by heartsdesireintl | Sep 1, 2018 | Dating, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Successful Women
by Gladys Diaz
The Most Important Relationship Skill Nobody’s Taught You
If you’re like most women we know, you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined webinars, and attended courses to learn what it is that it takes to “get a great man” or “get your ex back.”
There is absolutely no shortage of “rules,” tips, tricks, and strategies to “get a man” to choose and love you.
However, the very term of “getting” someone to do something implies that the other person doesn’t want to do the thing you want them to do.
Think about it… If you have to “get” someone to do something, that means that –
- there is something that the other person is resisting
- you are doing all the “hard work”
- there is not a natural flow or ease present – you are having to manipulate or force something to happen in order to get the result you want
I don’t know about you, but when I think about being in love with someone, I don’t want to have to work hard, AND I don’t want to have to force or convince him to want to love me.
So, how do you easily and effortlessly attract a man who can’t resist you and can’t imagine his life without you?
Well, the first thing you do is stop trying so hard to “get” love, and, instead, start tapping into your Irresistible Essence. This is the natural and innate power you have to attract to yourself anything your heart desires – love, prosperity, health – anything.
Due to all of the internal programming you’ve undergone over the course of your life, there are certain things you need to “de-program” or “unlearn” before you can learn the skill of tapping into your Irresistible Essence.
Here are just 2 of the ones that MOST impact strong, successful women:
The Danger of Being Independent
Today, more than ever before in history, women are efficient, capable, and empowered to do and have whatever they want on their own.
We have more opportunities than ever to climb the corporate ladder, have our own businesses, and do work that inspires and fulfills us. No longer does a woman have to depend on a man for her financial stability or survival.
While we still have a way to go when it comes to having true equality, we can’t ignore the signs pointing to the fact that the Dali Lama was correct when he said that the world would be saved by the Western woman.
The downside to this however, is that, inside of discovering that they don’t “need a man” to have the kind of life they want, many women have become so incredibly independent that they have lost touch with their desire to share their lives with a man.
See, there is a big difference between feeling as if you need someone to complete your life and wanting someone to share your amazing life with.
Being so independent that you deny the fact that you want to share your life with a great partner is a form of self-sabotage. While you have some of what you want, you simply won’t feel completely fulfilled if you are denying yourself one of your heart’s desires.
And when this is the case, you actually limit your potential for attracting and manifesting in the other areas of your life, including your career!
The Pretense of Independence
This obsession with being independent also creates a need to pretend to want or not want other things, as well.
For example, please explain why women continue to pretend to want to pay for their half of the bill at the end of a date?
If you’re 100% honest with yourself, you know you don’t want to pay that bill! So why are you reaching for your purse, asking him if he wants you to pay, and then judging him when he says, “Yes”?
Another example: Why do some women feel it’s necessary to pretend that they can do everything themselves?
Look, no one is questioning your ability to care and provide for yourself. No one is questioning that you are a capable, competent woman.
However, just because you are able to do it all yourself, doesn’t mean you have to prove that – especially not in a relationship!
When you are in a relationship, you switch from it being a “me” to a “we.” That doesn’t mean you lose your identity or autonomy. It simply means that, while you probably can do it all on your own, in a relationship, you don’t have to.
Plus, it’s okay to allow a man to court and cherish you. It doesn’t minimize your abilities or competencies. It simply allows you the pleasure of receiving his love, attention, and affection. Why would you want to pretend to not want that?
So, how do you continue being a successful woman AND tap into your Irresistible Essence?
The first step is to tune in and see what some of the fears are around admitting that sharing your life with a great man is something you really want. That takes courage and vulnerability, but as a strong woman, it’s nothing you need to be afraid of. It’s inside of your vulnerability and authenticity that your Irresistible Essence is unleashed!
Yes, embrace your talents, abilities, and successes. Celebrate them! You’ve earned it!
However, remember that, unlike at work, you don’t have to “prove” yourself in order to be loved by the right man. All you need to do is be yourself and allow him the pleasure of getting to know the woman beneath the unstoppable exterior so that he can love that side of you, too!
Without acknowledging the desire to love and be loved and creating space in your life and heart to allow that love to make its way to you, you are actually sabotaging your ability to easily attract it into your life.
And the only way to do that is to acknowledge the desire and then learn how to break down the walls of independence so that you can allow love and partnership to make their way to you.
Being both a strong and independent woman, and a woman who is confident enough to be soft and create an interdependent relationship with a man is empowering and a relationship skill you probably didn’t know you didn’t know.
The irony in this is that it’s one of the most important keys to creating and keeping a happy, loving relationship that fulfills and inspires you for a lifetime!
And, in your heart of hearts, isn’t that what you truly want?
If so, email us and let us know what your vision for having a happy, loving relationship is! We’ll personally respond with what we think your next best steps should be!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 8, 2018 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Successful Women
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever asked yourself:
Why don’t I have the relationship that I want?
You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.
You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.
You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.
We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.
And so have many of our clients.
As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.
You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.
