by Gladys Diaz
I know it’s frustrating…
You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.
You go out and have an amazing time.
You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.
He asks you out on another date… and then another.
Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…
You stop going on line.
You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)
You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)
And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.
I get it.
It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.
And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.
The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.
The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”
Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.
Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.
Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.
The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.
When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.
This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.
This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.
The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.
Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.
Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.
He doesn’t have to ask you out.
And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.
You’re NOT in a relationship.
He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.
Which is why we recommend you do the same!
Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.
You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).
What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.
- You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
- You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
- You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
- And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.
Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.
As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!
If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.
I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!
by Gladys Diaz
Is your life telling you something?
If you want to know, just look at your past and your present.
The lessons we most need tend to repeat themselves until they are finally learned!
And, if you want to know where the patterns of your life begin, just notice your thoughts.
The average human being has between 12,000 and 60,000 each day!
Unfortunately, 80% of those thoughts are negative and 95% of them are the same exact thoughts you had the day before (and sometimes decades before!).
So, if 80% of your thoughts about dating, love, relationships, or your partner are negative, then is it any wonder why you don’t have the kind of loving relationship you desire?
Now, before you start beating yourself up (or deleting this email) because of that last sentence, hear me out.
I know you’re not intentionally choosing to block love from your life.
A lot of these pervasive and repetitive thoughts are happening subconsciously.
Think about how difficult it can be to break a bad habit. Although you know that eating an entire bag of chips while watching TV or procrastinating working on a big project, or not organizing your receipts before tax season are all things that will eventually have a negative consequence, you still eat the chips, spend hours on social media, and telling yourself that you’ll organize those receipts tomorrow.
Or, even though you know that sleeping with a guy too soon rarely turns into a solid, committed relationship and that you’re going to feel hurt, used, and disappointed (again) if you sleep with him, you tell yourself that “This time might be different.” You put aside your boundaries and values for a few moments of pleasure, even thought you know things are probably going to turn out the same way again.
Another example is holding onto a relationship you know is not going anywhere or that is simply not right for you. Even all the signs are pointing to “This is not it,” you keep holding on, hoping things will change, even though you know in your heart of hearts that it won’t.
Why do you do that?
Because the human brain is a creature of habit and you will hold on to what you know – what’s familiar – even though you know it’s stopping you from having the kind of loving relationship and life you really want.
So, the negative consequences reinforce the negative thought patterns, until you start relating to them as “the truth, and eventually find yourself giving up on your dreams.
So, how do you break this vicious cycle?
You learn how to transform your mind so that you can create new results.
You learn how to completely break apart those thought patterns and replace them with new ones – but not simply through “positive thinking” or “positive self-talk.”
You learn how to truly go into your subconscious and uproot the thoughts that have been creating real barriers to you attracting and having the love you want.
Listen to your life. It’s telling you something.
It has been for a while now.
Stop ignoring the signs that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working for you.
You can choose to continue repeating the same thoughts and actions and creating the same results. If you do, there’s a huge chance you’ll regret it and then wonder why things simply never worked out for you.
Or you can choose to break through and break free from anything that’s standing between you and having the love you want.
It’s only in letting go of the past that you can create space in your mind, life, and heart to welcome in new and extraordinary love.
As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
You can have the love you want.
You simply have to let go of what hasn’t worked so that you can have what your heart most desires.
Are you ready to let go of what isn’t working so that you can have the love you want?
If so, click below and schedule time to talk with one of us. We will help you identify what your major Love Barriers have been and give you a step-by-step plan for letting them go so that you can have the love you want!
Click to talk with one of us!
by Gladys Diaz
I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…
Are you still holding onto a past relationship?
The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.
She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.
Now, I want you to know. This is not a “weak woman.”
She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.
Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, let go of the pain, and move forward with her life.
The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to let go of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.
The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.
So, you throw yourself into your work.
You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.
You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.
Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.
You try not to feel.
There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.
However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’t let go of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to let go of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.
If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of letting go of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.
CLICK HERE to take your first step in letting go and moving forward.
On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the letting go process, determine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to let go and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.
It’s time to let go. You know it inside. And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.
The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you. Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!
Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is letting go. If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever asked yourself:
Why don’t I have the relationship that I want?
You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.
You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.
You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.
We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.
And so have many of our clients.
As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.
You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.
Things are different when it comes to love, however.
First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.
Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.
You could also settle for less than what you really want. However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.
Or you could give up on having the relationship you want. So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving. Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!
So, what is the alternative?
Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!
And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!
See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.
The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it! Not on your own.
This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.
It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.
Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.
The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.
Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!
What you need to do is figure out:
- what is causing the same patterns to show up;
- how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
- how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!
If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.
Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!
All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.
One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.
Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!
Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it. However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.
So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!
by Gladys Diaz
Let me ask you…
What is the most important thing to you, when it comes to romantic relationships?
If you’re like the majority of the women, you’re answer is probably something like, “I want to be with someone who loves and accepts me exactly the way I am.”
Not too much to ask for, right?
Who doesn’t want to be fully loved and accepted?
The problem is that, while many people say they want to be unconditionally loved, not all of them are BEing unconditionally loving.
Don’t believe me? Have you ever said something like this about your partner:
“If only he would ______, THEN we could be happy.”
Or, what about:
“The only reason we’re not happy is because he ____.”
