by Michelle Roza
“If there are all these great guys out there, WHERE THE HECK ARE THEY?”
This is a question we hear all the time….
Case in point, we have a client who just got engaged, and when she first came to us she said the exact same thing, “Where are all the high-quality men and how can I find them? Is it too much to ask to just find a GOOD man?”
You may think that good men don’t exist because you can’t seem to find someone who is actually interested in having a long-term relationship. Or maybe you’ve even considered moving to another city because good men don’t live in yours.
Well guess what?
Don’t pack your bags just yet, because it’s not about any of that.
It’s actually about who you are, who you’re attracting, and what you want to experience in a relationship.
If you’re feeling resigned, cynical, or frustrated about dating, it’s only because you’re not having a good experience and not getting the results you desire, NOT because what you want doesn’t exist.
Think about it…
If you were meeting a lot of great, commitment-minded men who were going out of their way to make you smile… would you be feeling this cynical about dating?
NO! You’d be excited, enthusiastic, and looking forward to your next date!
So… how do you start attracting really great men?
- Start paying attention to the INSIDE factors, because that’s what actually matters.
What are the inside factors?
Your beliefs. What do you believe about men? About love? About relationships?
Here’s the thing… Your brain is always looking for evidence that it is right. So, here’s the fact of the matter: If you believe that all men are liars, and you walk into a room full of men, you WILL either attract or be attracted to the ONE man in the room who’s dishonest, because your brain is always searching for that evidence.
So, if you want to start experiencing something different, then you’ve got to change your beliefs.
How do I do this?
Look for the patterns that are showing up in your dating and relationships. Close your eyes and take a close look at the last three or four dating experiences or relationships you’ve had and take an honest inventory of what showed up. I promise you, you’ll start to see patterns, and in those patterns is where your beliefs will reveal themselves.
I was in a 12-year marriage – it wasn’t a healthy relationship, and it ended in divorce. My ex-husband was constantly in and out of work, so I was working 3 jobs to help ends meet. That left me feeling exhausted, frustrated, and resentful.
After that, I had a HUGE belief around men being unreliable and relationships with men being insecure and unstable.
So, guess what kept showing up in my dating life? Men who were insecure and unstable. They were either out of work or workaholics, alcoholics or addicted to some kind of drug, or men who were not available (in or just getting out of a relationship) and not interested in having a committed relationship.
I was attracting broken men because I felt that there was something inside of me that was broken, and I was looking for people that were experiencing the same thing.
When I started doing the HeartWork and began recognizing my own patterns and what I was creating because of them, things started to shift.
That’s why the next step is…
- Be COMMITTED to doing the HeartWork.
Stop waiting to feel “ready” or “motivated” to do your HeartWork.
If you knew that on the other side of the HeartWork was the man of your dreams, would you need to motivate yourself to do the HeartWork?
I guarantee the answer is “No!”
We only have to motivate ourselves to the things that we are resisting. So… if you’re finding yourself thinking that you need to motivate yourself to date…what are you resisting?
Be honest with yourself.
You may believe it’s going to be hard, that it won’t work, that you don’t know how…. just to name a possible few! That’s because humans have trained ourselves and our brains for comfort, and we resist anything that perceive as hard, uncomfortable or confusing.
But take a good honest look at yourself and your current feelings about love and dating, because in the answer to the question of what you are resisting is a fear that you haven’t uncovered yet. And it’s this fear that is perpetuating the patterns you uncovered in the exercise above.
Once I got – I mean, REALLY got – that I was a high-quality woman, that I mattered, and felt comfortable being myself, I didn’t need to motivate myself to date, I was MOVED and inspired to date.
I was passionate about attracting the man of my dreams! I believed 100% that it was possible and ended up attracting multiple GOOD men that I got to CHOOSE from.
And that’s how it will happen for you, too.
Intention is Everything. The good, high-quality men out there are looking for a vibrational match. They are looking for a woman who is alluring and confident, and vivacious.
So, BE that!
And here’s an extra super-ninja tip: Start to NOTICE the good men out there and the good that men are doing in the world.
When you start paying attention and appreciating the good you see in men, you’ll start seeing it all around you. And when this starts to happen to you, you’ll know you are soooo close to attracting your partner.
Why not get there now?
Join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening this weekend – July 27th and 28th – in Miami Lakes, FL. We will be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, heart work that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you are experiencing. And we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Here’s another gift:
My daily prayer is, “If there’s something standing in my way, Lord, please let me see it so I can deal with it.”
We have the same prayer for you.