Top Three “Red Flags” to Watch For

Top Three “Red Flags” to Watch For

by Gladys Diaz 

If you’re dating, you’ve probably heard the term “red flag.” But do you know what a real “red flag” is? 

Do you know what you should be watching out for while dating? 

Do you know what things make a man “undateable”? 

You may be surprised to hear that there aren’t really that many “red flags.” There are some things that you want to be paying attention to, and that’s what we want to focus on today.

While dating, you want to have an open mind and an open heart while still noticing whether or not a man is “datable.” You want to allow yourself to fall in love with someone while not allowing the chemistry or the attraction to be the driving factor.

So, what are some real “red flags” you want to watch out for?

  1. A man is in another relationship. Whether he’s in the process of breaking up, still married, separated, in the legal process of divorce, they’re working out custody issues, still living together but not in love, or any other reason that keeps them connected to another person, a  man who is in any way, shape, or form still involved with someone else is a bright red flag!. 

Why is this important to pay attention to? 

If someone is willing to date you while they are still in a relationship with someone else, he’s already telling you something about his character. 

We have worked with women who were dating someone who was “leaving” their partner, and then 2 years, 4 years, even 7 years down the road , they are still with that other person. Waiting for him to choose them! 

You don’t want to set yourself up to lose in dating. 

When you hear that someone is in a relationship with someone else and you don’t see that as a red flag, it has to do with your worthiness. 

You deserve someone who can and is willing to  fully commit to you, And, if you catch yourself pushing that thought to the side, making excuses for him, or justifying his situation to yourself and others, then you get to ask what’s going on for you and why you’re not seeing that you deserve more. 

The thought that would come up for me when I was allowing myself to ignore this read flag was “If they have that many options and they want to be with me, then there must be something really special about me.”  

Can you hear the unworthiness in that question?

The thing is that this person couldn’t commit himself fully to you even if he wanted to because he’s still committed to someone else

If he’s willing to be with you while still being with someone else, why would he stay committed to you down the road?

If you’re involved with a man who’s involved with someone else, it’s time to reach out for support so that you can make a choice the empowers you and is aligned with your dream of a happy, loving relationship.

2. A man that has an active addiction. Regardless of what the addiction is, whether it’s alcohol, drugs, pornography, food, gambling, etc, this is a red flag.

Why is this important to look out for?

When someone has an active addiction to something, that thing will always be the priority in his life. That means that you will not be the priority in his life. It’s not that he’s a “bad person,” it’s that he has a problem that takes over his  reasoning. 

You want to make sure that you’re aware and awake and that you’re not blinded by infatuation, desperation, chemistry, or attraction when choosing who to date and fall in love with.

Too many women mistakenly believe that if they love the man enough, wait long enough, or help him enough, he will choose them over his addiction.  It’s a really painful game to play, and one where the woman usually does not win.

Notice your thoughts.Are you pushing something away?
Are you making excuses or justifications about his behavior?
Are you choosing to not notice something that you should be paying attention to? 

Ignoring a problem is never the same thing as resolving it.  If you’re pushing these thoughts away, it’s time to reach out for support.

3. A man that is physically or emotionally abusive. Is the man  you’re with constantly criticizing you, cutting you down or making you the brunt of his jokes? Does he refuse to take responsibility for things and turn everything back around on you?

Does he push, grab, or hit you? Even if he apologizes, cries about it, or promises never to do it again afterwards?

Why is knowing the answers to these questions important? 

If you start to feel less than or criticized, especially in the  early stages of a relationship, this person is simply not right for you. 

Someone who has good intentions is not going to put you down or make you the brunt of his jokes. 

If you’ve mentioned that this is hurtful, and he’s sensed that he can get away with this with you,  and he continues to treat you this way, he’s not trying to actually win your heart.

Pay attention!

If you don’t feel better about yourself when or after you’re with someone, then you shouldn’t be dating him. 

When dating or in a relationship with someone, make sure that chemistry doesn’t overpower your integrity. 

If you see that you are afraid, denying your values, making excuses, hiding things from your family and friends, and ignoring some really clear warning signs, it is time to get support NOW!

This is where the HeartWork comes into play as a way of raising your own level of self-worth. 

When you have  high levels of self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth, you know that you deserve better and you don’t settle for anything less. 

You notice these red flags and you choose to walk away, knowing that you will attract someone who loves, cherishes, honors, and chooses YOU, and that you can have the loving, peaceful, intimate relationship of your dreams with. 

