Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

by Gladys Diaz 

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything

Think about that for a minute. 

What small choices have you made today at work that are impacting your love life?

What are the reasons and excuses you use to put things off, not go after what you really want, and things that you tell yourself about your health, career, or finances to make yourself feel better about not having the loving, passionate lifelong relationship you really want?

There’s a “BIG TRAP” that way too many women fall into that actually sabotages them from having the highest levels of love, success and happiness that are available to them.

What’s “The BIG TRAP”?: It’s the “either/or” conversation. 

It sounds something like:

I need to focus on my business/career right now.

I have to put my kids first.

I need to get my finances in order before I start dating.

I need to _____ (lose weight, finish school, start my business… you can fill in your own blank) before I can make my love life a priority.

What you’re really saying is:

I can either be a great mom OR have a thriving career. 

I can either focus on losing weight OR dating. 

I can either focus on school OR on building my relationship. 

The fact is, NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!!

Anytime you are in an “Either/O” conversation, you are in a full-blown scarcity conversation and you’re letting your fears choose for you. 

Whenever you’re thinking that you can’t have everything you desire, you’re actually stopping yourself from making your dreams come true.  You’re not letting your commitment choose for you, heck, you’re not even letting your reality choose for you. You’re allowing your fear run you and your life. 

What if YOU could choose what you want, instead? 

What if you believed that YOU were powerful enough to create and have EVERYTHING you desire right NOW? 

I know you think you’re choosing when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re simply being responsible or honorable, or that it’s what you should do when you’re choosing to put your dreams to the side. 

But, honestly, who’s really telling you that? 

The #1, most important, longest-lasting and most intimate relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. And, just how is that relationship every going to be a loving, fulfilling one if you’re constantly telling yourself that you can’t have what you want? 

Think about it this way:

Do you want to be with a partner that’s constantly telling you what you can and can’t do, that you shouldn’t go for what you really want, that what you want isn’t possible, , that it’s not the right time for you to make your dreams come true, and that you’re being “irresponsible” when you are simply following the desires of your heart 

I don’t think so! 

I doubt it!

So, if you don’t want to be with a partner who’s always telling you that, then it’s time to stop telling yourself that.

You can be responsible AND invest in your love life.

You can be responsible AND follow your dreams.

You can create a permanent state of abundance AND love AND success. 

But you can’t do it alone. 

Why are we such a stand for this, and why can we say this so confidently? Because we are living it!

This isn’t hoping, wishing, “theory” or positive thinking. 

This is OUR LIFE.  And it’s the life of the thousands of women who we help create the lasting loving relationships AND the abundant, successful lives their hearts desires.

It’s sooooo important that you are selective about who you allow to whisper in your ear and tell you what is possible and how to create the life and love you want.

Let someone who’s got the mindset, the leadership, the skills AND the results that you want to be the one whispering (and, sometimes, yelling) in your ear.

Start living your life from a place of COMMITMENT to creating and living the life and love you want right now!

We know this kind of straight-forward truth isn’t for everyone.

Some people who started reading this email having gotten this far.  They either closed the email, hit “reply” to tell us off, or are judging us in some way.

We. Don’t. Care.

Our commitment to women finally getting themselves out of this “Either/Or Trap” and creating the kind of loving relationships they have always dreamed of is BIGGER than our fear that you may be getting triggered because you don’t like what we’re saying.

But, if you’re the kind of woman who is willing to feel uncomfortable and do what it takes to break through whatever it is that has been standing in the way of you having the love you want, then we invite you to book a call with us.

See, the doors to our programs are closing.  After that you’ll have to wait another year – a whole other year of not having the love, romance, passion, and happiness you deserve and say you want. You simply need to know what to stop doing and what to start doing differently so that you can create that relationship with ease and SPEED.

Our programs are by invitation-only.  You can’t find out about them online. 

It’s only by having a conversation with one of our team members that we can decide whether working with us is your next best step.

If it is, we’ll make an invitation and tell you about it. If it’s not, we’ll be honest and make some recommendations we feel will help you get the results you want.

So, if you’re still reading and you want to finally stop wasting time, energy, and hope on relationships that just don’t work, book a call and see if working with us a good fit. Tell your fears to shut up and tell your dreams that they’re worth it. 

Because, remember how we said that how you do one thing is how you do everything?

