3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

by Gladys Diaz

I know it’s frustrating…

You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.

You go out and have an amazing time.

You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.

He asks you out on another date… and then another.

Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…

You stop going on line.

You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)

You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)

Then…

Crickets.

And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.

I get it.

It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.

And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.

The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.

The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”

Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.

Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.

Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.

The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.

When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.

This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.

This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.

The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.

Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.

Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.

He doesn’t have to ask you out.

And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.

You’re NOT in a relationship.

He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.

Which is why we recommend you do the same!

Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.

You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).

What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.

The benefit?

  • You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
  • You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
  • You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
  • And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.

Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!

If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.

I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

 

You Need to Let Go of THIS to Have the Love You Want!

You Need to Let Go of THIS to Have the Love You Want!

by Gladys Diaz

Is your life telling you something?

If you want to know, just look at your past and your present.

The lessons we most need tend to repeat themselves until they are finally learned!

And, if you want to know where the patterns of your life begin, just notice your thoughts.

The average human being has between 12,000 and 60,000 each day!

Unfortunately, 80% of those thoughts are negative and 95% of them are the same exact thoughts you had the day before (and sometimes decades before!).

So, if 80% of your thoughts about dating, love, relationships, or your partner are negative, then is it any wonder why you don’t have the kind of loving relationship you desire?

Now, before you start beating yourself up (or deleting this email) because of that last sentence, hear me out.

I know you’re not intentionally choosing to block love from your life.

A lot of these pervasive and repetitive thoughts are happening subconsciously.

Think about how difficult it can be to break a bad habit. Although you know that eating an entire bag of chips while watching TV or procrastinating working on a big project, or not organizing your receipts before tax season are all things that will eventually have a negative consequence, you still eat the chips, spend hours on social media, and telling yourself that you’ll organize those receipts tomorrow.

Or, even though you know that sleeping with a guy too soon rarely turns into a solid, committed relationship and that you’re going to feel hurt, used, and disappointed (again) if you sleep with him, you tell yourself that “This time might be different.” You put aside your boundaries and values for a few moments of pleasure, even thought you know things are probably going to turn out the same way again.

Another example is holding onto a relationship you know is not going anywhere or that is simply not right for you.  Even all the signs are pointing to “This is not it,” you keep holding on, hoping things will change, even though you know in your heart of hearts that it won’t.

Why do you do that?

Because the human brain is a creature of habit and you will hold on to what you know – what’s familiar – even though you know it’s stopping you from having the kind of loving relationship and life you really want.

So, the negative consequences reinforce the negative thought patterns, until you start relating to them as “the truth, and eventually find yourself giving up on your dreams.  

So, how do you break this vicious cycle?

You learn how to transform your mind so that you can create new results.

You learn how to completely break apart those thought patterns and replace them with new ones – but not simply through “positive thinking” or “positive self-talk.”

You learn how to truly go into your subconscious and uproot the thoughts that have been creating real barriers to you attracting and having the love you want.

Listen to your life.  It’s telling you something.

It has been for a while now.

Stop ignoring the signs that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working for you.

You can choose to continue repeating the same thoughts and actions and creating the same results. If you do, there’s a huge chance you’ll regret it and then wonder why things simply never worked out for you.

Or you can choose to break through and break free from anything that’s standing between you and having the love you want.

It’s only in letting go of the past that you can create space in your mind, life, and heart to welcome in new and extraordinary love.

As Rumi said, Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

You can have the love you want.

You simply have to let go of what hasn’t worked so that you can have what your heart most desires.

Are you ready to let go of what isn’t working so that you can have the love you want?

If so, click below and schedule time to talk with one of us. We will help you identify what your major Love Barriers have been and give you a step-by-step plan for letting them go so that you can have the love you want!

Click to talk with one of us!

 

 

 

 

The Most Important Relationship Skill Nobody’s Taught You

The Most Important Relationship Skill Nobody’s Taught You

by Gladys Diaz

The Most Important Relationship Skill Nobody’s Taught You

If you’re like most women we know, you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined webinars, and attended courses to learn what it is that it takes to “get a great man” or “get your ex back.”

There is absolutely no shortage of “rules,” tips, tricks, and strategies to “get a man” to choose and love you.

However, the very term of “getting” someone to do something implies that the other person doesn’t want to do the thing you want them to do.

Think about it… If you have to “get” someone to do something, that means  that –

  • there is something that the other person is resisting
  • you are doing all the “hard work”
  • there is not a natural flow or ease present – you are having to manipulate or force something to happen in order to get the result you want

I don’t know about you, but when I think about being in love with someone, I don’t want to have to work hard, AND I don’t want to have to force or convince him to want to love me.

