If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

by Gladys Diaz 

“I’m having a hard time sleeping at night.” 

“Focusing during the day feels nearly impossible.” 

“I feel unsettled.” 

“I feel helpless and powerless.” 

These are some of the things we’ve been hearing from women this week. 

Have you been feeling at all similar? 

With what feels like our whole world turned upside down over the last couple of weeks, we want you to know that we are right there with you. We’re living in the same world as you, experiencing the same situations and circumstances that the rest of the world and country are dealing with at this time. 

You truly are not alone.

And, although we may not have much control over our situation or circumstance right now, the thing we do have control over is how we choose to deal with it. 

There is no better time than right now to master your mindset

What does that look like? 

  1. Feel what you need to feel. Mastering your mindset doesn’t look like brushing things under the rug or pretending you don’t feel the way you feel. Acknowledge where you’re at and allow yourself to be there for a minute… Just don’t stay there.
  2. Shift. Ask yourself “What I do so that  I can deal with this in an empowered way?”

For example, maybe you’re feeling like dating is out the window right now. Maybe you’re using COVID-19 as a distraction to stop you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re feeling depressed that you’re finally ready to date, and now you can’t leave your house. 

Did you know that, while 25% of Americans are staying inside their homes right now, Bumble has seen a 23% increase in Seattle and New York (two of the cities that have been hit the hardest and that are being ordered to stay inside).  And those numbers aren’t just reflecting swiping. These are people engaged in conversations. 

Men are saying that they have had such a hard time making the shift to online dating, because they were so afraid of not getting a response, and now it’s all there is, so they are being bolder! We are hearing the most fun stories from our clients who are getting creative with dating — having Facetime dates, grocery store dates, and picnics where they are keeping the 6-foot recommended distance — and moving forward with it anyways. 

Life is still happening. 

Even though we may be stuck inside and getting used to our new normal, life is still happening around us and we can choose to create the things we’ve always wanted now. 

The world is coming together right now. This is the most worldwide impactful event since WWII. 

Yes, there is uncertainty, and, where there is uncertainty, fear will be triggered. 

The thing is…. Humans are resilient.

There’s a reason why we’re still on this earth and dinosaurs aren’t! 

The human spirit has a natural instinct to adapt and keep moving forward, even under the hardest of circumstances. We feel a pull to keep growing and moving forward, no matter what. 

So, what are some things you can do to shift? 

For example, earlier this week, I was having a hard time focusing, so I went outside with my beach chair, a small table, my laptop, my Bible, and my books, and felt an immediate shift

I’ve been taking daily walks that I time precisely so that I can see the sunset.  It’s amazing how such simple things can make such a difference!

And, I’m immersing myself in books, videos, and audios that are focused on empowerment, prosperity, and faith!

Here are some ideas we’ve gotten  from women we’ve been speaking with: 

  • Go for a walk and pick some wildflowers from your neighborhood. 
  • Take extra time to practice self-care – do your own nails, give yourself a facial, light some candles and relax. 
  • Read all the books you never made time to read before! 
  • Pray and meditate. 
  • Listen to positive podcasts. 
  • Cook your favorite foods. 
  • Purge clothes and organize your house. 
  • Dance to your favorite music. 
  • Create a cozy space in your home you can escape to when you need some space. 

Many things may be cancelled, but life is not! 

Another thing that’s not cancelled is having meaningful conversations and connecting with others in creative ways. 

Neither are your dreams. You still get to have the life and love you’ve always wanted.  Don’t let fear or social distancing try to cheat you out of believing that!

If you’d like to talk about how this time can be an opportunity for you, instead of a block, let’s hop on a call and have a conversation about what you can do for yourself and for your dreams right now, regardless of what’s going on around you!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Our prayers for peace are with you. 

Lots of love,

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

From Fear to Faith… are you in?

From Fear to Faith… are you in?

by Gladys Diaz 

How are you doing, love?

We are right there with you in saying that this has been a week to remember. What’s going on in the world is definitely a major interruption in our lives. 

In this moment of uncertainty, how do you not get sucked into fear? 

How can you stay on top of this and see the opportunities it’s bringing?

And we don’t mean in a Pollyanna kind of way,These are hard times. So, how can you stay empowered through them? 

As this week has unfolded, we have talked to clients who are separated from their husbands and don’t know when they will see each other again, mom’s who aren’t being able to find the necessary supplies for their babies, and women who are afraid their opportunities to date are out the window right now. 

No matter your situation, it is 100% okay to have moments of sadness and be with your feelings, but it’s not going to help you to pitch a tent and stay there. Shifting from fear into faith and love will leave you feeling empowered and ready to handle whatever these circumstances are bringing you. 

