{"id":4018,"date":"2015-03-10T22:23:11","date_gmt":"2015-03-10T22:23:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=4018"},"modified":"2015-03-10T22:23:11","modified_gmt":"2015-03-10T22:23:11","slug":"why-he-cant-hear-what-youre-saying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/why-he-cant-hear-what-youre-saying\/","title":{"rendered":"Why He Can’t Hear What You’re Saying"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"man<\/a><\/p>\n

One of the most common complaints we get from women is that they feel like they don\u2019t know how to communicate with men. This is true for single women, as well as those who are married and in relationships. There is simply a feeling that they are not being heard<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The main problem is usually that the opposite <\/em>is true.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like most women, the truth is that you’re probably talking way too much!<\/em><\/p>\n

Stay with me, here!<\/em><\/p>\n

As a woman, you use about three times as many words as most men in a single day.\u00a0 You have the unique ability to be able to have a thought, connect a feeling to it, and connect that thought and feelings with words. And then you have the uncanny ability to speak<\/em> those words \u2013 sometimes over, and over, and over again.<\/p>\n

Usually, the over-talking comes from fear.<\/p>\n

Fear that you won\u2019t get what we want.<\/p>\n

Fear that you\u2019ll upset the other person.<\/p>\n

Fear that you have to somehow justify why <\/em>you want you want.<\/p>\n

When those fears get in the way during conversations, over-talking is used as a way to try to convince the other person to agree with you, to pacify the other person, or to make a case for why<\/em> what you want is important or necessary.<\/p>\n

The problem is that, when you begin to talk too much, a man simply can\u2019t hear <\/em>what you are saying.<\/p>\n

The desire, feeling, or need gets buried under a mountain of words, reasons, excuses, and justifications.<\/p>\n

In order for him to get the point of what you are saying, your man needs to dig himself out from under all of that, which can feel overwhelming. Hence, the \u201cglazed-over stare\u201d!<\/p>\n

If he feels like he is being pressured or manipulated into agreeing with something, he will resist, which will have him automatically get on the defensive. Now, you\u2019ve become \u201cthe enemy.\u201d<\/p>\n

If he feels as if he\u2019s being disrespected in any way, he\u2019ll withdraw or completely shut down. Welcome to the cold shoulder or silent treatment.<\/p>\n

In any of these cases, no matter how much you talk, he won\u2019t hear you.<\/p>\n

In fact, the more <\/em>you talk, the less likely he is to hear you, because he\u2019ll either be overwhelmed and unable to hear you, on-guard and only interested in defending himself, or shut down and disconnected from you.<\/p>\n

Either way, you\u2019re not getting what you want in that conversation: Connection<\/p>\n

So, how can you speak in way where you can say what you want to say and <\/em>have him hear you?<\/p>\n