by Gladys Diaz
I know it’s frustrating…
You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.
You go out and have an amazing time.
You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.
He asks you out on another date… and then another.
Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…
You stop going on line.
You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)
You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)
And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.
I get it.
It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.
And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.
The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.
The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”
Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.
Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.
Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.
The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.
When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.
This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.
This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.
The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.
Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.
Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.
He doesn’t have to ask you out.
And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.
You’re NOT in a relationship.
He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.
Which is why we recommend you do the same!
Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.
You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).
What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.
- You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
- You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
- You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
- And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.
Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.
As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!
If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.
I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!
by Gladys Diaz
Is your life telling you something?
If you want to know, just look at your past and your present.
The lessons we most need tend to repeat themselves until they are finally learned!
And, if you want to know where the patterns of your life begin, just notice your thoughts.
The average human being has between 12,000 and 60,000 each day!
Unfortunately, 80% of those thoughts are negative and 95% of them are the same exact thoughts you had the day before (and sometimes decades before!).
So, if 80% of your thoughts about dating, love, relationships, or your partner are negative, then is it any wonder why you don’t have the kind of loving relationship you desire?
Now, before you start beating yourself up (or deleting this email) because of that last sentence, hear me out.
I know you’re not intentionally choosing to block love from your life.
A lot of these pervasive and repetitive thoughts are happening subconsciously.
Think about how difficult it can be to break a bad habit. Although you know that eating an entire bag of chips while watching TV or procrastinating working on a big project, or not organizing your receipts before tax season are all things that will eventually have a negative consequence, you still eat the chips, spend hours on social media, and telling yourself that you’ll organize those receipts tomorrow.
Or, even though you know that sleeping with a guy too soon rarely turns into a solid, committed relationship and that you’re going to feel hurt, used, and disappointed (again) if you sleep with him, you tell yourself that “This time might be different.” You put aside your boundaries and values for a few moments of pleasure, even thought you know things are probably going to turn out the same way again.
Another example is holding onto a relationship you know is not going anywhere or that is simply not right for you. Even all the signs are pointing to “This is not it,” you keep holding on, hoping things will change, even though you know in your heart of hearts that it won’t.
Why do you do that?
Because the human brain is a creature of habit and you will hold on to what you know – what’s familiar – even though you know it’s stopping you from having the kind of loving relationship and life you really want.
So, the negative consequences reinforce the negative thought patterns, until you start relating to them as “the truth, and eventually find yourself giving up on your dreams.
So, how do you break this vicious cycle?
You learn how to transform your mind so that you can create new results.
You learn how to completely break apart those thought patterns and replace them with new ones – but not simply through “positive thinking” or “positive self-talk.”
You learn how to truly go into your subconscious and uproot the thoughts that have been creating real barriers to you attracting and having the love you want.
Listen to your life. It’s telling you something.
It has been for a while now.
Stop ignoring the signs that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working for you.
You can choose to continue repeating the same thoughts and actions and creating the same results. If you do, there’s a huge chance you’ll regret it and then wonder why things simply never worked out for you.
Or you can choose to break through and break free from anything that’s standing between you and having the love you want.
It’s only in letting go of the past that you can create space in your mind, life, and heart to welcome in new and extraordinary love.
As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
You can have the love you want.
You simply have to let go of what hasn’t worked so that you can have what your heart most desires.
Are you ready to let go of what isn’t working so that you can have the love you want?
If so, click below and schedule time to talk with one of us. We will help you identify what your major Love Barriers have been and give you a step-by-step plan for letting them go so that you can have the love you want!
Click to talk with one of us!
by Gladys Diaz
The Most Important Relationship Skill Nobody’s Taught You
If you’re like most women we know, you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined webinars, and attended courses to learn what it is that it takes to “get a great man” or “get your ex back.”
There is absolutely no shortage of “rules,” tips, tricks, and strategies to “get a man” to choose and love you.
However, the very term of “getting” someone to do something implies that the other person doesn’t want to do the thing you want them to do.
Think about it… If you have to “get” someone to do something, that means that –
- there is something that the other person is resisting
- you are doing all the “hard work”
- there is not a natural flow or ease present – you are having to manipulate or force something to happen in order to get the result you want
I don’t know about you, but when I think about being in love with someone, I don’t want to have to work hard, AND I don’t want to have to force or convince him to want to love me.
So, how do you easily and effortlessly attract a man who can’t resist you and can’t imagine his life without you?
