{"id":1117,"date":"2012-11-30T14:17:14","date_gmt":"2012-11-30T18:17:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.wordpress.com\/?p=1117"},"modified":"2012-11-30T14:17:14","modified_gmt":"2012-11-30T18:17:14","slug":"are-you-selling-out-on-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/are-you-selling-out-on-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Selling Out on You?"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"love<\/a><\/p>\n

Working with women from around the world of all ages and in all stages of relationships \u2013 single, dating, and married \u2013 it\u2019s always interesting to see some of the things we all share in common.\u00a0 One of the things that we\u2019ve found is how quickly we women tend to \u201csell-out\u201d on ourselves and on what we really want.<\/p>\n

We tend to think that it\u2019s \u201chumble\u201d or \u201cgenerous\u201d to put other people\u2019s needs above our own.\u00a0 We tend to put aside what we want, thinking that it will somehow make us appear more loving.\u00a0 We\u2019ll even deny<\/i><\/b> that we want something \u2013 like being in a loving, happy, fulfilling, and passionate relationships —\u00a0 and then wonder why we\u2019re not in one!<\/p>\n

One of the first things we do when we work with single women is to get them focused on what they want in a relationship.\u00a0 And, please, note that I said what<\/i> they want<\/b>, not who <\/i>they want.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about the guy.\u00a0 It really isn\u2019t!\u00a0 It\u2019s about YOU and what you want to experience in a relationship.\u00a0 It\u2019s about getting really real<\/i><\/b> with yourself and stop pretending that you don\u2019t want to be in the type of relationship where you feel loved and protected and simply adored!<\/p>\n

Because here\u2019s the truth, ladies:<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t know what you want, you\u2019ll settle for what you think you can get!<\/b><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing \u201cwrong\u201d with wanting to be in a great relationship \u2013 one that is filled with love, intimacy, honesty, open communication, and passion! Thinking that wanting to love and be loved by someone somehow makes you \u201cweaker\u201d or less powerful is not only total BS<\/i><\/b>, but it\u2019s more damaging than you think!\u00a0 Anytime we deny ourselves something that our heart truly desires, we are being completely inauthentic with ourselves and others, impacting our sense of vitality (the feeling of being alive), and causing resentment to grow.\u00a0 On the surface, it may seem like we resent men, saying that they \u201cdon\u2019t know what they want,\u201d or \u201ccan\u2019t commit,\u201d but the truth is that the resentment filling our hearts \u2013 making them hard and cold \u2013 is really resentment toward ourselves.\u00a0 <\/i>We may be able to pretend and lie to others, but we <\/i>know our own heart\u2019s desires.<\/p>\n

We know that, if we could put our fears aside \u2013 just for a bit \u2013 and get real with ourselves about what we want and what would make us truly happy, a loving, fulfilling relationship would be right at the top of that list!\u00a0 And, make no mistake about it, it\u2019s fear<\/b> that makes us want to pretend that we\u2019re \u201cfine\u201d without being in a relationship.<\/p>\n

