{"id":7624,"date":"2018-06-02T16:50:34","date_gmt":"2018-06-02T16:50:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/?p=7624"},"modified":"2018-06-02T16:59:13","modified_gmt":"2018-06-02T16:59:13","slug":"is-unconditional-love-b-s-or-is-it-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/is-unconditional-love-b-s-or-is-it-real\/","title":{"rendered":"Is “Unconditional Love” B.S., or is it Real?"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me ask you…<\/p>\n

What is the most important thing to you, when it comes to romantic relationships?<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like the majority of the women, you\u2019re answer is probably something like,\u00a0\u201cI want to be with someone who loves and accepts me exactly the way I am.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Not too much to ask for, right?<\/p>\n

Who\u00a0doesn\u2019t<\/em>\u00a0want to be fully loved and accepted?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The problem is that, while many people\u00a0say\u00a0<\/em>they want to be unconditionally loved, not all of them are BEing unconditionally loving.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t believe me?\u00a0 Have you ever said something like this about your partner:<\/p>\n

\u201cIf only he would ______, THEN we could be happy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Or, what about:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only reason we\u2019re not happy is because he ____.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Listen, I know there are things about your partner you may not like.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been with my husband for 19 years.\u00a0I love him with all my heart\u2026\u00a0AND<\/em>\u2026 there are things he does that I don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For years, I tried to convince, encourage, and persuade him to be less angry, more peaceful, less negative, and more positive.<\/p>\n

I read him articles and book excerpts, I gave tons of unsolicited advice.\u00a0 Heck, I even took him with me to course, saying that it was \u201cfor us,\u201d and then we weren\u2019t allowed to even sit together for 3 full days!<\/p>\n

On the way home, in the middle of an argument about the course, we stopped at a red light.\u00a0 He turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and said,\u00a0\u201cWhen are you going to stop trying to fix and change me?\u00a0 I haven\u2019t changed.\u00a0<\/em>THIS\u00a0is who you married.\u00a0<\/em>THIS\u00a0is who you promised to love!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

In the moment, I wanted to say,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not trying to fix and change you!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I wish I could have, but I couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

He was right.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All of the \u201chelpful\u201d suggestions, videos, books, and courses I would share with him were because I wanted him to change so that we could be happy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

What I didn\u2019t realize is that with every suggestion, paragraph, and quote I shared, I was sending the man I promised to love forever the message that I didn\u2019t truly love and accept him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thanks to that\u2026um\u2026 \u201cconversation,\u201d I realized what I was doing and the impact it was having on my marriage.\u00a0 Shortly after, I began focusing all of my reading, studying, and coursework on learning how I could be more loving and accepting.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I took the focus off of him and put it all onto becoming the best version of me.<\/p>\n

I began learning how to say what I thought, felt, and wanted in a way that focused on me and my needs, and not on what he wasn\u2019t doing to meet them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I started really listening to my husband and seeking to understand him and his viewpoints and opinions.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And something AMAZING happened!<\/p>\n

In a few short months, we were laughing again.<\/p>\n

He was being more positive and peaceful.<\/p>\n

We were barely arguing.<\/p>\n

And the romance and fun was back in our marriage!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Who knew that focusing on ME would inspire HIM to change?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

(By the way, those are\u00a0HIS<\/em>\u00a0words, not mine!)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what you are going through in your marriage, but if you are tired of telling your husband what he needs to do or do differently, how he needs to change, and all of the reasons why he\u2019s responsible for your unhappiness,\u00a0AND<\/u>\u00a0you want to change that dynamic to one where there is really unconditional love and happiness in the relationship, then wouldn\u2019t it make sense to figure out how to do that?<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Wouldn\u2019t it be worth it\u00a0to learn how to easily turn arguing and the \u201cme vs. you\u201d dynamic in the relationship into truly connecting and into a \u201cyou and me\u201d dynamic?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If that\u2019s what you want for yourself and your relationship, then CLICK HERE<\/a><\/span> and share with me what the biggest challenge you are facing in your relationship is.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I promise to respond to your message and give you some real next steps you can take to start turning your relationship around so that you can finally have the happy, loving, peaceful relationship you really want!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to go through years of making the same mistakes I made.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s figure out what you can do to make your relationship the kind of happy, unconditionally loving relationship you\u2019ve always wanted!<\/p>\n

CLICK HERE!<\/strong><\/a><\/span> I’m here to help!<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t have to be hard. I\u00a0promise<\/em><\/strong>!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz Let me ask you… What is the most important thing to you, when it comes to romantic relationships? If you\u2019re like the majority of the women, you\u2019re answer is probably something like,\u00a0\u201cI want to be with someone who loves and accepts me exactly the way I am.\u201d Not too much to ask […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7628,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,10,11,13,16,17,22],"tags":[31,42,56,57,58,59,63,68,70,87,105],"class_list":["post-7624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication-2","category-hearts-desire-international","category-heartache","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship-advice","tag-advice","tag-communication","tag-happiness","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-heartbreak","tag-hope","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationship-advice-2","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7624"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7624\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}