So, how do you easily and effortlessly attract a man who can’t resist you and can’t imagine his life without you?

Well, the first thing you do is stop trying so hard to “get” love, and, instead, start tapping into your Irresistible Essence.  This is the natural and innate power you have to attract to yourself anything your heart desires – love, prosperity, health – anything.

Due to all of the internal programming you’ve undergone over the course of your life, there are certain things you need to “de-program” or “unlearn” before you can learn the skill of tapping into your Irresistible Essence.

Here are just 2 of the ones that MOST impact strong, successful women:

The Danger of Being Independent

Today, more than ever before in history, women are efficient, capable, and empowered to do and have whatever they want on their own.

We have more opportunities than ever to climb the corporate ladder, have our own businesses, and do work that inspires and fulfills us.  No longer does a woman have to depend on a man for her financial stability or survival.

While we still have a way to go when it comes to having true equality, we can’t ignore the signs pointing to the fact that the Dali Lama was correct when he said that the world would be saved by the Western woman.

The downside to this however, is that, inside of discovering that they don’t “need a man” to have the kind of life they want, many women have become so incredibly independent that they have lost touch with their desire to share their lives with a man.

See, there is a big difference between feeling as if you need someone to complete your life and wanting someone to share your amazing life with.

Being so independent that you deny the fact that you want to share your life with a great partner is a form of self-sabotage.  While you have some of what you want, you simply won’t feel completely fulfilled if you are denying yourself one of your heart’s desires.

And when this is the case, you actually limit your potential for attracting and manifesting in the other areas of your life, including your career!

The Pretense of Independence

This obsession with being independent also creates a need to pretend to want or not want other things, as well.

For example, please explain why women continue to pretend to want to pay for their half of the bill at the end of a date?

If you’re 100% honest with yourself, you know you don’t want to pay that bill! So why are you reaching for your purse, asking him if he wants you to pay, and then judging him when he says, “Yes”?

Another example: Why do some women feel it’s necessary to pretend that they can do everything themselves?

Look, no one is questioning your ability to care and provide for yourself.  No one is questioning that you are a capable, competent woman.

However, just because you are able to do it all yourself, doesn’t mean you have to prove that – especially not in a relationship!

When you are in a relationship, you switch from it being a “me” to a “we.”  That doesn’t mean you lose your identity or autonomy.  It simply means that, while you probably can do it all on your own, in a relationship, you don’t have to.

Plus, it’s okay to allow a man to court and cherish you.  It doesn’t minimize your abilities or competencies. It simply allows you the pleasure of receiving his love, attention, and affection. Why would you want to pretend to not want that?

So, how do you continue being a successful woman AND tap into your Irresistible Essence?

The first step is to tune in and see what some of the fears are around admitting that sharing your life with a great man is something you really want. That takes courage and vulnerability, but as a strong woman, it’s nothing you need to be afraid of. It’s inside of your vulnerability and authenticity that your Irresistible Essence is unleashed!

Yes, embrace your talents, abilities, and successes. Celebrate them! You’ve earned it!

However, remember that, unlike at work, you don’t have to “prove” yourself in order to be loved by the right man. All you need to do is be yourself and allow him the pleasure of getting to know the woman beneath the unstoppable exterior so that he can love that side of you, too!

Without acknowledging the desire to love and be loved and creating space in your life and heart to allow that love to make its way to you, you are actually sabotaging your ability to easily attract it into your life.

And the only way to do that is to acknowledge the desire and then learn how to break down the walls of independence so that you can allow love and partnership to make their way to you.

Being both a strong and independent woman, and a woman who is confident enough to be soft and create an interdependent relationship with a man is empowering and a relationship skill you probably didn’t know you didn’t know.

The irony in this is that it’s one of the most important keys to creating and keeping a happy, loving relationship that fulfills and inspires you for a lifetime!

And, in your heart of hearts, isn’t that what you truly want?

If so, email us and let us know what your vision for having a happy, loving relationship is!  We’ll personally respond with what we think your next best steps should be!

 

 

 

 

Why “Mindset” Alone Won’t Get You the Love You Want

Why “Mindset” Alone Won’t Get You the Love You Want

by Gladys Diaz

If you’ve invested time and money in personal development and spiritual programs that help you shift your mindset, and you’re still not experiencing significant shifts in your love life or relationship, I want to ask you a few questions.

