3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

by Gladys Diaz

I know it’s frustrating…

You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.

You go out and have an amazing time.

You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.

He asks you out on another date… and then another.

Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…

You stop going on line.

You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)

You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)

Then…

Crickets.

And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.

I get it.

It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.

And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.

The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.

The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”

Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.

Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.

Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.

The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.

When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.

This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.

This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.

The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.

Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.

Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.

He doesn’t have to ask you out.

And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.

You’re NOT in a relationship.

He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.

Which is why we recommend you do the same!

Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.

You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).

What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.

The benefit?

  • You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
  • You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
  • You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
  • And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.

Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!

If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.

I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

 

Why “Mindset” Alone Won’t Get You the Love You Want

Why “Mindset” Alone Won’t Get You the Love You Want

by Gladys Diaz

If you’ve invested time and money in personal development and spiritual programs that help you shift your mindset, and you’re still not experiencing significant shifts in your love life or relationship, I want to ask you a few questions.

Before you invested in this mindset program did you:

  • Know how to date successfully so that you aren’t wasting your time, love, or energy?
  • Get trained in the differences between the male and female brain and how we are wired differently?
  • Learn and master proven relationship skills that ensure long-lasting love?
  • Master effective communication that allow you to express yourself in a way that has your partner hear and respond to you in a loving way?
  • Have the opportunity to consistently practice these new skills so that you mastered them and avoided repeating old, self-sabotaging dysfunctional and painful patterns in your relationship?

If you answered “no” to even two of these questions, then you have the answer as to why you don’t have the kind of love you want.

See, no amount of personal work is going to change what happens in your love life or relationship when you don’t actually know and use the skills that create AND sustain lasting love.

 

You can be confident, think positively, meditate and pray, speak positive affirmations to yourself, visualize, and plaster your walls with vision boards, and this will only get you so far.

It’s like filling your refrigerator with a bunch of healthy food, joining a gym, and buying a ton of cute workout outfits but never prepping your meals or getting on the treadmill — your body and weight are notgoing to change one bit until you stop thinking and visualizing and start taking COMMITTED ACTION.

 

The same is true when it comes to your love life. 

Thinking positively and visualizing what you want can help you begin to set in motion attracting the relationship you want, AND you still need to have the right skills and know the right steps to take so that you can take the right ACTIONS that give you the results you really want. 

 

Like anything else you have ever accomplished that you became masterful at, having a great relationship requires a specific skill set. It just does.

You simply can’t get there by mindset alone.

Having the right mindset AND skill set are both essential, yet too many women keep trying use one without the other. And it simply doesn’t work.

 

So here’s the deal: It’s time to get committed to learning  what it takes to have a real loving and intimate relationship.

One that fulfills you; has you feeling truly loved, accepted, and supported by a high-quality man; and where you know how to keep the love, passion, and intimacy alive for a lifetime.

 

Enrollment for our next round of our Ready to Love Again (for single ladies) and Keeping the Love Alive (for women in relationships) is closing soon, and we are inviting women who are seriously committed to transforming themselves and their love lives into the community.

You must be someone who is ready to commit to investing in yourself, be willing to be coachable, and do BOTH the inner work as well as learn and apply the skills that will make this transformation happen for you. 

These are the programs where our clients learn how to remove and replace the Love Barriers that have been stopping them from having the love they want.

These programs are where you’ll learn how to combine the mindset work with effective and proven dating (if you’re single) relationship and communication skills that will have you experiencing more fun, love, and ease in your relationship.

These are the programs where so many of our clients FINALLY learn the skills that give them the confidence AND ability have and live in the loving, intimate relationship of their dreams! 

And these are the programs where you’ll see why nothing else has worked before. 

You’ll permanently remove the barriers that are keeping you stuck and finally have the love, life, and happiness your heart desires!

 

If you know this is you, then reach out.

We are committed to you having the love you desire and deserve, and if we don’t think the program is a good fit, we’ll be honest and give you some recommendations, but we won’t make you an invitation to join.

We’re not going to “sell” you, and we don’t need to, because we only work with women who we feel are ready for to succeed in the program (and their love lives), and our clients’ results really do speak for themselves.

 

We’re here to work only with the truly committed woman (in actions, not just words) — the woman who already knows that you’re ready to have the relationship you have been dreaming of, and you’re tired of waiting for it to “just happen,” because you KNOW you’re worthy of and ready to receive it now. 