So, what is it that we\u2019re so afraid of?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. We\u2019re afraid that admitting wanting to be in a relationship makes us \u201cweak\u201d and threatens our independence.<\/b> Wanting to be in a great relationship doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re unable <\/i>to take care of yourself.\u00a0 It just means you don\u2019t have to<\/i> \u2013 not all the time, anyway!\u00a0 You will still be able to take care of your needs, provide for yourself, and be a capable, strong, and powerful woman.\u00a0 The difference is that, there\u2019s someone there who is willing to contribute to your life and who, during the times when you\u2019re not feeling completely \u201cinvincible,\u201d is there to provide you with a shoulder to lean on, encouragement, and place to call home.<\/li>\n
  2. We\u2019re afraid that we\u2019ll \u201close\u201d our identity. <\/b>Many women are so used to turning themselves inside out and all the way around to try to fit into the image of what they think the guy they are with wants in a woman that they feel like they \u201close\u201d themselves every time they are in a relationship.\u00a0 Some are afraid that they\u2019ll have to somehow sacrifice their professional success and \u00a0all the things they\u2019ve worked so hard to achieve to be in a relationship. The man who will step in and fulfill your dreams is going to fall in-love with YOU \u2013 ALL of you! You don\u2019t need to pretend or \u201cperform\u201d or try to do anything to impress him.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to be attracted to the irresistible woman<\/b> you are.<\/li>\n
  3. We\u2019re afraid we won\u2019t get what we want. <\/b>\u00a0One of the main reasons we deny what we want is because, on some level, we think we won\u2019t get it.\u00a0 We\u2019re so afraid of being disappointed or heartbroken that we\u2019ll actually choose<\/i><\/b> to go at it alone, to hide the fact that we long to be loved and accepted for who we are, and we\u2019ll put on an air of invincibility to hide from and protect our vulnerability.\u00a0 Many of us also believe that in order to have this wonderful relationship, we\u2019ll have to \u201csacrifice\u201d the happiness we have in another.\u00a0 This is why so many women will deny tht they want a relationship and throw themselves, into succeeding in their careers.\u00a0 This at least makes them feel financially secure and gives them the sense that they can at least have some control over their \u201chappiness. This fear that we\u2019ll have to choose between professional success and having a fulfilling romantic life perpetuates our belief that we\u2019re not able to have everything what desire for our lives.\u00a0 So we create a self-fulfilling prophecy and gather evidence to support our belief that we\u2019ll never get what we want, anyway, so why bother?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Moving past these fears can be difficult, because they are hidden.\u00a0 They are so hidden, in fact, that we\u2019re not even aware<\/i> that they exist!\u00a0 Rather than being able to see that our fear of being hurt, taken advantage of, or unloved is simply a thought<\/i> we have, we believe <\/i><\/b>that our fears are real<\/i> and we will say that we\u2019re perfectly happy being alone, even though we know in our hearts that we really do<\/i> want to share our lives with someone who loves us as much as we love them!\u00a0 So we live our lives allowing the fears to take over, and instead of creating and living in the life of our dreams, we sell out and settle for what we think<\/i> we can get.<\/p>\n

    AND it doesn\u2019t have to be this way!<\/p>\n

    Helping women to see and remove <\/i><\/b>the fears that are stopping them is only part <\/i>of the amazing work we\u2019ll be doing in our new course \u201cBeing \u2018The Invincible Woman\u2019 at Work and \u2018The Irresistible Woman\u2019 in Your Love Life!\u201d<\/a><\/i>\u00a0 In this course, women will begin to uncover the fears that have been stopping them from attracting the love their hearts desire.\u00a0 Once uncovered, we will begin to dismantle the fear, clear it out of the way, and create a new opening through which love can enter!\u00a0 We\u2019ll also be discussing how to transition from being \u201cinvincible\u201d in the workplace (which really works at work, since it helps us soar to the top of our industry or profession and achieve professional success) to becoming the irresistible woman<\/i><\/b> in your love life.\u00a0 You\u2019ll learn about the \u201cbusiness skills\u201d that propel us in the workplace but intimacy in a relationship.\u00a0 And we\u2019ll show you how to step into becoming the woman you were created to be \u2013 a loving, empowered, woman who embraces her feminine energy and is absolutely irresistible <\/b>to men so that you can attract the man who is perfect for you!<\/p>\n

    So, register <\/a>now to secure your spot and take a step toward making 2013 the year that your every dream and heart\u2019s desires become realities!<\/p>\n

    P.S. If you missed the free Teleclass we held on Wednesday on “Having it ALL!: Being ‘The Invincible Woman’ in the Workplace and ‘The Irresistible Woman’ in Your Love Life!”<\/a> not to worry, you can listen to the recording by clicking here<\/a>!<\/p>\n

    Comments? Questions? Let us know!\u00a0 We love hearing from you! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    by Gladys Diaz Working with women from around the world of all ages and in all stages of relationships \u2013 single, dating, and married \u2013 it\u2019s always interesting to see some of the things we all share in common.\u00a0 One of the things that we\u2019ve found is how quickly we women tend to \u201csell-out\u201d on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,13,16,17,21,22,23],"tags":[31,47,50,63,68,70,88,90,105],"class_list":["post-1117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-advice","tag-dating","tag-empowerment","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationships","tag-romance-2","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1117\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}