{"id":1142,"date":"2012-12-05T17:58:34","date_gmt":"2012-12-05T21:58:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.wordpress.com\/?p=1142"},"modified":"2012-12-05T17:58:34","modified_gmt":"2012-12-05T21:58:34","slug":"reality-check-love-lessons-learned-from-the-real-housewives-of-miami","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/reality-check-love-lessons-learned-from-the-real-housewives-of-miami\/","title":{"rendered":"“Reality” Check: Love Lessons Learned from The Real Housewives of Miami"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Young<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m almost embarrassed to admit this, but, yes, from time to time, I watch reality TV.\u00a0 Usually, it\u2019s something inspirational, like Oprah\u2019s Lifeclass<\/i>, Iyanla, Fix My Life<\/i>, or Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition.<\/i> I prefer to watch reality shows that inspire the audience who is watching to make similar changes in their own lives.\u00a0 And, there are shows I watch as a dating and relationship coach for \u201cresearch\u201d on what to say to my clients (and, more often, with some of the matchmaking and dating shows, what not <\/i><\/b>to say to them).<\/p>\n

There is one show that I watch that, while not it\u2019s \u201cinspirational,\u201d nor does it \u201ctechnically\u201d have to do with dating and relationships, is providing more research than I expected when I began watching it: The Real Housewives of Miami<\/a>.<\/i>\u00a0 As someone who truly believes in the empowerment of women and in helping women become the best versions of themselves, I tend to stay away from drama-driven shows that depict women \u2013 or have women depict themselves \u2013 in an unfavorable light.\u00a0 But when I learned that someone I knew and have worked with before was going to be on the show, I was intrigued to watch!<\/p>\n

So, what love lessons have I gleaned from watching The Real Housewives of Miami<\/i> that I can share with you?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n

    You have to be crystal clear<\/i> about what you want to experience in a relationship.<\/b><\/h3>\n

    Several of the cast members, including Karent Sierra<\/a>, have learned the hard way that, if you\u2019re not 100% clear about what you want to experience in a relationship, you will \u201csettle<\/a>\u201d for what you get.\u00a0 When your heart\u2019s desire is to be married and have children, it doesn\u2019t mean that you would never date someone who, at the beginning is not sure this is something that he wants.\u00a0 However, once you\u2019ve been together a while and shared how important this is to you, if he\u2019s still showing signs that this is not what he <\/i>wants and where he<\/i> is headed, don\u2019t fool yourself by thinking that if you \u201clove him enough,\u201d \u201cprove\u201d that you\u2019ll be a great wife and mother, or try to guilt or manipulate him into seeing how much it is hurting you to not have what you want, that you\u2019ll somehow, eventually, change his mind.\u00a0 The truth is that you <\/i>need to stand for what\u2019s important to you<\/i>.\u00a0 Giving ultimatums, making demands, and wishing and hoping that he will change his mind make it seem like it\u2019s his choice <\/i>to give you what you want to be happy, when the choice is actually yours<\/i>.\u00a0 See, only you<\/i> know how long you are willing to wait to have the life your heart desires, and, eventually, you may \u00a0need to make the courageous decision, as Karent did, to move on, knowing that there is<\/i><\/b> someone out there (who, by the way, is already looking for you) who will not only love and cherish you for the amazing woman you are, but who is also willing to step into your life and make the relationship of your dreams a reality for both<\/i> of you<\/i>!<\/li>\n

  2. \n

    When it\u2019s over, it\u2019s time to move on \u2013 Really<\/i> move on.<\/b><\/h3>\n

