Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by Gladys Diaz 

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? 

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?” 

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to. 

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself. 

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting. 

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by. 

Why…? 

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life. 

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling. 

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home. 

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving? 

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it. 

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate? 

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better. 

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear. 

Sound familiar? 

So… should you stay or should you go? 

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go. 

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support. 

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question. 

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.” 

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire. 

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire? 

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want? 

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed. 

Now for the question of whether you should stay. 

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women  who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.  

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action! 

This is why we’re  so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern! 

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams. 

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose! 

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.  

We’re here for you! 

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

If you’re dating, do you constantly fear that no man will stick around, causing you anxiety and stress through the process? 

If you’re in a relationship or married, do you torment yourself with thoughts that he’ll cheat or leave? 

Do you feel like it doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they’re going to stay, you still worry? 

If so, then you most likely have a fear of abandonment. 

And this doesn’t mean that you have a parent that left you… though it might. Any experience of feeling like someone left you, any experience as a child or teenager, can leave you with this fear. 

For me, our Dad died when we were 3 years old. My mom told us that he had “gone to live with the angels” but my little 3-year old brain didn’t understand what that meant. I just wondered what would make my dad leave me? That was the beginning of my abandonment fears. 

Then, when we were 15, we went to live with  other relatives because my mother, who had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and alcoholism (not a good combination!) left. I wondered why my mother didn’t love us? Did she love alcohol more? 

And that fear of separation and abandonment was reinforced. 

Because of those experiences a few behaviors were created. I became very needy. I constantly needed others to validate me and reassure me of their love. I had a need to prove how great I was and often found that in order to do that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was super jealous in relationships and would create unnecessary drama. 

In every relationship, I created one of two things. Either they would leave or I would leave before they could get the chance. 

I was never getting to experience true intimacy in a relationship because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

Can you relate?  

Here’s the thing. High-quality, integritous, confident men will not put up with this in a relationship. No matter how much they love you. If a man constantly feels like you don’t trust him or that he can’t make you happy, it affects his confidence and he will eventually withdraw or leave altogether.

Through your behavior you are actually creating the very thing you fear. 

So how do you overcome this fear before it destroys your relationship? 

  1. Ask yourself – Who am I being in my life and this relationship that has me think that it’s so easy to pick up and leave me?  – Asking yourself this question really opens up for you to explore the responsibility for your behavior. It also will help you to uncover what happened that had you make the decision that you were and will continue to be abandoned. 
  2. Resolve – completely accept the reality of what happened. – For me that was 1. My dad died and 2. My mom needed help and had to leave. Those are the facts. That is the truth without any of my meaning-making behind it. Once you can 100% accept the reality of what happened you can step into your power. 
  3. Dismantle the underlying beliefs. – Once you have uncovered the core belief, where it came from, and resolve it for yourself, you can uncover the other limiting beliefs about yourself. Once I accepted the reality I started to get that I am loveable. I will be okay. I am worth sticking around for. 

And that’s when relationships started to get good. 

Because the truth is… love is not enough. Relationships take love, respect, communication and trust to work. 

So… will you do the HeartWork? And if you need support will you schedule a call with us? Sometimes this is tough work that having  support could make all the difference for you! What if you could liberate yourself from fear and anxiety in your relationships? How much would that be worth to you? 

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic. 

These are all human emotions. 

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.” 

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away. 

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.  

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions. 

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting.  The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up.  Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them. 

So how do you release toxic emotions? 

1. Feel it. 

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it. 

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having? 

Is it causing you to lash out? 

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it? 

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness? 

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people? 

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you? 

Another place to look to how toxic emotions  may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies. 

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping?  What is your body telling you? 

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you? 

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself:  Where, energetically, am I in breakdown?  “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it. 

Once you’ve  done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion.  Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening,  and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition. 

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long.  Instead, allow yourself  to feel  them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires. 

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them.  You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want.  And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of? 

Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?  

Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love. 

If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back,  but just seem to be stuck. 

If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how. 

The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t  allow you to move forward. 

And how else is it impacting you?

To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results. 

What are you currently experiencing? 

Are you going on dates or are you holding back? 

If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process? 

Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves? 

Is there something wrong with every single person you  go  out with? 

Are you not attracted to anyone

Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?

No,  you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date  every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then  you may be holding onto someone from the past.

Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy  to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!

Sound familiar? 

If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious

Ask yourself, 

What’s really going on here? 

Why am I not feeling connection? 

Why am I never attracted to anyone? 

What’s really holding me back?

Get curious  

You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…” 

“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?” 

“I wonder why I can’t let go?” 

“I wonder what that person represents for me?” 

“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”

When it comes to breakups, it  would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone? 

It’s okay to love someone and let them go.

Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is  as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.  

And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.

When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever! 

But only if you are open to it. 

Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you. 

I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!

Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.

We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love  right now! 

The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative. 

We’re going to help you create your Love  Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020! 

The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.  

It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.

Click here to create the love you want in 2020!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

It’s Time to LET GO of Your Past Relationship!

It’s Time to LET GO of Your Past Relationship!

by Gladys Diaz

I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…

Are you still holding onto a past relationship?

The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.

She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.

Now, I want you to know.  This is not a “weak woman.”

She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.

Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, let go of the pain, and move forward with her life.

The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to let go of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.

The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.

So, you throw yourself into your work.

You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.

You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.

Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.

You try not to feel.

There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.

However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’t let go of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to let go of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.

If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of letting go of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.

CLICK HERE to take your first step in letting go and moving forward.

On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the letting go processdetermine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to let go and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.

It’s time to let go.  You know it inside.  And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.

The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you.  Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!

 

Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is letting go.  If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Life Not Working? It’s Not Your “Fault”!

Love Life Not Working? It’s Not Your “Fault”!

 by Gladys Diaz

 

Have you ever asked yourself:

Why don’t I have the relationship that I want?

 

You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.

You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.

You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.

 

We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.

And so have many of our clients. 

 

As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.

You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.

Things are different when it comes to love, however. 

 

First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.

Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.

You could also settle for less than what you really want.  However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.

Or you could give up on having the relationship you want.  So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving.  Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!

 

So, what is the alternative? 

Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!

And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!

 

See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.

The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it!  Not on your own.

This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.

It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.

Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.

 

The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.

Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!

What you need to do is figure out:

  1. what is causing the same patterns to show up;
  2. how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
  3. how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!

 

If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.

 

Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!

All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.

One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.

Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!

Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it.  However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.

So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

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