Breaking through the Love Barriers stopping you from having the kind of love you want is one of the most important  journeys of your life, and if you’d like support so that you have the tools to overcome self-doubt, not settle for anything less than the extraordinary love you desire and deserve, we’d love to talk to you. 

We want you to know not just how to attract a man but how to attract the RIGHT man – someone who will be everything you want and deserve and more!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Let us support you in recognizing what’s  missing in your dating and relationship experiences so that you can create the relationship of your dreams now!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

rby Gladys Diaz 

Are you with the wrong guy? 

Are you in a relationship that feels like settling? 

Are you still hung up on a relationship that’s long been over, but you can’t seem to move on?

Are you frustrated feeling like you’re never going to be able to find the right person to bring into your life? 

The answers to these questions  are so important, because there is no way to create the relationship of your dreams if you’re stuck in something that’s not it. It can get tricky, because sometimes you may be open to seeing the red flags, and sometimes you’re not. 

So how do you know if you’re with the wrong guy? 

If you have clarity and know what you want to be experiencing in the relationship of your dreams, then you know when you’re not in it.

You must get crystal-clear on what it is that you want to feel and experience when you’re with the right guy in order to know when you’re with the wrong one.

Now, “crystal-clarity” isn’t the laundry list of what you want your guy to look like or have. It’s about the experience you have when you’re with him.

Do you feel at peace when you’re with him?
Can you be yourself?
Is the relationship aligned with your values and what’s important to you? 

When you know what you want – it becomes crystal clear if you’re in it or not.  It becomes less about looking for “red flags” and more about looking at what you’re actually experiencing when you’re around him, and then deciding if it’s aligned with what you really want. 

Why is this important? 

It’s important because, if you’re not having the experience you want to have in the relationship of your dreams, then the truth is:  You’re settling. 

We know why you stay. 

You think maybe he’ll come around.
You think maybe he’ll change.
Maybe… if you wait a little longer… love him a little more… give more of yourself to him…

If you find yourself in this pattern, listen up. Stop falling in love with “the potential” of what you think you see in a man, and start looking at what is actually there. Not from a judgmental place, but from a place of who he really is right now

We also know that if you’re willing to settle in a relationship, then you’re struggling with your self-worth and self-esteem. You’re not getting that you really do deserve to have exactly what you want in a loving relationship. 

When I was dating, this was me.

At one point, I was dating a man who was not only married, but was seeing three other women at the same time as me!

When I look back on that experience, I am dumbfounded as to what I was thinking, because, at the time, it didn’t even occur to me that maybe this wasn’t a good situation for me to be in. 

Years later, I know what I was thinking. I was continuing in my pattern of thinking if I could just be enough or do something right, that he’d choose me. I had fun with him, but the experience of being in what I thought was a relationship with him was super stressful. I was always wondering who he was with and whether he was going to call! It was not fun at all! 

It was not what I wanted, and this was blocking me from creating what I did want. 

The even bigger risk is that staying in a wrong relationship like the one I was in can have long-term effects on your psyche and your self-esteem, and the time it can take to heal from that can be devastating. 

Another aspect of being with the wrong guy is staying energetically connected to him, even after the relationship has ended. 

 The longest I’ve heard of a woman not being able to let go of a relationship is 17 years (that’s a teenager!)! 17 years of holding on to something that no longer existed and stopping herself from moving forward and creating the relationship she desired. 

 That’s heartbreaking! 

 So, what does it look like to let go? 

 First, you must bring acceptance to what is. You must realize that this relationship is not what you’re committed to creating and having, and accept that it needs to end.  If it already ended, you need to accept that it’s over, once and for all.

 Second, bring gratitude to the experience. Recognize the good memories, the lessons learned, and the people that may have come into your life through this person that are a blessing to you. When you feel gratitude for what was, it brings an empowerment to the choice you’re making to move on. 

 Third, you’ve got to realign yourself with your values. Your values are the compass you can use to guide your life. Though your boundaries and standards may change as the circumstances of your life change, your values – the things that matter to you most – will never change. Be true to and honor them, and you will always know you’re making the best choice for you.

 Fourth, do the Heartwork to understand how you got there in the first place. What are the core issues that drive the pattern of attracting the wrong man? Behind every dysfunctional pattern there’s a need you’re filling. Get clear on what that is so that you can shift it. 

 Fifth, begin taking committed action in the direction you’re now going. If you’re having a hard time letting go, make the choice to “lock the door” and move on! Take a stand, set boundaries and choose to move forward. 

 We know that a lot of this is “easier said than done” when you don’t know exactly how to do it on your own.  Think about it… If you knew what to do and how to do it, you would have moved on from this relationship a long time ago. 

