{"id":2438,"date":"2013-06-28T16:37:46","date_gmt":"2013-06-28T21:37:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2438"},"modified":"2013-06-28T16:37:46","modified_gmt":"2013-06-28T21:37:46","slug":"why-wanting-a-child-is-not-a-reason-to-be-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/why-wanting-a-child-is-not-a-reason-to-be-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Wanting a Child is NOT a Reason to be in a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Biological<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I recently ended a relationship with a man that after almost two years of dating I realized was not in partnership.\u00a0 As much as I wanted the relationship to work out, I saw qualities in him that would not make him a good husband.\u00a0 I see where I could have ended this relationship sooner, but because of my age (I am 40 years old), I wanted to give it my all because I really wanted to be married and have\u00a0a family.\u00a0\u00a0I am now glad I ended it, because I know I wouldn’t have been happy married to him.\u00a0 However, I now find myself at 40 years old wanting children and single.\u00a0 I don’t know if I want to invest another 1-2 years in another relationship and then, if it doesn’t work, out\u00a0find myself unable to have children.\u00a0 I have looked into freezing my eggs but there is no 100% certainty that the eggs will be viable years from now.\u00a0 I have also looked into sperm donors.\u00a0 Adoption is not out of the question, but I would really like to have a child of my own.\u00a0 What would you advise someone like me?\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing this with us.\u00a0 Wanting to have children is one of the first responses I get when I ask a woman what it is that she wants to experience in a relationship.\u00a0 As a mother, I can completely understand why women want to experience this in their lives, and I wish this sort of joy on everyone!\u00a0 However, as you well point out in your email, being in a happy relationship and being a mother are two completely different things.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

In today\u2019s day and age, it\u2019s become easier for women to have children, whether or not they are in a relationship.\u00a0 However, too many children are born into unhappy marriages, and, since you reached out to me and I\u2019m a relationship expert and not a fertility expert, I\u2019d like to focus on the relationship side of your question, first.<\/p>\n

You mentioned how you probably stayed in the relationship a little longer than you could have, but chose to stay because of your age and wanting to be married and have a family.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve been following my blog, you know that I completely agree with honoring your desire to be married and that I fully believe that it\u2019s possible for every woman to be in a happy, loving relationship that lasts for a lifetime.\u00a0 So, I acknowledge you for trying to work things out.<\/p>\n

However, it\u2019s also important that you acknowledge why you really <\/i>chose to stay.\u00a0 On the surface, it may seem that it was out of the desire to marry and have a family with him.\u00a0 But if there were signs way before you left indicating that you probably would not have had a happy marriage with him, then there\u2019s probably another reason \u2013 a deep-seeded fear \u2013 that may have had you stay.<\/p>\n

What are some of the reasons that might have a woman choose to stay in a relationship with someone who may not be right for her?<\/b><\/p>\n