Before you invested in this mindset program did you:

  • Know how to date successfully so that you aren’t wasting your time, love, or energy?
  • Get trained in the differences between the male and female brain and how we are wired differently?
  • Learn and master proven relationship skills that ensure long-lasting love?
  • Master effective communication that allow you to express yourself in a way that has your partner hear and respond to you in a loving way?
  • Have the opportunity to consistently practice these new skills so that you mastered them and avoided repeating old, self-sabotaging dysfunctional and painful patterns in your relationship?

If you answered “no” to even two of these questions, then you have the answer as to why you don’t have the kind of love you want.

See, no amount of personal work is going to change what happens in your love life or relationship when you don’t actually know and use the skills that create AND sustain lasting love.

 

You can be confident, think positively, meditate and pray, speak positive affirmations to yourself, visualize, and plaster your walls with vision boards, and this will only get you so far.

It’s like filling your refrigerator with a bunch of healthy food, joining a gym, and buying a ton of cute workout outfits but never prepping your meals or getting on the treadmill — your body and weight are notgoing to change one bit until you stop thinking and visualizing and start taking COMMITTED ACTION.

 

The same is true when it comes to your love life. 

Thinking positively and visualizing what you want can help you begin to set in motion attracting the relationship you want, AND you still need to have the right skills and know the right steps to take so that you can take the right ACTIONS that give you the results you really want. 

 

Like anything else you have ever accomplished that you became masterful at, having a great relationship requires a specific skill set. It just does.

You simply can’t get there by mindset alone.

Having the right mindset AND skill set are both essential, yet too many women keep trying use one without the other. And it simply doesn’t work.

 

So here’s the deal: It’s time to get committed to learning  what it takes to have a real loving and intimate relationship.

One that fulfills you; has you feeling truly loved, accepted, and supported by a high-quality man; and where you know how to keep the love, passion, and intimacy alive for a lifetime.

 

Enrollment for our next round of our Ready to Love Again (for single ladies) and Keeping the Love Alive (for women in relationships) is closing soon, and we are inviting women who are seriously committed to transforming themselves and their love lives into the community.

You must be someone who is ready to commit to investing in yourself, be willing to be coachable, and do BOTH the inner work as well as learn and apply the skills that will make this transformation happen for you. 

These are the programs where our clients learn how to remove and replace the Love Barriers that have been stopping them from having the love they want.

These programs are where you’ll learn how to combine the mindset work with effective and proven dating (if you’re single) relationship and communication skills that will have you experiencing more fun, love, and ease in your relationship.

These are the programs where so many of our clients FINALLY learn the skills that give them the confidence AND ability have and live in the loving, intimate relationship of their dreams! 

And these are the programs where you’ll see why nothing else has worked before. 

You’ll permanently remove the barriers that are keeping you stuck and finally have the love, life, and happiness your heart desires!

 

If you know this is you, then reach out.

We are committed to you having the love you desire and deserve, and if we don’t think the program is a good fit, we’ll be honest and give you some recommendations, but we won’t make you an invitation to join.

We’re not going to “sell” you, and we don’t need to, because we only work with women who we feel are ready for to succeed in the program (and their love lives), and our clients’ results really do speak for themselves.

 

We’re here to work only with the truly committed woman (in actions, not just words) — the woman who already knows that you’re ready to have the relationship you have been dreaming of, and you’re tired of waiting for it to “just happen,” because you KNOW you’re worthy of and ready to receive it now. 

Does that sound like you? 

Are you feeling it in your body right now — something that is pulling you forward?

Then let’s talk. 

We’ve got limited time on our calendar to speak this week (No, that’s not a marketing tactic. We’re busy, just like you are!), so if you’d like a spot, shoot us an email and tell us a little bit about your love life or relationship  and what your challenges are right now.

You’re probably doing a lot of things right now that might help you get the love you want, but you may be focusing on the wrong things or doing them in the wrong order. THIS is what we can help you sort through so that you are moving in the direction of your dreams!

Having the right mindset AND the right skills is the key to succeeding in any area of your life.  If you’re truly committed to doing the work to learn BOTH so that you can finally have the happy, loving relationship you have always dreamed of, send us an email and let us know what that looks like for you and what challenges you’re having right now. We’ll set up time to talk and tell you exactly what will make a difference NOW!

If you prefer, you can set up a time to talk by clicking here!

 

 

 

 

 

Love Life Not Working? It’s Not Your “Fault”!

Love Life Not Working? It’s Not Your “Fault”!

 by Gladys Diaz

 

Have you ever asked yourself:

Why don’t I have the relationship that I want?

