{"id":2658,"date":"2013-09-17T17:54:32","date_gmt":"2013-09-17T21:54:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=2658"},"modified":"2013-09-17T17:54:32","modified_gmt":"2013-09-17T21:54:32","slug":"many-marriages-dont-last","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/many-marriages-dont-last\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Many Marriages Don’t Last"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\"couple<\/a><\/p>\n

Being a relationship coach is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.\u00a0 There is absolutely nothing better than helping a woman who has given up on love begin to break through the fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that have been stopping her from allowing love to find her.\u00a0 It\u2019s so fulfilling to watch someone meet the man she\u2019s been waiting for all of her life and see them building a life of dreams together.\u00a0 Perhaps my favorite part is that inevitable moment when she calls to tell me they\u2019re getting married and how she really thought this would never<\/i> happen for her!\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the few times I love being \u201cright\u201d!<\/p>\n

As with anything else, even being a relationship coach has its down side sometimes.\u00a0 Many of the calls I get are from women who are giving up on love, not because they are single, but because they can\u2019t seem to figure out what went wrong and what they need to do to make their marriage work.\u00a0 It\u2019s heartbreaking to hear them talk about how great things between them and their husbands used to be and how difficult things are now \u2013 constant bickering; very little, if any, intimacy; and feeling lonely, even though they are in a relationship.<\/p>\n

The worst part is that this is a pretty common conversation.\u00a0 I receive these types of phone calls and emails all the time from women asking, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d \u201cWhere did the love go?\u201d \u201cIs there any way to get it back?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Thankfully, when a woman reaches out to me, it\u2019s usually because she\u2019s ready to begin turning things around.\u00a0 Even if she\u2019s still at the point where she\u2019s blaming him for the state of their marriage, if she\u2019s reaching out, I know in my heart that there is a very good chance that, if she\u2019s willing to do the work, she\u2019ll be amazed at how quickly her experience of being married is going to change!<\/p>\n

But why is it that a happy, loving, peaceful romance can sometimes turn into a war zone?\u00a0 How is it that the same two people who at one point could not imagine living the rest of their lives without one another can get to the point where they can\u2019t be in the same room without insulting and tearing each other down?\u00a0 And, more importantly, is there any way to prevent <\/b>this from happening or turn things<\/b> around<\/b>?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s take a look at some of the reasons why some marriages don\u2019t last and what can be done to prevent this and Keep the Love Alive<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span> in your relationship so that it can last for a lifetime<\/i><\/b>.<\/p>\n

Thinking that great marriages \u201cjust happen.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know if we should sue Disney or the authors of every fairy tale and romance novel ever written, but this idea that happily ever after just happens, is an illusion!\u00a0 Nothing that lasts or that is of importance \u2013 one\u2019s health, wealth, or success in any area of one\u2019s life \u2013 lasts without putting time, effort, and, at times, money into it.\u00a0 Take shows like Extreme Weightloss <\/i>or The Biggest Loser<\/i>, for example.\u00a0 Even after those people go through 6 months to a year of intense training, changing their eating habits, and living an entirely new lifestyle, and lose hundreds of pounds, there is absolutely no way for them to maintain that new body if they do not continue exercising, eating healthy, and making the right choices for their bodies.<\/p>\n

So, why is it that we think relationships are any different?\u00a0 Even if you have the most romantic, loving, and intimate relationship, unless you make it a point every single day<\/i> to nurture the love and respect in that relationship, there is absolutely no way that it will be able to sustain the curveballs that life throws your way: illness, loss of a job, death of a loved one, or everyday stress.<\/strong> It\u2019s only when we make our relationships a priority in our lives and give them the time and attention they deserve that we can begin solidifying the foundation and continue building on the love that we have in the beginning of the relationship.<\/p>\n

Getting too comfortable.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not going to lie, I\u2019m glad I no longer have to worry about if I\u2019ll ever be married or have the family I always dreamed of.\u00a0 There is a sense of peace in knowing that you\u2019ve attracted the man who has promised to love you for the rest of his life.\u00a0 But I have to be conscious about not taking this blessing for granted. However, I see way too many people who have gotten comfortable in their relationships and are no longer trying to make them fun and romantic.\u00a0 They settle into being busy, being parents, and \u2013 if they can tolerate one another \u2013 becoming friendly housemates.\u00a0 But the passion, romance, and fun that used to be in their relationships are nowhere to be found.\u00a0 They begin to feel bored and grow apart.<\/p>\n

Again, if you want to have a relationship where love, fun, and romance are present, rather than waiting for your partner to bring fun, love, and romance into the relationship, it\u2019s going to be up to you.\u00a0 In other words, you need to choose to be the love you want to see<\/b> and experience in your life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not believing that things will change.\u00a0 <\/b><\/p>\n

Another reason many marriages do not last is because, when things begin to change, or it begins to seem as if the romance is beginning to fade, people get scared.\u00a0 They get scared that they won\u2019t be able to turn things around and that things will continue to get worse. They\u2019re afraid that their partner doesn\u2019t want the relationship to work. And the fear has them not even try \u2013 it actually paralyzes them, and they will pretend everything is fine, ignore the situation, and not take the steps they can take to recommit, reconnect, and restore the intimacy in their relationships.<\/p>\n

It can be scary to think that the relationship you promised to be in for the rest of your life is coming apart.\u00a0 But, if you remember nothing else from this article, remember this: You have the power to create the relationship your heart desires.<\/b> It is entirely up to you.\u00a0 And, while you may not know exactly what you can do right now, know that help and support are available, and it is absolutely possible to have the love, intimacy and romance you want.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Michelle and I are passionate about helping women restore the romance in their relationships. This is why we are hosting the \u201cKeeping the Love Alive\u201d<\/span><\/a> <\/span>Workshop on September 21, 2013.\u00a0 In this half-day workshop, women will discover:<\/p>\n