Things are different when it comes to love, however.
First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.
Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.
You could also settle for less than what you really want. However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.
Or you could give up on having the relationship you want. So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving. Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!
So, what is the alternative?
Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!
And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!
See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.
The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it! Not on your own.
This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.
It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.
Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.
The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.
Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!
What you need to do is figure out:
- what is causing the same patterns to show up;
- how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
- how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!
If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.
Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!
All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.
One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.
Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!
Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it. However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.
So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 2, 2018 | Communication, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Let me ask you…
What is the most important thing to you, when it comes to romantic relationships?
If you’re like the majority of the women, you’re answer is probably something like, “I want to be with someone who loves and accepts me exactly the way I am.”
Not too much to ask for, right?
Who doesn’t want to be fully loved and accepted?
The problem is that, while many people say they want to be unconditionally loved, not all of them are BEing unconditionally loving.
Don’t believe me? Have you ever said something like this about your partner:
“If only he would ______, THEN we could be happy.”
Or, what about:
“The only reason we’re not happy is because he ____.”
Listen, I know there are things about your partner you may not like. I’ve been with my husband for 19 years. I love him with all my heart… AND… there are things he does that I don’t like.
For years, I tried to convince, encourage, and persuade him to be less angry, more peaceful, less negative, and more positive.
I read him articles and book excerpts, I gave tons of unsolicited advice. Heck, I even took him with me to course, saying that it was “for us,” and then we weren’t allowed to even sit together for 3 full days!
On the way home, in the middle of an argument about the course, we stopped at a red light. He turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and said, “When are you going to stop trying to fix and change me? I haven’t changed. THIS is who you married. THIS is who you promised to love!”
In the moment, I wanted to say, “I’m not trying to fix and change you!”
I wish I could have, but I couldn’t.
He was right.
All of the “helpful” suggestions, videos, books, and courses I would share with him were because I wanted him to change so that we could be happy.
What I didn’t realize is that with every suggestion, paragraph, and quote I shared, I was sending the man I promised to love forever the message that I didn’t truly love and accept him.
Thanks to that…um… “conversation,” I realized what I was doing and the impact it was having on my marriage. Shortly after, I began focusing all of my reading, studying, and coursework on learning how I could be more loving and accepting.
I took the focus off of him and put it all onto becoming the best version of me.
I began learning how to say what I thought, felt, and wanted in a way that focused on me and my needs, and not on what he wasn’t doing to meet them.
I started really listening to my husband and seeking to understand him and his viewpoints and opinions.
And something AMAZING happened!
In a few short months, we were laughing again.
He was being more positive and peaceful.
We were barely arguing.
And the romance and fun was back in our marriage!
Who knew that focusing on ME would inspire HIM to change?
(By the way, those are HIS words, not mine!)
I don’t know what you are going through in your marriage, but if you are tired of telling your husband what he needs to do or do differently, how he needs to change, and all of the reasons why he’s responsible for your unhappiness, AND you want to change that dynamic to one where there is really unconditional love and happiness in the relationship, then wouldn’t it make sense to figure out how to do that?
Wouldn’t it be worth it to learn how to easily turn arguing and the “me vs. you” dynamic in the relationship into truly connecting and into a “you and me” dynamic?
If that’s what you want for yourself and your relationship, then CLICK HERE and share with me what the biggest challenge you are facing in your relationship is.
I promise to respond to your message and give you some real next steps you can take to start turning your relationship around so that you can finally have the happy, loving, peaceful relationship you really want!
You don’t have to go through years of making the same mistakes I made.
Let’s figure out what you can do to make your relationship the kind of happy, unconditionally loving relationship you’ve always wanted!
CLICK HERE! I’m here to help!
It doesn’t have to be hard. I promise!
by heartsdesireintl | May 31, 2018 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
This past weekend I took my kids ice-skating. I know… It was supposed to be the first weekend of summer, but the nonstop rain in Florida totally washed out any plans to spend a long weekend at the beach, so we went for Plan B.
It’s always interesting to me how those first few seconds on the ice can feel so vulnerable. While I have been ice skating before, I’m no pro. As I stepped out onto the slippery ice, I felt as if my feet had minds of their own. Even though I wanted to stand still, my feet were slipping back and forth under me. While I wanted to glide carefree on the ice, I was grabbing onto the barrier wall for dear life.
The loud little voice in my head kept repeating:
“Don’t fall! Whatever you do, don’t fall!”
I kept looking at the kids who were racing around the rink — seemingly fearlessly — and all I was focusing on was “Don’t fall!”
Every muscle in my body was committed to not slipping, falling, and hurting myself on that ice. It was hard to relax and enjoy myself when all my attention was on making sure I stayed upright!
Even when I eventually did move away from the wall and started skating a little faster, the thought of not falling and getting hurt remained my top priority.
And that’s how it can be when it comes to love and relationships once you’ve been hurt.
You try to go through the motions, doing what you think you’re supposed to do, pretending you and your heart are open to welcoming and receiving love, but through it all, your mind is focused on: “Don’t get hurt!”