Does that sound like you? 

Are you feeling it in your body right now — something that is pulling you forward?

Then let’s talk. 

We’ve got limited time on our calendar to speak this week (No, that’s not a marketing tactic. We’re busy, just like you are!), so if you’d like a spot, shoot us an email and tell us a little bit about your love life or relationship  and what your challenges are right now.

You’re probably doing a lot of things right now that might help you get the love you want, but you may be focusing on the wrong things or doing them in the wrong order. THIS is what we can help you sort through so that you are moving in the direction of your dreams!

Having the right mindset AND the right skills is the key to succeeding in any area of your life.  If you’re truly committed to doing the work to learn BOTH so that you can finally have the happy, loving relationship you have always dreamed of, send us an email and let us know what that looks like for you and what challenges you’re having right now. We’ll set up time to talk and tell you exactly what will make a difference NOW!

If you prefer, you can set up a time to talk by clicking here!

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Time to LET GO of Your Past Relationship!

It’s Time to LET GO of Your Past Relationship!

by Gladys Diaz

I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…

Are you still holding onto a past relationship?

The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.

She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.

Now, I want you to know.  This is not a “weak woman.”

She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.

Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, let go of the pain, and move forward with her life.

The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to let go of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.

The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.

So, you throw yourself into your work.

You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.

You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.

Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.

You try not to feel.

There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.

However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’t let go of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to let go of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.

If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of letting go of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.

CLICK HERE to take your first step in letting go and moving forward.

On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the letting go processdetermine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to let go and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.

It’s time to let go.  You know it inside.  And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.

The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you.  Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!

 

Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is letting go.  If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!

 

 

 

 

 

 

What “Dying” and “Letting Go” Have to Do with Love

What “Dying” and “Letting Go” Have to Do with Love

by Gladys Diaz

Today, for those of us who are Christians, is Good Friday.

As a young girl, I always wondered why it was called “Good” Friday, when it marked such a sad day.  I honestly could not see how remembering a brutal death of someone we loved and followed was supposed to be something “good.”

It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that, without the death of Jesus, there would not and could not have been a resurrection.

Resurrection can only come after death.

Much like healing can only come after injury or illness…

… rebuilding can only come after destruction…

… renewed hope can only come after a period of doubt or hopelessness.

And, many times, true love comes after heartache.

I know that was the truth for me, for Michelle, and for so many of the women who we have helped around the world to find the love they desire and deserve.

It’s also what’s true if you want to create a true breakthrough and transformation in your love life.

See, there is a letting go — a “dying,” of sorts — that has to happen if you are going to truly open your heart to a new and extraordinary kind of love.

You have to be willing to let go of the past, of your fears and your heartache.  

You need to let go of your limiting beliefs and doubts, your judgments and expectations in order to create something completely new and different from what you have had and experienced in the past.

So, here’s my question to you:

What are you willing to let go of, once and for all, so that you can begin to welcome in the love that is waiting for you on the other side of your past?

What fear, doubt, belief or pattern are you ready to release so that new and extraordinary love can find its way to you?

What resentment, regret, or disempowering story are you finally willing to let go of so that you can create a new story — one that has you living the life and love your heart desires?

I know that letting go can feel scary, but it’s not quite so frightening when you don’t have to figure out how to do it on your own.  Remember, we’re here for you!

Remember: The past has no power over you, except for the power you grant it in the present.  Sometimes, letting go of just one fear or limiting belief can open the floodgates to letting new love in!
So let us know, what is one thing you are committed of letting go of so that you can have the love and happiness you desire and deserve?
Why I Didn’t Marry My Cat (A Love Story)

Why I Didn’t Marry My Cat (A Love Story)

Guest post by Katie Miranda

The other day, I received a beautiful gift from one of my clients, Katie.  She is a talented artist and jewelry designer with a wonderful sense of humor, and, in her beautifully creative way, she drew an illustration to go along with her testimonial about how she went from being a 40-something, cat-loving, divorcee who had lost hope in finally finding her true love to a now blissfully happy bride-to-be!

I was so moved by the gift that I knew I had to share it!  So, here it is — Katie’s testimonial on why she didn’t end up marrying her cat!