If you’re not booking a call to see if we can support you with your relationship goals, then notice you are honoring your fears (and how this isn’t the only place in your life where they are running the show). It’s just that simple.

Where do you want to go? What’s getting in the way? Why are you having the same conversations over and over and nothing changes? 

Be resourceful. Pull yourself forward. Honor yourself. Book a call. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here 

This is your life. This is your dream. Fight for it!

Are You Repelling Men?

Are You Repelling Men?

by Gladys Diaz 

Did you know there are specific behaviors that turn a man off – specific things you may be doing (maybe even unknowingly!) that cause men to shut down or turn away from you?

If so, listen up! Because this is important for EVERY WOMAN, whether you’re dating, in a relationship, or married. Don’t get trapped in the thought that now that you’ve “got him.” A high-quality man wants a high-quality woman, so always remember how important it is to BE the woman he fell in love with in the first place. 

There are three behaviors that are like mosquito repellent to a man – they just shut him right down. So, lean in, listen up, and even if you’ve heard these things before, open up to what you might be able to hear or understand differently that might just change your love life. 

  1. Being Insecure or Needy

No one likes a needy person, right? But how do you know if you’re being needy? 

“Needy” and “insecure” look like being DEPENDENT on the other person for your happiness, for your safety, your security, your confidence. It looks like NEEDING validation from your partner.

For example, are you waiting for him to call you before you can start your day? Are you waiting for him to compliment you in order to feel good about yourself? Are you constantly in a state of worry about how he feels about you? 

When you show up this way, you start to feel like a burden or an obligation to a man. It’s repelling. Men (just like you!) want to feel inspired to do something, not required to do it. 

So, what can you do instead? 

First, you must be secure enough in yourself to know that your worth comes from within you. Without that, you will almost always show up as needy and insecure.  If you recognize that you are someone that shows up this way in relationships, do the HeartWork and ask yourself, “Where is that coming from?” and “Why is it that I show up that way?” As you do, you’ll be able to uncover your limiting beliefs and begin to shift them. 

Secondly, step back and provide opportunities for him to step in. Men like to feel needed and that they have a purpose. So, it’s not just about allowing him to help you or be there for you. It’s also about giving the space for him to choose to do so. 

  1. Being Dramatic 

If you were at our event last weekend, you heard it straight out of our husbands’ mouths: Men hate it when women are dramatic!

Let’s fill you in on what being dramatic can look like, because, while being insecure and needy is pretty obvious, this one can disguise itself in many ways. 

Maybe you’re not dramatic per say, but perhaps you look for things to go wrong. Or, when things are going well, you get bored and begin looking for things that are going wrong as a way to (dysfunctionally) create excitement in the relationship. Maybe you are always worrying that something is going to go wrong, or you overthink everything your partner says and does. 

All of these behaviors create drama and impact the peace and flow of the relationship.

By engaging in this behavior, you don’t allow yourself to experience joy. So, what can you do instead? 

Look for the things to be grateful for. Look for the things that are going right. Whatever you look for, you will find, so why not look for what’s going well? And, if you start to feel the pull for worry or drama, recognize it, feel where it’s coming from in your body, and make a conscious choice to shift into a higher vibration. 

  1. Being Controlling 

The third behavior that turns a man off is being controlling. Have you felt your partner pull away? Has he stopped sharing things with you? Have you stopped talking about the important things in your lives? 

If this feels like what is happening for you, take a look at how you may be showing up as controlling because, like being dramatic, it can show up in ways you may not even realize!

Being controlling looks like saying, “How come you…?”, “Why do you…?”, “Why can’t you…?”, or “You should…”  It might even sound like, “What I would have done is…” or “I really wish you would have…”  When you’re constantly second-guessing your partner, you are actually questioning his ability to think for himself. And you can imagine how unpleasant that feels, especially when it’s happening all the time!

A more subtle way of being controlling is complaining. When you complain, you do two things:

1) you show up as dramatic (and we already went over that one!), and

2) you emasculate your partner by making him feel like he’s not capable of pleasing you.  

So, what can you do instead? 

Bite Your Tongue. Does this mean you lose your voice in the relationship? Absolutely not! It means that you choose the words you say wisely. When you feel like questioning his decision, instead say, “I see you’ve given this a lot of thought.” If he asks what you think he should do about something, instead of jumping in and telling him what to do, say “Well, what were you thinking?” 

Men want to know that you support them and trust them. Show them that through your actions and words, and your relationship will be golden!

You get to choose to take information and either have it make a difference in your relationships or not. Remember: Information doesn’t make the difference. It’s in the application or practice of the information that the transformation takes place.

So, if you have a specific pattern or behavior that you’re beginning to recognize is sabotaging your dating or your relationship, let us know so we can help you dismantle and replace it! 

We want you and every woman to have a happy, loving healthy relationship so that you are having the experience of loving and being loved every day of your life.

So, if anything is standing in the way of that, hit reply to this email and tell us which of the 3 repelling behaviors is most impacting your relationships, and we’ll give you some next steps you can take to create a shift in your love life RIGHT NOW. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Causing You Heartache?

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Causing You Heartache?

by Gladys Diaz 

How you relate to yourself is how you relate to the world. 

Do you feel like you are “too much” of something? Or maybe you feel the opposite and feel that you’re “not enough.” 

Do you feel like you’re too successful or too independent. Maybe you think you’re too skinny or too emotional or too old.

Or, like I said, maybe your limiting beliefs show up as “not enough” statements. Maybe you think you’re not confident enough or not athletic enough or not worthy enough to attract the relationship and the love that you want. 

When I was single, I had a belief that maybe I was going to be successful at everything in life EXCEPT love. I was so confused as to why I was having so much success in other areas of my life, receiving promotion after promotion at work, and still it seemed there wasn’t a man on the planet that wanted to commit to me

I made it mean that there was something wrong with me. I truly believed that I wasn’t enough. How did that show up for me? I over-compensated for it. I showed up as over-competent, uber-confident, and always looked like I was super put together. 

The truth was that then I would go home and cry at night because, even though I was overcompensating for my belief, it was still there, and no amount of covering it up could replace the heartache, discouragement and frustration. 

Until…  I started doing something about it. I dug in to discover where this belief came from. And what did I uncover? 

A memory from the 5th grade where a group of popular girls were talking in a circle and I overheard them talking about me. I remembered hearing them saying that I was too skinny and flat-chested. I also heard them say that they couldn’t believe I didn’t realize I was smelly. Even after I walked up to the circle, they still kept talking about me! As a 10-year old it really hurt my feelings! After that experience, I made up the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I was never going to be a part of the in-crowd, and that people didn’t like me.

And then, 25 years later, there I was still carrying that belief around like it owned me.  I was overcompensating for that belief and not getting the results that I wanted, all because I believed so deeply that something was wrong with me and that a man was never going to love me. 

Are you doing the same thing? 

Are you walking around with a limiting belief that is running you?

How do you compensate for your beliefs?

What would you give to change them so that you can start experiencing the love that you desire? 

If how you relate to yourself is how others relate to you, then, in order to change the way others relate to you, you must first begin with yourself. 

How to Change a Limiting Belief: 

  1. Distinguish What Your Limiting Belief Is. 

What are your limiting beliefs? What do you tell yourself about yourself when you feel fearful or uncertain? Get clear on what is the fundamental belief that the rest of them  stem from. 

  1. Dismantle the Limiting Belief. 

Where did this belief come from? When did you make it up?

Get responsible to the fact that YOU created the belief, and, if you created it, then you can change it. Uncover how the belief is playing out. How is it showing up? How are you compensating? How is it affecting your life, your work, your relationships? 

  1. Replace the Limiting Belief With a Truth that is Authentic to You.

Start training your brain with a new truth. However, if your limiting belief is “I’m not enough” then don’t just make your New Truth the opposite of “I’m enough.” Really get clear on the characteristics that make you enough and claim them.

When I finally started to turn my beliefs around, I began saying that I was beautiful, extraordinary, and amazing. Then I took on BEing those things! I began BEing those characteristics and began to believe that, as I was BEing those things, I had the power to call in someone who was just as beautiful and extraordinary and amazing as me.

I did. 

And, so can you. 

If you’d like to learn even more about how to really change your mindset, the one that is telling you that dating is hard and that love’s not going to happen for you, join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening THIS weekend – September 13th and 14th – in Miami, FL. We will be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, HeartWork that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you are experiencing.  And we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!

 Learn More Here

 

Dating doesn’t have to be hard. But your limiting beliefs may be making it hard for you. Let us help you learn the skills to make it fun and easy. 

 

Not local? Schedule time to speak with our team and get ready to have the love you want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to BE IRRESISTIBLE to Men

How to BE IRRESISTIBLE to Men

by Gladys Diaz 

 

Have you ever experienced this? You go on a date and, from your perspective, you have a GREAT time! The conversation flowed easily, you had fun together, there weren’t any awkward silences, and he even mentioned that he’d love to see you again soon!

And then…

You never hear from him again. 

What is that about, right?! 

So many women get frustrated with this aspect of dating because it can be so confusing.

When this type of thing happens to you over and over and over again, it’s easy to make up stories about men in general, or about yourself. 

You think: 

All men are flakes and dating is a waste of time. 

All men want is to sleep with me on the first date, and if I don’t, then I’ll never hear from him again. 

I’m too much for guys. They just don’t get me. 

There must be something wrong with me because I never get asked out on a second date. 

Sound familiar? 

Here are some DATING SKILLS that will help you to not just get asked out on a date with one man, but to be asked out on multiple dates with multiple men. 

First, there are two things that are extremely important to remember when dating that will save you a lot of unnecessary heartache. 

1.      Remember that you’re not the only person he’s going out with. He’s most likely talking to other women besides you, going on multiple dates a week, and trying to keep everything straight, just like you are. This is NORMAL. It’s how dating works. He’s getting to know different women (you being one of them) to see who he wants to continue getting to know better and possibly have a relationship with.

So how do you handle this? 

2.      You date more than one man at a time, too! When you’ve got multiple dates on your calendar and you’re having conversations with more than one man at a time, it saves you from being so hyper-aware of what each of them are doing and helps you not get attached to someone too soon. 

Want to stop picking up your phone anxiously every time it buzzes and feeling the constant disappointment that it’s not him? Date this way. This is the game-changer. We promise you he’s dating this way, so enjoy the dating experience more by doing this, too!

The next best way to make yourself irresistible to a man and ensure that you get asked on that 2nd date is to be CONFIDENT. 

When you exude confidence, you don’t pursue, you aren’t overly complimentary, and you don’t put pressure on a man to choose you. When you’re confident, you don’t give into the fears that he’s not thinking about you or rationalize doing things (like texting him first, sending a funny meme or a great article) to get on his radar. 

When you’re confident, you wait to hear from him, giving yourself the gift of being pursued. You are PRESENT in the conversation when you’re on the date, being in the moment and not in your head about what you should say and do. You show up as interested AND interesting because you know how to balance talking about yourself while also showing interest in him. 

When you’re confident, you smile, compliment him, and let him know that you’re having a good time. You don’t complain about him or about your life, you show positivity, lightness and fun. This is what makes you irresistible to a man. 

So, if you aren’t currently feeling confident about yourself in dating how do you get there? 

BELIEVE IT AND BE IT. 

BE confident. Be present on the date and remind yourself that you’re simply getting to know someone. Take the pressure off of yourself and him. Relax and have fun getting to know another human being. 

And smile. 🙂 Smiling transforms nervous energy to excited energy! So, if at any moment you aren’t sure what to say or you feel things are getting awkward, just smile and take a sip of your water, and wait for him to make the next move. 

Dating is meant to be fun! And who wouldn’t want to go out on a second date with a woman who is confident, light, and fun?

If you’d like to learn even more dating skills, or you know someone who would, join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening NEXT weekend – September 13th and 14th – in Miami, FL. We’ll be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, HeartWork that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you’re currently experiencing.  And, by the way, we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Learn More Here

Dating really can be fun! You just need to have the right skillset and know how to start BEING that Irresistible Woman that a man asks out again and again!

 

Not local and want a real shift in your experience of dating? Schedule time to speak with our team and get ready to have the love you want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

 

 

 

 

 

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

by Gladys Diaz

I know it’s frustrating…

You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.

You go out and have an amazing time.

You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.

He asks you out on another date… and then another.

Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…

You stop going on line.

You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)

You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)

Then…

Crickets.

And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.

I get it.

It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.

And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.

The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.

The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”

Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.

Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.

Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.

The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.

When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.

This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.

This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.

The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.

Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.

Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.

He doesn’t have to ask you out.

And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.

You’re NOT in a relationship.

He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.

Which is why we recommend you do the same!

Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.

You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).

What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.

The benefit?

  • You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
  • You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
  • You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
  • And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.

Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!

If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.

I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!