{"id":2308,"date":"2013-06-06T10:14:57","date_gmt":"2013-06-06T15:14:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2308"},"modified":"2013-06-06T10:14:57","modified_gmt":"2013-06-06T15:14:57","slug":"how-to-let-him-know-youd-like-to-communicate-more-often-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/how-to-let-him-know-youd-like-to-communicate-more-often-2\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Let Him Know You’d Like to Communicate More Often"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Call<\/a><\/p>\n

I have been dating someone for a month and a half.\u00a0 We spend a lot of time when we are together, but do not communicate often when we are apart, which makes me feel a bit sad! \u00a0How do I communicate to him that talking on the phone, checking in throughout the week is important to me, so that he can reach out to me more often, without driving him away?\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

I really like the way you are focusing on how you<\/strong> can communicate what you would like, rather than on what he needs to or \u201cshould\u201d do.\u00a0 This is a great start, because, too many times, whether it\u2019s at the beginning of dating or even further into the relationship, we begin to set expectations and make demands of the guy that can, as you mention, drive him away.<\/p>\n

The first thing to keep in mind is that the two of you are just dating<\/em> right now, which means you\u2019re just getting to know one another (you’re not “in a relationship”).\u00a0 It sounds like you are enjoying the time you get to spend with him, which tells me that he\u2019s treating you well and you are having fun (two very important aspects of dating!).<\/p>\n

I hear that it makes you sad when you don\u2019t hear from him throughout the week, and, given that you enjoy spending time with him, it\u2019s completely understandable that you\u2019d want to continue speaking with and getting to know him, even when you\u2019re apart. I noticed that you said that you don\u2019t communicate \u201coften<\/em>\u201d when you\u2019re apart, which leads me to believe that there is some<\/em> communication, just not as much as you\u2019d like.<\/p>\n

When we express what we want or prefer, I always like to encourage women to present it as \u201can invitation<\/em>,\u201d rather than \u201can obligation<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 An invitation lets him know, \u201cI love it when you call me,\u201d I enjoy talking to you, even when we\u2019re apart,\u201d and \u201cThanks for calling me!\u00a0 I have another reason to smile today!\u201d<\/p>\n

Contrarily, an obligation says, \u201cYou should <\/i>be calling me during the week,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t get why you just can\u2019t pick up the phone for a few seconds, just to say \u2018hi,\u2019 or \u201cWhy can\u2019t you call or check in with me during the week?\u201d \u00a0The problem with the obligation is that it\u2019s nothing short of a complaint and the underlying message is: \u201cYou did something wrong<\/i>,\u201d or \u201cYou messed up\u2026again!<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n

So, can we express what we want or prefer without making him wrong for not doing it as often as we\u2019d like?<\/p>\n