If any or all of this sounds all too familiar,  we’d love to support you in finally letting go of the past, the wrong relationships, and anything that is holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams.

One of the fastest and most life-changing ways to do this is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

 In these three days, you are going to get connected to who you truly are, experience transformations and breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself, break free from the past, and create the access for creating the relationship of your dreams!

 Whether you’re deeply desiring to attract the man or you want to create your dream relationship with the man you’re already with – this event is for you!

 Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You’ll even get a special “LOVE  box” filled with cool swag and materials we’ll be using during the event IF you’re one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

 Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Stop the Drama and Start Thriving!

Stop the Drama and Start Thriving!

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like you’re constantly “surviving” in your life? 

Are you stuck in a pattern of drama?

Do you feel like love is “too hard,” or that it “takes too much effort”? 

Do you seem to always attract men that have a lot of baggage, don’t want to commit, or just aren’t good for you? 

The pattern of drama is an easy one to fall into, but it’s life-changing when you choose to shift it. 

Let me tell you my story. 

After my divorce and before I met Arnie, I realized I had a pattern of drama. One day I was telling a friend about the latest guy I was going after, how he was back and forth between me and another relationship that wasn’t working out, and how it was taking so much time and energy! 

After listening to me patiently this friend looked at me and he said, “Gosh Michelle, you have so much drama in your love life.” 

I was a little taken aback by that comment and he continued by saying, “I’m not saying that what you’re saying isn’t happening, but I’m saying that you’re creating it.” 

Wow. 

That was a wake-up call for me and I got to get really honest with myself. 

Was I creating it? 

I realized that I was. I realized that, from a very young age, I had learned that love is chaotic.

I had always had poor examples of relationships in my life. Both of my mother’s relationships included arguing, fighting, bickering, screaming, name-calling, and threatening. I had also watched my mom be “a martyr” and constantly give up what she wanted, not in a mutually compromising kind of way, but rather to “keep the peace.” 

I then recognized that I had always created, and was continuing to create, the same thing in my own life. 

My previous marriage had been filled with drama, constantly breaking up and then getting back together, and arguing about everything! 

When I got divorced, I thought I could start a clean page and do things differently. 

What I didn’t realize is that nothing inside of me had actually changed, so I continued to create the same thing in my new relationships. 

I always attracted men that had lots of baggage, had many failed relationships in their past, and were just as good at arguing as I was. My dramatic energy was attracting more drama and chaos.

And I was over it. 

When I realized I had this pattern and where it came from, everything began to change.  I broke the pattern, changed my beliefs about what love and relationships look like, met Arnie, and, together, we are creating the relationship of our dreams. 

If I can do it, you can too! 

So, how do you break the pattern of drama?

 

1. Recognize It.  Today is the day to get honest with yourself. Nothing is ever going to change if you don’t take a good hard look at what is happening in your life and see it for what it is. 

2. Own It.  Admit that if drama is showing up in your life, then you’re playing a part in creating it. When you do this, you stop being a victim to it. Take responsibility for it. You can choose to either keep going this way or create something new. And that’s where the power lies.

3. Accept It.  This means not judging yourself because of it. By recognizing that it’s there and owning your piece in creating it, you’re not blaming yourself for it, rather, you’re taking ownership in creating it so that you can change it. 

Ask yourself: What need am I trying to fill by keeping this pattern of drama in my life? 

Maybe you feel important when you’re giving everything away for love. 

Maybe you feel significant when you’re experiencing drama in your life. 

Maybe you’re just so used to the feelings of drama – worry, anxiety, loss, frustration – that you stay in that surviving state because it’s your “normal.”

If you broke that pattern, what could be created? 

If it doesn’t have to be that way, what’s a new possible belief?

4. Change it. Create a new definition of love and create new patterns. Decide what you want love to look like. And every time the old pattern shows up (because it will), recognize it, tell yourself that you’re not doing that anymore, and make a different choice. 

Choose to be love-able and worthy, because you are! 

When I changed this pattern, I decided that love got to be fun and easy. Love looked like communicating calmly and rationally. Love looked like being able to be 100% myself and still be loved. 

When I deepened the relationship with myself and decided I was love-able and worthy, only then did I begin to attract the high-quality men that I deserved and wanted to spend time getting to know. 

What do you want? 

Are you willing to do the work to break this pattern and create something better in your life? 

Are you ready to stop merely surviving, and start thriving?! 

If you are, we have GREAT news for you!