 

“Why Gladys is the Reason I Didn’t Marry My Cat”

 

Your married friends, your parents, your grandparents are all telling you to stop being so picky and settle down and get married.

God knows your parents didn’t face the dating challenges you are: the swiping, the ghosting, the cute guy/girl who turns out to not look at all like his/her picture, the “u r hot. what r u doing?” messages…

They tell you to “stop being so picky,” but what does that mean? Does it mean “settling”?

No, not at all! It means expanding your horizons and letting go of limiting beliefs.

 Here’s an example of what that meant for me.

So, there I was in 2015, a 40-year old woman, and the ink was just drying on my divorce paperwork. “Doomed to a life of cat lady spinsterhood” was the expression I saw on other people’s faces when I told them my age and marital status.

But I wasn’t giving up.

After all, now that I was divorced, I finally knew what wanted and DIDN’T want, right?

I hired Gladys to help me, because she had what I wanted: a happy, stable, long term marriage. I knew I could learn from her.

Gladys told me to make a list of primary qualities I wanted in my future husband: My list included:

1) hot

2) Muslim

3) financially stable

4) leads a healthy lifestyle

5) no children living with him

Tall order, you say, for a 40-year old divorcé?

The thing is, these were non-negotiable for me.

1) I had to be attracted to him.

2) Since I am Muslim I wanted to meet someone who would fast Ramadan with me, go on the hajj pilgrimage with me and do our prayers together. It was a matter of sharing the same values and being on the same page and I couldn’t get that with a non-Muslim.

3) My ex-husband was dependent on me financially and this caused a lot of problems in the marriage. I knew I didn’t want to go through that again.

4) What this meant to me is that I couldn’t live with a couch potato or someone who smoke or drank. I’m active and healthy and I wanted someone who shared these values.

5) I did not want to live with someone else’s kids or to be put in a step-mother role Not that there is anything wrong with that. It just wasn’t for me.

These things, weren’t “checklist items” for me.  They reflected the values and character traits that I wanted to attract in the man of my dreams – a man who was spiritual, trustworthy, responsible, and ambitious.  I wanted to share my life with a man I could trust and who inspired me.

Oh! I also had a list of secondary qualities, one of which, in my head, was a primary quality:

6) He has to have been born or at least raised in the US.

You see, my ex-husband was not born and raised in the US and I believed that one of the primary reasons for our divorce was a clash of cultures. (In reality, that wasn’t it, it was that he didn’t fit with some of my primary values.) I was dead set on never considering anyone who hadn’t been in the US for at least their teenage years. And no Saudis. Definitely no Saudis. I have a girlfriend who was married to a Saudi and the horror stories she told… Wow! Can’t have any guy telling me I have to cover my hair or that I can’t drive a car, right?

By the time 2016 rolled around, I had met and chatted with quite a few men over various Muslim and non-Muslim apps and sites. No one was a good fit; I was wracking up quite a collection of my own horror stories.

And then on Twitter, of all places, a cute guy DM’d me after I posted a photo from a café in Portland I had been to that day. He said he had also been there that day, but we had not seen each other. We chatted a little and then he asked me out for coffee. I looked at his profile and it said he lived in Al Qatif and Portland. I didn’t know where Al Qatif was, but I took a guess it was in Saudi Arabia and, sure enough, it was.

Oh no, not a Saudi! Too bad, cuz he was cute!

And it seemed we had a lot of shared interests, judging by his Twitter timeline. That’s the thing with Twitter, you can actually get a pretty good idea of what the person is actually into. He was into hiking, and nature, Bernie Sanders, cats, and women’s rights, just like me!

 Hmm, not exactly my stereotype of a Saudi… I wonder….

I cautiously agreed to go out to coffee and told Gladys I was concerned that he wasn’t born in the US and what would we truly have in common. I wanted to be able to sing the 80’s pop songs I grew up with in the car with my future husband. I thought this was a non-negotiable quality. In reality, it was an ego-based quality, not a values-based quality.

The funny thing is, one day we were in the car and he was singing something over and over.. “It’s a croo, croo, croo summer, leading me hero…” Eventually, I figured out that this was his interpretation of Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer,” a song he heard constantly growing up because there was an American radio station in Saudi Arabia.

“It’s a cruel, cruel summer Leaving me here on my own” 

We had a good laugh about that.

