How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by Gladys Diaz 

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with? 

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow? 

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. 

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire. 

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working? 

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him. 

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man. 

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating. 

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want? 

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly: 

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values? 

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations? 

Do you try to change who you are to appease others? 

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers. 

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from? 

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship. 

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it. 

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this:  You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal. 

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back. 

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re  blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

by Gladys Diaz 

The last couple of weeks have brought to our attention something we’ve been preparing you for since March. 

Since the moment quarantine began, we’ve been anticipating a trend of more divorces to sweep the nation — and, actually, the world — in the months to follow. Unfortunately, it seems we were right. 

Just within this past week, multiple high-profile relationships have announced their plans to split up, all citing circumstances that just could no longer be ignored during quarantine. 

We’ve spoken with many women over the past several weeks who are feeling the exact same way in their relationship.

Here’s the thing).

Any issue that has come up in a relationship during this time was there before the pandemic. It’s simply been amplified because you can no longer escape it or distract yourself from facing it. 

The financial stress, fear of the unknown, health complications, overwhelm and anxiety that we’ve faced over these last several months, coupled with underlying problems in a relationship, are enough to push anyone over the edge. 

Quarantine has been the last straw in the proverbial bucket.

That being said, calling it quits is not the only option! 

It’s heartbreaking, because no one gets married expecting to get divorced, and we know that divorce comes with a lot of financial and emotional expenses, on top of everything else. 

Ending a long-term relationship is a big deal, sometimes costing upwards of $20,000-$30,000 in legal expenses, not to mention the work of splitting your assets, selling your home, and the strain it puts on the family unit and kids.

Now, we’re not saying that divorce or breaking up isn’t sometimes the best option, but it’s usually not, and it’s definitely not the only option.

On the spectrum between the most passionate, loving relationship and ending it altogether, there’s something in the middle – and that’s the opportunity to transform the relationship.  

So, if there is another option, why not try doing the Heartwork

When you do, everything transforms. 

And, when we say “everything,” we mean that the relationship transforms, as well as the family dynamics, work relationships, and  opportunities that open up.

Because you don’t just work on the relationship – you transform yourself in the process!

Last week, one of our clients said, “I’m so grateful I’m going through this program right now because I’m hearing what my friends are going through who aren’t getting support.” 

When you choose to get support, when you choose to see that it may be you that’s getting in the way of your own happiness, you allow yourself to recreate your marriage or relationship in a way that didn’t exist before. 

I remember one day, back when Ric and I were struggling in our relationship. I had lost my temper, thrown food in his car and he’d left. (Wow, we’ve come a long way from that!)

I remember thinking, “It’s got to be easier to be by myself!

I also remember knowing that if I was going to make the decision to call it quits, then I was going to need to do everything I could do to make it work. And I knew I hadn’t done that  yet.

Sixteen years later, I’m soooooo glad I chose to figure out what wasn’t working and to do what I needed to do to transform myself from the inside out, which completely transformed my relationship! 

So, what about you? 

On a scale of 1 to 10 where is your relationship?

Has the pressure of the last few months brought up those underlying issues that it’s time to address? 

Have you caught yourself wondering if it would be easier to just throw in the towel?

Do you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work?

If you haven’t talked to us, you haven’t done everything

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Are they talking to me?”, yes we are, and this is for you. 

If, as you’ve been reading, you’ve been thinking, “I wonder if this would work for me?” or maybe even, “I wonder if it still wouldn’t work,” we invite you to book a call.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s going on for you and your relationship, what your options are, and how you can turn things around.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Here’s what we know: We are experts in relationships, and our mission is for every woman — including YOU — to be in the passionate, loving, relationship of her dreams. 

We also know that if you do nothing, nothing changes.

Let us be there for you. 

Book a call now. 

It could save your relationship.

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

How to Be Part of the Solution

How to Be Part of the Solution

by Gladys Diaz 

Today our message is a unique one. 

The past week has brought much heartache to our country and around the world. 

Massive amounts of fear are circulating – mixed with the emotions of frustration, anger and sadness. And all are understandable.

We aren’t pretending to know exactly what our People of Color (POC) brothers and sisters are experiencing. However, we do know that our hearts are feeling compassion, empathy and heartbreak for what is happening around us. 

You know our stand is love, and we want nothing more than to be part of the solution at this time. Our intention is to create connection, to listen, and to extend compassion and empathy to all. 

I read a quote from Elie Wiesel this week that deeply touched me. He says:

We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.” 

This is why now is not the time to say, “All lives matter.” 

Do all lives matter? Absolutely! But in this moment, RIGHT NOW, it’s the time to take a stand for the injustice against black people that has gone on long enough in our country. 

If you’re feeling anger by what others are saying or doing – feel your feelings. They are not bad or wrong and are completely understandable. Your feelings are your right and it’s important that you process them! 

After the feelings are processed is when you can then communicate powerfully and clearly so that people can hear what you’re saying. 

And, to be clear, we realize that rioting is happening, and we want to distinguish between “protests” and “riots,” and know that some people are collapsing the two.

Protests give people an opportunity to take a stand and join with others so that they have one voice. Riots, on the other hand, involve damaging people and property.

Now is the time to ask yourself: How can I be part of the solution? 

 

    • Listen to what is being shared. Just listen.
    • Ask questions, don’t assume. Seek to understand what is needed.
    • Educate yourself so that you gain more confidence in your ability to move forward in this. 
    • Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, take a step back and ask: “What would have someone be/react that way?”  
    • Write your Legislators!
    • Call and let your local Police Department know your stance. 
    • Take a stand for something.

