[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.27.4″]<\/p>\n
by Gladys Diaz\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n What do your conversations with your partner look and feel like?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When you share what you want or feel with your partner, do you think you\u2019re communicating <\/i>effectively, but he n gets defensive or doesn\u2019t understand what you\u2019re really <\/i>trying to say?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Do you want to know how to communicate what you want and feel in a way that your partner can receive and hear it?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes, learning how to communicate effectively in relationships can feel like you\u2019re learning a whole new language. This is because we\u2019ve been conditioned that \u201cbeing honest\u201d or \u201csharing how we feel\u201d means we have to complain or say what we want in an ineffective way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n For example, let\u2019s say you feel like your partner doesn\u2019t do enough around the house. You say things like, \u201cIt\u2019d be nice if I could get some help around here!\u201d<\/i> or \u201cI never get any help!<\/i>\u201d or \u201cI always have to do everything myself.<\/i>\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And then… he doesn\u2019t do anything different.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n You\u2019re confused, because you think<\/i> you expressed your needs and hoping your partner will feel motivated and inspired to help.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n But he isn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n This was going on in my relationship with Ric years ago, and it was frustrating!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I felt like I was asking for help, but nothing was changing in his behavior.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Why wasn\u2019t he responding the way I wanted him to?!<\/span><\/p>\n The answer is because I wasn\u2019t communicating effectively.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n One day I said distinctly, \u201cI need help.<\/i>\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n What was his response?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you need help with?<\/i>\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I honestly didn\u2019t know what to say, because it never occurred to me that it could be that easy<\/i>.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n No nagging… no complaining\u2026 just \u201cI need help!\u201d<\/p>\n And then he offered\u00a0 to take on a few of the things I didn\u2019t feel I could do alone.\u00a0<\/p>\n Wow!\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n I got the result I wanted simply from changing the way I was communicating and being distinct and clear about what I wanted.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n <\/b><\/p>\n He wanted to help me, he just needed to be able to hear what I was saying without the \u201cstatic\u201d of complaints, reasons, and justifications for it. .\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n When communicating what you want with your partner, make sure you use short, distinct comments that clearly state what you want.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI want to go for a walk.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want to do these dishes right now.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n Clearly stating what you want allows the other person to hear you.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n It really is that simple.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Another important part of communicating effectively in a relationship is making sure your intention for the conversation is clear and that you let go of any attachment to how the other person may respond.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n Intention is the umbrella under which the conversation happens, and it\u2019s the compass that guides it.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n Your reason for communicating can\u2019t be about trying to get the other person to do or say something. It has to be 100% about saying what you want to say in order to stay in alignment with what is true for you, regardless of how he may react.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Be very careful with this ,because your ego will try and get in the way.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Be honest with yourself and make sure your emotions are in a place where your pure intention is\u00a0 to create what you want — love, peace and connection vs being right or getting an apology.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n If you\u2019re not clear about what you want to say and why, postpone the conversation until you are.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n Ineffective communication is the #1 breakdown in relationships, and mastering how you can create the kind of relationship you want to create is the key to success. If you\u2019d like support in seeing how you can create more clarity and impact through your communication, book a call with us now!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n