{"id":3220,"date":"2014-04-29T22:10:43","date_gmt":"2014-04-30T02:10:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=3220"},"modified":"2014-04-29T22:10:43","modified_gmt":"2014-04-30T02:10:43","slug":"vulnerability-the-key-to-creating-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/vulnerability-the-key-to-creating-intimacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Vulnerability: The Key to Creating Intimacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"heart<\/a><\/p>\n

There is a key element to making relationships work that most people tend to avoid, and that is the willingness to be vulnerable.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like most of the women I speak to, reading that sentence led to a surge of panic running right through you.<\/p>\n

Being vulnerable can feel scary.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

Because to be vulnerable means being willing to let your guard down, step out from behind your wall of fears, \u00a0and open your heart to someone else without any guarantees <\/i>that you will be accepted or that the attention and affection you give will be well-received or reciprocated.<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

Naturally, the thought of taking this type of risk is frightening, and it\u2019s possible that you are using this fear to stop you from allowing new relationships to develop or existing relationships to take root and flourish.\u00a0 However, without the willingness to be vulnerable, there can be no real intimacy, and, without intimacy, you simply can\u2019t make a relationship work.<\/p>\n

How can you tell if you\u2019re allowing the fear of vulnerability to impact you and your relationships?\u00a0 Here are some telling signs.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t allow yourself to really<\/em> get to know someone.<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h5>\n

If you\u2019re dating and you\u2019re avoiding vulnerability, it\u2019s likely that you decide pretty quickly \u2013 sometimes just a few minutes into a conversation or a first date \u2013 that the man you\u2019re with isn\u2019t a good fit.\u00a0 Perhaps, for example, you\u2019re on a date and the man you\u2019re with says or does something that you interpreted as \u201ca sign\u201d of impending doom for the relationship, and you decide, right then and there, that it simply wouldn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

If this happens once or twice, it could be a case of \u201cbad luck.\u201d However, if you\u2019re finding that this is a consistent pattern \u2013 where you rarely go out on more than one date with someone, or most of the men you are dating are never a good match \u2013 you want to consider that you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself to avoid getting close to anyone.<\/p>\n

Not allowing yourself to get to know someone may save you some time, but it can also keep you alone.<\/strong>\u00a0 If you notice that this is a pattern for you, challenge yourself to go out on at least 2 or 3 dates with someone before deciding to not see him anymore. It\u2019s quite possible that if you do this, and if you give yourself permission to have fun<\/i> while you\u2019re at it, you may find yourself being pleasantly surprised!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

You rarely let people get to know and see who you really<\/i> are.<\/b><\/span><\/h5>\n

Wanting to be accepted is a very natural desire.\u00a0 We enjoy knowing that people love and accept us for who we are. It\u2019s difficult for people to make that choice, however, if we\u2019re constantly on guard, holding back our thoughts and feelings, and not allowing others to really get to know us.<\/p>\n

This is even more important when you beginning a new relationship, because a man simply can\u2019t fall in love with you if you<\/i> are not there<\/strong>!\u00a0 True, he may fall for your stand-in, but pretending to be someone you\u2019re not will eventually become exhausting. What\u2019s more, you\u2019ll never have the reassurance you want of knowing that who you are \u2013 with all of your strengths, flaws, and quirks \u2013 is who he chooses to love.<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re just starting a relationship or you\u2019re already in one, trust that who you are is enough for the right man to love.\u00a0 You won\u2019t have to be perfect, because your imperfections will not scare the right man away. Remind yourself that a man who truly<\/i> loves you will see and relate to your \u201cimperfections\u201d as part of what he loves about <\/i>you.<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

Being willing to open yourself and your heart to someone else takes courage.\u00a0 It takes the willingness to love and accept yourself first<\/i> so that you can invite the love and acceptance of someone else into your life.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

And, while, yes, it can be scary, because there are no guarantees regarding what will happen after you let your guard down, what you will<\/i> be guaranteeing is that you are giving yourself the best possible opportunity to welcome in and experience the type of love and intimacy your heart truly desires!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Questions?\u00a0 Comments?\u00a0 Let us know below. We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz There is a key element to making relationships work that most people tend to avoid, and that is the willingness to be vulnerable. If you\u2019re like most of the women I speak to, reading that sentence led to a surge of panic running right through you. Being vulnerable can feel scary.\u00a0 Why? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5,6,10,13,16,17,22,24],"tags":[30,42,47,50,57,59,68,70,87,92,105],"class_list":["post-3220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-coaching","category-communication-2","category-dating-2","category-hearts-desire-international","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","category-self-love-2","tag-acceptance","tag-communication","tag-dating","tag-empowerment","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-hope","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-self-love","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3220"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3220\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}