{"id":2181,"date":"2013-04-12T16:57:56","date_gmt":"2013-04-12T21:57:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2181"},"modified":"2013-04-12T16:57:56","modified_gmt":"2013-04-12T21:57:56","slug":"are-you-giving-100-in-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/are-you-giving-100-in-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Giving 100% in Your Relationship?"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"In<\/a><\/p>\n

Yesterday I received this beautiful quote about marriage in my inbox and just had to create a picture quote for it!\u00a0 It really captures the essence of a marriage and what it takes to make it work!<\/p>\n

Too many times, I work with women who, when I ask them what they would like to see happen in their relationships or marriages, will respond with everything their boyfriend or husband is not doing, or not doing well enough.<\/p>\n

For example, the other day I was speaking with a woman who was fed up with her husband.\u00a0 She felt that he wasn\u2019t playing his part in the marriage\u2013 he wasn\u2019t helping to take care of the home or children, he wasn\u2019t managing the finances, he wasn\u2019t making any of the important (and not-so-important) decisions, and he wasn\u2019t doing anything <\/i>to try to help save their marriage. This left her feeling angry, disappointed, and frustrated.\u00a0 It also led her to nag, complain, and tell her husband repeatedly what he should <\/i>be doing differently, only to have him withdraw even further.<\/p>\n

Is this resonating with anyone out there?<\/i><\/p>\n

I could hear her frustration and sadness, and I also heard how the entire conversation was focused on what she felt he should <\/i>be doing. Those unmet expectations were causing her to feel the anger and resentment that were spilling over into every<\/i> conversation and contact she and her husband had.<\/p>\n

See, as long as we are focused on what the other person in the relationship is or isn\u2019t doing, we are not looking at the role we\u2019re<\/i> playing in creating the dynamic we have. As long as I\u2019m focused on what my husband is doing, what he\u2019s not doing, or what he\u2019s not doing well enough, I don\u2019t have to look over here \u2013 at me \u2013 which is thing I can really control.<\/p>\n

So, what can we do to ensure that we are giving our own 100% in the relationship?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

1. Focus<\/strong> on yourself<\/i>.<\/b>\u00a0 Trying to change someone who doesn\u2019t want to be changed can be like trying to tell the wind to stop blowing. No matter how much you try, beg, or plead, it\u2019s not going to happen!\u00a0 Rather than focusing all of your time, energy, and attention on trying to make him<\/i> better, look to see where you might better place your focus.\u00a0 Perhaps you can choose to focus more on gratitude than complaining?\u00a0 Perhaps it\u2019s not what you\u2019re saying to him but the way <\/i>you\u2019re saying it that is causing the opposite of what you want to show up.\u00a0 Perhaps it\u2019s simply choosing to let go of trying to make <\/i>him want <\/i>do something, and just say that you need help and allow him to respond.\u00a0 By focusing on your own actions, reactions, and words, you are more likely to shift the dynamic in the relationship.<\/p>\n

2.<\/strong> Change your perspective<\/b>.\u00a0 One of my favorite sayings is \u201cEnergy flows where attention goes.\u201d\u00a0 What we choose to focus on becomes stronger and what we resist persists.\u00a0 So, rather than focusing on everything he\u2019s not doing or not doing well enough, focus on the things he is <\/i>doing, and express gratitude.\u00a0 Even if all you do is acknowledge the effort<\/i> the energy you are sending is now a\u00a0 positive one of gratitude, rather than the negative one of complaining.\u00a0 Chances are that he\u2019ll notice the appreciation and that will motivate him to want to continue doing things that make you smile, rather than scowl.\u00a0 So change your perspective and look for those behaviors and actions you\u2019d like to see more <\/i>of!<\/p>\n

3. Be open to different possibilities.<\/b>\u00a0 Chances are that you and guy are not always going to see eye-to-eye.\u00a0 A relationship is made up of two individuals, each with his\/her own ideas, preferences, and ways of doing things.\u00a0 Many times, having rigid expectations and only allowing for the possibility of things turning out my<\/i> way and not allowing for there to be other possible ways can cause frustration, as well.\u00a0 \u00a0Creating a partnership is about allowing for each individual to contribute of him-\/herself.\u00a0 So, check to see if you\u2019ve been having a \u201cmy-way-or-the-highway\u201d attitude, and begin to open up to the possibility that there are other routes to your desired destination.\u00a0 You may find yourself being pleasantly surprised!<\/p>\n

As the quote above says, when we focus on giving our own 100% to the relationship, then we won\u2019t spend time looking to see what the other person is or is not doing in the relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019ll have our attention focused on the side of the relationship we can <\/i>control: ourselves.\u00a0 And, in doing that, not only do we allow our partner to do the same, but we can rest assured knowing that we\u2019re doing everything in our power to make our relationship complete.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Questions? Comments?\u00a0 Let us know below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz Yesterday I received this beautiful quote about marriage in my inbox and just had to create a picture quote for it!\u00a0 It really captures the essence of a marriage and what it takes to make it work! Too many times, I work with women who, when I ask them what they would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,8,9,13,16,17,22,23],"tags":[47,57,63,68,70,87,90,105],"class_list":["post-2181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-gratitude-2","category-hdi-blog","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-dating","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-romance-2","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2181"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2181\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}