rby Gladys Diaz
Are you with the wrong guy?
Are you in a relationship that feels like settling?
Are you still hung up on a relationship that’s long been over, but you can’t seem to move on?
Are you frustrated feeling like you’re never going to be able to find the right person to bring into your life?
The answers to these questions are so important, because there is no way to create the relationship of your dreams if you’re stuck in something that’s not it. It can get tricky, because sometimes you may be open to seeing the red flags, and sometimes you’re not.
So how do you know if you’re with the wrong guy?
If you have clarity and know what you want to be experiencing in the relationship of your dreams, then you know when you’re not in it.
You must get crystal-clear on what it is that you want to feel and experience when you’re with the right guy in order to know when you’re with the wrong one.
Now, “crystal-clarity” isn’t the laundry list of what you want your guy to look like or have. It’s about the experience you have when you’re with him.
Do you feel at peace when you’re with him?
Can you be yourself?
Is the relationship aligned with your values and what’s important to you?
When you know what you want – it becomes crystal clear if you’re in it or not. It becomes less about looking for “red flags” and more about looking at what you’re actually experiencing when you’re around him, and then deciding if it’s aligned with what you really want.
Why is this important?
It’s important because, if you’re not having the experience you want to have in the relationship of your dreams, then the truth is: You’re settling.
We know why you stay.
You think maybe he’ll come around.
You think maybe he’ll change.
Maybe… if you wait a little longer… love him a little more… give more of yourself to him…
If you find yourself in this pattern, listen up. Stop falling in love with “the potential” of what you think you see in a man, and start looking at what is actually there. Not from a judgmental place, but from a place of who he really is right now.
We also know that if you’re willing to settle in a relationship, then you’re struggling with your self-worth and self-esteem. You’re not getting that you really do deserve to have exactly what you want in a loving relationship.
When I was dating, this was me.
At one point, I was dating a man who was not only married, but was seeing three other women at the same time as me!
When I look back on that experience, I am dumbfounded as to what I was thinking, because, at the time, it didn’t even occur to me that maybe this wasn’t a good situation for me to be in.
Years later, I know what I was thinking. I was continuing in my pattern of thinking if I could just be enough or do something right, that he’d choose me. I had fun with him, but the experience of being in what I thought was a relationship with him was super stressful. I was always wondering who he was with and whether he was going to call! It was not fun at all!
It was not what I wanted, and this was blocking me from creating what I did want.
The even bigger risk is that staying in a wrong relationship like the one I was in can have long-term effects on your psyche and your self-esteem, and the time it can take to heal from that can be devastating.
Another aspect of being with the wrong guy is staying energetically connected to him, even after the relationship has ended.
The longest I’ve heard of a woman not being able to let go of a relationship is 17 years (that’s a teenager!)! 17 years of holding on to something that no longer existed and stopping herself from moving forward and creating the relationship she desired.
First, you must bring acceptance to what is. You must realize that this relationship is not what you’re committed to creating and having, and accept that it needs to end. If it already ended, you need to accept that it’s over, once and for all.
Second, bring gratitude to the experience. Recognize the good memories, the lessons learned, and the people that may have come into your life through this person that are a blessing to you. When you feel gratitude for what was, it brings an empowerment to the choice you’re making to move on.
Third, you’ve got to realign yourself with your values. Your values are the compass you can use to guide your life. Though your boundaries and standards may change as the circumstances of your life change, your values – the things that matter to you most – will never change. Be true to and honor them, and you will always know you’re making the best choice for you.
Fourth, do the Heartwork to understand how you got there in the first place. What are the core issues that drive the pattern of attracting the wrong man? Behind every dysfunctional pattern there’s a need you’re filling. Get clear on what that is so that you can shift it.
Fifth, begin taking committed action in the direction you’re now going. If you’re having a hard time letting go, make the choice to “lock the door” and move on! Take a stand, set boundaries and choose to move forward.
We know that a lot of this is “easier said than done” when you don’t know exactly how to do it on your own. Think about it… If you knew what to do and how to do it, you would have moved on from this relationship a long time ago.
If any or all of this sounds all too familiar, we’d love to support you in finally letting go of the past, the wrong relationships, and anything that is holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams.
One of the fastest and most life-changing ways to do this is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!
This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!
In these three days, you are going to get connected to who you truly are, experience transformations and breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself, break free from the past, and create the access for creating the relationship of your dreams!
Lots of love,
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins