By Gladys Diaz
I love it when my husband pulls my chair out for me, gives me his jacket when I’m cold, and walks around the car to open my door. I love that we still dance in the kitchen (sometimes to no music at all), that we love to gross our kids out by smooching all the time (as you can see in the picture above), and that he can still make me laugh until I can’t catch my breath. I love watching him work out, catching him staring at me (or my butt), and when we look across a room at each other and connect, as if no one else there.
And I love that it’s still this way and I still feel like his girlfriend after almost 14 years! The fact is I love that I’m still dating my husband!
The phase of dating and courtship can be a fun and exciting. Getting to know someone new, going out and having a good time, and allowing him to shower you with time and attention makes the first stages of the love journey exhilarating. Unfortunately, many people believe that once you’re in a long-term relationship the fun begins to fizzle and the sex loses it sizzle.
The good news is that this does NOT have to be the case! In long-lasting relationships where both people are happy and still very much in-love, even after several years – and even decades – of marriage, you can bet that one of the main ingredient in that couple’s recipe for happiness includes FUN!
Now, don’t get me wrong. Great relationships don’t “just happen.” It’s not that some people are just “lucky.” It’s not about two people just “clicking” and everything just falling into place on its own. No. Great relationships take work, but the work doesn’t have to be “hard,” and it doesn’t even feel like work when you’re coming from the place of doing what it takes to keep your love alive.
So, what are some things we can do to keep the fun and love alive in our relationships?
- Remember. Remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. List out the qualities that you loved and admired. There’s a reason you chose to spend your life with him! If your relationship is in a stage right now where it’s hard to remember those times, take out old photo albums of when you were dating and let them jog your memory!
- Relive. Sometimes, a great way to relive and re-experience those moments you shared when you first started falling in love is to visit the places you visited in the beginning of the relationship – restaurants, vacation spots, the place where you shared your first kiss or where you made love for the first time. Go by yourselves on a date and relive the memories of those times together!
- Relish. It’s easy to fall into routines and begin to take things – even your spouse – for granted. Every day, take a moment to really be present with your spouse. Whether it’s stopping one another to hug in the hallway, making time to talk after the kids are in bed, or just holding one another before you get out of bed in the morning (we set our alarm 10 minutes early for snuggling time)or before you fall asleep at night. Relish those everyday moments – or, as I call them, “ordinary-extraordinary moments” – together. Allow yourself a few moments each day to feel and express the love and gratitude you feel for your spouse.
- Reignite. Yes, we have busy schedules and lots of responsibilities, but if we want our marriages to remain loving, exciting, and fun, then we’ll make time to be together and keep the love and fun alive. Make time for date nights, exercise and play together. And, yes, this includes having sex and making that fun, too! Wear something sexier than you normally would, dance for him, invite him into the tub or shower, and allow yourself to experience the delight of being desired and pleased by the man you love!
These are just a few tips that will help you experience love, fun, and happiness in your marriage over the years. We’ll be covering even more tips in the talk we’ll be presenting at HeartCamp titled, “Relationship FUNdamentals,” where you’ll learn what both men and women can do to make dating and relationships more fun! If you’re in the Miami area on February 2nd, you won’t want to miss it!
Having a relationship that not only stands the test of time, but in which both people are still happy to be together in the good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer is not about luck. It doesn’t just happen. And, while it is magical, it’s a magic that gets created day in and day out, moment by moment. This is your life. It’s your love story. Make it one you want to experience for a lifetime!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo by Andrielle Photography