 

You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.

You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.

You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.

 

We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.

And so have many of our clients. 

 

As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.

You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.

Things are different when it comes to love, however. 

 

First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.

Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.

You could also settle for less than what you really want.  However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.

Or you could give up on having the relationship you want.  So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving.  Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!

 

So, what is the alternative? 

Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!

And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!

 

See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.

The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it!  Not on your own.

This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.

It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.

Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.

 

The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.

Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!

What you need to do is figure out:

  1. what is causing the same patterns to show up;
  2. how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
  3. how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!

 

If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.

 

Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!

All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.

One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.

Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!

Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it.  However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.

So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

Is Your Past Impacting Your Love Life?

Is Your Past Impacting Your Love Life?

by Gladys Diaz

I had a deep wave of emotion hit me yesterday that I couldn’t explain… until later…

As you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and, as I sat there having a delicious Chinese meal with my mom, husband and children, I had a wave of emotion flood over me, and I couldn’t explain why until I thought about it later that night.

See, we weren’t wealthy growing up.  As a matter of fact, there were times when we really struggled, and I remember overhearing arguments about money, how there wasn’t any, and what my parents were going to do to make ends meet, pay the rent and put food on the table.

Fights were not uncommon growing up, and I remember many nights praying in my bed at night, quiet tears streaming out the side of my eyes and onto my pillow, silently begging God to please make things better, to have my parents get along, and to please make the yelling stop.  I just wanted to feel safe!

When things weren’t so bad, we could splurge a little.  That often meant ordering Chinese food for dinner, and it was such a treat!

I remember the smell of the special fried rice filling our dining room, the taste of the salty soy sauce I would always put too much of on my rice, and the feeling that we were going to be okay as we ate and smiled at one another across the dinner table, silently hoping that moment would never end — not just the delicious food, but the peace — the fact that, for this moment, there was no fighting, only joy.

Fast forward 40-something years, and here I was, sitting at a table with my mom, husband, and my two boys. We were laughing and enjoying some tasty special fried rice, and an unexpected  wave of emotion created a ball in my throat and tears in my eyes that caught me by surprise.

Why am I crying?  Everything is okay… more than okay…

It wasn’t until later that night, on the drive home, that it hit me why I felt so emotional.

See, I made a decision 30 years ago that I was going to have a different life than the one I grew up seeing.  I would live a life of love and peace.  If I chose to marry and have children, they would never know what it was like to cry themselves to sleep over problems that weren’t theirs to solve or praying for the fighting to stop. 

Moving forward, the history of of broken homes and hearts would come to an end, and I would write a new story — one where my past and the past of my ancestors would not determine my future or the future of my children and their children.

I did a lot of spiritual and personal development work to heal, transform, and recreate myself over the years.  And, now, as I ate at this table, I was seeing the evidence of that promise I made to myself having been kept. And it was beautiful!

My kids don’t have to cover their ears to not hear yelling.

They don’t have to worry if they are safe and if they’re going to be okay. 

They get to live in a house where love and peace are present every day and their needs — physical and emotional — are abundantly met. 

They know their parents love one another and them.

My kids are safe and they feel safe.

There is no greater gift I could give them or receive for Mother’s Day. This is the life I always dreamed of for myself and them!

 I don’t know if you experienced fighting, violence, addiction or any other kind of traumatic experiences growing up.  I don’t know if you are seeing history being repeated in your home, or if the life you are living is not the one you set out to create for yourself.

What I do know is that one of the BEST gifts we can give ourselves and our families is that of breaking the chains of the past; leaving the past behind, where it belongs; and creating a life worth living! One overflowing with peace, and happiness, and love!

If you are not living the story you want for yourself and your children (whether you have them now or you hope to have them in the future), then I’m inviting you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session. 

CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session.

On this call, we will take a look at what your ultimate goals are when it comes to love and relationships, what some of the barriers to having that kind of love are, and I will give you some concrete steps you can begin to follow now so that you can create the loving relationship you want.

You can’t rewrite history, but you CAN create a new future for yourself that is completely free from the past or anything else that may be stopping you from experiencing the love, happiness, and fulfillment you want.

No matter what happened in your past, if you aren’t living in the happy, loving relationship of your dreams, something is in the way!  Let’s find out what it is and remove it so that you can finally have and live in the relationship you have always wanted!

CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session and rewrite your love story!

Enter Your Information to Recieve an Excerpt of the Book

 

A 30-Day Journey to Discovering Self-Love
 

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest