by Gladys Diaz
Should I stay or should I go?
Have you ever asked yourself that question?
If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?”
Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to.
Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself.
Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting.
Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by.
And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.
This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life.
Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling.
Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home.
Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.
Where in your life are you just surviving?
Where are you settling for less than you desire?
People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it.
Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.
Can you relate?
I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better.
At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear.
So… should you stay or should you go?
First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go.
No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support.
Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”
The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question.
We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.”
You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire.
What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.
Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire?
And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want?
After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed.
Now for the question of whether you should stay.
You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.
We’ve worked with women who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.
So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action!
This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern!
You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.
In the search for love, YOU get to choose!
As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.
We’re here for you!
Lots of love,
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins