By Gladys Diaz
The other day I received some news that knocked the wind out of my sails. Something I’d had my heart set on tell through, and I was devastated. Usually, I can handle difficult news pretty well, but I can honestly say I fell apart.
To make matters worse, my husband was out of town and I couldn’t just run to him and tell him what happened. He called right smack in the middle of my meltdown, and I could barely understand what I was telling him. But he listened. And that’s what I needed.
Now, after he listened, he did try to make me feel better by telling me it was probably for the best, that I’m strong, and that I’d be okay.
In the past, I would have gotten upset that he kicked into “fix-it mode.” However, I’ve learned a few things about men that kept me from telling him to stop trying to fix it!
Men want to please, provide for, and protect us!
1. Men Want to please us. Nothing makes a man happier than to know that he had something to do with the smile on the face of the woman he loves! There is an inherent desire in a man to want to please a woman, which works out great for us, since we enjoy being cherished and adored! This is why it’s important to let your man know what you like and want. Not because he then has to do it, but because it sets him up to win!
2. Men want to provide for us. Since the beginning of history, me. Have been hunters and gatherers. Their role has always been to provide for the tribe. This is why We coach women to avoid reaching for their wallets at the end of dinner or offer to pay their way if a man has made no mention of it. It’s not that we are gold diggers. It’s that, if a man has asked us out and he hasn’t mentioned going Dutch, then we trust that he has it handled. He’s figured out how where he wants to take us and how he’ll pay for it. We don’t have to question his ability to take care of us by offering to “help” him.
3. Men want to protect us. Now, before all my fellow feminists go up in arms, let me explain. I’m not insinuating that we need a man’s protection or that we can’t take care of ourselves. What I am saying is that men like to know that, if it’s within their power to do so, they can avoid having us feel hurt — either physically or emotionally. This is what has them kick into “fix-it mode” when we’re upset because we had an argument with a friend, we’re venting about our boss being unfair, or we tell him about how much we are getting charged for a repair he feels he can do himself. If he is able, a good man will do everything in his power to make sure you feel safe.
So, the next time a guy surprises you by giving you something you just happened to mention in passing, proudly reaches for his wallet when the bill gets to the table, or tells you what you need to tell your boss the next time he speaks to you like that in front of everyone, just know that you’re giving him exactly what he wants: the opportunity to please, provide for, and protect you!
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