Listen, I know there are things about your partner you may not like. I’ve been with my husband for 19 years. I love him with all my heart… AND… there are things he does that I don’t like.
For years, I tried to convince, encourage, and persuade him to be less angry, more peaceful, less negative, and more positive.
I read him articles and book excerpts, I gave tons of unsolicited advice. Heck, I even took him with me to course, saying that it was “for us,” and then we weren’t allowed to even sit together for 3 full days!
On the way home, in the middle of an argument about the course, we stopped at a red light. He turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and said, “When are you going to stop trying to fix and change me? I haven’t changed. THIS is who you married. THIS is who you promised to love!”
In the moment, I wanted to say, “I’m not trying to fix and change you!”
I wish I could have, but I couldn’t.
He was right.
All of the “helpful” suggestions, videos, books, and courses I would share with him were because I wanted him to change so that we could be happy.
What I didn’t realize is that with every suggestion, paragraph, and quote I shared, I was sending the man I promised to love forever the message that I didn’t truly love and accept him.
Thanks to that…um… “conversation,” I realized what I was doing and the impact it was having on my marriage. Shortly after, I began focusing all of my reading, studying, and coursework on learning how I could be more loving and accepting.
I took the focus off of him and put it all onto becoming the best version of me.
I began learning how to say what I thought, felt, and wanted in a way that focused on me and my needs, and not on what he wasn’t doing to meet them.
I started really listening to my husband and seeking to understand him and his viewpoints and opinions.
And something AMAZING happened!
In a few short months, we were laughing again.
He was being more positive and peaceful.
We were barely arguing.
And the romance and fun was back in our marriage!
Who knew that focusing on ME would inspire HIM to change?
(By the way, those are HIS words, not mine!)
I don’t know what you are going through in your marriage, but if you are tired of telling your husband what he needs to do or do differently, how he needs to change, and all of the reasons why he’s responsible for your unhappiness, AND you want to change that dynamic to one where there is really unconditional love and happiness in the relationship, then wouldn’t it make sense to figure out how to do that?
Wouldn’t it be worth it to learn how to easily turn arguing and the “me vs. you” dynamic in the relationship into truly connecting and into a “you and me” dynamic?
If that’s what you want for yourself and your relationship, then CLICK HERE and share with me what the biggest challenge you are facing in your relationship is.
I promise to respond to your message and give you some real next steps you can take to start turning your relationship around so that you can finally have the happy, loving, peaceful relationship you really want!
You don’t have to go through years of making the same mistakes I made.
Let’s figure out what you can do to make your relationship the kind of happy, unconditionally loving relationship you’ve always wanted!
CLICK HERE! I’m here to help!
It doesn’t have to be hard. I promise!
by Gladys Diaz
This past weekend I took my kids ice-skating. I know… It was supposed to be the first weekend of summer, but the nonstop rain in Florida totally washed out any plans to spend a long weekend at the beach, so we went for Plan B.
It’s always interesting to me how those first few seconds on the ice can feel so vulnerable. While I have been ice skating before, I’m no pro. As I stepped out onto the slippery ice, I felt as if my feet had minds of their own. Even though I wanted to stand still, my feet were slipping back and forth under me. While I wanted to glide carefree on the ice, I was grabbing onto the barrier wall for dear life.
The loud little voice in my head kept repeating:
“Don’t fall! Whatever you do, don’t fall!”
I kept looking at the kids who were racing around the rink — seemingly fearlessly — and all I was focusing on was “Don’t fall!”
Every muscle in my body was committed to not slipping, falling, and hurting myself on that ice. It was hard to relax and enjoy myself when all my attention was on making sure I stayed upright!
Even when I eventually did move away from the wall and started skating a little faster, the thought of not falling and getting hurt remained my top priority.
And that’s how it can be when it comes to love and relationships once you’ve been hurt.
You try to go through the motions, doing what you think you’re supposed to do, pretending you and your heart are open to welcoming and receiving love, but through it all, your mind is focused on: “Don’t get hurt!”
So, you try to relax. You try to enjoy the date or the time with your partner, but, in the background, every fiber of your being is looking for signs of danger — signs that you might get hurt again.
Now, of course it’s natural not to want to get hurt. But when your main focus is on not getting hurt, few things happen:
- You cheat yourself out of truly being present and enjoying what is happening in the moment
- You’re consistently looking for “warning signs” and red flags, rather than allowing yourself to get to really see what is happening
- You protect yourself to the point that you are always guarded, which does not allow the other person to truly connect with you
Worst of all, you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself from truly opening up, having fun, and enjoying the experience of being with someone who probably has no intention of hurting you, but, because you are hyper-focused on protecting yourself, you never really get to relax and enjoy the experience.
You don’t have to be a moving target for pain, but you also don’t have to have your guard up and guard and prevent yourself from actually opening up to loving and being loved!
If you’re ready to explore how to bring down your guard so that you can attract and experience the love you want, click the link below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
CLICK HERE to break through to the love you want!
On this call, we will look at what your ultimate goal when it comes to love and relationships is, what it is that is having you guard and protect your heart, and what some conscious and safe ways to bring down those barriers are WITHOUT putting yourself at risk for imminent heartbreak!
Love doesn’t have to be hard or painful. It can be easy, fulfilling, and fun.
Step away from the wall and let go. We’ve got your hand and we’re not going to let you fall!