One of the fastest and most effective ways to break a pattern  and transform your life is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE!

In this 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love, we will be uncovering what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

If you’re tired of the drama, the frustration, and the dissatisfaction of dating and being in relationships that are NOT the peaceful, happy, and mutually supportive, then you need to join us!

We’re making it SUPER easy for you by taking 80% off the regular ticket price!

Why?

Because we don’t want there to be ANY reason or excuse for you to not be there!

You’ll even get a special “swag box” with cool stuff we’ll be using during the event IFyou are one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You can thrive. You can have the relationship of your dreams. 

You just have to choose it.

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

The Key to True Love

The Key to True Love

by Gladys Diaz 

What is the key to true love

Many women think it lies in finding the right person or having a perfected list of qualities you’re looking for in a partner. 

Some think it’s about where or how you meet the person,  while others think the key is in “divine timing.” 

What we’ve found from working with women of every age, from many countries, and all backgrounds is that there is one thing that truly separates the women that create the loving, intimate, long term relationship they desire and those that don’t. 

The key to creating true love with another person is creating true love within yourself first

Now, we’re not talking about self-care, though we do encourage doing all the things that fill you up and nourish your soul.

Self-love is deeper. 

Self-love is about the relationship you have with yourself. 

It’s the things you say about and to yourself.

It’s feeling comfortable with the most intimate parts of who you are. 

It’s the beliefs you hold about yourself. 

It’s the way you trust who you are and how you feel. 

It’s loving and accepting every part of you, even the parts of you you’re afraid others may not like. 

It’s bringing forgiveness and acceptance to your past. 

True self-love creates confidence, trust and the ability to create the things you most deeply desire.  

This is important whether you are single, in a relationship, or in a relationship that isn’t everything you hoped it would be,  because the relationship you have with yourself will be reflected in the relationships you create with other people. 

Do you have any resistance coming up around this?
Do you doubt that this could really be what’s missing from creating what you want in your life? 

If so, you’re not the only one. It’s easier to point outside of yourself for why things aren’t working the way you’d like to in your life. It’s much harder to look inward and be responsible for what you’re experiencing and creating in your relationships and in your life. 

And, if you don’t have the skills to know how to turn things around it can be a terrifying and frustrating place to be. We get that. 

We also know that knowing exactly what to do and how to do it  brings incredible amounts of confidence,  joy, and empowerment, because the relationship you have with yourself is the ONE thing you have total control over. 

Everything starts with you.
And that’s GREAT news!

When I was in the midst of my own self-love mission, everything in my life looked perfect on the outside. I had the job, I had great kids, I traveled with my girlfriends, and I was dating a lot — though none of those dating experiences ever went very far. 

Men would always tell me that I had an amazing life and was an amazing woman, but that they knew they just couldn’t give me what I wanted. 

I felt so confused and wondered why.If my life was so awesome, how could I still come home at night and feel so miserable and lonely and alone? 

Once I did the HeartWork I realized that all I wanted was someone to validate that I was lovable, when what I really needed was to create that love inside myself first

Recognizing that belief, uncovering where it came from, and creating something different within myself was such a transformative experience that it’s literally why we started doing the work that we do. 

We want every single woman to create the love and relationship that she deserves and desires, and, like we’ve said, we know it starts with you. 

That’s why we’d love to invite you to the Self-Love Secret Mission, a free 5-day challenge happening next week! 

Imagine five days where you can break-though and create the type of love and relationship with yourself that you want to create with others. 

Throughout the week, you will experience falling in love with yourself  and start seeing the miracles that follow. 

Out of this experience we’ve seen women obtain new jobs, receive promotions, manifest new homes, and create the relationship of their dreams — all through the healing and transformation  that comes through doing this HeartWork

If you’re ready to create a deeply loving, profound, and powerful relationship with yourself that will have you create the life and love you really want, then make sure you join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission!

Click here to join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission! 

When you dive into self-love and develop a deep and intimate relationship with yourself, you tap into and unleash your Irresistible Essence,  which is the key to creating everything your heart desires!

We can’t wait to see you there!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

by Gladys Diaz 

Believing you can have the love you desire is the key to creating the relationship of your dreams. 

Do you really  believe it’s possible for you? 

Your answer is probably yes. 

But, here’s the kicker.: Your brain is getting in the way. 

Whether it’s been years since your last relationship, or you’re in one right now,  if you’re struggling to know how to make it work the way you want it to, there’s a belief that’s getting in the way. 

Everything we believe is given by something that happened in our past. 

