It’s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!
And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all!
So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks – between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma –have been a bit challenging, to say the least.
(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately – know that you are in Michelle’s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.)
Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.
There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions.
I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.
Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.
And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:
What do I do? Have I done enough?
How long will this last?
Will we be okay?
What’s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don’t only come up around nature’s storms.
You feel them during life’s storms, too.
When you’re going through a breakup…
When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…
When you see your relationship is falling apart…
Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core.
So, what can you do during life’s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?
1. Stay present. I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety. Why? Because fear is always a “future experience.” While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future.
What’s more, fear is never “real.” It is only ever an imagined thought.
Now, hear me out on this. Am I saying that what you fear will never happen?
What I am saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and/or are anxious about isn’t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment. Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future.
The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.
So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening.
This practice is life-changing.
Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness – and love – from making its way to you.
This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us.
Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less!
As I said: Life-Changing!
2. Focus on what you CAN control.During the storm, there were many things I could not control – the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on.
There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.
Similarly, during life’s storms, there are things you can’t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.
However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.
When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered. You are not at the mercy of the storm. Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.
3. Ask for and receive help.This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women. You’re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you’re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own. You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.
However, quite the opposite is true!
It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help. It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.
I can’t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out. What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!
I heard responses like, “I’m used to toughing things out,” “I’m okay with sacrificing,” “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure something out” – even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!
And so many powerful women do the same thing during life’s storms!
You don’t reach out for help or support so that you won’t seem weak.
You believe that struggling and “suffering” through the heartache is somehow “noble” or makes you stronger.
You deny help and support because you feel as if you “should be able to figure this ‘relationship thing’ out on my own.”
And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist – many times for much longer than is necessary – when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what youreally want.
There’s no honor or glory in unnecessary martyrdom or sacrificing.
Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.
Life’s storms will come. You don’t have much choice in that… That part’s not “optional.”
What you can choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.
What is optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.
I know what my choice is!
Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!
I don’t know if you’re aware of it, because these things are usually going on in the subconscious, as blind spots, but there are things that you are telling yourself that are actually stopping you from having the love you want.
The frustrating part about it is that, because you’re not aware that they are lies, you actually believe them. To you, they are the truth! And, unfortunately, these are the very thoughts and words that are keeping you stuck in your love life!
I shot a really quick raw-and-real, tough love video, and I hope you’ll give yourself a few minutes to watch it because this could actually transform your life as you know it!
Most people in your life won’t tell you what I’m telling you in this video. In fact, many of them are agreeing with you and helping you to continue believing the lies. So, it’s with an incredible amount of love that I want to share this with you, because I see you bigger than any thought or fear or excuse you may have! To me you are amazing and you deserve everything your heart desires!
Watch the video and tell me what you think!
P.S. You really can get unstuck and it doesn’t have to be hard. Simply stop believing the lies I talk about in this video and trust me! We can get to the other side of this together!
If you are a smart, successful woman who is READY to have success in your love life, then this is the one article you want to read all the way through today, because it is your LUCKY day!
While having a successful relationship has nothing to do with luck, we do believe in Divine Timing and in the power you have to manifest your dreams, and in rewarding bold and courageous actions, so we are about to help you make your dreams come true!
If you are a woman who feels like you have “The Midas Touch” in every area of your life exceptyour love life and you are ready to prove just how committed you are to creating and living in the relationship of your dreams, give us three days and we will show you exactlyhow to have success in BOTH life and love!
Does any of this sound familiar?
You’ve read books, attended workshops and webinars, bought infoproducts, listened to teleclasses, and even spoken to a few coaches, but you’restillnot in the loving, intimate relationship your heart desires, which leaves you feeling frustrated, lonely, and wondering whether or not you’ll ever have the relationship of your dreams.
You know there are thought and behavior patterns that keep getting in the way of either attracting the right man or having a relationship work, but you can’t figure out how to stop repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors, no matter who it is you’re dating or in a relationship with. And this has you wondering if there’s something wrong with you, men, or relationships in general.
You know that dating and relationships shouldn’t feel “hard,” but you dread going on yet another unsuccessful date or having another relationship end, and the thought of having your heart broken again has you either holding onto a relationship that isn’t working or avoiding opening your heart to new love.
You’re at the point where you are ready and willing to make the changes that will finally give you the successful results you want in your love life and you just want to know howto do it.
If you resonated with any or all of the points above, don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Most smart successful women are in a similar place.
Because what most people don’t know is that there is a very unique set of challenges that successful women face when it comes to relationships.
The main reason is because many of the skills that propel us in our careers and businesses actually repellove and intimacy in romantic relationships! But, because they work at work, we mistakenly believe that those same skills and behaviors will work when it comes to love.
Unfortunately, they don’t work, and we are unconsciously self-sabotaging ourselves out of the very happiness we want more than anything else in the world!
Now, I know that you don’tneeda man to make you happy. Your happiness is 100% your responsibility.
However, if what your heart truly desires is to be in a loving, intimate, passionate relationship with a man who is absolutely right for you; who’s not threatened, but is inspired, by your success; and who is ready to spend the rest of his life letting you know just how much he loves you, then doesn’t it make sense for you to work toward that goal as diligently – if not even more passionately – as you would any one of your professional or career goals?
As a successful, powerful woman myself, I know what it almost cost me to not know the skills that led to creating a loving, peaceful, passionate relationship. In fact, it almost cost me my marriage!
It wasn’t until I learned what barriers were in the way of me having love and intimacy flow easily and abundantly; how to tap into my Irresistible, Feminine Essence; and how to use effective communication and relationship skills to connect deeply with my man that I was able to turn my relationship around.
Now, after 18 years together, I can tell you that there is nothingI have accomplished in my career – not any award, achievement, or recognition – that holds a candle to what it feels like when my husband says that the woman I am inspires him to be the best man he can be!
If you want to learn the secrets to creating a successful, happy, loving relationship that stands the test of time with the right man for you, then join us for three days transformational heart-and-life-changing days atThe Irresistible Woman LIVE!
The Irresistible Woman LIVEis especially designedfor the successful, powerful professional woman like you who wants to experience as much – if not even more– success in her love life and relationships as she does in her career!
If you are tired, frustrated, and feeling hopeless about your ability to havebotha successful and fulfilling careerandan extraordinary romantic relationship, then you need to be at this event!
As we said , this event is specifically for successful women – women who are used to going above and beyond to get what they want – so it’s going to be a no-holds-barred-tough-love seminar!
In this 3-day event, you will:
Take a deep dive into whyyou are not attracting or experiencing the kind of love that you wantin your relationships (and learn how to stop the self-sabotage)
Uncover the specific thoughts, actions, and behaviors you are using toblocklovefrom coming into your life so that you can begin to experience love, happiness, and abundance in your romantic relationships
Identify the skills that propel you in the workplace but completelykilllove and intimacy in romantic relationships(and learn the skills that magnify love and romance)
Create new thought patterns and behaviors that will allow you to shed the masculine energyyou carry around at work so that you can embrace the feminine energy that will make you Simply Irresistible to the right man
Design a plan for implementing what you have learned into your life on adaily basisso that you are continuously experiencing more success in your love life!
And soooo much more!
If you are seriously committed to having the lifeandlove your heart desires, there is absolutely NO reason for you not to be there!
To make sure you know how committed WE are to helping get the loving relationship you want, we’re making this an irresistible, no-brainer decision for you!
As a successful woman, you know that a huge part of your success is takingdecisive actionsthat arealignedwith the goals you want to accomplish.
That’s why we are only making this special offer for the next seven days. And, once it goes away, we will NOT be making it again.
And, for the first 10 women who register today, we willautomaticallyupgrade you to VIP status!
That’s right, as a VIP you will receive:
Preferred seating all 3 days so that you are up front, don’t have to worry about finding a seat, and can get up close and personal with us!
A special VIP-only luncheon on Day 2where you will be able to mix and mingle with The Love Twins and the other VIPs
An intimate VIP-only evening reception with Michelle, Gladys, and their husbands where you will be able to get ALL of your questions about
And many moreVIP-only perksand surprises!
