Love Life Not Working? It’s Not Your “Fault”!

Love Life Not Working? It’s Not Your “Fault”!

 by Gladys Diaz

 

Have you ever asked yourself:

Why don’t I have the relationship that I want?

 

You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.

You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.

You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.

 

We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.

And so have many of our clients. 

 

As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.

You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.

Things are different when it comes to love, however. 

 

First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.

Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.

You could also settle for less than what you really want.  However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.

Or you could give up on having the relationship you want.  So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving.  Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!

 

So, what is the alternative? 

Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!

And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!

 

See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.

The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it!  Not on your own.

This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.

It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.

Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.

 

The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.

Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!

What you need to do is figure out:

  1. what is causing the same patterns to show up;
  2. how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
  3. how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!

 

If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.

 

Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!

All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.

One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.

Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!

Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it.  However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.

So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

Is Your Past Impacting Your Love Life?

Is Your Past Impacting Your Love Life?

by Gladys Diaz

I had a deep wave of emotion hit me yesterday that I couldn’t explain… until later…

As you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and, as I sat there having a delicious Chinese meal with my mom, husband and children, I had a wave of emotion flood over me, and I couldn’t explain why until I thought about it later that night.

See, we weren’t wealthy growing up.  As a matter of fact, there were times when we really struggled, and I remember overhearing arguments about money, how there wasn’t any, and what my parents were going to do to make ends meet, pay the rent and put food on the table.

Fights were not uncommon growing up, and I remember many nights praying in my bed at night, quiet tears streaming out the side of my eyes and onto my pillow, silently begging God to please make things better, to have my parents get along, and to please make the yelling stop.  I just wanted to feel safe!

When things weren’t so bad, we could splurge a little.  That often meant ordering Chinese food for dinner, and it was such a treat!

I remember the smell of the special fried rice filling our dining room, the taste of the salty soy sauce I would always put too much of on my rice, and the feeling that we were going to be okay as we ate and smiled at one another across the dinner table, silently hoping that moment would never end — not just the delicious food, but the peace — the fact that, for this moment, there was no fighting, only joy.

Fast forward 40-something years, and here I was, sitting at a table with my mom, husband, and my two boys. We were laughing and enjoying some tasty special fried rice, and an unexpected  wave of emotion created a ball in my throat and tears in my eyes that caught me by surprise.

Why am I crying?  Everything is okay… more than okay…

It wasn’t until later that night, on the drive home, that it hit me why I felt so emotional.

See, I made a decision 30 years ago that I was going to have a different life than the one I grew up seeing.  I would live a life of love and peace.  If I chose to marry and have children, they would never know what it was like to cry themselves to sleep over problems that weren’t theirs to solve or praying for the fighting to stop. 

Moving forward, the history of of broken homes and hearts would come to an end, and I would write a new story — one where my past and the past of my ancestors would not determine my future or the future of my children and their children.

I did a lot of spiritual and personal development work to heal, transform, and recreate myself over the years.  And, now, as I ate at this table, I was seeing the evidence of that promise I made to myself having been kept. And it was beautiful!

My kids don’t have to cover their ears to not hear yelling.

They don’t have to worry if they are safe and if they’re going to be okay. 

They get to live in a house where love and peace are present every day and their needs — physical and emotional — are abundantly met. 

They know their parents love one another and them.

My kids are safe and they feel safe.

There is no greater gift I could give them or receive for Mother’s Day. This is the life I always dreamed of for myself and them!

 I don’t know if you experienced fighting, violence, addiction or any other kind of traumatic experiences growing up.  I don’t know if you are seeing history being repeated in your home, or if the life you are living is not the one you set out to create for yourself.

What I do know is that one of the BEST gifts we can give ourselves and our families is that of breaking the chains of the past; leaving the past behind, where it belongs; and creating a life worth living! One overflowing with peace, and happiness, and love!

If you are not living the story you want for yourself and your children (whether you have them now or you hope to have them in the future), then I’m inviting you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session. 

CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session.

On this call, we will take a look at what your ultimate goals are when it comes to love and relationships, what some of the barriers to having that kind of love are, and I will give you some concrete steps you can begin to follow now so that you can create the loving relationship you want.

You can’t rewrite history, but you CAN create a new future for yourself that is completely free from the past or anything else that may be stopping you from experiencing the love, happiness, and fulfillment you want.