What we can’t do is ignore what’s happening or wait for someone else to provide the solution. 

This is only going to get resolved when everyone comes together! 

This is our world, our community, and we get to take a stand for what we believe in. 

Our stand is unity and love. 

We may not get it right, but we are not going to stay silent. 

How about you? 

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

You can watch the Love Chat with the Love Twins covering this topic HERE. Click to watch!

Below you will find some of the resources we have been reading and using to help us create a better understanding of how we can be part of the solution.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by Gladys Diaz 

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? 

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?” 

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to. 

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself. 

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting. 

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by. 

Why…? 

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life. 

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling. 

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home. 

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving? 

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it. 

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate? 

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better. 

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear. 

Sound familiar? 

So… should you stay or should you go? 

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go. 

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support. 

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question. 

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.” 

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire. 

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire? 

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want? 

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed. 

Now for the question of whether you should stay. 

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women  who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.  

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action! 

This is why we’re  so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern! 

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams. 

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose! 

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.  

We’re here for you! 

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

How to “COVID-19 Proof” Your Relationship

How to “COVID-19 Proof” Your Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Is his breathing starting to drive you crazy? 

Do you feel like you’re not getting any alone time?

Are you arguing about every little thing? 

We ask these questions a little lightheartedly because we know feeling these things right now doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It’s simply that the stress in your relationship may be rising as you’re being forced to spend more time together  than usual in what is probably starting to feel like a very confined space.

Also, with extra time and less distractions, the things you’ve been too busy or too distracted to address in your relationship are coming up. 

The pressure may be starting to rise, and you may be feeling like you’re about to burst! (Remember those old pressure-cookers? The way they would whistle louder and louder meaning it was getting closer to the exploding point? Are you beginning to feel like that?!?)   

You know, just the other day Arnie and I were having a conversation and I was starting to feel frustrated. It just didn’t feel like he was understanding my point of view and I was beginning to feel the pressure rising! 

The conversation was starting to get a little heated, but then I remembered… “What if he just sees it differently?” 

Remembering that people process information differently (especially men and women!) has the power to change everything. In those heated moments, it can be difficult to remember that , but it is so important! 

So, what can you do to bring the stress level down a notch? 

The different circumstances that we are all currently experiencing are magnifying the need to have good communication skills in place in your relationship, because, when you don’t have the skills you’ll either 1) withdraw from your partner, or 2) explode and word-vomit all over him! 

Neither of these things will lead to the loving, connected, supportive relationship you want to have with your partner.

When it comes to communication there are three very important things to remember. 

  1. What you say.
  2. How you say it. 
  3. The energy behind what you’re saying. 

Let’s focus on that third one. 

A large part of communicating effectively is thinking about how the message is going to be received. Now, you can’t control how the other person is going to hear what you’re saying, but you can be responsible for the intention and energy behind your words. 

Before you speak, ask yourself, “What do I want to create in the space between us?” 

Setting the intention of creating love, connection, and understanding before a heated conversation begins changes what happens during the conversation and the outcome drastically. 

The second thing you can do if you’ve found yourself having a stressful conversation with your partner is take a step back and talk about what isn’t working from a neutral state by using nouns and verbs. 

What does that look like? 

Saying “When you did ____________ it made me ___________” doesn’t work, because it immediately sets your partner up to defend himself.. 

Instead, when you say, “What doesn’t work is yelling” or “What doesn’t work is blaming,” it changes the conversation. Instead of getting defensive, you are both able to identify what isn’t working and shift it. 

And lastly, if things are getting heated and you’re not seeing a loving and productive way out of an impending blow-up, then call a time-out. 

Take a 5-10 minute break to think about what the other person is saying and feeling. Stay awake in your relationship and allow time to process your own thoughts and feelings before continuing the conversation, if needed.  

It’s also important to allow for disagreements. 

Like I shared in the example above, sometimes we are just going to see things differently.  You are two completely different human beings with your own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs.  Remember that many of those differences are the things that attracted you to one another, so allow for the disagreements, making respect a top priority in your communication, even when you don’t see eye-to-eye on something.

All of these communication skills work really well in romantic relationships, and you can also practice  them with everyone in your life. 

It is not enough just to know what to do.  As Tony Robbins says: Knowledge is only potential power., you get to do it. 

Knowledge only has the power to transform and make a difference when it is used effectively.  So, use these skills with your partner, with your kids, with your co-workers. 

We are all under pressure right now, and that doesn’t mean our relationships have to break down.

If you have a specific issue you’d like to discuss with your partner, and you’re not sure how to do it in a way that leads to more love and partnership, we’re opening up extra spots on our calendar to help you prepare for and have the conversation in a way that will lead to more love, connection, and partnership with the man you love. 

Simply click below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session, and we’ll walk you through exactly what to say and do so that you can communicate and connect with your partner now.

Click here to schedule a Communication Love Breakthrough Session.

We are going to get through this, and we’re going to get through it together

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic. 

These are all human emotions. 

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.” 

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away. 

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.  

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions. 

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting.  The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up.  Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them. 

So how do you release toxic emotions? 

1. Feel it. 

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it. 

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having? 

Is it causing you to lash out? 

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it? 

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness? 

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people? 

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you? 

Another place to look to how toxic emotions  may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies. 

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping?  What is your body telling you? 

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you? 

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself:  Where, energetically, am I in breakdown?  “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it. 

Once you’ve  done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion.  Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening,  and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition. 

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long.  Instead, allow yourself  to feel  them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires. 

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them.  You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want.  And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Pin It on Pinterest