The VIP ticket is normally $600, and you get it for the Super Early Bird Price of a General Admission ticket simply for being one of the first 10 to grab your spot!
So, don’t make up excuses, don’t put this off, and don’t suffer from FOMO!
Our events sell out quickly and you WILL miss your opportunity to learn the exact stepsyou can take to effortlessly begin attracting the loving relationship your desire and deserve at a simply irresistible price!
Seneca said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
We’re giving you the opportunity to create your own luck and learn the skills you need to have the success that you want and deserve in the lasting, loving, and fulfilling relationship your heart truly desires!
This event only happens once a year, this is a one-time offer, and you simply don’t want to miss this amazing, transformational event!
Today we are are celebrating one of my FAVORITE love stories of all time!
Six years ago today, I stood with tears of joy streaming down my face as I watched my twin sister, Michelle, and Arnie promise to love one another for a lifetime.
As I watched her walking down the aisle with her two sons, I just couldn’t stop the tears, remembering the painful road full of heartache and disappointment that Michelle had walked down before finally attracting Arnie into her life.
Michelle had felt the pain of being in a marriage that had been falling apart for many years, followed by a string of micro- and non-relationships to men who were unavailable, addicts, and who did not treat her with the love and tenderness she so longed for and deserved.
She came very close to giving up on love.
Thankfully, Michelle was willing to do her HeartWork, remove the Love Barriers that were stopping her from attracting the kind of love she truly desired, and she began attracting amazing men, including the one who was promising to love, adore, and make her dreams come true for the rest of her life!
See, in doing her HeartWork, Michelle discovered what had been missing in her life that had led her to stay in an happy marriage for so long, attract, date, and hold onto dead-end relationships with men who were unwilling or unable to love her the way she longed to be loved painful time, and it’s what had her wondering whether there was something wrong with her and if she would ever experience happiness in a loving relationship.
One of my favorite passages in our ebook, 30 Days and 30 Ways to Fall In Love with YOU!, is the part where Michelle shares the secret to her discovering true love:
I decided to take a deeper look into my relationship patterns so that I could begin to uncover what was at the source of the results I was producing.
I discovered that in the 5 years I had been dating, there was something fundamental missing in all of my dating and relationship experiences…ME! I had been trying to be the “perfect woman” to hide who I really was, because I was terrified that if a man discovered who I really was, he could never fall in love with me. I had convinced myself that the real me was unlovable.
I began to write down all the things about myself that I felt were unlovable…it was a long list! Then one by one, I began to forgive myself. I realized there was nothing I could do to change the past. All I could do now was learn the lessons and forget the details.
I gave myself permission to let it all go for good. As I let each one go, something beautiful began to happen – I began to fall in love with me! I discovered that the only love that was missing was my own. I was now free to love and to be loved!
See, what Michelle discovered is that what stops you from creating a happy and loving relationship you want is not online dating; it’s not what happened in your past; and it’s not your current partner, your ex, or the guy who didn’t love you back.
The #1 difference between the woman who is not experiencing love and happiness in her relationships and the one who IS comes down to one thing:
The relationship the woman has with herself.
Think about it…
If you do not love, accept, honor, and prioritize yourself, it is impossible for you to attract someone into your life who will love, accept, honor, and make you a priority in his life!
In fact, it’s unfair to expect a man to love you and give to you the soul-level kind of love that you are not giving yourself.
And what happens when you don’t have a deep level of self love is that you continue repeating the same dysfunctional patterns and having the same painful experiences over and over again.
So, you do things like:
Attracting men who you hope will love and accept you, but don’t.
Turning yourself inside out trying to be the woman you think the man wants you to be, hoping that that’s what will maybe get him to love you.
Losing yourself in the relationship, forgetting about your own needs and desires, and trying to make him the center of your world in the hope that you will finally feel loved.
And the reason this continues to happen again and again is because, on a fundamental level, you do not believe that you are worthy of or able to have the kind of love you truly desire.
So you settle.
You settle for less than what you really want.
You pretend that you’re okay being single and that you don’t want to share your life with a great man.
You convince yourself that what you have is what you want.
And, at the end of yet another heartbreaking dating experience or broken relationship, you’re left feeling lost, empty, lonely, and afraid – wondering if you’ll ever really have the love and happiness your heart desires.
The best thing about The Self-Love Secret Mission is that, not only is it FREE – our Valentine’s Day Gift to you –but we are starting tomorrow,February 13th, the day before Valentine’s Day – which means you won’t be alone on Valentine’s Day, you’ll be having fun, AND you’re going to experience what it’s like to feel truly loved by the person with whom you’ll have the longest lasting loving relationship of your life: YOU!
So, hurry up!
Join The Self-Love Secret now, and take the first step toward creating the love affair of a lifetime!
This weekend was one of those non-stop, every-minute-planned, busy-but-”good busy” weekends!
Usually, I hate this kind of weekend, because I love just being able to relax with my family. However, this weekend it was all about fueling my family’s dreams, and that’s what made it exciting, instead of exhausting!
It all started on Thursday morning where I rushed to get my older son tickets to go see a mechanical engineer that works with NASA and then rushed him over there in the evening so that he could watch the 2-hour lecture.
Here’s the thing. My idea of a fun evening is NOT listening to and watching descriptions of all of the rocks they are finding on Mars! However, my son’s dream is to be a mechanical engineer and one of the astronauts who will actually get to step on Mars, so, every time I looked over and saw the wide-eyed look of wonder on my son’s face, and I just knew he was envisioning himself standing there, I had to smile, and that made it worth it! (And, I’ll admit, the rovers are pretty cool, too!)
Then, on Saturday morning, we rushed him over to a magnet high school that specializes in Pre-Engineering coursework so that his four years of high school are focused on what he really dreams of and wants to do.
Here’s the thing: This school is over 30 minutes away from our home and we’ll have to wake up at 5:30am to get him there on time, and there is a perfectly good school only 10 minutes away from our house! However, it doesn’t specialize in engineering. So, while it’s not convenient, we’ll be getting up at the crack of dawn (literally) for the next four years to make sure he gets a head start on making his dream come true.
After that, we rushed him to his campout (he also dreams of being an Eagle Scout) and then it was time to fuel our little one’s dream of being a race car driver!
Here’s the thing: I don’t like racing. It’s not my “thing.” But he dreams of driving race cars for NASCAR, and there was an exhibition race in town (the first-ever of it’s kind in the U.S.), so we surprised him as one of his early birthday presents.
Was it worth it? Well, you tell me.
When your little one looks at you, all wide-eyed and emotional and says, “Best. Birthday. Ever!” and then hugs you as he says, “Thank you, Mommy.” What do you think?
(I think “Yes! Soooo worth it!”)
And then Sunday was all about fueling my dreams!
Michelle and I are rebranding Heart’s Desire International, and we wanted pictures that are aligned with our message, our mission, and our vision for women around the world having both the life and the love their hearts truly desire!
We had the opportunity to work with an amazing photographer who is a colleague of mine, and we got to have our hair and makeup done, wear beautiful clothes our stylist helped us pick out, and take amazing photos in Downtown Miami!
(These pics are just selfies taken by us. Professional photos to come soon!)
It was a long day! Lots of changing, walking, driving, changing again, and smiling until our cheeks hurt, but again, so worth it!
My favorite parts were spending time with my twin (always fun!), especially when we were just being our silly selves, and when our husbands and my sons joined us for photos, since they are such a huge part of our mission!
And the entire time we were taking our pictures, YOU were on our minds!
Because one of the best parts of our business is that our dreams can only come true when we help you make your dreams come true!
Look, I know that “making dreams come true” can sound a bit “woo-woo” or cliche, but that really is what we are all about: Helping you take the steps you need to take so that you can have both the life and love your heart desires.
It’s what we’ve dedicated our lives to doing!
So, for just a minute, I want you to think about your relationship dreams.
What is it that you truly want to experience in the relationship of your dreams?