 He does know all the 80’s songs I grew up with! Hmmmm… I wonder…

Fast forward a year and a half, and we are planning our wedding! He is everything on my primary list and more. Oh, and he really loves my cat too!

If I had nixed him because he didn’t grow up in the US or because of my prejudices about Saudis, (I’d only ever met one Saudi before him, by the way!), I would have nixed the love of my life. 

When I hear women saying, “Well, he has to be a Pakistani, like me” or “He must be my exact religious sect”, or “He has to make a certain amount of money per year”, or “He has to be at least 6 feet tall,” I wonder what kind of amazing guys they might be missing out on. What if the man of your dreams makes $5000/year less than your requirement, or he is 5’11”?

Are you willing to miss out on the love of your life based on some numbers?

These are ego-based desires, not values-based desires. Just like my desire to meet and marry a man who was raised in the US.

Gladys helped me figure out what my desires were that were values-based so that I didn’t get caught up in ego-based desires and decline that date with my future husband.

The month before I met my fiancé, I asked Gladys what the one quality her clients who met the man of their dreams all shared. She said it was the belief that they would meet him.

That really stuck with me and I committed to believing I would meet my future man, and I did!

Good luck to all the single ladies out there. I know how hard it can be.

If you truly believe you will find your match and you’e willing to let go of limiting beliefs about what that person has to be, you will.

And, if you need help, like I did, talk to Gladys!

 

If you’re tired of letting your fears and doubts stop you from experiencing the love that you truly desire, we invite you to schedule time to speak with Michelle or me so that we can help you break through your fears and break through to love!

 

Ever Wonder if You Will Have the Love You Want?

Ever Wonder if You Will Have the Love You Want?

by Gladys Diaz

I wonder…

Do you ever ask yourself, “Is there any hope for me?  Will I ever really have the love and happiness I long for?”

If you have, you’re not alone.

I have been there.  I have been in that dark and lonely place where I wondered whether I would ever truly be loved and whether the deep sadness that filled my heart would be filled with joy again.

It wasn’t until I looked inside my own heart to find why it was that I believed that I couldn’t and wouldn’t be loved and then took the steps to break through those disempowering thoughts that were causing the very loneliness and sadness I was feeling that I called in the love of my life!

Now, to see me today, you might never imagine that I had those kinds of thoughts.  In fact, you might be under the impression that I’ve always been “lucky” and had a pretty easy life and healthy relationships.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t always true. There was a time in my life when I questioned whether I would ever truly love and be loved.

This is why I chose to share my story on Wednesday night’s teleclass: “The Self-Love Secrets Revealed.”

Truthfully, I hadn’t planned on going that deeply into my story, but I’m glad I did, because the feedback has been amazing!  

Women created real shifts in their lives as a result of both the story and the exercise I led them through, so, while I also hadn’t planned on sending out the replay, given the feedback I’ve received, decided to go ahead and make the recording available to you.

Why? 

Because most women keep wishing, hoping, and praying year after year for something to change in their lives, but they don’t take the steps they need to break through the heartache and create their heart’s desires.

And I know how empty and painful it can be when you desire to love and be loved, but you doubt whether you will experience that joy in your life.  I also know the exact steps you can take to get to break through to the other side and have the love you want, because I took those same steps myself, so I KNOW they work!

If you are ready to finally have the love you want, carve out the time for yourself this weekend to listen to the replay.

So, grab a cup of something yummy, your notebook or journal, you colored pens, highlighters, and sticky notes, and give yourself the gift of this teleclass.

<<Click here to access the replay of “Self-Love Secrets Revealed” and have a love breakthrough!>>

Once you’ve listened, if you’re truly inspired and ready to learn what your next steps should be, take me up on the invitation I make at the end of the call.  I only have a few left, so don’t hesitate if you know that this is YOUR TIME.

If you are ready and willing to listen and take the steps, I promise that I will make sure you have the guidance you need to have a real breakthrough in your love life!

 

 Imagine for a moment what it will be like when you are finally in the arms of the man who loves, adores, and wants nothing more than to make you happy and see you smile. THAT’S what’s waiting for you on the other side.  And that’s what Michelle and I are committed to helping you attract and create into your life. So make the time, listen to the recording, respond to the invitation, and let’s break through this together!   

<<Click here to listen to the replay and transform your love life!>>

 

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