There are many women who believe they have to choose between having a successful business or a great relationship. They truly don’t believe it’s possible to have both.
What do you believe?
Here’s the deal: if you believe that you can’t have both, you are living in a scarcity conversation, and you’re actually blocking the success you could be experiencing in BOTH!
This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we featured some incredible women, colleagues and dear friends of ours, who are rocking it in their business as well as their love lives. Through these conversations, we really highlighted how not only is it possible for you to have both – but it actually makes all of it even better!
In one of the interviews, we got to hear from Amy Yamada’s partner, Ken, who shared his experience as a man being in partnership with such an incredible and successful woman!
High-quality men want to support, be in contribution to, and pour into a high-quality woman. Ken shared how much more attracted he was to Amy knowing that she was an entrepreneur and motivational speaker.
For her, at first, she felt uneasy sharing about her business with him for fear of being in here “masculine” energy. But when she decided to lean into being her authentic self, which includes being an entrepreneur , it allowed him to really see her, and it ended up being one of the things that most attracted him to her. He said he simply wouldn’t have been attracted to her if she had not led with that.
NOT the fact that she was a business woman, but that she was AUTHENTIC.
What more proof do you need, ladies?!
Men want to support us.
I’ll never forget, years back, when I was crying – sitting in a restaurant with tears flowing down my face because I’d just been on off the phone with my business coach. I was feeling so defeated that I didn’t know what all of the tech terms meant or what all of this software I needed was, and didn’t know how I was ever going to be successful in my business.
Ric saw the opportunity, and he literally learned how to create funnels, build websites and do all-things-tech related to our business, simply as a result of wanting to support me and my dream. All these years later and I can’t even imagine where I, or Hearts Desire International for that matter, would be without him. (And now he has a great business of his own doing this for other people, too! Talk about a win-win!)
The other reason why men love being with high-quality, successful, driven women is because it inspires them to be more.
I’ll also never forget the day when I heard Ric, my very soft-spoken husband, stand on one of our stages at an event and said, “Seeing how committed Gladys is to her own transformation inspires me to become a better man.”
Definitely another tearful moment for me!
Until then I knew he admired the things I did, my career, and professional accomplishments But that day, he was talking about what he admired about ME and the woman I am! No award,degree, or certificate can hold a candle to that!
The absolutely beautiful thing about creating a partnership with someone who loves and admires you for your determination and commitment in the world is what you can create together.
It also gives you the opportunity to lean on one another and lift each other up when you have days where you’re having a hard time seeing it in yourself.
Supportive partners see you, experience you and hear you in a way that you sometimes fail to see, and they can share your life, your success, and all of the ordinary-extraordinary moments with you as you continue to strive for success in business and love.
If you have a limiting belief that you need to choose between business and love then we have something very important to share with you.
In just two weeks we’ll be hostingThe Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event, and you won’t want to miss it!!
This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to stop wasting time and want to start having SUCCESS in love!
This is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!
The event is happening on October 23rd-25th, and we can’t wait to have you there!
In fact, we’re so committed to having you there, that, for Birthday Week, we’re lowering the price of the ticket to just $47!!! (It’s our birthday, and will give you gifts if we want to!!!)
Men are intimidated and turned off by strong and successful women.
It is a myth and limiting belief that men are intimidated by strong women.
The truth that we have discovered through working with hundreds of women is that you can be a strong, powerful and successful woman and create the loving, connected passionate relationship that you desire.
The key is creating an interdependent relationship and developing the Irresistible Essences in yourself that are attractive to a man.
A man admires and appreciates confidence and happiness in a woman. He loves knowing that the woman he’s with doesn’t depend on him for her happiness, but that he gets to come to the relationship and bring even more happiness into her life.
What a confident, high-quality man doesn’t like is being with a woman who tries to control him, change him, or show and tell him how he should do things. What he doesn’t like is when the woman constantly tries to take the lead.
That’s a total turn off.
There’s a big difference between the woman who is strong, successful, and capable and a woman who is intimidating, forceful, demanding or overbearing.
If you have a tendency to show up in the more forceful ways of being, you may have a pattern of control that you get to look at.
