{"id":2421,"date":"2013-06-24T23:00:33","date_gmt":"2013-06-25T04:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2421"},"modified":"2013-06-24T23:00:33","modified_gmt":"2013-06-25T04:00:33","slug":"how-to-get-what-you-want-without-nagging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/how-to-get-what-you-want-without-nagging\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get What You Want Without Nagging"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #800080;\">by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/HDSite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Nagging_FDP_ID-100160808.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-2422\" alt=\"Nagging_FDP_ID-100160808\" src=\"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/HDSite\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Nagging_FDP_ID-100160808.jpg\" width=\"360\" height=\"239\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b><i>When does asking turn into nagging?<\/i><\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I often invite my husband to speak to the ladies who attend my training sessions, just so that he can share what it\u2019s like to be in a relationship on the receiving end of the principles that I teach.\u00a0 About 99% of the time you can count on someone asking him, <i>\u201cWhat can I do to get my husband to help me?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p>His answer: <strong><i>\u201cDon\u2019t nag him about it.\u201d<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think it\u2019s tempting to think that if we remind a man about what we said we wanted or needed, what he said he\u2019d do, and the promises we made him make that he will somehow, suddenly, be inspired to do it.\u00a0 What I\u2019ve found, however, is that <b>you\u2019d be hard-pressed to find a single man on this planet who has ever been <i>inspired <\/i>to do something because he was nagged to do it.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Now, this doesn\u2019t mean that men won\u2019t give in, just so that the nagging will stop.\u00a0 Many will.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Well, another golden nugget of information my husband has shared is this:<\/p>\n<p><b>Men don\u2019t like drama<\/b>.\u00a0 Mostly, they just want to have peace \u2013 peace of mind, peace in their homes, and peace in their relationships.\u00a0 They\u2019ll do it, not because the nagging was effective, but because they are more interested in having the nagging stop than they are to having to sit there and listen to it again.\u00a0 What this does is <strong>it cheats us out of having him do something because he <i>wants to<\/i>, instead of because he feels he <i>has to<\/i> in order to avoid the nagging and bickering.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0So, how can we let our men know what we want and would like, instead of nagging them to death?<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0<b>Be clear about what you want (or don\u2019t want).\u00a0 <\/b>Unless you know what you want, it\u2019s hard to express that to someone else.\u00a0 So, rather than focusing on what you think he <i>should \u00a0do<\/i>, just <b>focus on the end result<\/b>.\u00a0 For example, if what you\u2019d like is to go out, instead of staying home, rather than nagging him about never taking you out by saying something like, <i>\u201cI\u2019d really like to go out this weekend.\u201d<\/i> Instead of nagging him to paint the living room again, say something like, <i>\u201cI\u2019d really like to finish redecorating the living room.\u201d <\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0<b>Stay focused on <i>you<\/i> <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">not<\/span> on what you want <i>him<\/i> to do. <\/b>Use statements that begin with the phrases, <i>\u201cI want\u2026,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t want\u2026,\u201d \u201cI prefer\u2026\u201d\u00a0 <\/i>For example, you could say things like, <i>\u201cI want to cook my favorite desert, but I don\u2019t want to wash the dishes\u201d<\/i> or, <i>\u201cI want to go dancing, but I don\u2019t want to stay out too late. \u201c <\/i>Each of these statements keep you focused on <i>you<\/i>, rather than on what you want <i>him <\/i>to do.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Remember that men love to please women. <\/b>Almost nothing makes a man as happy as know that he has something to do with how happy the woman he loves is.\u00a0 If you can remember that men love to please women, then you can present what you\u2019d like as <i>an invitation<\/i>, instead of <i>an obligation<\/i>.\u00a0 In other words, if you express what you\u2019d like purely, free from expectations or judgments about how and by when it must be done, he\u2019ll be more inclined to <i>want <\/i>to help you because you haven\u2019t treated him like a child or given him orders about what he needs to do.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p>When we remember to focus on what we want, and express that desire in a way that invites him to help and please us, he gets the pleasure of not being nagged all the time and we get the pleasure of having our desires fulfilled!\u00a0 Sounds like \u00a0a win-win to me!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Questions?\u00a0 Comments?\u00a0 Let us know below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Image courtesy of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.freedigitalphotos.net\/images\/CouplesPartners_g216-Sister_And_Brother_Arguing_p160808.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">FreeDigitalPhoto.net<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Gladys Diaz &nbsp; When does asking turn into nagging? &nbsp; I often invite my husband to speak to the ladies who attend my training sessions, just so that he can share what it\u2019s like to be in a relationship on the receiving end of the principles that I teach.\u00a0 About 99% of the time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9,10,16,17,22],"tags":[42,57,63,68,70,87,97,105],"class_list":["post-2421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication-2","category-hdi-blog","category-hearts-desire-international","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","tag-communication","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-smcsfbc","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2421"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2421\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}