{"id":7617,"date":"2018-05-31T02:57:30","date_gmt":"2018-05-31T02:57:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/?p=7617"},"modified":"2018-05-31T03:01:38","modified_gmt":"2018-05-31T03:01:38","slug":"how-to-get-over-your-fear-of-getting-hurt-in-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/how-to-get-over-your-fear-of-getting-hurt-in-love\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Over Your Fear of Getting Hurt in Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

This past weekend I took my kids ice-skating. I know\u2026 It was supposed to be the first weekend of summer, but the nonstop rain in Florida totally washed out any plans to spend a long weekend at the beach, so we went for Plan B.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always interesting to me how those first few seconds on the ice can feel so vulnerable. While I have been ice skating before, I\u2019m no pro. As I stepped out onto the slippery ice, I felt as if my feet had minds of their own. Even though I wanted to stand still, my feet were slipping back and forth under me. While I wanted to glide carefree on the ice, I was grabbing onto the barrier wall for dear life.<\/p>\n

The loud little\u00a0voice in my head kept repeating:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t fall! Whatever you do, don\u2019t fall!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I kept looking at the kids who were racing around the rink \u2014 seemingly fearlessly \u2014 and all I was focusing on was\u00a0\u201cDon\u2019t fall!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Every muscle in my body was committed to not slipping, falling, and hurting myself on that ice. It was hard to relax and enjoy myself when all my attention was on making sure I stayed upright!<\/p>\n

Even when I eventually did move away from the wall and started skating a little faster, the thought of not falling and getting hurt remained my top priority.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s how it can be when it comes to love and relationships once you\u2019ve been hurt.<\/p>\n

You try to go through the motions, doing what you think you\u2019re supposed to do, pretending you and your heart are open to welcoming and receiving love, but through it all, your mind is focused on:\u00a0\u201cDon\u2019t get hurt!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

So, you try to relax. You try to enjoy the date or the time with your partner, but, in the background, every fiber of your being is looking for signs of danger \u2014 signs that you might get hurt again.<\/p>\n

Now, of course it\u2019s natural not to want to get hurt. But when your main focus is on not getting hurt, \u00a0few things happen:<\/strong><\/p>\n