by Gladys Diaz
Men and women are different. I know. It seems like I’m stating the obvious. But think of how many times you’ve gotten upset, been disappointed, or complained that the guy you’re dating or in a relationship with doesn’t “get you,” doesn’t know how to communicate, or doesn’t react or respond the way you think he should?
Many times, we expect our guys to listen and respond to us like a girlfriend would. We want him to say and do just the right things; be able to listen for hours, if necessary, to every detail of the argument we had with a co-worker without jumping in and trying to fix it or tell us what we should do; know exactly what we’re thinking and how we feel; and we want him to do all of this within our timeline and according to our standards – Stat!
The problem is that most men won’t listen, act, or speak to us like our girlfriends. Why?
Because men are NOT bigger, more muscular, hairier women!
They are men!
So, what are some of the differences between men and women and what are some things we can do to help us date, communicate, and relate better with men?
1. Remember that “different” does not mean “wrong.”
We all have a way we prefer things to go. When it comes to men, women, and relationships, it’s important to remember that it’s our differences that played a factor in attracting us to one another. Just because he communicates or does things a little differently than you would, doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Being open to accepting and embracing your differences and considering alternate ideas and points of view can help make your relationship even better.
2. Remember that there’s another person on the other side of this relationship.
When we’re dating or in a relationship, we can spend a lot of time analyzing and judging what the other person is saying or doing to see if it fits with our idea of what an ideal partner should be. Too often, however, we forget that there is another human being on the other side of the relationship who has ideas, opinions, and feelings of his own. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything he says or does, just that you are willing to honor and respect those words, thoughts, and actions as his words, thoughts, and actions.
3. Remember that “unconditional love” is just that: Love without conditions.
It’s easy to think, “If he was the right guy for me, he would…” or “If he really loved me, he would…” In a relationship, those ultimatums or expectations can be a recipe for disaster. Consider that it’s quite possible that he is the right guy for you, even if he doesn’t dress, think, or speak the way you think he should. Consider that his love for you doesn’t need conditions or requirements to exist (it’s called “unconditional love” for a reason!). Be open to the idea that he’s an imperfect man who is absolutely perfect for you and be willing to let go of the expectations and conditions that limit how much love you are willing to give and receive!
There are many more ways that men and women differ and that we can deal with those differences in a way that doesn’t limit or restrict the way we date, communicate, and relation to the opposite sex. If you live in South Florida and want to be part of a fun and enlightening conversation about this topic, join us Saturday, March 9th for the Decoding the Opposite Sex Relationship Expert Panel and Mixer at PAX Miami. We’ll be answering questions submitted by singles and couples in our live audience and via Twitter (@HeartsDesireInt #sexesdecoded)! After the panel, two amazing bands playing: ARAKA and Spam Allstars! So, come on out, learn, dance, mingle and have fun! See you there!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
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