No matter what happened in your past, if you aren’t living in the happy, loving relationship of your dreams, something is in the way!  Let’s find out what it is and remove it so that you can finally have and live in the relationship you have always wanted!

CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session and rewrite your love story!

What “Dying” and “Letting Go” Have to Do with Love

What “Dying” and “Letting Go” Have to Do with Love

by Gladys Diaz

Today, for those of us who are Christians, is Good Friday.

As a young girl, I always wondered why it was called “Good” Friday, when it marked such a sad day.  I honestly could not see how remembering a brutal death of someone we loved and followed was supposed to be something “good.”

It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that, without the death of Jesus, there would not and could not have been a resurrection.

Resurrection can only come after death.

Much like healing can only come after injury or illness…

… rebuilding can only come after destruction…

… renewed hope can only come after a period of doubt or hopelessness.

And, many times, true love comes after heartache.

I know that was the truth for me, for Michelle, and for so many of the women who we have helped around the world to find the love they desire and deserve.

It’s also what’s true if you want to create a true breakthrough and transformation in your love life.

See, there is a letting go — a “dying,” of sorts — that has to happen if you are going to truly open your heart to a new and extraordinary kind of love.

You have to be willing to let go of the past, of your fears and your heartache.  

You need to let go of your limiting beliefs and doubts, your judgments and expectations in order to create something completely new and different from what you have had and experienced in the past.

So, here’s my question to you:

What are you willing to let go of, once and for all, so that you can begin to welcome in the love that is waiting for you on the other side of your past?

What fear, doubt, belief or pattern are you ready to release so that new and extraordinary love can find its way to you?

What resentment, regret, or disempowering story are you finally willing to let go of so that you can create a new story — one that has you living the life and love your heart desires?

I know that letting go can feel scary, but it’s not quite so frightening when you don’t have to figure out how to do it on your own.  Remember, we’re here for you!

Remember: The past has no power over you, except for the power you grant it in the present.  Sometimes, letting go of just one fear or limiting belief can open the floodgates to letting new love in!
So let us know, what is one thing you are committed of letting go of so that you can have the love and happiness you desire and deserve?
Love Hack: How to Get More Time and Attention From Your Man!

Love Hack: How to Get More Time and Attention From Your Man!

by Gladys Diaz

Quick question:

Do you find yourself thinking about how your man isn’t giving you the time and attention you want – whether it’s someone you’re dating, your boyfriend, or your husband?

Even worse… Do you allow those thoughts to pop out of your mouth in the form of statements like:

“We never spend any quality time together?”

“You have time for everyone and everything else, except me!”

“Why don’t you want to spend time with me anymore?”

 

While it may seem as if you are simply “being honest” or “sharing your feelings,” the truth is that there are a few words that describe those kinds of statements: nagging, complaining, and criticizing.

 

Now, before you scroll down to write a comment to tell me off or give me all the reasons why this IS how you feel, hear me out.

I get that you want to spend more time with him. Chances are that, when you see him spending less time with you, it triggers some fears and doubts in you about how he really feels about you.  In fact, you may even have asked him how he feels about you (something I’ll cover in another post!). 

I really do hear you. 

However, consider that those statements, while they may be said with underlying valid feelings and desires, they don’t communicate the real feelings and thoughts underneath the complaints.  Instead, they communicate:

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m needy.”

“It’s your responsibility to make me happy.”

 

So, how can you say what you feel WITHOUT nagging, complaining, or pushing your guy away?

Say some simple and clear messages such as:

“I miss you.”

“I feel lonely.”

“I love spending time with you.”

 

I know… Those are pretty vulnerable statements and it’s scary to be vulnerable, especially if you’re questioning how he feels about you.

However, if you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and breathe deep into your heart for just a minute, you’ll see the truth in them: This is how you really feel.

What’s even better, if you share your feelings with him this way, he’ll actually be able to hear you!

And that’s what you really want, right?

 

See, the truth is that there isn’t a man on this planet who has EVER been inspired by nagging, criticism, or complaining. 

These statements are simply not inspiring or motivating. In fact, you’ve probably noticed that they have the opposite effect, making him pull further away from you, and they don’t really do much to change the situations… Which has you bring it up again, and again, and again, with NO different results.

If this has been your experience, we’d like to invite you to try something different!

