{"id":4118,"date":"2015-05-02T02:26:00","date_gmt":"2015-05-02T02:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heartsdesireintl.com\/?p=4118"},"modified":"2018-04-03T21:12:48","modified_gmt":"2018-04-03T21:12:48","slug":"stop-selling-out-when-it-comes-to-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/stop-selling-out-when-it-comes-to-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Selling Out When it Comes to Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"businesswoman-thumbs<\/p>\n

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Time to bust another myth about why successful women can\u2019t succeed in love!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>If you read the previous blog post, you know that I touched upon another\u00a0very common myth about how,\u00a0\u00a0in order to have a relationship, a successful woman will have to settle. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a pervasive belief that a successful woman will either\u00a0have to settle\u00a0for someone who is not as successful, someone she\u2019s not\u00a0that\u00a0<\/em>crazy about, or someone who\u2019s not intimidated by her success.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>All of these beliefs come from the fear of not being able to have it all \u2013\u00a0everything\u00a0<\/em>your heart desires. If you believe that what you want is “too much,”\u00a0\u201ctoo good to be true,\u201d or “unrealistic,” then you\u2019ll do one of two things:\u00a0You\u2019ll either try to minimize your desires, or you\u2019ll make your expectations so insurmountable that there\u2019s little chance of sharing your life with someone who is able to meet all of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Let me address minimizing your desires first.
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One desire that successful women often deny is the desire to be in a loving relationship.\u00a0 They will say that they are perfectly happy alone \u2013 that they don\u2019t need a man in their lives.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>If they are single, they will put dating at the bottom of their very busy to-do list.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>If they are in relationships, they begin to think that it\u2019s better to move on alone than to try to make the relationship work.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>First, it\u00a0is<\/span>\u00a0important that you are happy with yourself and your life, whether or not you have a man to share it with.<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re 100% responsible for your own happiness, and a woman who is content with her life is confident and attractive.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>However, if you\u00a0do<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0want to share your life with someone and you\u2019re saying that you don\u2019t because you\u2019re afraid that you won\u2019t find the right guy, it feels safer for you to be alone than to risk opening your heart to someone or to put effort into making the relationship work, then you\u2019re not being real with yourself and that has a\u00a0profound<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0impact on how you experience life and love.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>See, anytime you deny one of your heart\u2019s desires, you are selling out on yourself \u2013 you\u2019re denying what\u2019s true for you.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>When you do that, even if you have tons of success in other areas of your life, you will feel unfulfilled, because you won\u2019t have what you really<\/em> want. You are, in essence, being inauthentic with yourself.\u00a0 And, if you\u2019re not being real with yourself, you won\u2019t be able to be real with someone else and you will likely attract to yourself someone who is not authentic with you, either. (Prepare yourself for heartache.)<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The second way you could sabotage your love life is by setting unrealistic expectations.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>These expectations will either be about what the \u201cperfect man\u201d has to be like, do, or have, or what the \u201cperfect relationship\u201d must be like.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>I often say, \u201cPerfectionism is poison.\u201d\u00a0 Expecting a person, situation or relationship to be perfect is setting yourself up to be disappointed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, this doesn\u2019t mean that you settle for just anyone. That would be another way of selling out on yourself and your desires.\u00a0 What it means is that you open yourself up to the possibility that you can have a happy, loving relationship with a man who doesn\u2019t meet every point on your \u201cQuality Assurance List” — a perfectly imperfect man.
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\u00a0<\/span>Rather than focusing on all of the external characteristics a man must meet \u2013 height, weight, salary, car, home, etc. \u2013 focus on what you want to\u00a0experience\u00a0<\/em>in the relationship, instead.\u00a0 Put your thoughts and intentions into how you want to feel<\/em> in the relationship.\u00a0 This way, when you are out with a man, you are focused on\u00a0you<\/em><\/strong>, instead of him.\u00a0 This also allows you to be open to meeting and getting to know more men, so that you increase your chances of meeting the right one.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>If you are in a relationship, you can begin to let go of all of the expectations that are having you complain about, criticize, and trying to change your man. Instead, you can shift your focus from feeling disappointed to getting present to and appreciating the man he is and the qualities about him that had you fall in love with him in the first place!\u00a0 It also means learning the feminine skill of saying what would make you happy, rather than pointing out all of the things that don\u2019t!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Many of these skills and practices don\u2019t come easily to an independent woman, because it requires letting go of being in complete control and managing everything on your own. \u00a0It means being okay with uncertainty and imperfection.\u00a0 It means acknowledging just how much you really do want to share your life with a man who will love and adore you, celebrate and share your success.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>But these skills are<\/strong><\/span> necessary if you want to create a loving, intimate, passionate relationship where you get to be authentic with yourself and experience the love you truly want!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>That\u2019s why Michelle and I created\u00a0<\/span>The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event<\/a><\/strong>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/span>We are committed to equipping\u00a0successful women with the skills that will empower you to have\u00a0the loving relationship you want.<\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to settle for less than you truly want and deserve.\u00a0 You really CAN have it ALL! And we want to show you how!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>During this 3-day immersive-learning event, you will discover:<\/span><\/p>\n