{"id":5535,"date":"2017-09-22T15:16:39","date_gmt":"2017-09-22T15:16:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/?p=5535"},"modified":"2017-10-01T04:05:27","modified_gmt":"2017-10-01T04:05:27","slug":"how-to-step-out-of-fear-and-into-your-power","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/how-to-step-out-of-fear-and-into-your-power\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Step Out of Fear and Into Your Power!"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a quick question for you:<\/span><\/p>\n

Have you ever felt helpless? <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!<\/span><\/p>\n

And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all<\/em>!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks \u2013 between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma \u2013have been a bit challenging<\/em>, to say the least.<\/span><\/p>\n

(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately \u2013 know that you are in Michelle\u2019s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.<\/em>)<\/span><\/p>\n

Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:<\/span><\/p>\n

What do I do?<\/em><\/span>
\n Have I done enough?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

How long will this last?
\nWill we be okay?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What\u2019s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don\u2019t only come up around nature\u2019s storms.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

You feel them during life\u2019s storms, too.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re going through a breakup…<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…<\/p>\n

When you see your relationship is falling apart…<\/p>\n

Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So, what can you do during life\u2019s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. Stay present.<\/strong><\/span> I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because fear is always a \u201cfuture experience.\u201d\u00a0 While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s more, fear is never \u201creal.\u201d It is only ever an imagined thought<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, hear me out on this.\u00a0 Am I saying that what you fear will never happen? <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

No.<\/span><\/p>\n

What I am <\/em>saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and\/or are anxious about isn\u2019t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment.\u00a0 Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future<\/em>.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening<\/u>.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

This practice is life-changing<\/span>.<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness \u2013 and love \u2013 from making its way to you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less<\/u>!\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

As I said: Life<\/em>-Changing!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. Focus on what you CAN<\/span> control.<\/strong> <\/span>During the storm, there were many things I could not control \u2013 the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.<\/p>\n

Similarly, during life\u2019s storms, there are things you can\u2019t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.<\/span><\/p>\n

When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered.\u00a0 You are not at the mercy of the storm.\u00a0 Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. Ask for and receive<\/em> help.<\/strong> \u00a0<\/span>This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women.\u00a0 You\u2019re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you\u2019re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own.\u00a0 You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, quite the opposite is true!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help.\u00a0 It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out.\u00a0 What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!<\/span><\/p>\n

I heard responses like, \u201cI\u2019m used to toughing things out<\/em>,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m okay with sacrificing,\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t worry about me. I\u2019ll figure something out\u201d <\/em>\u2013 even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!<\/span><\/p>\n

And so many powerful women do the same thing<\/em> during life\u2019s storms!\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t reach out for help or support so that you won\u2019t seem weak.<\/span><\/p>\n

You believe that struggling and \u201csuffering\u201d through the heartache is somehow \u201cnoble\u201d or makes you stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n

You deny help and support because you feel as if you \u201cshould be able to figure this \u2018relationship thing\u2019 out on my own.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist \u2013 many times for much longer<\/em> than is necessary \u2013 when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what you<\/em> really<\/u> want.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no honor or glory in unnecessary<\/span> martyrdom or sacrificing.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Life\u2019s storms will<\/strong> come. You don\u2019t have much choice in that\u2026 That part\u2019s not “optional.”<\/span><\/p>\n

What you can<\/u> choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

What is<\/u> optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know what my choice is!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz I have a quick question for you: Have you ever felt helpless? It\u2019s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world! And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all! So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks \u2013 between prepping for, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5537,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,6,10,11,16,17,21,22,24],"tags":[34,37,47,50,56,57,58,59,68,70,86,87,92],"class_list":["post-5535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-breakups","category-dating-2","category-hearts-desire-international","category-heartache","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice","category-self-love-2","tag-arguments","tag-breakups","tag-dating","tag-empowerment","tag-happiness","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-heartbreak","tag-hope","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-self-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5535"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5535\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5537"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}