{"id":2456,"date":"2013-06-30T09:34:06","date_gmt":"2013-06-30T14:34:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2456"},"modified":"2013-06-30T09:34:06","modified_gmt":"2013-06-30T14:34:06","slug":"did-i-marry-the-wrong-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/did-i-marry-the-wrong-guy\/","title":{"rendered":"“Did I Marry the Wrong Guy?”"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Woman<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Did I make a mistake and marry the wrong man?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Recently I received a question from someone who was questioning whether she married the right man for her.\u00a0 They\u2019d been married for a while, and, now that the honeymoon phase was over, she and her husband were beginning to notice things about one another that they didn\u2019t like.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not uncommon for couples to begin to notice things after they are married that they may not have noticed or allowed to bother them before.\u00a0 Sometimes, in the excitement of falling in love and planning a wedding, people are more willing to focus on the positive aspects of the person they love.\u00a0 Perhaps this is a practice that should continue year after year!<\/p>\n

One of the first exercises I do when working with a woman who is complaining about her husband and the things that he does that are getting on her nerves is to have her tell me about the man she fell in love with.\u00a0 Regardless of how long they\u2019ve been together or married, I ask her to rewind back to the time when they first met and tell me what it was about him that she found attractive and endearing.<\/b>\u00a0 I ask her to describe him to me in the present tense, as if she just met him.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s interesting about this exercise is that, many times, the things she is now complaining about are the things that first attracted her to him<\/b>.\u00a0 For example, if he was funny and the life of the party, she may be complaining that he doesn\u2019t take things seriously.\u00a0 If he was responsible and serious, she may be complaining that he\u2019s boring and doesn\u2019t want to do anything exciting. If he used to treat her and buy her lots of gifts, now she\u2019s complaining about him not managing their finances well.<\/p>\n

Other times, she\u2019s begun trying to get him to change some of his habits and behaviors.\u00a0 The problem with this is that no one <\/i>appreciates being told what he\/she should\/shouldn\u2019t do or hearing the message that there\u2019s something about themselves that they need to change.\u00a0 Trying to correct, fix, or change our partners sends the message that the we don\u2019t love and accept them exactly the way they are.<\/b> What\u2019s worse, it can cause the other person to begin to withdraw from the relationship \u2013 both physically and <\/i>emotionally.<\/p>\n

The reason I have the women I work with remember <\/i>who they fell in love with is because that wonderful, loving man they chose to marry \u2013 the one they couldn\u2019t imagine living the rest of their lives without \u2013 is still there<\/i><\/b>.\u00a0 He\u2019s just buried under a bunch of complaints and unmet expectations.<\/p>\n

When we remind ourselves of why we chose to marry the man we love, we can bring the focus back to the reasons why he really is <\/i>the right man for us and how we did make a good choice.<\/p>\n

Does this mean that there won\u2019t ever be things that we don\u2019t agree with or like?\u00a0 No. Just because we join our lives together doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re always going to see eye to eye.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t even mean that things won\u2019t bother us from time to time.\u00a0 However, if we can choose to focus on the reasons why we fell in love with him, that may help us remember what a great guy he is and just how blessed we are that he chose to love us back!<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Comments?\u00a0 Questions?\u00a0 Let us know below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz   Did I make a mistake and marry the wrong man? Recently I received a question from someone who was questioning whether she married the right man for her.\u00a0 They\u2019d been married for a while, and, now that the honeymoon phase was over, she and her husband were beginning to notice things […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,10,13,16,17,22],"tags":[30,42,57,63,68,70,97,103,105],"class_list":["post-2456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hdi-blog","category-hearts-desire-international","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","tag-acceptance","tag-communication","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-smcsfbc","tag-surrender","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2456"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2456\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}