When you look at the thoughts you have about that dream and the actions you are taking every day, are your thoughts and actions fueling your dreams, or your doubts?
Are you spending more time thinking about and really taking the action steps that will lead you to having the kind of relationship you say you want, or are you giving fuel to the fears and doubts that have you thinking that that vision is possible for others, but not you?
And do you have the skills that you need to distinguish, dismantle, andreplace those fears and doubts so that you can consistently take inspired action that is directly aligned with making your dreams come true?
If so, then you know you are because you’re already living in a happy, loving relationship that fuels your dreams every day.
If not, then it’s simply time to begin fueling your dreams by getting clear around what it is you truly want and what thoughts and actions you need to stop and start so that you can manifest the kind of relationship you desire or deserve.
Because, here’s the thing: Every thought you have and every action you take is giving you the results you have now.
So, if you’ve been fueling your dreams, congratulations! We’re so happy for you and love hearing success stories, so please comment below and share them with us!
And, if you’re not (YET), then let’s talk, because there is no better time to begin fueling your dreams then right now, and we’d love nothing more than to help you do just that!
You deserve to have the love of your dreams, Beautiful!
Today we’re celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in the United States, and, aside from relishing having a day to spend with my family, I also wanted to take a few minutes to reflect and remember why this day is so important.
If I had to use just three words to describe Dr. King and his life, the words would be faith, love, and hope. And, of course, all of these were enveloped in his dream.
As I was looking through some of his inspirational quotes, I came across this one:
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
As soon as I read it, I immediately thought back to my family’s vacation to Hawaii in November, and the way I felt when I stood inside the volcano crater and looked up at the tiny staircase that was miles and miles away, at the top of the mountain (see the photo below, and you’ll see the staircase at the upper left-hand corner).
I remember thinking, “How in the world will I ever make it up there, especially with my fear of heights and the pain in my knee?”
I didn’t know how I’d make it, but I did know one thing:
I was NOT going to allow my fear to stop me from getting to the top of that mountain and witnessing the view from up there!
So, I started climbing.
And, yes, I was scared. I got dizzy a few times. My feet slipped on the rocks. And the pain in my knee became almost unbearable the higher we climbed.
But I had faith that something beautiful, something I’d never seen or experienced before, was waiting for me at the top of that mountain and on the other side of my fear. So I climbed!
And, when I got to the top of the mountain, it was so worth it! I’d climbed my first mountain, the view was absolutely breathtaking, and I was experiencing it all with the three guys I love most in this world!
Honestly, it was MORE than worth it!
So, why am I telling you this?
I know that love and relationships can be scary. There is so much uncertainty because there aren’t any guarantees.
You don’t know if it’s going to work out with the guy you are seeing.
You’re afraid of having your heart broken again.
It feels safer to stay where you are, even though it’s not where you want to be.
I get it.
However, staying where you are — whether you are single or in a relationship that is stagnant or not working — is the surefire way to NOT get to where you truly desire to be: The place where you feel loved and adored. That amazing place where you know that you know that you are loved!
Maybe it’s been a long journey for you.
Maybe you feel like the pain is more than you can take.
Or maybe you’re just tired of trying.
Whatever your “mountain” is, I promise you that if you will have your faith be stronger than your fear, if you are willing to focus on your desire more than your doubt, and if you are courageous enough to take that first step in the direction of your dreams, with the right guidance and support, you WILL get to the place where you are in the relationship your heart desires with the man who is absolutely right for you.
If you’re ready to take that first step and you want to know exactly how to do that, then it’s time for you to have a Love Breakthrough! Simply use the link below to schedule time for us to talk and together we will take a look at what your personal love goals are, distinguish what has been stopping you from attracting that loving relationship to you, and what your best first step is for getting the happy, loving relationship your heart desires.
Having the love you want isn’t about learning a bunch of generic tips, tricks or strategies. Your personal love goals are yours to achieve, and knowing the right steps for you to take is critical in order for you to have the love you want! Take that first step of FAITH, and I’ll be waiting to help guide you to the other side!