Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

by Gladys Diaz 

How do you keep the love growing? 

How do you keep the relationship from going stale?

How do you keep your marriage from getting complacent, too comfortable, or boring? 

There is something we hear a lot from women. A very common concern is “Things are  great now, but what happens when _________ (you fill in the blank).” 

How do you not just create a relationship, but a long-lasting relationship that gets better and better with time? 

We find that women who have this concern are waiting for the other shoe to drop — even when things are going well. They have a fear –  whether it’s that they’re afraid he’s not trustworthy, that  they’ll eventually fall into old habits and ruin things, or they’re sure there’s something wrong with him that they just haven’t seen yet – and  it’s causing them to sabotage their relationships over and over again. 

The problem when you are in this cycle of waiting for something to go wrong is that your focus is on what isn’t going to work, versus what’s right and going well in the present . 

See if this sounds familiar… 

One of our past clients found herself in this pattern. After years and years of dating, she finally found herself in the relationship of her dreams. She had met a wonderful man, and they had an incredible time together. He would fly to see her and pay to fly her out to visit him. Things were going wonderfully, and he was starting to initiate conversations about where they wanted to take the relationship next. EEEEE – exciting! 

One weekend, he flew out to see her and she found herself acting strange. She could feel herself pulling away and trying to withdraw, and when he would ask what was wrong, she would respond like most women do by saying, “Nothing!” 

Well, he was persistent with asking her what was going on, and eventually she told him that she could feel herself pulling away because she was waiting for something to go wrong. – How could things actually be this good

Instead of being overjoyed and in the moment about how wonderful things were for her then, she was worried about what might happen to ruin things in the future. 

Have you ever experienced yourself doing something similar? 

This pattern of behavior is so detrimental and destructive to relationships, because when men are having to constantly defend themselves against things they aren’t doing, or feel like they’re paying the price for men who came before  them, they get exhausted by it, and the love and intimacy starts to chip away. 

When you have a history of bad relationships or trauma from your childhood, you often spend time and energy in your current relationship looking for that same history to repeat itself as a way to prepare yourself for what may happen. 

The thing is, if you go into a relationship, even with the perfect man, doing this, you will sabotage it. 

So, how does this show up for you? 

Does it show up like it did for this client, where you pull away when things are going well? 

Do you always feel like you have to do something to either “fix” the situation or the person you’re dating? 

Do you create drama in your relationship so that you can feel the dips of things going badly in order to feel the high that comes with things being good again? 

Here’s how you can recognize when you’re in the pattern of drama or looking for things to go wrong in our relationship: 

You’re telling someone about something that isn’t working in your life and they give you a solution, and you respond with a “Yeah, but…!”

Someone presents a solution to you, and you follow-up with yet another problem that needs to be solved.. 

No matter how well things are going, you don’t allow yourself to enjoy the good times because you are preparing yourself for the impending doom that is on its way. 

Recognizing this pattern is one of the first steps in the Heartwork that we teach, so that you can start training yourself to experience happiness and joy. Getting to a place where you understand that “peace” does not equal “boring” is a great place  to begin.

Here’s the truth: Life comes with enough challenges that you don’t want or need to u create more of them. 

We often hear the phrase, “Hard times are part of being in a relationship,,” and that makes us cringe! Yes, hard times come sometimes.  That’s part of life. But hard times are not a requirement in a relationship.

Our goal is for every one of our clients to experience joy, love, and excitement in a relationship and to know that those can come on an ordinary day simply because you’re together

If you’re looking for more ways to break this pattern of drama and expecting bad things to happen in your relationship, please join us tomorrow for our  Reignite the Spark Masterclass

This 3-hour event is for every woman who is looking to make her relationship, partnership, or marriage the best that it’s ever been. We want to help you take things to the next level to experience even more love, excitement and joy in your life and relationship than ever before. 

Click HERE to register NOW!

Marriage doesn’t have to be hard or get boring., Feeling peaceful and comfortable with your partner  is a good thing. And just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the passion has to fade. 

When I’m sitting on my couch and I look over at Ric and my boys,  I think “This is it! This is what joy feels like! This is what I was waiting for!” 

That’s what we want for you, too, NAME!!

Join us tomorrow for Reignite the Spark!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected? 

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is:  Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether? 

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way. 

Here’s how it works. 

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past. 

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt. 

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back. 

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly. 

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient. 

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day. 

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship.  I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted. 

Fast forward to now. 

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head. 

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears? 

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it. 

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have? 

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light. 

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice? 

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question. 

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship. 

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again. 

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year,  it’s going to be better than ever! 

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by Gladys Diaz 

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with? 

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow? 

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. 

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire. 

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working? 

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him. 

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man. 

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating. 

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want? 

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly: 

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values? 

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations? 

Do you try to change who you are to appease others? 

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers. 

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from? 

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship. 

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it. 

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this:  You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal. 

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back. 

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re  blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

by Gladys Diaz 

The last couple of weeks have brought to our attention something we’ve been preparing you for since March. 

Since the moment quarantine began, we’ve been anticipating a trend of more divorces to sweep the nation — and, actually, the world — in the months to follow. Unfortunately, it seems we were right. 

Just within this past week, multiple high-profile relationships have announced their plans to split up, all citing circumstances that just could no longer be ignored during quarantine. 

We’ve spoken with many women over the past several weeks who are feeling the exact same way in their relationship.

Here’s the thing).

Any issue that has come up in a relationship during this time was there before the pandemic. It’s simply been amplified because you can no longer escape it or distract yourself from facing it. 

