{"id":876,"date":"2012-10-26T09:00:55","date_gmt":"2012-10-26T13:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heartsdesireintl.wordpress.com\/?p=876"},"modified":"2012-10-26T09:00:55","modified_gmt":"2012-10-26T13:00:55","slug":"your-hearts-desire-thought-of-the-day-keep-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/your-hearts-desire-thought-of-the-day-keep-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Heart’s Desire Thought of the Day: Keep Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz<\/span><\/p>\n

\"holding<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cLove creates an us without destroying a me.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

~ Author Unknown<\/i><\/p>\n

Perhaps one of the biggest temptations we face when we first begin dating someone we really like is wanting to spend every possible moment with that person.\u00a0 When we\u2019re not physically together, we want to be on the phone, talking, hearing their voice, and basking in the knowledge that they want to be with us just as much as we want to be with them.\u00a0 It really is such a wonderful phase in a relationship, and it\u2019s normal to want to soak up as much of that happiness as possible.<\/p>\n

The problem, however, comes in when we make the other person our sole focus, and we begin to neglect or forget about the things and people in our lives who we love and enjoyed prior to becoming part of \u201ca couple.\u201d \u00a0Perhaps we stop practicing self-care<\/a>, going to the, gym, spending time with family, going out with our girlfriends, and engaging in the hobbies and activities that we have always enjoyed.\u00a0 This can also lead to us becoming very \u201cclingy\u201d and dependent upon the other person to make us feel happy, because we are no longer taking responsibility for doing the things that bring us pleasure and joy.\u00a0 And, as we saw in yesterday\u2019s blog post<\/a>, practicing good-self care by doing at least 3 things for ourselves that bring us pleasure and make us feel good is essential to creating our own happiness and having the patience and energy that it\u2019s going to take to make the relationship work!<\/p>\n

I fell into this trap myself when I first started dating my husband.\u00a0 I guess you could say ours was a whirlwind romance.\u00a0 From the night we met, to the next night (when we spoke on the phone for 7 hours) to the following night when we went on our first date, this was it!\u00a0 We were inseparable! And, without really noticing it, I began letting go of the activities, people, and practices that were so important to me.\u00a0 The fact that I was traveling for work 75% of the time also had something to do with wanting to spend as much time with him as possible, but it wasn\u2019t until a few years into our marriage that I began to feel resentful about it. I felt like I had \u201clost\u201d a part of myself and I was angry at my husband because I felt that I had changed in order for him to love me.\u00a0 And, it was impacting our relationship.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll never forget the day that I told him, \u201cI just feel like you suck the joy out of everything I love and enjoy.\u201d (Talk about \u201cOuch\u201d!)<\/p>\n

The weird part of all this?\u00a0 He<\/i> never asked me to give up the things I loved and enjoyed!<\/i> I<\/i><\/b> made that choice myself<\/i> and I was holding it against him<\/i>!\u00a0 The resentment I felt was displaced.\u00a0 I was really upset with myself for not honoring those things that made me feel happy, peaceful, and confident \u2013 the things that made me feel like \u201cme\u201d\u2026 The \u201cme\u201d he fell in love with in the first place!<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until I began focusing on my own personal growth, practicing self-care, and doing the things that I enjoyed and was passionate about, that I started becoming \u201cme\u201d again.\u00a0 A newer, fresher version of me.\u00a0 And that<\/i> had a very positive impact on our relationship!\u00a0 I was no longer blaming and making my husband responsible for my happiness or<\/i>\u00a0 my unhappiness. I was taking responsibility for my own happiness, and that joy spilled over into every area of my life, including my family, friendships, and career!<\/p>\n

Transitioning from being single to being in a relationship is a wonderful experience, and, yes, you want to relish in it and receive and enjoy the new-found love!\u00a0 You deserve it! However, just remember to stay true to yourself and who you really are.\u00a0 That\u2019s<\/i> who you want him to fall in love with anyway, right?\u00a0 The key to creating a wonderful relationship where you get to create an \u201cus\u201d without losing yourself is to keep your life, even though he\u2019s in it!<\/p>\n

Are there some areas of your life that you used to enjoy that you\u2019ve let go of simply because you are in a relationship?\u00a0 If so, consider breathing life back into that hobby, friendship, or passion you once had. You and <\/i>your relationship will both benefit!<\/p>\n

Photo credit: ginnerobot<\/a> via photopin.com<\/a> cc<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gladys Diaz \u201cLove creates an us without destroying a me.\u201d ~ Author Unknown Perhaps one of the biggest temptations we face when we first begin dating someone we really like is wanting to spend every possible moment with that person.\u00a0 When we\u2019re not physically together, we want to be on the phone, talking, hearing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,8,9,13,16,17,21,22,23],"tags":[31,47,63,68,70,88,90],"class_list":["post-876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-2","category-gratitude-2","category-hdi-blog","category-intimacy-2","category-love-2","category-marriage","category-relationship","category-relationship-advice","category-romance","tag-advice","tag-dating","tag-intimacy","tag-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-relationships","tag-romance-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=876"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/876\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartsdesireintl.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}