Ask yourself: What’s going has me switch into “control mode?? Why is that showing up for me? What am I afraid will or won’t happen if I’m not in control of a person or situation?
Fear wears many masks, and control is a big one.
Do you fear he’ll leave?
Do you fear you won’t be enough and, therefore, you’re always trying to prove something to yourself, him, and others?
Do you fear things won’t go the way you want them to if you don’t control the situation?
Let me tell you as a former control freak: It’s exhausting to try to be in control of everyone and everything! It’s absolutely draining to be constantly trying to control your man, or the whole universe, for that matter!
Life is so much better when you let go and learn to allow and go with the flow.
I can tell you from my experience as a love coach that the best and most fulfilling way to have the most wonderful experience in a relationship is to do less.
Now… If the thought of not controlling anything scares you to your core, not to worry. There are still several thing you have 100% control over:
You get to be in control of your thoughts.
You get to be in control of your words.
You get to be in control of your behavior.
Everything else? Just let it go!
High-quality men, the kind I know you’re looking for, want to be with a woman who’s passionate, is up to big things in her life, and is the kind of woman who makes amazing things happen.
High-quality men have passions of their own and are up to big things, too.
The only men who aren’t turned off by a woman that tries to control everything are men who aren’t doing things with their own lives and want someone who will tell them what to do.
And we know you aren’t looking for a man like that!
It’s a practice of learning how to let go showing your partner that you trust him, and then letting things be.
It’s a practice because it takes effort – but it’s so worth it!
If you’re wanting to experience even more trust, openness and joy in dating and relationships, then you absolutely want to make sure that you join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE Virtual Live Event!
This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event is for strong, successful, powerful women who want SUCCESS in love now! This event is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires! The regular ticket price is $497 – but right now it’s only $97 and that price ends TONIGHT at Midnight EST!
So if you know you want to attend and grab a seat for this super-low price, grab your ticket now!
The other reason you don’t want to wait is because this year we’ll be sending you a special “LOVE Box” filled with gifts and materials you’ll be using during the event, and we only ordered a certain number of them. Once they’re gone, they’re GONE
So again, if you already know you want to attend and have a life-changing experience where you and your love life will never be the same, grab your ticket and your LOVE Box now!
Many women think it lies in finding the right person or having a perfected list of qualities you’re looking for in a partner.
Some think it’s about where or how you meet the person, while others think the key is in “divine timing.”
What we’ve found from working with women of every age, from many countries, and all backgrounds is that there is one thing that truly separates the women that create the loving, intimate, long term relationship they desire and those that don’t.
The key to creating true love with another person is creating true love within yourself first.
Now, we’re not talking about self-care, though we do encourage doing all the things that fill you up and nourish your soul.
Self-love is deeper.
Self-love is about the relationship you have with yourself.
It’s the things you say about and to yourself.
It’s feeling comfortable with the most intimate parts of who you are.
It’s the beliefs you hold about yourself.
It’s the way you trust who you are and how you feel.
It’s loving and accepting every part of you, even the parts of you you’re afraid others may not like.
It’s bringing forgiveness and acceptance to your past.
True self-love creates confidence, trust and the ability to create the things you most deeply desire.
This is important whether you are single, in a relationship, or in a relationship that isn’t everything you hoped it would be, because the relationship you have with yourself will be reflected in the relationships you create with other people.
Do you have any resistance coming up around this? Do you doubt that this could really be what’s missing from creating what you want in your life?
If so, you’re not the only one. It’s easier to point outside of yourself for why things aren’t working the way you’d like to in your life. It’s much harder to look inward and be responsible for what you’re experiencing and creating in your relationships and in your life.
And, if you don’t have the skills to know how to turn things around it can be a terrifying and frustrating place to be. We get that.
We also know that knowing exactly what to do and how to do it brings incredible amounts of confidence, joy, and empowerment, because the relationship you have with yourself is the ONE thing you have total control over.
Everything starts with you. And that’s GREAT news!
When I was in the midst of my own self-love mission, everything in my life looked perfect on the outside. I had the job, I had great kids, I traveled with my girlfriends, and I was dating a lot — though none of those dating experiences ever went very far.
Men would always tell me that I had an amazing life and was an amazing woman, but that they knew they just couldn’t give me what I wanted.
I felt so confused and wondered why.If my life was so awesome, how could I still come home at night and feel so miserable and lonely and alone?
Once I did the HeartWork I realized that all I wanted was someone to validate that I was lovable, when what I really needed was to create that love inside myself first.
Recognizing that belief, uncovering where it came from, and creating something different within myself was such a transformative experience that it’s literally why we started doing the work that we do.
We want every single woman to create the love and relationship that she deserves and desires, and, like we’ve said, we know it starts with you.
That’s why we’d love to invite you to the Self-Love Secret Mission, a free 5-day challenge happening next week!
Imagine five days where you can break-though and create the type of love and relationship with yourself that you want to create with others.
Throughout the week, you will experience falling in love with yourself and start seeing the miracles that follow.
Out of this experience we’ve seen women obtain new jobs, receive promotions, manifest new homes, and create the relationship of their dreams — all through the healing and transformation that comes through doing this HeartWork.
If you’re ready to create a deeply loving, profound, and powerful relationship with yourself that will have you create the life and love you really want, then make sure you join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission!
Someone you look up to? Someone who’s made a difference for you?
Who would you like to be more like?
What characteristics do they have that you admire?
Do they show integrity? Are they authentic and real? Maybe they have high energy that’s contagious. Are they loving and generous? Are they dignified and show grace under fire?
Take Oprah, for example. There is just such an amazing way that she exemplifies grace under fire. She is compassionate while being rigorous. She is kind while being strong. She speaks up and takes a stand without being reactive. She is dignified.
Those are just a few of the things that we look up to in women.
How about you?
Oftentimes, we recognize things in others that we’d like to develop more of in ourselves.
Whether you’re in a relationship or dating, it’s essential to be self-aware. To be able to recognize the places within yourself that are your opportunities for growth.
We say, “opportunities for growth,” because it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re trying to be something you’re not. One of the biggest sources of stress in dating and relationships comes from being inauthentic or trying to be someone you’re not.
We say “opportunities for growth,” because recognizing the areas in which you’d like to develop are opportunities for higher levels of self-esteem, confidence and more desired experiences.
And all of those things are highly attractive, right?
It’s like that awesome quote by Sophia Bush says:
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.”
You can strive to develop yourself while also exercising self-love and grace and always striving to be your authentic best.
So what are the ways of being you’d like to embody ?
Here are some ideas from our community:
Owning a State of Ease
Sense of Humor
And those are just a start!
What is it for you?
Choose two ways of being that would make the biggest difference for you and for those around you that you can focus on embodying this week.
And remember to make itfun!
There is a natural human desire to grow. There’s so much fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from recognizing your growth opportunities and doing something about them!
If you’d like help recognizing what some of those opportunities are for you, book a Love Breakthrough Call. That’s what we’re here for!
Sometimes, the thing holding us back is in our blind spot, and all it takes is someone to lovingly point it out, help us remove it and replace it with something else that makes all the difference.
The Most Important Relationship Skill Nobody’s Taught You
If you’re like most women we know, you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined webinars, and attended courses to learn what it is that it takes to “get a great man” or “get your ex back.”
There is absolutely no shortage of “rules,” tips, tricks, and strategies to “get a man” to choose and love you.
However, the very term of “getting” someone to do something implies that the other person doesn’t want to do the thing you want them to do.
Think about it… If you have to “get” someone to do something, that means that –
there is something that the other person is resisting
you are doing all the “hard work”
there is not a natural flow or ease present – you are having to manipulate or force something to happen in order to get the result you want
I don’t know about you, but when I think about being in love with someone, I don’t want to have to work hard, AND I don’t want to have to force or convince him to want to love me.
So, how do you easily and effortlessly attract a man who can’t resist you and can’t imagine his life without you?
Well, the first thing you do is stop trying so hard to “get” love, and, instead, start tapping into your Irresistible Essence. This is the natural and innate power you have to attract to yourself anything your heart desires – love, prosperity, health – anything.
