{"id":650,"date":"2012-09-07T15:32:14","date_gmt":"2012-09-07T15:32:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintlblog.wordpress.com\/?p=650"},"modified":"2017-02-28T18:00:41","modified_gmt":"2017-02-28T18:00:41","slug":"can-you-hear-that-its-his-heart-message","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/can-you-hear-that-its-his-heart-message\/","title":{"rendered":"Can You Hear That? It’s His Heart Message!"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This past weekend, my family and I went on a mini-vacation.\u00a0 During the weekend, I periodically checked my email, texts and Facebook.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t doing it to ignore or upset my husband or because I wasn\u2019t enjoying the time I was spending with my family. It was partly out of \u201chabit,\u201d and primarily because I hate falling behind and having a ton of \u201cstuff\u201d to sort through when I return to the office after taking a few days off.<\/p>\n

I had forgotten my phone in our vacation home when we left for the pool and went back to get it so that I could take some pictures of my husband and the boys. While sitting in a lounge chair by the pool, I read an email from a friend that I felt needed to be addressed right away, so I responded and forwarded a text message to some of my other friends who I thought could help.\u00a0 I think that was the last drop in the proverbial bucket for my husband, who asked very exasperatedly, \u201cOh, is that<\/strong> why you needed to go get the phone?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

His tone caught me off-guard, and, before I knew it, I immediately went into defense mode and said, \u201cI didn\u2019t say anything<\/em> to you<\/em> when you<\/em> went for a jog by yourself<\/em> this morning!\u201d<\/p>\n

What?!? \u00a0Did I really just go <\/em>there<\/em><\/strong>?<\/em><\/p>\n

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized how unloving and disrespectful I sounded!<\/p>\n

Where is that blasted \u201cRewind Life\u201d button when I need it most?<\/em><\/p>\n

He then began to tell me that I had been emailing, texting, and Facebooking all weekend, and that we\u2019d barely had a conversation.\u00a0 He said I was doing it when I was walking, standing in line, and sitting in the car.\u00a0 I wanted to respond that he was \u201cwrong\u201d and that I was an adult and did not need someone telling me when I could and could not communicate with the outside world.\u00a0 I wanted to defend myself some more and point out how he<\/em> had been watching a show on Netflix every spare moment he<\/em> had and how I<\/em> was trying to help a friend, and\u2026 Well, I just really wanted to be right<\/em> and prove that I wasn\u2019t the only one doing something \u201cwrong.\u201d\u00a0 But, thankfully, this time, I chose to stop before speaking and that pause allowed me to listen to the heart message behind <\/em>his words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Behind his complaints and my perceived attempts at him trying to control me, I was able to hear my husband saying, \u201cI just want to spend time with you.\u201d\u00a0 When I took a moment to step aside (and hold my tongue), I was able to hear this message loud and clear!\u00a0 I\u2019ll be honest.\u00a0 Part of me still wanted to be \u201cright,\u201d so I told him what was happening with my friend, and he immediately understood, which just let me see (again)\u00a0 just what an amazing <\/em>and compassionate man he is (more<\/em> heart message!).<\/p>\n

In the next moment I had a clear choice.\u00a0 I could either choose to \u201cprove\u201d my independence and continue doing what I was doing, or I could choose intimacy, honor the heart message I was hearing, and having fun with my family.\u00a0 I chose to put aside my need to be right, put down my phone, , and jump in the pool with him and the boys.\u00a0 I apologized to my husband for the way I had snapped at him and for not being present during our family time.\u00a0 And we had a great time on the rest of our vacation.<\/p>\n

Intimacy restored!<\/p>\n

Sometimes, when our boyfriend or spouse \u201ccomplains,\u201d it may be that he\u2019s trying to get our attention or point out something that he wants to communicate.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to go into \u201cdefense mode\u201d and point out where he<\/em> is making mistakes, too.\u00a0 But, if intimacy is what is important to us, then we need to be intentional about choosing it!<\/p>\n

I could have remained righteous, ignored his complaint and kept doing what I was doing.\u00a0 I always have that choice. But, for me, having intimacy in my marriage and being happy is more important than being right.\u00a0 And rather than waste precious time together (between arguing, the cold war that comes afterwards, and then that awkward period of figuring out whether or not \u201cwe\u2019re okay again\u201d), I chose to listen to the heart message behind<\/em> the message he was sending. And, because of that, I got to experience what I really <\/em>wanted, which was a fun, joyful, and peaceful time with the man I love and the two little guys we created together!<\/p>\n

To me, that connection<\/em> is<\/em> what it\u2019s all about!<\/p>\n

So, what about you?\u00a0 What do you do when it\u2019s time to choose between being right or being happy? We\u2019d love to read your comments!<\/p>\n

photo credit: Camdiluv \u2665<\/a> via photo pin<\/a> cc<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz This past weekend, my family and I went on a mini-vacation.\u00a0 During the weekend, I periodically checked my email, texts and Facebook.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t doing it to ignore or upset my husband or because I wasn\u2019t enjoying the time I was spending with my family. It was partly out of \u201chabit,\u201d and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,9,16,17,21,22,23],"tags":[42,47,63,68,70,88],"class_list":["post-650","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-hdi-blog","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-communication","tag-dating","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=650"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=650"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=650"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=650"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}