The next time you’re feeling as if your guy isn’t spending enough time with you, and you’re tempted to complain about it, I invite you to say something like:

“I miss you.”

“I’d love to spend time together.”

“I can’t wait to have some time alone.” 

These statements are A LOT more inspiring, they let him know how you are feeling, and they will allow him to hear you

Oh! And don’t be surprised if he begins spending more time with you!

 

If you’re feeling like you’re not getting the time and attention you want from your man and you’d like support and guidance on how to turn things around, we’ve opened up some time in our calendars for you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session with one of us.

On this call, we’ll help you see what is getting in the way of you having the kind of experience you want to have in dating or your relationship, and we’ll create a step-by-step plan for you to follow so that you being to experience the love and happiness your heart desires!

CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session!

Love, dating, and relationships do NOT have to be hard.  They are easy when you know exactly what to do and say to get the results you want without having to force, nag, or “get him” to do what you want!  Let us help you!

Schedule a Love Breakthrough Session and get the love you want!

 

 

She’s a Liar… And She’s Fooling You!

She’s a Liar… And She’s Fooling You!

by Gladys Diaz

This makes us sooooo angry!

Michelle and I are usually pretty level-headed and open-minded, but there are some things that set us OFF, especially when it comes to the LIES that are being told to women who are looking to attract and keep a great man.

We started talking about this yesterday, particularly to how it relates to some of the best-known reality TV shows, and, as we started talking about the lies and misinformation being “taught” to women by supposed “experts” and “gurus,” we got a little heated.

See, we know what works when it comes to helping successful, professional women find the kind of lasting love they want with a wonderful man.  And it doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with ANY of the garbage that is being taught out there, especially when it comes to one show in particular.

Well, rather than go on another rant, I think I’ll just share the one Michelle and I recorded in a Facebook Live session.

Watch our rant below!

Warning: It’s a bit controversial.  Not everyone may like it. And, frankly, we don’t care, because the work we do is way too important to let stuff like this go unaddressed! 

P.S. Feel free to comment, whether you agree with us or not.  We’re open to having a conversation with you about this.  And make sure you SHARE it.  We’ve got to get the word out!

 

 

How to Step Out of Fear and Into Your Power!

How to Step Out of Fear and Into Your Power!

by Gladys Diaz

I have a quick question for you:

Have you ever felt helpless?

It’s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!

And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all!

So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks – between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma –have been a bit challenging, to say the least.

(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately – know that you are in Michelle’s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.)

Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.

 

There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions.

I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.

Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.

And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:

What do I do?
Have I done enough?

How long will this last?
Will we be okay?

 

What’s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don’t only come up around nature’s storms.

You feel them during life’s storms, too.

When you’re going through a breakup…

When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…

When you see your relationship is falling apart…

Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core.

So, what can you do during life’s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?

1. Stay present. I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety.  Why?  Because fear is always a “future experience.”  While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future.

What’s more, fear is never “real.” It is only ever an imagined thought

Now, hear me out on this.  Am I saying that what you fear will never happen?

No.

What I am saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and/or are anxious about isn’t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment.  Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future.

The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.

So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening.

This practice is life-changing. 

Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness – and love – from making its way to you. 

This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us. 

Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less

As I said: Life-Changing!

 

2. Focus on what you CAN control. During the storm, there were many things I could not control – the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on. 

There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.

Similarly, during life’s storms, there are things you can’t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.

However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.

When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered.  You are not at the mercy of the storm.  Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.

 

3. Ask for and receive help.  This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women.  You’re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you’re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own.  You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.

However, quite the opposite is true! 

It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help.  It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.

I can’t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out.  What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!

I heard responses like, “I’m used to toughing things out,” “I’m okay with sacrificing,” “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure something out” – even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!

And so many powerful women do the same thing during life’s storms! 

You don’t reach out for help or support so that you won’t seem weak.

You believe that struggling and “suffering” through the heartache is somehow “noble” or makes you stronger.

You deny help and support because you feel as if you “should be able to figure this ‘relationship thing’ out on my own.”

And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist – many times for much longer than is necessary – when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what you really want.

There’s no honor or glory in unnecessary martyrdom or sacrificing.

Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.

 

Life’s storms will come. You don’t have much choice in that… That part’s not “optional.”

What you can choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.

What is optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.

 

I know what my choice is! 

Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!

 

 

 

 

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