{"id":12588,"date":"2021-03-25T17:25:45","date_gmt":"2021-03-25T21:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/?p=12588"},"modified":"2021-04-07T11:35:31","modified_gmt":"2021-04-07T15:35:31","slug":"ditch-control-and-inspire-the-man-in-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/ditch-control-and-inspire-the-man-in-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Ditch Control and Inspire the Man in Your Relationship!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″]

by Gladys Diaz\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you know what\u2019s kryptonite to relationships and a behavior a lot of women don\u2019t even realize they have?<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s one of the things that is most unattractive to men and will diminish the love and respect in a relationship faster than anything else.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s also one of the things we get asked about by women the most because, when they recognize it as a pattern, they immediately know they want to adjust.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Can you guess what it is?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019re talking about <\/b>control.<\/b><\/p>\n

Being controlling isn\u2019t just unattractive, <\/span>it\u2019s extremely ineffective in relationships<\/span>. We want to support you in understanding what control looks like and how you can adjust your behavior so that you can have less control and a lot more love and respect in your relationship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Trying to control my husband through constant criticism and correcting was something I didn\u2019t even realize I was doing for a very long time.\u00a0 It\u2019s also what almost led to us splitting up.<\/span>
<\/span>
<\/span>What I felt was me being supportive, encouraging, and helpful was actually diminishing, emasculating, and stripping away the love and intimacy in my marriage.\u00a0 But it was a blindspot for me.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t see how controlling I was being.<\/span><\/p>\n

Since you can\u2019t change a behavior you don\u2019t know you have, what does control look and sound like?\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

The most common form control takes is through your <\/span>communication<\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You may think you\u2019re simply \u201cbeing honest\u201d with your partner or sharing your feelings with someone you\u2019re dating… But the words you choose you may be coming off as controlling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say, for example, that you would really like to have more conversations on the phone with the man\u00a0 you\u2019re dating\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you say, \u201c<\/span>You never call me like you used to<\/span><\/i>.\u201d or \u201c<\/span>Call me tomorrow at 5pm<\/span><\/i>\u201d?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If so, you are exhibiting control.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Why?<\/span><\/p>\n

Because, in the first statement, you\u2019re not saying what you want or how you feel. You\u2019re complaining.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the second statement, you\u2019re telling him what to do <\/span>and <\/span><\/i>when to do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, how can you say this instead?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Say, \u201cI<\/span>\u2019d love to chat on the phone soon<\/span><\/i>!\u201d or \u201c<\/span>I would prefer to talk on the phone more often.<\/span><\/i>\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

These statements focus 100% on you and serve as a very appealing invitation to call you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you\u2019d like to go away for the weekend with your partner.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you say, \u201c<\/span>We should go somewhere together this weekend<\/span><\/i>?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yep, that\u2019s controlling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, say, \u201c<\/span>I\u2019d love to go away together.<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

These simple adjustments in your communication are inspiring to a man and show love for him and respect for his desires and feelings, while at the same time expressing yours.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

The reason control is kryptonite in a relationship is because when a man feels like he\u2019s being controlled, he will do one of two things.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. He will dig his heels in and refuse to do the thing you\u2019d like him to do.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. He will submit.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    You don\u2019t want <\/span>either <\/span><\/i>of those things!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    You want a man to be <\/b>inspired <\/i><\/b>to be with you, to desire to make you happy, and to have fun, lightness and joy present in your relationship.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

    Wonder what causes that almost-immediate urge to tell him what to do and say?<\/span><\/p>\n

    The urge to control <\/span>always stems from a fear<\/span> that something is or isn\u2019t going to happen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    So, how do you shift out of that fear and, instead, show your man that you respect him and see him as a strong man, capable of making good decisions, and trusting that he wants to make you happy?<\/span><\/p>\n

    Before you speak, ask yourself these three questions:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. What am I afraid will\/will not happen if I don\u2019t say this?<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. How can I say what I want to say, focusing solely on what <\/span>I\u2019m <\/span><\/i>feeling and want to express <\/span>without <\/span>bringing him or his actions into the statement.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
    3. What emotion will I inspire in my partner by saying this?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      It takes some conscious effort to interrupt that internal chatter that;s always going on in our heads and think about how the words we choose will land for our partners.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      Shifting out of a pattern of control isn\u2019t easy, but it is <\/b>so <\/i><\/b>worth it!\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

      And as you practice, it becomes easier and easier to do.<\/b><\/p>\n

      If you\u2019d like some support in shifting a pattern of control in your dating experiences or relationships, let us support you by booking a Love Breakthrough Session with one of our coaches. On this call, we\u2019ll explore what some of your control triggers are, and give you some clear steps on what to do to shift from controlling to inspiring your man!<\/span>
      <\/span>
      <\/span>Like we said, many times, these controlling behaviors are things you may not even realize you have, and with some support to help you see them, you can completely transform them and create more love and intimacy in\u00a0 your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now<\/b><\/a>!<\/span><\/p>\n

      When a man feels respected, loved and connected to you, he will do just about anything to make you happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Choose your words wisely so you inspire that type of connection in your relationship!<\/span><\/p>\n

      <\/i><\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      by Gladys Diaz\u00a0 Do you know what\u2019s kryptonite to relationships and a behavior a lot of women don\u2019t even realize they have? It\u2019s one of the things that is most unattractive to men and will diminish the love and respect in a relationship faster than anything else. It\u2019s also one of the things we get […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12589,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5,6,13,125,16,21,22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","category-communication-2","category-dating-2","category-intimacy-2","category-keeping-the-love-alive","category-love-2","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12588","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12588"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12588\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12588"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12588"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12588"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}