Well, the first thing you do is stop trying so hard to “get” love, and, instead, start tapping into your Irresistible Essence. This is the natural and innate power you have to attract to yourself anything your heart desires – love, prosperity, health – anything.
Due to all of the internal programming you’ve undergone over the course of your life, there are certain things you need to “de-program” or “unlearn” before you can learn the skill of tapping into your Irresistible Essence.
Here are just 2 of the ones that MOST impact strong, successful women:
The Danger of Being Independent
Today, more than ever before in history, women are efficient, capable, and empowered to do and have whatever they want on their own.
We have more opportunities than ever to climb the corporate ladder, have our own businesses, and do work that inspires and fulfills us. No longer does a woman have to depend on a man for her financial stability or survival.
While we still have a way to go when it comes to having true equality, we can’t ignore the signs pointing to the fact that the Dali Lama was correct when he said that the world would be saved by the Western woman.
The downside to this however, is that, inside of discovering that they don’t “need a man” to have the kind of life they want, many women have become so incredibly independent that they have lost touch with their desire to share their lives with a man.
See, there is a big difference between feeling as if you need someone to complete your life and wanting someone to share your amazing life with.
Being so independent that you deny the fact that you want to share your life with a great partner is a form of self-sabotage. While you have some of what you want, you simply won’t feel completely fulfilled if you are denying yourself one of your heart’s desires.
And when this is the case, you actually limit your potential for attracting and manifesting in the other areas of your life, including your career!
The Pretense of Independence
This obsession with being independent also creates a need to pretend to want or not want other things, as well.
For example, please explain why women continue to pretend to want to pay for their half of the bill at the end of a date?
If you’re 100% honest with yourself, you know you don’t want to pay that bill! So why are you reaching for your purse, asking him if he wants you to pay, and then judging him when he says, “Yes”?
Another example: Why do some women feel it’s necessary to pretend that they can do everything themselves?
Look, no one is questioning your ability to care and provide for yourself. No one is questioning that you are a capable, competent woman.
However, just because you are able to do it all yourself, doesn’t mean you have to prove that – especially not in a relationship!
When you are in a relationship, you switch from it being a “me” to a “we.” That doesn’t mean you lose your identity or autonomy. It simply means that, while you probably can do it all on your own, in a relationship, you don’t have to.
Plus, it’s okay to allow a man to court and cherish you. It doesn’t minimize your abilities or competencies. It simply allows you the pleasure of receiving his love, attention, and affection. Why would you want to pretend to not want that?
So, how do you continue being a successful woman AND tap into your Irresistible Essence?
The first step is to tune in and see what some of the fears are around admitting that sharing your life with a great man is something you really want. That takes courage and vulnerability, but as a strong woman, it’s nothing you need to be afraid of. It’s inside of your vulnerability and authenticity that your Irresistible Essence is unleashed!
Yes, embrace your talents, abilities, and successes. Celebrate them! You’ve earned it!
However, remember that, unlike at work, you don’t have to “prove” yourself in order to be loved by the right man. All you need to do is be yourself and allow him the pleasure of getting to know the woman beneath the unstoppable exterior so that he can love that side of you, too!
Without acknowledging the desire to love and be loved and creating space in your life and heart to allow that love to make its way to you, you are actually sabotaging your ability to easily attract it into your life.
And the only way to do that is to acknowledge the desire and then learn how to break down the walls of independence so that you can allow love and partnership to make their way to you.
Being both a strong and independent woman, and a woman who is confident enough to be soft and create an interdependent relationship with a man is empowering and a relationship skill you probably didn’t know you didn’t know.
The irony in this is that it’s one of the most important keys to creating and keeping a happy, loving relationship that fulfills and inspires you for a lifetime!
And, in your heart of hearts, isn’t that what you truly want?
If so, email us and let us know what your vision for having a happy, loving relationship is! We’ll personally respond with what we think your next best steps should be!
by Gladys Diaz
If you’ve invested time and money in personal development and spiritual programs that help you shift your mindset, and you’re still not experiencing significant shifts in your love life or relationship, I want to ask you a few questions.
Before you invested in this mindset program did you:
- Know how to date successfully so that you aren’t wasting your time, love, or energy?
- Get trained in the differences between the male and female brain and how we are wired differently?
- Learn and master proven relationship skills that ensure long-lasting love?
- Master effective communication that allow you to express yourself in a way that has your partner hear and respond to you in a loving way?
- Have the opportunity to consistently practice these new skills so that you mastered them and avoided repeating old, self-sabotaging dysfunctional and painful patterns in your relationship?
If you answered “no” to even two of these questions, then you have the answer as to why you don’t have the kind of love you want.
See, no amount of personal work is going to change what happens in your love life or relationship when you don’t actually know and use the skills that create AND sustain lasting love.
You can be confident, think positively, meditate and pray, speak positive affirmations to yourself, visualize, and plaster your walls with vision boards, and this will only get you so far.
It’s like filling your refrigerator with a bunch of healthy food, joining a gym, and buying a ton of cute workout outfits but never prepping your meals or getting on the treadmill — your body and weight are notgoing to change one bit until you stop thinking and visualizing and start taking COMMITTED ACTION.
The same is true when it comes to your love life.
Thinking positively and visualizing what you want can help you begin to set in motion attracting the relationship you want, AND you still need to have the right skills and know the right steps to take so that you can take the right ACTIONS that give you the results you really want.
Like anything else you have ever accomplished that you became masterful at, having a great relationship requires a specific skill set. It just does.
You simply can’t get there by mindset alone.
Having the right mindset AND skill set are both essential, yet too many women keep trying use one without the other. And it simply doesn’t work.
So here’s the deal: It’s time to get committed to learning what it takes to have a real loving and intimate relationship.
One that fulfills you; has you feeling truly loved, accepted, and supported by a high-quality man; and where you know how to keep the love, passion, and intimacy alive for a lifetime.
Enrollment for our next round of our Ready to Love Again (for single ladies) and Keeping the Love Alive (for women in relationships) is closing soon, and we are inviting women who are seriously committed to transforming themselves and their love lives into the community.
You must be someone who is ready to commit to investing in yourself, be willing to be coachable, and do BOTH the inner work as well as learn and apply the skills that will make this transformation happen for you.
These are the programs where our clients learn how to remove and replace the Love Barriers that have been stopping them from having the love they want.
These programs are where you’ll learn how to combine the mindset work with effective and proven dating (if you’re single) relationship and communication skills that will have you experiencing more fun, love, and ease in your relationship.
These are the programs where so many of our clients FINALLY learn the skills that give them the confidence AND ability have and live in the loving, intimate relationship of their dreams!
And these are the programs where you’ll see why nothing else has worked before.
You’ll permanently remove the barriers that are keeping you stuck and finally have the love, life, and happiness your heart desires!
If you know this is you, then reach out.
We are committed to you having the love you desire and deserve, and if we don’t think the program is a good fit, we’ll be honest and give you some recommendations, but we won’t make you an invitation to join.
We’re not going to “sell” you, and we don’t need to, because we only work with women who we feel are ready for to succeed in the program (and their love lives), and our clients’ results really do speak for themselves.
We’re here to work only with the truly committed woman (in actions, not just words) — the woman who already knows that you’re ready to have the relationship you have been dreaming of, and you’re tired of waiting for it to “just happen,” because you KNOW you’re worthy of and ready to receive it now.
Does that sound like you?
Are you feeling it in your body right now — something that is pulling you forward?
Then let’s talk.
We’ve got limited time on our calendar to speak this week (No, that’s not a marketing tactic. We’re busy, just like you are!), so if you’d like a spot, shoot us an email and tell us a little bit about your love life or relationship and what your challenges are right now.
You’re probably doing a lot of things right now that might help you get the love you want, but you may be focusing on the wrong things or doing them in the wrong order. THIS is what we can help you sort through so that you are moving in the direction of your dreams!
Having the right mindset AND the right skills is the key to succeeding in any area of your life. If you’re truly committed to doing the work to learn BOTH so that you can finally have the happy, loving relationship you have always dreamed of, send us an email and let us know what that looks like for you and what challenges you’re having right now. We’ll set up time to talk and tell you exactly what will make a difference NOW!
If you prefer, you can set up a time to talk by clicking here!
by Gladys Diaz
I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…
Are you still holding onto a past relationship?
The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.
She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.
Now, I want you to know. This is not a “weak woman.”
She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.
Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, let go of the pain, and move forward with her life.
The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to let go of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.
The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.
So, you throw yourself into your work.
You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.
You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.
Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.
You try not to feel.
There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.
However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’t let go of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to let go of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.
If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of letting go of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.
CLICK HERE to take your first step in letting go and moving forward.
On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the letting go process, determine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to let go and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.
It’s time to let go. You know it inside. And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.
The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you. Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!
Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is letting go. If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!