The financial stress, fear of the unknown, health complications, overwhelm and anxiety that we’ve faced over these last several months, coupled with underlying problems in a relationship, are enough to push anyone over the edge. 

Quarantine has been the last straw in the proverbial bucket.

That being said, calling it quits is not the only option! 

It’s heartbreaking, because no one gets married expecting to get divorced, and we know that divorce comes with a lot of financial and emotional expenses, on top of everything else. 

Ending a long-term relationship is a big deal, sometimes costing upwards of $20,000-$30,000 in legal expenses, not to mention the work of splitting your assets, selling your home, and the strain it puts on the family unit and kids.

Now, we’re not saying that divorce or breaking up isn’t sometimes the best option, but it’s usually not, and it’s definitely not the only option.

On the spectrum between the most passionate, loving relationship and ending it altogether, there’s something in the middle – and that’s the opportunity to transform the relationship.  

So, if there is another option, why not try doing the Heartwork

When you do, everything transforms. 

And, when we say “everything,” we mean that the relationship transforms, as well as the family dynamics, work relationships, and  opportunities that open up.

Because you don’t just work on the relationship – you transform yourself in the process!

Last week, one of our clients said, “I’m so grateful I’m going through this program right now because I’m hearing what my friends are going through who aren’t getting support.” 

When you choose to get support, when you choose to see that it may be you that’s getting in the way of your own happiness, you allow yourself to recreate your marriage or relationship in a way that didn’t exist before. 

I remember one day, back when Ric and I were struggling in our relationship. I had lost my temper, thrown food in his car and he’d left. (Wow, we’ve come a long way from that!)

I remember thinking, “It’s got to be easier to be by myself!

I also remember knowing that if I was going to make the decision to call it quits, then I was going to need to do everything I could do to make it work. And I knew I hadn’t done that  yet.

Sixteen years later, I’m soooooo glad I chose to figure out what wasn’t working and to do what I needed to do to transform myself from the inside out, which completely transformed my relationship! 

So, what about you? 

On a scale of 1 to 10 where is your relationship?

Has the pressure of the last few months brought up those underlying issues that it’s time to address? 

Have you caught yourself wondering if it would be easier to just throw in the towel?

Do you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work?

If you haven’t talked to us, you haven’t done everything

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Are they talking to me?”, yes we are, and this is for you. 

If, as you’ve been reading, you’ve been thinking, “I wonder if this would work for me?” or maybe even, “I wonder if it still wouldn’t work,” we invite you to book a call.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s going on for you and your relationship, what your options are, and how you can turn things around.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Here’s what we know: We are experts in relationships, and our mission is for every woman — including YOU — to be in the passionate, loving, relationship of her dreams. 

We also know that if you do nothing, nothing changes.

Let us be there for you. 

Book a call now. 

It could save your relationship.

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

How to Be Part of the Solution

How to Be Part of the Solution

by Gladys Diaz 

Today our message is a unique one. 

The past week has brought much heartache to our country and around the world. 

Massive amounts of fear are circulating – mixed with the emotions of frustration, anger and sadness. And all are understandable.

We aren’t pretending to know exactly what our People of Color (POC) brothers and sisters are experiencing. However, we do know that our hearts are feeling compassion, empathy and heartbreak for what is happening around us. 

You know our stand is love, and we want nothing more than to be part of the solution at this time. Our intention is to create connection, to listen, and to extend compassion and empathy to all. 

I read a quote from Elie Wiesel this week that deeply touched me. He says:

We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.” 

This is why now is not the time to say, “All lives matter.” 

Do all lives matter? Absolutely! But in this moment, RIGHT NOW, it’s the time to take a stand for the injustice against black people that has gone on long enough in our country. 

If you’re feeling anger by what others are saying or doing – feel your feelings. They are not bad or wrong and are completely understandable. Your feelings are your right and it’s important that you process them! 

After the feelings are processed is when you can then communicate powerfully and clearly so that people can hear what you’re saying. 

And, to be clear, we realize that rioting is happening, and we want to distinguish between “protests” and “riots,” and know that some people are collapsing the two.

Protests give people an opportunity to take a stand and join with others so that they have one voice. Riots, on the other hand, involve damaging people and property.

Now is the time to ask yourself: How can I be part of the solution? 

 

    • Listen to what is being shared. Just listen.
    • Ask questions, don’t assume. Seek to understand what is needed.
    • Educate yourself so that you gain more confidence in your ability to move forward in this. 
    • Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, take a step back and ask: “What would have someone be/react that way?”  
    • Write your Legislators!
    • Call and let your local Police Department know your stance. 
    • Take a stand for something.

What we can’t do is ignore what’s happening or wait for someone else to provide the solution. 

This is only going to get resolved when everyone comes together! 

This is our world, our community, and we get to take a stand for what we believe in. 

Our stand is unity and love. 

We may not get it right, but we are not going to stay silent. 

How about you? 

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

You can watch the Love Chat with the Love Twins covering this topic HERE. Click to watch!

Below you will find some of the resources we have been reading and using to help us create a better understanding of how we can be part of the solution.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by Gladys Diaz 

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? 

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?” 

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to. 

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself. 

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting. 

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by. 

Why…? 

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life. 

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling. 

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home. 

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving? 

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it. 

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate? 

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better. 

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear. 

Sound familiar? 

So… should you stay or should you go? 

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go. 

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support. 

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question. 

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.” 

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire. 

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire? 

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want? 

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed. 

Now for the question of whether you should stay. 

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women  who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.  

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action! 

This is why we’re  so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern! 

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams. 

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose! 

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.  

We’re here for you! 

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Pin It on Pinterest