{"id":2418,"date":"2013-06-24T14:22:39","date_gmt":"2013-06-24T19:22:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2418"},"modified":"2013-06-24T14:22:39","modified_gmt":"2013-06-24T19:22:39","slug":"how-to-love-again-after-the-loss-of-your-spouse-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/how-to-love-again-after-the-loss-of-your-spouse-2\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Love Again After the Loss of Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"man<\/a><\/p>\n

My wonderful, sexy, amazingly funny, husband died last year from heart complications following open heart surgery.\u00a0 He was in the hospital for the last three months of his life.\u00a0 \u00a0When do you know to give your heart to that someone, especially if you have been grieving for almost a year?\u00a0 If, he says \u201cI love you,\u201d how do you tell him not to say that to you for a while, and how to say it without hurting his feelings?\u00a0 <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

First, I am so sorry for your loss.\u00a0 Having been widowed myself, I know that there are so many mixed feelings that come with having lost the man you loved and considering when it\u2019s time to begin moving forward again.<\/p>\n

I remember feeling like part of me died with my late husband.<\/strong>\u00a0 All of the dreams and plans we\u2019d made for our future were no longer possible once he was gone.\u00a0 I felt lost, afraid, and seriously wondered whether I would ever find that kind of happiness again with another person. Part of me wanted <\/i>to move forward and allow myself to feel happiness again.\u00a0 Part of me was angry and upset, wondering why this had happened to me at such a young age.\u00a0 And another part of me wondered if I\u2019d have to just settle for someone who made me feel \u201ckind of happy,\u201d \u201csort of loved,\u201d and \u201csomewhat ready\u201d to move forward.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll be honest and say that I didn\u2019t <\/i>feel 100% ready to fall in-love with someone new when I met Ric.<\/strong>\u00a0 I was still grieving.\u00a0 There were more better days than when my husband first passed away, but there were also still some days where the sadness and loneliness overwhelmed me.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t looking <\/i>to find someone new, but I was willing to open up to the idea of at least feeling some happiness again.<\/p>\n

When I did meet and started going out with my husband, I felt a little guilty about feeling so happy again, and I was also terrified that I\u2019d have my heart broken.\u00a0 I wanted to know how things were going to turn out before I invested my heart. I also wasn\u2019t sure how to respond to the love that he was so openly sending my way.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

I decided one day that I could be scared and uncertain and still<\/i> allow myself the permission to be happy and see where things would go with him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

He shared his love for me first, and I remember thinking, \u201cI really thought I\u2019d never hear those words again, and here they are!\u201d <\/i>\u00a0And when I shared my love for him, I remember thinking, \u201cI never thought I\u2019d feel this way or speak those words again, and here I am!\u201d<\/i>\u00a0 It was a wonderful, amazing feeling to know that it was actually possible for me to receive and give love and to feel happiness again.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You ask when you should give your heart to someone new.\u00a0 The truth is that only you will know when you are willing to do that.\u00a0 You may not feel \u201cready,\u201d but if you feel willing to do it \u2013 to take a chance and give yourself to permission to feel joy and love again \u2013 then it\u2019s going to take some courage, but you can do it.<\/strong>\u00a0 You just have to let yourself open up and let that love in.<\/p>\n

You also ask how to tell him not to say that he loves you for a while without hurting his feelings.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it\u2019s fair to him to tell him what he should or shouldn\u2019t do. You can, however, tell him what you\u2019d prefer.<\/strong>\u00a0 Let him know how it makes you feel when he says that he loves you, thank him for his love and how it makes you feel to be loved, and let him know that you need a little more time before you feel ready to respond.\u00a0 That way, you\u2019re acknowledging his feelings for you and letting him know that this is about you<\/i> not feeling ready to respond in kind, rather than telling him how he should feel or what he should or shouldn\u2019t say.<\/p>\n

And I invite you to just spend a little time with you, asking yourself how you feel about him.\u00a0 Acknowledge any fears that may be standing in your way and blocking you from allowing yourself to give or receive love from this man.\u00a0 Are you willing to give yourself permission to live and love again?<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n

Remind yourself that giving yourself permission to laugh, love, and live again do not in any way diminish or discredit the love you and your husband shared.\u00a0<\/strong> It\u2019s just a new season in your life. And, if the man you are seeing now is a good man who gives you the experience of feeling loved, cherished, and cared for, then why would you deny yourself those feelings?<\/p>\n

You have an opportunity to experience love more than once in a lifetime!<\/strong> I invite you to allow for the possibility that your happiness honors the love you and your husband shared as well as honoring your own desires to live life having the experience of loving and being loved!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Comments?\u00a0 Questions? Let us know below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz My wonderful, sexy, amazingly funny, husband died last year from heart complications following open heart surgery.\u00a0 He was in the hospital for the last three months of his life.\u00a0 \u00a0When do you know to give your heart to that someone, especially if you have been grieving for almost a year?\u00a0 If, he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,9,10,11,15,16,17,22,23],"tags":[42,55,57,58,59,63,68,70,87,97],"class_list":["post-2418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-hdi-blog","category-hearts-desire-international","category-heartache","category-loss-of-a-spouse","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-communication","tag-grieving-the-loss-of-a-spouse","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-heartbreak","tag-hope","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-smcsfbc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2418"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2418\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}