{"id":3954,"date":"2015-02-03T15:44:17","date_gmt":"2015-02-03T15:44:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=3954"},"modified":"2015-02-03T15:44:17","modified_gmt":"2015-02-03T15:44:17","slug":"whats-most-important-to-a-man-the-3-ps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/whats-most-important-to-a-man-the-3-ps\/","title":{"rendered":"What’s Most Important to a Man: The 3 P’s"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0\"black_woman_white_man-hands_bing\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

This weekend Michelle and I participated in and spoke at the Desire to Rise event. It was an absolutely inspiring event focused on realizing our visions in 2015! We had the privilege of inspiring the audience to create and realize their visions for love by creating a Love Resolution for 2015!<\/span><\/p>\n

Michelle and I are used to speaking to audiences made up predominantly of women, but, every once in a while, men will participate in our presentations, and we absolutely love it!<\/span>\"Decide<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s always so heartwarming to see just how committed men are to creating loving relationships, too! In fact, the men in the room this time participated fully in our session, including holding hot pink paper links symbolizing the past fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that had been blocking love from entering their hearts right along with all of the women and they came up to us after the session to thank us and tell us how much they got out of it! It was awesome!<\/span><\/p>\n

Another reason we love having men in the audience is because there is nothing quite as affirming as having the men nodding their heads in agreement when we talk about the three things that are most important to them in a relationship. We call these \u201cThe 3 P\u2019s\u201d: To Provide<\/strong> for, Protect<\/strong>, and Please<\/strong> the women they love.<\/span><\/p>\n

These are a man\u2019s greatest desires when it comes to being in a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because each of them is so important, we\u2019ll focus on just one of them today and I\u2019ll write more about the other two in subsequent posts.<\/span><\/p>\n

A man wants to know that he is capable<\/em> of providing<\/em> for and taking care of the woman he loves.<\/span> <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Now, this doesn\u2019t always mean that he\u2019s the primary bread winner. It means that he\u2019s able to contribute<\/em> to her well-being in some way. For some men, that will mean providing for his beloved financially \u2013 whether that means being the one who works in the home, making more money than she does, or contributing to the finances in some way. For others it could mean that he holds down the fort and provides support for her in pursuing her dreams. For others it means that he cares for her needs in other ways. And some of us are blessed enough to have a man who does all of the above!<\/span><\/p>\n

The point is that a man needs to know and feel like he\u2019s needed. If he doesn\u2019t, he either withdraws to avoid feeling incompetent or rejected, or he begins to depend on the woman, which can then lead to resentment on both sides of the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re in a relationship where you\u2019re not feeling like you\u2019re being cared and provided for, I invite you to look to see where you may be preventing that from happening.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Are you the one doing everything<\/em> in the relationship \u2013 from earning the money, to taking care of the household, to basically doing anything and everything that requires decision making and action taking?<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed because you feel like you are doing it ALL with very little help?<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you beginning to feel resentful about this, and, rather than admitting you need help, you\u2019re continuing to plow along, getting everything done and resenting your man for not offering to help?<\/span><\/p>\n

If you answered \u201cYes\u201d to any of these questions, it\u2019s time to take a step back and provide room for him to step up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, allowing a man to provide and care for you does not<\/em><\/strong> mean that you are incapable of doing and caring for yourself. Of course you can! The thing is that, if doing everything is causing you to resent him and is creating distance in your relationship, you want to ask yourself what\u2019s more important \u2013 doing everything yourself to prove<\/em> that you can, or allowing for the possibility of not having to do everything <\/em>yourself all of the time and feeling loved and cared for in the process?<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of running yourself ragged, denying him the pleasure of providing for you, and causing a rift in your relationship, follow these steps:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Take a breath, step back, and simply admit that you could use some help.<\/strong> The words, \u201cI need help\u201d are like a flare in the sky for a man! They signal that there is something he can do for the women he loves! Men want <\/em>to help. They want to know that there\u2019s a purpose for them being there. I know you may be skeptical. I know I was. My biggest complaint was that my husband never helped me and I felt like \u201cthe single married mom.\u201d However, when I started saying, \u201cI need help,\u201d I saw just how important it was to my husband to know that he was capable of providing for me! So, even if you\u2019re skeptical right now, I challenge you: Just try it!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    1. When he asks what you need help with, share what it is without complaining or over-exaggerating the need.<\/strong> \u00a0Once you say, \u201cI need help,\u201d most men will ask you what you need help with. When he does simply share what it is you need help with. At this point, avoid complaining (either verbally or in your mind) about his lack of help, your exhaustion, and the unfairness of it all when you express your need for help. That is just going to cause resistance on his part and will probably lead to yet another argument, so you want to avoid complaining and nagging at all costs<\/em>.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \u00a0Instead, you can say something like, \u201cI need help moving these boxes,\u201d \u201cI need help organizing these receipts for the taxes,\u201d \u201cI need help putting away the dishes.\u201d Keep it short and simple, and then stop talking<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Avoid attaching any expectations to what the help \u201cshould\u201d look like.<\/strong> Once he offers to help, step back and allow him to do it in his way and time frame. Don\u2019t check up on, remind, or hint at what he should\/could be doing. Just move right along to something else. Many times, we sabotage ourselves from being provided for by jumping in to \u201chelp\u201d or make things easier for our men. That has to do with our own feelings of self-worth and thinking that we\u2019re somehow\u201c burdening\u201d them. Just step back and allow yourself to receive the help. It may feel weird at first, but I promise<\/em>, you\u2019ll grow used to it!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Let him know you noticed and appreciate his help.<\/strong> Once he\u2019s done whatever he\u2019s done to help, let him know you noticed and appreciate his help! Many times women will withhold the appreciation because they don\u2019t want to feel as if the man did them any favors. Well\u2026 first of all, he did <\/em>do you a favor by helping, and, secondly, it\u2019s important to keep in mind that his desire to feel like he can provide for you is closely followed by his need to feel appreciated. The more you let him know that you need and appreciate him and his help, the more likely he is to begin offering to provide for you! It\u2019s a real win-win situation!<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          I know it may seem strange and out of character for you to admit that you could use some help, especially if you\u2019re used to taking care of things on your own. I remember wondering if I was \u201cdumbing down\u201d or pretending that I wasn\u2019t capable of doing something. I was afraid I would seem weak.<\/span><\/p>\n

          What I found out, however, is that allowing my husband to help and provide for me made me feel loved and cherished. Seeing how much he wanted to help me really did make me appreciate him even more. That inspired more gratitude and tenderness from me, which only ignited his desire to continue doing things for me that caused that reaction. As I said above, it truly is a real win-win combination.<\/span><\/p>\n

          \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          So, go ahead and try it, and let me know what begins to open up for you in the comments below!<\/span><\/p>\n

          We\u2019ll focus on a man\u2019s desire to protect the woman he loves in the next post! See you then!<\/span><\/p>\n

          \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!<\/span><\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          by Gladys Diaz \u00a0 \u00a0 This weekend Michelle and I participated in and spoke at the Desire to Rise event. It was an absolutely inspiring event focused on realizing our visions in 2015! We had the privilege of inspiring the audience to create and realize their visions for love by creating a Love Resolution for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6,10,13,16,17,22],"tags":[42,57,63,68,70,87,105],"class_list":["post-3954","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication-2","category-dating-2","category-hearts-desire-international","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","tag-communication","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3954","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3954"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3954\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3954"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3954"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3954"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}