    As strong and powerful a woman as Ana Quincoces<\/a> is, it\u2019s hasn\u2019t been easy watching her pain as she comes to terms with her marriage coming to an end \u2013 a real<\/i> end.\u00a0 She and her husband, Robert, have been separated and even dating other people for a while, but it wasn\u2019t until the episode a few weeks ago, when Ana moved out of the law office they had been sharing for years, that we were able to see just how painful it was for her to really <\/i>come to terms with the end of the marriage, the business partnership, and all of the hopes and dreams they shared when they first began their life together.\u00a0 It was nice to see her vulnerable side \u2013 not because I was glad she was experiencing pain \u2013 but because it was refreshing to see that the divorce was <\/i>a big deal to her, and that she was finally beginning to let go and really <\/i>begin to move forward with her new life.\u00a0 See, fear keeps us holding onto the past \u2013 whether it\u2019s holding on to an unhealthy relationship, because, as uncomfortable as is, it\u2019s what familiar and what we\u2019ve grown accustomed to; holding on to the memories of what used to be, because we are afraid to stake a step into the unknown future; or holding on to a person, because we\u2019re afraid that either he will <\/i>find the love of his life with another, or we\u2019re afraid that we won\u2019t.<\/i> Fear keeps us stuck and doesn\u2019t allow us to experience the joy and love that are our birthright!\u00a0 Only when we are willing to let go \u2013 really<\/i> let go \u2013 of the past, can we create space in our lives to experience something new\u2026 Something that is completely free of the constraints of the past and launches us into a new life \u2013 and a new love \u2013 that has just been waiting <\/i>for us to be ready to step into it!<\/li>\n

  3. \n

    Don\u2019t allow your fears to cheat you out of experiencing the love you desire and deserve!<\/b><\/h3>\n

    Moving on and learning to love again is scary, and Adriana De Moura<\/a> would probably use the word \u201cterrifying\u201d!\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until the episode where she threw a 50th<\/sup> Anniversary party for her fianc\u00e9, Fredric\u2019s, parents, that we could hear <\/i>her longing to have a loving, passionate relationship that last for a lifetime. Adriana was so vulnerable when she shared how afraid she is of really committing to Fredric and marrying him. Her fear is understandable.\u00a0 One of the scariest aspects of being in a relationship is that there are no guarantees<\/i><\/b>.\u00a0 Loving requires taking an emotional risk<\/a>. <\/i><\/b>When we choose to open our hearts again \u2013 particularly after having been hurt by infidelity, or because the person we fell in-love with simply is not the one willing to step in and helps us make our dreams come true \u2013 it takes an incredible amount of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable again.\u00a0 We tend to put on this \u201ctake-it-or-leave-it\u201d air about how we feel about love and relationships, and we deny ourselves \u2013 and the man that we are with \u2013 the gift of giving 100% of ourselves to him and the relationship.\u00a0 We hold back, distance ourselves from our desires, and use the pain from the past to stop us from experiencing the love that is waiting for us here and now, in the present.\u00a0 We cheat ourselves from experiencing what love can be<\/i> because of the fear that we will get hurt again.\u00a0 We need to be willing to take that step.\u00a0 Yes, we might experience heartache again\u2026 But you know what?\u00a0 We already know <\/i>we can survive it, because we already have<\/i>!\u00a0 So, all there is to do is take a courageous step, open our hearts, and open ourselves up to the possibility of experiencing a love that surpasses even our wildest dreams!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

    There are many more<\/em> love lessons I\u2019ve learned from watching this show, and I\u2019ll share more on the next blog post.<\/p>\n

    For now, if you have comments or questions you\u2019d like to share, please feel free to do so below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Image courtesy of imagerymajestic<\/a> via FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    by Gladys Diaz I\u2019m almost embarrassed to admit this, but, yes, from time to time, I watch reality TV.\u00a0 Usually, it\u2019s something inspirational, like Oprah\u2019s Lifeclass, Iyanla, Fix My Life, or Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition. I prefer to watch reality shows that inspire the audience who is watching to make similar changes in their own […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,9,13,16,17,21,22,23],"tags":[31,47,57,63,68,70,83,88,90,105],"class_list":["post-1142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-hdi-blog","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-advice","tag-dating","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-real-housewives-of-miami","tag-relationships","tag-romance-2","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1142\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}