{"id":803,"date":"2012-09-28T20:20:30","date_gmt":"2012-09-28T20:20:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintlblog.wordpress.com\/?p=713"},"modified":"2017-02-28T18:51:31","modified_gmt":"2017-02-28T18:51:31","slug":"breaking-through-a-broken-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/breaking-through-a-broken-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking Through a Broken Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"

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One of the best parts of working with women as a relationship coach is being able to celebrate with them when they experience a breakthrough.\u00a0 By definition, a breakthrough is when you move beyond where you usually stop yourself \u2013 because of your reasons, excuses, doubts or fears \u2013 and take an action that is a victory over the past.<\/p>\n

While a lot of the women who work with Heart\u2019s Desire are looking to learn the skills and habits that will help them take their lives and relationships to the next level, many of them come to us in moments of \u201ccrisis.\u201d\u00a0 This usually means that they have just suffered a breakup, separation, or divorce and are looking for support in getting through it, or they are on the brink of a divorce and are looking for that \u201clast thing\u201d they can do to help turn their relationship around.<\/p>\n

Are you one of those women?\u00a0 Are you tired of the tears, the frustration, and the loneliness? Are you willing to be courageous and take a journey within?\u00a0 Do you know someone who could use support?\u00a0 If so, read on and share this message with them!<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not \u201ceasy\u201d reaching out for help, especially when it comes to relationships.\u00a0 It takes something to be willing to turn the mirror around, look at it and ask yourself, “What else can I <\/strong>do \u2013 even if he says he is not willing to try anymore ?\u201d <\/em>No, this is far <\/em><\/strong>from being easy.\u00a0 And, yet, the women we work with \u2013 these courageous, powerful, strong women \u2013 are willing to be vulnerable; to accept where they\u2019ve been responsible in having the relationship get to the point where it is; and to take new, bold, and courageous actions that lead to incredible breakthroughs! It\u2019s inspiring, and I never take for granted the trust that my clients put in me when they open up their hearts to the possibility of transforming themselves and their relationships.<\/p>\n

So, what can you do if you are experiencing trouble in your relationship?<\/p>\n

1. Stop wishing and hoping for change.<\/strong>\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how many times I receive calls and emails from women who share with me that they have been experiencing problems in their marriage for years<\/em> \u2013 some of them since before<\/em> they got married.\u00a0 Research shows that most people wait six years <\/em>before they seek out help for their relationship, even when all the signs have been pointing to the fact that there is \u201ctrouble.\u201d There is this popular misconception that problems in relationships are \u201cjust a phase\u201d and that \u201cthis, too, shall pass.\u201d\u00a0 While I agree that everything \u2013 even problems \u2013 is temporary, just sitting around, hoping and waiting that something will \u201cmagically\u201d change, without putting in some intentional work is not only unrealistic, but it\u2019s instrumental in the gradual decay of an intimate relationship.\u00a0 Acknowledge that where your relationship is is not where you want it to be.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Things can and will <\/em>get better once you begin to work on it!<\/p>\n

2. Take a Look in the Mirror.<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s true that \u201cIt takes two to tango\u201d and that a relationship is made up of twopeople.\u00a0 It\u2019s also true that you can\u2019t control what he says, does, or believes, and that trying to do that will only lead to more distance, resentment, and friction in the relationship.\u00a0 The only thing in this entire world that you can control 100% is YOU \u2013 your thoughts, words, actions, and reactions.\u00a0 So, rather than looking for all of the things that he <\/em>could be doing differently or that he <\/em>has done in the past to get the relationship to where it is now, be willing to look within to see where you can own the part that you\u2019ve played and where you are willing to make changes.<\/p>\n

3. Reach out for support.<\/strong>\u00a0 As I mentioned, before, it can be scary to admit that things are not well in the relationship and to be vulnerable enough to share that with someone.\u00a0 Now, you want to be really selective of who you tell.\u00a0 The last thing you need is for people who do not believe in or who are not standing for the restoration of your relationship to be giving you \u201cadvice.\u201d Many times, people, although well-intentioned, will give you advice based on their own experiences and fears, rather than on proven-to-work skills and habits that lead to healing and transformation.\u00a0 Seek out happily married women whose relationships you admire and ask them for support as you begin the journey to restoring your marriage or relationship.\u00a0 Seek out a relationship coach who, rather than giving you \u201ctherapy\u201d or \u201ccounseling,\u201d will equip you with practical skills you can begin implementing right away so that you can begin to experience immediate results.<\/p>\n

4. Be willing to breakthrough!\u00a0 <\/strong>Many times, the coaching and advice you receive is going to sound \u201cforeign\u201d or \u201cunnatural.\u201d Why? Because it will take you to the brink of your comfort zone and require you to consider things you haven\u2019t considered, take actions you haven\u2019t taken, and adopt new thoughts and beliefs.\u00a0 Your natural \u201csurvival instinct\u201d will most likely kick in, telling you you\u2019re being \u201ctoo vulnerable,\u201d taking too much of a risk, and that \u201cit\u2019s not working.\u201d It didn\u2019t take a day to get to where your relationship is now, so it will likely take longer than a day to turn things around.\u00a0 And, if you want to experience different results, you\u2019re going to need to take different actions, right?\u00a0 So, be willing to feel afraid, uncertain, and vulnerable.\u00a0 And do it anyway<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s what your coach is there for: to encourage, support and help you through those times of uncertainty.\u00a0 Remember, it\u2019s in that space right beyond our comfort zone that miracles happen!\u00a0 So, go ahead! Create and step into your own miracle!<\/p>\n

Being willing to take on the transformation of your relationship can seem daunting, and it may seem like too much work and too much risk without an iron-clad guarantee that you\u2019ll see results.\u00a0 However, I can guarantee one thing for sure: If you are willing and courageous enough to take the journey within, to focus on transforming your own behaviors and attitudes, and to do the work, you will also reap the rewards: The confidence that comes with knowing that you are becoming the BEST version of yourself; the peace that comes with knowing that you are only trying to control that which is within your power; and the joy of seeing your relationship transform before your very eyes!\u00a0 And, that, my friends, is worth doing whatever it takes!<\/em><\/p>\n

Do you have questions or comments regarding this article, please share them below!\u00a0 We love hearing from you!<\/p>\n

Photo credit: Rachel_titiriga<\/a> via photopin.com<\/a> cc<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the best parts of working with women as a relationship coach is being able to celebrate with them when they experience a breakthrough.\u00a0 By definition, a breakthrough is when you move beyond where you usually stop yourself \u2013 because of your reasons, excuses, doubts or fears \u2013 and take an action that is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,9,16,17,21,22,23],"tags":[31,37,47,48,57,58,63,68,70,88,90,93,105],"class_list":["post-803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-hdi-blog","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-advice","tag-breakups","tag-dating","tag-divorce","tag-hearts-desire-international","tag-heartbreak","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationships","tag-romance-2","tag-separation","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=803"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=803"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=803"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=803"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}