{"id":2397,"date":"2013-06-21T13:49:32","date_gmt":"2013-06-21T18:49:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2397"},"modified":"2013-06-21T13:49:32","modified_gmt":"2013-06-21T18:49:32","slug":"how-to-avoid-getting-attached-to-a-man-too-quickly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/how-to-avoid-getting-attached-to-a-man-too-quickly\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Avoid Getting Attached to a Man Too Quickly"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/HDSite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/holding-onto-mans-arm_FDP_ID-10035370.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2398\" alt=\"holding onto mans arm_FDP_ID-10035370\" src=\"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/HDSite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/holding-onto-mans-arm_FDP_ID-10035370.jpg\" width=\"213\" height=\"320\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Gladys \u2013 How can I raise my self-esteem and so my future relationships are healthier and my standards are higher? I tend to start relationships and fall in love\/care\/get attached so quickly (although I hate to admit that) and it doesn\u2019t matter whether the man is an appropriate mate or not. Most times I even know that he <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">isn\u2019t<\/span> right or appropriate and think it\u2019s ok because it\u2019s just a \u201cfling.\u201d But, I always end up feeling very empty and rejected because it doesn\u2019t pan out.<\/p>\n<p><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>I would like to be brave enough to have high standards and also raise my self-esteem so all my relationships in life are improved upon. People don\u2019t understand why I am single (I\u2019m good looking, smart, nice, etc.), but I am weak when it comes to men and can let people take advantage because I am a pleaser.\u00a0 Any suggestions? <\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p>Becoming too attached to a man is not very uncommon when it comes to dating, particularly if we feel very attracted to him.\u00a0 Many times, that initial attraction or \u201cchemistry\u201d can lead us to want to make something that is just \u201ca fling\u201d or just \u201ca date\u201d into a relationship.\u00a0 Trying to force something to be what it is not can be exhausting and disappointing in the end.<\/p>\n<p><strong>There are several things that you can do to help raise your self-esteem and begin to create more healthy and fulfilling relationships:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Be clear about what you want to experience in a relationship.<\/b>\u00a0 Too often, women are so focused on simply being in a relationship that they forget about what they really want to experience in one. \u00a0They focus on who or what the man needs to be like \u2013 the criteria he must meet physically, financially, and educationally \u2013 that, when they find a man who meets that checklist, they\u2019ll do everything they can to try to make him \u201cThe One.\u201d Rather than focusing on <i>him <\/i>and what he needs to do or be, <b>focus on what you want to experience \u2013 how you want to feel when you\u2019re in a relationship.<\/b>\u00a0 When you focus on making the <i>experience<\/i> your priority, it will be crystal-clear to you when it\u2019s time to walk away from a man that is not helping you create that experience.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0<b>Avoid getting physically intimate before there is a commitment.<\/b>\u00a0 This is especially important if what you desire is something more than just a fling.\u00a0 When you rush into sleeping with someone before you\u2019re sure that he\u2019s someone with whom you\u2019d like to have that type of emotional and physical bond, you always risk getting hurt.\u00a0<strong> Once those hormones kick in before, during, and after having sex, a bond is created and it\u2019s almost impossible to see things clearly and as they <i>actually are<\/i>, rather than how we wish they would or could be.<\/strong>\u00a0 This bond will have you stay with a man much longer than you would if you had waited to see if he was someone in whom you felt safe and comfortable making that type of physical and emotional investment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0<b>Put your happiness first. <\/b>No one is going to love you more than you love yourself. It\u2019s important that you make yourself a priority even once you are in a relationship.\u00a0 This means that you take responsibility for your own happiness, rather than expecting a man to make you happy.\u00a0 It means that you are clear about what you want and deserve \u2013 which is to love and be loved fully and completely \u2013 so that you don\u2019t settle for less.\u00a0 Stop referring to yourself as \u201cweak\u201d when it comes to men and remind yourself that you are fully at choice regarding what happens when it comes to men and relationship.\u00a0 <strong>You get to choose who to go out with. You get to choose how you allow yourself to be treated.\u00a0 And you get to make choices that honor what you want to experience in a relationship.\u00a0<\/strong> No one can take advantage of you without you allowing it.\u00a0 So, remember that it\u2019s okay to say that something doesn\u2019t work for you and to move on if the other person isn\u2019t willing to honor that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We have a lot more power than we give ourselves credit for when it comes to dating and relationships.\u00a0 Take some time to look within yourself and see what it is that you want to experience in a relationship, what you are willing or not willing to compromise on regarding that experience, and begin putting yourself and your happiness first.\u00a0 That will boost your confidence and you will begin to attract men to you who are willing and ready to honor and create that experience with you!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Questions?\u00a0 Comments?\u00a0 Let us know below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Image courtesy of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.freedigitalphotos.net\/images\/CouplesPartners_g216-Women_On_Focus_Holding_His_Boyfriend_Hand_p35370.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Gladys Diaz Gladys \u2013 How can I raise my self-esteem and so my future relationships are healthier and my standards are higher? I tend to start relationships and fall in love\/care\/get attached so quickly (although I hate to admit that) and it doesn\u2019t matter whether the man is an appropriate mate or not. Most [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,10,11,16,22,23,25],"tags":[32,47,50,56,57,58,63,68,87,90,91,92,97,105],"class_list":["post-2397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-hearts-desire-international","category-heartache","category-love-2","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","category-sex","tag-affirmations","tag-dating","tag-empowerment","tag-happiness","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-heartbreak","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-romance-2","tag-self-care","tag-self-love","tag-smcsfbc","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2397\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}