Due to all of the internal programming you’ve undergone over the course of your life, there are certain things you need to “de-program” or “unlearn” before you can learn the skill of tapping into your Irresistible Essence.
Here are just 2 of the ones that MOST impact strong, successful women:
The Danger of Being Independent
Today, more than ever before in history, women are efficient, capable, and empowered to do and have whatever they want on their own.
We have more opportunities than ever to climb the corporate ladder, have our own businesses, and do work that inspires and fulfills us. No longer does a woman have to depend on a man for her financial stability or survival.
While we still have a way to go when it comes to having true equality, we can’t ignore the signs pointing to the fact that the Dali Lama was correct when he said that the world would be saved by the Western woman.
The downside to this however, is that, inside of discovering that they don’t “need a man” to have the kind of life they want, many women have become so incredibly independent that they have lost touch with their desire to share their lives with a man.
See, there is a big difference between feeling as if you need someone to complete your life and wanting someone to share your amazing life with.
Being so independent that you deny the fact that you want to share your life with a great partner is a form of self-sabotage. While you have some of what you want, you simply won’t feel completely fulfilled if you are denying yourself one of your heart’s desires.
And when this is the case, you actually limit your potential for attracting and manifesting in the other areas of your life, including your career!
The Pretense of Independence
This obsession with being independent also creates a need to pretend to want or not want other things, as well.
For example, please explain why women continue to pretend to want to pay for their half of the bill at the end of a date?
If you’re 100% honest with yourself, you know you don’t want to pay that bill! So why are you reaching for your purse, asking him if he wants you to pay, and then judging him when he says, “Yes”?
Another example: Why do some women feel it’s necessary to pretend that they can do everything themselves?
Look, no one is questioning your ability to care and provide for yourself. No one is questioning that you are a capable, competent woman.
However, just because you are able to do it all yourself, doesn’t mean you have to prove that – especially not in a relationship!
When you are in a relationship, you switch from it being a “me” to a “we.” That doesn’t mean you lose your identity or autonomy. It simply means that, while you probably can do it all on your own, in a relationship, you don’t have to.
Plus, it’s okay to allow a man to court and cherish you. It doesn’t minimize your abilities or competencies. It simply allows you the pleasure of receiving his love, attention, and affection. Why would you want to pretend to not want that?
So, how do you continue being a successful woman AND tap into your Irresistible Essence?
The first step is to tune in and see what some of the fears are around admitting that sharing your life with a great man is something you really want. That takes courage and vulnerability, but as a strong woman, it’s nothing you need to be afraid of. It’s inside of your vulnerability and authenticity that your Irresistible Essence is unleashed!
Yes, embrace your talents, abilities, and successes. Celebrate them! You’ve earned it!
However, remember that, unlike at work, you don’t have to “prove” yourself in order to be loved by the right man. All you need to do is be yourself and allow him the pleasure of getting to know the woman beneath the unstoppable exterior so that he can love that side of you, too!
Without acknowledging the desire to love and be loved and creating space in your life and heart to allow that love to make its way to you, you are actually sabotaging your ability to easily attract it into your life.
And the only way to do that is to acknowledge the desire and then learn how to break down the walls of independence so that you can allow love and partnership to make their way to you.
Being both a strong and independent woman, and a woman who is confident enough to be soft and create an interdependent relationship with a man is empowering and a relationship skill you probably didn’t know you didn’t know.
The irony in this is that it’s one of the most important keys to creating and keeping a happy, loving relationship that fulfills and inspires you for a lifetime!
And, in your heart of hearts, isn’t that what you truly want?
If so, email usand let us know what your vision for having a happy, loving relationship is! We’ll personally respond with what we think your next best steps should be!
You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.
You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.
You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.
We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.
And so have many of our clients.
As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.
You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.
Things are different when it comes to love, however.
First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.
Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.
You could also settle for less than what you really want. However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.
Or you could give up on having the relationship you want. So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving. Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!
So, what is the alternative?
Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!
And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!
See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.
The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it! Not on your own.
This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.
It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.
Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.
The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.
Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!
What you need to do is figure out:
what is causing the same patterns to show up;
how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!
If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.
Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!
All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.
One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.
Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!
Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it. However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.
So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!
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