and your love life so that you can finally experience the loving relationship your heart desires.
You deserve all the happiness and love your heart longs for. You truly do.
And if I can help you create it, then write to me or leave me a comment and let me know how I can serve and support you, because you, your dreams, and your happiness matter to me!