Things happen. Promises are broken, something unexpected happens, people change, partners die… and we start to wonder: Can I really have the love I want?

No matter what your relationship status, ask yourself this: What is getting in the way of me having the relationship I really want?

The first thing to pay attention to is what you’re thinking in the little moments. 

What’s the very first thing that comes to your mind when someone says you’re beautiful? 

When he doesn’t call after a date? 

When he’s 10 minutes late to pick you up? 

When your boss calls you in for a meeting?

The reason it’s important to pay attention to those thoughts is because those thoughts are the ones running the show. 

They’re creating your “reality.” 

Even if you say you know you can have the relationship you really want, but you don’t fully believe it, you won’t be able to create it. 

You will always listen to your beliefs over your thoughts or words. 

So, what’s running your show? 

What are your dominant thoughts focused on? 

Do you think you can’t trust him? That relationships never last? 

Do you feel like relationships are too hard, or that a great relationship is never going to happen for you? 

These thoughts were created before you had your first kiss or your first crush. 

And that’s why it’s important to get to the root beliefs under those thoughts, so that you can dig them up and replace them with beliefs that will serve you. 

It’s like when I’m pulling those pesky weeds out of my yard. If I don’t pull them all the way out, including the roots, they will just grow back! But if I pull them  out,  roots and all, they will be gone for good. 

It’s the same with our beliefs. 

When you get to the root of the belief that’s tainting your reality, then, and only then, can you replace it by planting new experiences which create new beliefs that are just as strong and deeply rooted as the old belief. 

Those pesky beliefs that cause you to run the same patterns in your life cause disappointing experiences. Enough disappointment leads to apathy and more disempowering beliefs, and the tug-of-war in your life goes on and on! 

The conversation you’re having in your head is what’s keeping you stuck exactly where you are. 

If you’re done suffering and are tired of having a hard time in relationships, let us help you! 

Relationships are joyful, fun, exciting, adventurous, intimate and happy! Let us help you uncover what’s making it seem so hard. Because it doesn’t have to be. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

If what you really, truly believe isn’t giving you what you want, let’s talk. It can be easy!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

How to Be Someone to Be Admired

How to Be Someone to Be Admired

by Gladys Diaz 

Who’s someone you really admire? 

Someone you look up to? Someone who’s made a difference for you?

Who would you  like to be more like? 

What characteristics do they have that you admire? 

Do they show integrity? Are they authentic and real?
Maybe they have high energy that’s contagious.
Are they loving and generous?
Are they dignified and show grace under fire? 

Take Oprah, for example. There is just such an amazing way that she exemplifies grace under fire. She is compassionate while being rigorous. She is kind while being strong. She speaks up and takes a stand without being reactive. She is dignified.

Those are just a few of the things that we look up to in women. 

How about you? 

Oftentimes, we recognize things in others that we’d like to develop more of in ourselves. 

Whether you’re in a relationship or dating, it’s essential to be self-aware. To be able to recognize the places within yourself that are your opportunities for growth.  

We say, “opportunities for growth,” because it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re trying to be something you’re not. One of the biggest sources of stress in dating and relationships comes from being inauthentic or trying to be someone you’re not. 

We say “opportunities for growth,” because recognizing the areas in which you’d like to develop are opportunities for higher levels of self-esteem, confidence and more desired experiences. 

And all of those things are highly attractive, right?

It’s like that awesome quote by Sophia Bush says:

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” 

You can strive to develop yourself while also exercising self-love and grace and always striving to be your authentic best. 

So what are the ways of being you’d like to embody ?

Here are some ideas from our community: 

Confident

Real

Authentic

Good Listener

Forgiving

Genuine

Considerate

Respectful

Loving

Physically Fit

Graceful

Honest

Gentle

Integrity

A finisher

Committed

Disciplined

Focused

Owning a State of Ease

Sense of Humor

Smart

Generous

Grit

Humble

Solution Oriented

And those are just a start! 

What is it for you? 

Choose two ways of being that would make the biggest difference for you and for those around you that you can focus on embodying this week. 

And remember to make it fun!

There is a natural human desire to grow. There’s so much fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from recognizing your growth opportunities and doing something about them!

If you’d like help recognizing what some of those opportunities are for you, book a Love Breakthrough Call. That’s what we’re here for!

Sometimes, the thing holding us back is in our blind spot, and all it takes is someone to lovingly point it out, help us remove it and replace it with something else that makes all the difference.  

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

We look forward to hearing the ways in which you’re stretching yourself this week!

YOU can be the woman you most admire when you BE the love you want to see!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

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