When it seems that many things are outside of our control, it is helpful to think about the things that you do have control over.

You always have control of your thoughts. 

You always have control of your actions.

Knowing that, it does take a high level of awareness to remember that “this too shall pass” and that we can go on. Here are five things you can remember during this time to help you shift out of fear and into faith. 

  1. You are not in this alone. The entire world is going through this together. You can increase your faith by praying for others and thinking of ways you can serve those who may be having it even a little harder than you. 
  2. Have a gratitude practice. What do you still have? What is the blessing in this? 
  3. Decipher what you do have control over and let go of the things you don’t. Know that you can figure this out and that you will get through this! This is when the HeartWork comes in more important than ever! You get to choose what you want to experience in this moment. You have complete control over that. 
  4. Get creative! There are alternative ways to do things that are great even though it may be different than you’re used to. Online dating is exploding right now! What if you’re one and only just joined? There are still so many ways to connect during this time.  And, if you’re in a relationship, how can you create an at-home date night to help you feel even more connected to your honey?
  5. You have no idea what is on the other side of this, so stay focused on your goals. Think about how this is just the current example of whatever always stops you in your life. This will pass. Who do you want to be when it does?

You can find comfort during this time when you shift out of fear and into faith! You will find so much happiness and peace when you let go of control and shift into the one thing you can control: YOU! 

Let’s start a movement of faith and love! 

We are not in this alone. We are doing this together

How incredible is it  that we are living a moment in history when the whole world is experiencing something together? Think of the kind of impact we can make!

If you’re in, reply to this email “I am in the shift!” 

We can’t wait to hear from you~

And if you’re feeling like you’d love to talk about how this time can be an opportunity for you, instead of a block, let’s hop on a call and have a deep conversation about what’s really been standing in the way of you having the love of your dreams so that you can break through and finally have the love you want and deserve! 

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Everything you desire could be on the other side of this. 

Will you be someone who shifts and makes it happen?

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

If you’re dating, do you constantly fear that no man will stick around, causing you anxiety and stress through the process? 

If you’re in a relationship or married, do you torment yourself with thoughts that he’ll cheat or leave? 

Do you feel like it doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they’re going to stay, you still worry? 

If so, then you most likely have a fear of abandonment. 

And this doesn’t mean that you have a parent that left you… though it might. Any experience of feeling like someone left you, any experience as a child or teenager, can leave you with this fear. 

For me, our Dad died when we were 3 years old. My mom told us that he had “gone to live with the angels” but my little 3-year old brain didn’t understand what that meant. I just wondered what would make my dad leave me? That was the beginning of my abandonment fears. 

Then, when we were 15, we went to live with  other relatives because my mother, who had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and alcoholism (not a good combination!) left. I wondered why my mother didn’t love us? Did she love alcohol more? 

And that fear of separation and abandonment was reinforced. 

Because of those experiences a few behaviors were created. I became very needy. I constantly needed others to validate me and reassure me of their love. I had a need to prove how great I was and often found that in order to do that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was super jealous in relationships and would create unnecessary drama. 

In every relationship, I created one of two things. Either they would leave or I would leave before they could get the chance. 

I was never getting to experience true intimacy in a relationship because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

Can you relate?  

Here’s the thing. High-quality, integritous, confident men will not put up with this in a relationship. No matter how much they love you. If a man constantly feels like you don’t trust him or that he can’t make you happy, it affects his confidence and he will eventually withdraw or leave altogether.

Through your behavior you are actually creating the very thing you fear. 

So how do you overcome this fear before it destroys your relationship? 

  1. Ask yourself – Who am I being in my life and this relationship that has me think that it’s so easy to pick up and leave me?  – Asking yourself this question really opens up for you to explore the responsibility for your behavior. It also will help you to uncover what happened that had you make the decision that you were and will continue to be abandoned. 
  2. Resolve – completely accept the reality of what happened. – For me that was 1. My dad died and 2. My mom needed help and had to leave. Those are the facts. That is the truth without any of my meaning-making behind it. Once you can 100% accept the reality of what happened you can step into your power. 
  3. Dismantle the underlying beliefs. – Once you have uncovered the core belief, where it came from, and resolve it for yourself, you can uncover the other limiting beliefs about yourself. Once I accepted the reality I started to get that I am loveable. I will be okay. I am worth sticking around for. 

And that’s when relationships started to get good. 

Because the truth is… love is not enough. Relationships take love, respect, communication and trust to work. 

So… will you do the HeartWork? And if you need support will you schedule a call with us? Sometimes this is tough work that having  support could make all the difference for you! What if you could liberate yourself from fear and anxiety in your relationships? How much would that be worth to you? 

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Are You Being Used?

Are You Being Used?

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men? 

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear? 

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”? 

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships. 

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief. 

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

  • you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
  • you feel as if you’re being used for sex
  • you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
  • you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up? 

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience. 

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date. 

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.” 

So ask yourself – 

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating? 

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear? 

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here. 

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating… 

  1. Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself? 
  2. Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions? 
  3. Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
  4. Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return? 

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!  

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it. 

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely  in return. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. 

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Are You Ready To Set Your Dreams On Fire?

Are You Ready To Set Your Dreams On Fire?

by Gladys Diaz 

Here we are at the closing of another year, and this year it’s a little bit of a bigger  deal. It’s also the closing of a decade! 

As you look forward to ringing in this new year (and new decade!) let me ask you a question.

And be honest with yourself here. 

Are you where you thought you would be when it comes to love? 

While talking to a woman the other day, she realized that it had been 11 years since she’d been in a relationship. It’s been an entire decade since she experienced love! 

When we think about it in terms of years, it really puts it into perspective doesn’t it?!

Now, I don’t tell you this or ask you the question to depress you or make you feel bad.

I simply know that if the topic of love is important to you (and I know it is, because you’re reading this), then it’s probably something you gave some thought to as you entered into 2019. 

And if you’re not where you thought you would be by now, it’s probably on your mind for 2020.

There is a powerful opportunity for you here to have an honest conversation with yourself about where you are and where you want to go. It matters to you and it gets to happen this decade and even this year!!

I invite you to go through the following exercise, RIGHT NOW! 

Take out a piece of paper and take just a few minutes to answer the questions and think about what you yearn to create. Be crystal-clear about how you feel about what you want. 

I heard recently, “Our actions are our prayers to heaven.” What are your actions saying about what you really truly want? 

New Year, New Decade Personal Inventory Exercise

1. Look at where you thought you’d be. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, where did you think you’d be in December 2019? 

Write it down. Be very clear and as descriptive as possible. 

Did you think you’d be in a committed, loving relationship? 

Did you think you’d be spending Christmas with someone you love? 

Did you think you’d be traveling with this person? 

Did you think your relationship would be more passionate by this time this year? 

Be very honest with yourself here. And remember: Our brains are designed to look for what’s going to protect you, not what will actually make you happy. So there’s no right or wrong answer here, just make sure you are being very honest with yourself. 

2. Where are you now, compared to where you thought you’d be? 

Is it the same? Better? Worse than you thought? 

Have you even thought about it this year? 

Have you distracted yourself with other things because it hurts too much to try? 

Do you feel like you’re okay, but really you’re just surviving because you don’t have what you really yearn for? 

Again, be really honest here. If you continue to make it “okay,” even if it’s not what you really want, nothing will ever change. 

3. Now that you’ve compared, honesty, where you thought you’d be to where you actually are… what’s missing? What’s in the gap? 

Get honest with yourself. Admit that you’re tired of it being this way. 

And look at yourself. What needs to shift? 

Get curious about what is in the way.

Note: It’s not that the guy is the thing that’s missing…. What gets to shift inside you so that you can create what you want to create in love? 

4. The last step is to write your vision about where you want to be. 

Where do you want to be in December 2020? A year from now, what will you have created? 

What does it look like?

How does it feel to be in that kind of relationship?

How will you know that  you’re exactly in the place you want to be?

Write it down. 

Maybe what you write now is different from what you thought you wanted last year. That’s okay.

You’ve had experiences this year, you’ve grown, you’ve learned. 

Or maybe you haven’t and you feel stagnant. 

Either way, honor where you’ve come over the last year,  and based on where you are today, write what it is that you want to create now.

How did that feel? How was that exercise for you? 

We really hope you took the time to do it, because it’s powerful. It’s only in knowing what we want and seeing what’s in our way that we can overcome the blocks and create it! 

That’s why we’ve opened up just a few more Love Breakthrough Sessions on our calendars before the end of the year.  Because what’s in the way isn’t always something you can see on your own. Sharing your vision and your gaps with someone who can guide and give you the exact steps you can take to overcome the obstacles and truly create what you want can make all the difference between staying where you are now or actually being in the relationship you dream of at this time next year.. 

Make sense? 

That’s why we’re here. 

1) To be another set of eyes, eyes experienced in love, to really help you to see what’s in your gap. 

2) we’re here to help you get to where you want to be without having to experience some of the pain that we have experienced or that we’ve seen others experience. We get to coach you to create the love you desire and create it NOW. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Make 2020 the year you set your dreams on fire!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

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