So, you try to relax. You try to enjoy the date or the time with your partner, but, in the background, every fiber of your being is looking for signs of danger — signs that you might get hurt again.
Now, of course it’s natural not to want to get hurt. But when your main focus is on not getting hurt, few things happen:
- You cheat yourself out of truly being present and enjoying what is happening in the moment
- You’re consistently looking for “warning signs” and red flags, rather than allowing yourself to get to really see what is happening
- You protect yourself to the point that you are always guarded, which does not allow the other person to truly connect with you
Worst of all, you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself from truly opening up, having fun, and enjoying the experience of being with someone who probably has no intention of hurting you, but, because you are hyper-focused on protecting yourself, you never really get to relax and enjoy the experience.
You don’t have to be a moving target for pain, but you also don’t have to have your guard up and guard and prevent yourself from actually opening up to loving and being loved!
If you’re ready to explore how to bring down your guard so that you can attract and experience the love you want, click the link below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
CLICK HERE to break through to the love you want!
On this call, we will look at what your ultimate goal when it comes to love and relationships is, what it is that is having you guard and protect your heart, and what some conscious and safe ways to bring down those barriers are WITHOUT putting yourself at risk for imminent heartbreak!
Love doesn’t have to be hard or painful. It can be easy, fulfilling, and fun.
Step away from the wall and let go. We’ve got your hand and we’re not going to let you fall!
by heartsdesireintl | May 14, 2018 | Communication, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I had a deep wave of emotion hit me yesterday that I couldn’t explain… until later…
As you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and, as I sat there having a delicious Chinese meal with my mom, husband and children, I had a wave of emotion flood over me, and I couldn’t explain why until I thought about it later that night.
See, we weren’t wealthy growing up. As a matter of fact, there were times when we really struggled, and I remember overhearing arguments about money, how there wasn’t any, and what my parents were going to do to make ends meet, pay the rent and put food on the table.
Fights were not uncommon growing up, and I remember many nights praying in my bed at night, quiet tears streaming out the side of my eyes and onto my pillow, silently begging God to please make things better, to have my parents get along, and to please make the yelling stop. I just wanted to feel safe!
When things weren’t so bad, we could splurge a little. That often meant ordering Chinese food for dinner, and it was such a treat!
I remember the smell of the special fried rice filling our dining room, the taste of the salty soy sauce I would always put too much of on my rice, and the feeling that we were going to be okay as we ate and smiled at one another across the dinner table, silently hoping that moment would never end — not just the delicious food, but the peace — the fact that, for this moment, there was no fighting, only joy.
Fast forward 40-something years, and here I was, sitting at a table with my mom, husband, and my two boys. We were laughing and enjoying some tasty special fried rice, and an unexpected wave of emotion created a ball in my throat and tears in my eyes that caught me by surprise.
Why am I crying? Everything is okay… more than okay…
It wasn’t until later that night, on the drive home, that it hit me why I felt so emotional.
See, I made a decision 30 years ago that I was going to have a different life than the one I grew up seeing. I would live a life of love and peace. If I chose to marry and have children, they would never know what it was like to cry themselves to sleep over problems that weren’t theirs to solve or praying for the fighting to stop.
Moving forward, the history of of broken homes and hearts would come to an end, and I would write a new story — one where my past and the past of my ancestors would not determine my future or the future of my children and their children.
I did a lot of spiritual and personal development work to heal, transform, and recreate myself over the years. And, now, as I ate at this table, I was seeing the evidence of that promise I made to myself having been kept. And it was beautiful!
My kids don’t have to cover their ears to not hear yelling.
They don’t have to worry if they are safe and if they’re going to be okay.
They get to live in a house where love and peace are present every day and their needs — physical and emotional — are abundantly met.
They know their parents love one another and them.
My kids are safe and they feel safe.
There is no greater gift I could give them or receive for Mother’s Day. This is the life I always dreamed of for myself and them!
I don’t know if you experienced fighting, violence, addiction or any other kind of traumatic experiences growing up. I don’t know if you are seeing history being repeated in your home, or if the life you are living is not the one you set out to create for yourself.
What I do know is that one of the BEST gifts we can give ourselves and our families is that of breaking the chains of the past; leaving the past behind, where it belongs; and creating a life worth living! One overflowing with peace, and happiness, and love!
If you are not living the story you want for yourself and your children (whether you have them now or you hope to have them in the future), then I’m inviting you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session.
On this call, we will take a look at what your ultimate goals are when it comes to love and relationships, what some of the barriers to having that kind of love are, and I will give you some concrete steps you can begin to follow now so that you can create the loving relationship you want.
You can’t rewrite history, but you CAN create a new future for yourself that is completely free from the past or anything else that may be stopping you from experiencing the love, happiness, and fulfillment you want.
No matter what happened in your past, if you aren’t living in the happy, loving relationship of your dreams, something is in the way! Let’s find out what it is and remove it so that you can finally have and live in the relationship you have always wanted!
CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session and rewrite your love story!
