“Focusing during the day feels nearly impossible.”
“I feel unsettled.”
“I feel helpless and powerless.”
These are some of the things we’ve been hearing from women this week.
Have you been feeling at all similar?
With what feels like our whole world turned upside down over the last couple of weeks, we want you to know that we are right there with you. We’re living in the same world as you, experiencing the same situations and circumstances that the rest of the world and country are dealing with at this time.
You truly are not alone.
And, although we may not have much control over our situation or circumstance right now, the thing we do have control over is how we choose to deal with it.
There is no better time than right now to master your mindset!
What does that look like?
Feel what you need to feel. Mastering your mindset doesn’t look like brushing things under the rug or pretending you don’t feel the way you feel. Acknowledge where you’re at and allow yourself to be there for a minute… Just don’t stay there.
Shift. Ask yourself “What I do so that I can deal with this in an empowered way?”
For example, maybe you’re feeling like dating is out the window right now. Maybe you’re using COVID-19 as a distraction to stop you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re feeling depressed that you’re finally ready to date, and now you can’t leave your house.
Did you know that, while 25% of Americans are staying inside their homes right now, Bumble has seen a 23% increase in Seattle and New York (two of the cities that have been hit the hardest and that are being ordered to stay inside). And those numbers aren’t just reflecting swiping. These are people engaged in conversations.
Men are saying that they have had such a hard time making the shift to online dating, because they were so afraid of not getting a response, and now it’s all there is, so they are being bolder! We are hearing the most fun stories from our clients who are getting creative with dating — having Facetime dates, grocery store dates, and picnics where they are keeping the 6-foot recommended distance — and moving forward with it anyways.
Life is still happening.
Even though we may be stuck inside and getting used to our new normal, life is still happening around us and we can choose to create the things we’ve always wanted now.
The world is coming together right now. This is the most worldwide impactful event since WWII.
Yes, there is uncertainty, and, where there is uncertainty, fear will be triggered.
The thing is…. Humans are resilient.
There’s a reason why we’re still on this earth and dinosaurs aren’t!
The human spirit has a natural instinct to adapt and keep moving forward, even under the hardest of circumstances. We feel a pull to keep growing and moving forward, no matter what.
So, what are some things you can do to shift?
For example, earlier this week, I was having a hard time focusing, so I went outside with my beach chair, a small table, my laptop, my Bible, and my books, and felt an immediate shift.
I’ve been taking daily walks that I time precisely so that I can see the sunset. It’s amazing how such simple things can make such a difference!
And, I’m immersing myself in books, videos, and audios that are focused on empowerment, prosperity, and faith!
Here are some ideas we’ve gotten from women we’ve been speaking with:
Go for a walk and pick some wildflowers from your neighborhood.
Take extra time to practice self-care – do your own nails, give yourself a facial, light some candles and relax.
Read all the books you never made time to read before!
Pray and meditate.
Listen to positive podcasts.
Cook your favorite foods.
Purge clothes and organize your house.
Dance to your favorite music.
Create a cozy space in your home you can escape to when you need some space.
Many things may be cancelled, but life is not!
Another thing that’s not cancelled is having meaningful conversations and connecting with others in creative ways.
Neither are your dreams. You still get to have the life and love you’ve always wanted. Don’t let fear or social distancing try to cheat you out of believing that!
If you’d like to talk about how this time can be an opportunity for you, instead of a block, let’s hop on a call and have a conversation about what you can do for yourself and for your dreams right now,regardless of what’s going on around you!
Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of?
Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?
Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love.
If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back, but just seem to be stuck.
If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how.
The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t allow you to move forward.
And how else is it impacting you?
To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results.
What are you currently experiencing?
Are you going on dates or are you holding back?
If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process?
Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves?
Is there something wrong with every single person you goout with?
Are you not attracted to anyone?
Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?
No, you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then you may be holding onto someone from the past.
Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!
If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious.
What’s really going on here?
Why am I not feeling connection?
Why am I never attracted to anyone?
What’s really holding me back?
You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…”
“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?”
“I wonder why I can’t let go?”
“I wonder what that person represents for me?”
“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”
When it comes to breakups, it would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone?
It’s okay to love someone and let them go.
Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.
And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.
When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever!
But only if you are open to it.
Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you.
I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!
Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!
At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.
We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love right now!
The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative.
We’re going to help you create your Love Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020!
The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.
It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you feel like you are exactly where you were meant to be?
Last week was like that for me!
I spent the first part of the week in California with one of my mentors and her coaches, and then spent the last part of the week attending a very intensive 3-day business workshop where I had incredible personal breakthroughs.
I just love transformation, don’t you?
During both events, I had the opportunity to listen to amazing women share about their personal journeys of how they came to where they are now in their lives, relationships, and businesses. With each interaction, I was able to connect with them on very personal level and share some of my heart with them, as well.
Some of the stories I heard this week were heart-breaking.
I met women who had lost everything due to natural disasters and unforeseen circumstances and had to rebuild their lives.
I spoke to women who had hit a wall in their love lives and, with coaching, were able to turn their relationships completely around.
I met women who are still experiencing the dark part of their journeys, but who were committed to working on transforming those areas of their lives.
I saw women break through their fears right in front of my very eyes!
All of these women – from different parts of the world, economic situations, and life circumstances – shared one thing in common: The unwillingness to stay stuck where they were.
Some may call that perseverance, tenacity, or determination. I call it the Essence of who we are as women.
There is something that lies within the core of our Selves – some refer to it as our spirit, or soul – that we are equipped with, which makes us able to experience pain and resolve to move forward with grace and strength.
If you are in one of those dark moments in your life –
If your relationship is falling apart and you don’t know where or how to begin to turn it around…
If you are frustrated with dating and are close to wanting to give up (or you already have)…
If you are feeling lost, lonely, and afraid all the time and long to love and be loved…
I want you to know that you are not alone.
No matter what it is you are going through, there is love, peace, and freedom on the other side of this! It may not seem like it now, but I promise you – because I have been through my own dark valleys when it comes to love – that you can experience more love, joy, and fulfillment than you can imagine!
It will take some work to get there, and some of it won’t be “easy,” but, as I said, you won’t be alone.
As we approach the end of 2014, take an inventory of your love life. Ask yourself:
Is my love life everything I want it to be?
Even if things are “good” or “okay,” is there another level of love and intimacy I’d like to discover?
If my love life is not what I want it to be, am I willing to take a courageous step forward and do the inner and outer Heart Work to shift that and begin seeing my heart’s desires fulfilled?
These are questions only you can answer. Only you know what’s really going on in your heart.
Whatever your answers to these questions, I’m happy to help you walk through any of them, if you’re ready. I truly am here to serve and support you, and my commitment is that you actually begin to see your heart’s desires fulfilled. Just click here to set up a time to talk.
November is one of my favorite months of the year because it seems as if most of us are more present to the blessings we have in our lives. The more present we are to our blessings, the more gratitude we feel, the more we begin to see more of what we want in our lives. It’s pretty amazing the way that happens!
If you’re reading this, it’s likely that there is one thing in particular you desire to have more of in your life: LOVE!
Love is one of our purest and deepest desires because you are a loving being. You were made of love, to love, and for love. It’s simply who you are!
During the month of November, Michelle and I have partnered up with some amazing women who are just as committed as we are to guiding you to get more of what you want in your life! And, because we are all about you creating and experiencing the life and love your heart desires, we’re not keeping it only to attracting more romantic love into your life.
Over the next several weeks, we’ll be sharing opportunities for you to participate in both live and virtual events that will enable you to:
Access more of what you want through practicing gratitude on a daily basis
Manifest more abundance and success in all of the areas of your life
Create harmony between your professional, personal, and family life
End 2014 powerfully so that you can move into 2015 with grace, ease, and equipped to fulfill the desires of your heart
And, of course, we’ll continue to provide you with the tools, skills, and solutions that guide you toward creating the extraordinary life and love you desire and deserve!
Now, we intend to give to our hearts’ content, and we want you to prepare yourself to receive.
We realize that may sound strange, but the truth is that receiving – particularly when you are being given more than you feel you desire or deserve – can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
Rather than receiving the blessings coming to us, we tend to block or push them away out of guilt, fear, or habit.
That’s why it’s important to prepare yourself and your heart to receive!
Here are a few steps to help prepare yourself to receive all of the gifts, information, and invitations we will be sharing with you, along with the other blessings that are coming your way!
Remember that you are worthy of every gift, offer of assistance, compliment, and smile you receive.You are a beautiful loving being, and, because of that, you attract beauty and love. So, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or “weird” when you are begin given gifts of any kind, simply tell yourself: I am a beautiful, loving being, and I am worthy of all of the beauty and love I am attracting and receiving in my life!
Remember that there are no strings attached to the gifts, offers, compliments, or smiles you receive. Part of what makes receiving difficult is that we somehow feel like we’ll owe the other person something of equal or greater value in return. That kind of thinking is associated with a feeling of unworthiness and keeps us from receiving what others freely want to give us. So, if you begin to feel those strings getting attached, cut them immediately by repeating the affirmation above, and add: I openly and willingly receive the loving gifts and gestures others freely give me.
Remember to be grateful for everything! Whether you’re in a space right now where you feel like you don’t have enough of what you want or need, or you are relishing in a feeling of abundance, gratitude is the doorway to experiencing more happiness, peace, love, and everything else your heart desires. So, make it a practice to take just a few minutes each day to just take inventory of the blessings in your life and express gratitude for at least 5 things every day. You can write them down, or simply say them aloud or to yourself. However you choose to express it, just take a few moments at the beginning and end of each day to say, “I am grateful for…”
Bonus: Remember to be grateful in anticipation of receiving what you want!One of my favorite practices of all time is expressing gratitude in anticipation of receiving what I want. After expressing thanks for the blessings that already surround me, I begin to express thanks for the blessings that are making their way to me. So, if you want to meet the man of your dreams, already give thanks for the fact that he is making his way to you. If you are married or in a relationship, express thanks for the love that is growing between the two of you and for all of the beautiful memories you will create together. If there is something you desire for your family, career, or business, give thanks in advance for those blessings that are being manifested. And, as you do this, allow yourself to actually feel and experience the love, happiness, freedom and peace in anticipation of receiving the blessing. I promise you, this will be life-changing!
If you practice these steps, you will begin to experience the joy of receiving. And, in doing so, you also give the people who are giving to you the joy of having their gift received and appreciated! It creates a beautiful cycle of giving, receiving, and appreciation that keeps growing and multiplying the blessings!
So, take a deep breath…
Open your heart…
And receive the love and blessings that are coming your way!
And, just because we love surprising you with gifts, here’s a sneak peek into the events you can take part in over the next few weeks!
Redefining Womanhood Series (Launches November 10, 2014): Discover 21 Creative Solutions for paving your own path to success in work, marriage, and parenting from top female leaders who are paving the way and redefining what it means to be “A Successful Woman” in today’s world! Click here to reserve your spot!
10 Days of Gratitude Video Series (Launches November 20, 2014): Join Mia Saenz as she hosts 10 inspirational interviews all focused on the incredible power that gratitude has on our lives! (Registration link coming soon!)
Remember: Give thanks… Believe… Receive!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
The other day, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows with my family and they were featuring a mother in her 40s who was almost 200 pounds overweight. She was beside herself with sadness and self-loathing because she said she had given up her dreams and could not believe how much she had let herself go after having been an athlete and gymnast in her youth.
Her reason for having gotten to this point?
Being a mom.
She shared how she had gotten pregnant in college and thrown herself into being “the perfect mom” and pastor’s wife. She described how she had put so much focus on being there for her kids that she’s lost herself and forgotten who she was.
I’d like to say this is an isolated incident, but it’s not.
One of the most common fears women share with us is that they are afraid of losing themselves in a relationship.
I work with women all over the world who are trying to prove that they are Superwoman or Supermom, doing everything, working themselves to the point of exhaustion, and ignoring their own needs so that they can please and impress others.
And this isn’t an issue that only affects mothers and wives. I also see women who are single and are throwing themselves into and losing themselves in their careers, giving all of themselves, their time and attention to their bosses and companies and leaving very little time or attention for having fun, dating, and just taking care of themselves.
Unfortunately, all of these women have forgotten that the MOST important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself!
If you don’t take the time to care for yourself by making time to relax, laugh, play, nurture your mind, body, and spirit, you literally have nothing left to give – to yourself or anyone else!
Giving to the point of feeling depleted, mentally and physically exhausted –and many times resentful, because you feel you’re giving, giving, and giving without getting very much in return – not only leaves you unable to have the energy, patience, and enthusiasm to date or create a loving relationship, but also teaches people how to treat you. So it’s unfair to resent the boss who keeps adding things on your plate with no recognition or additional compensation, the PTA President who knows she can call you the night before to do a task that would take anyone else weeks, or your husband who is not helping you around the house or with the kids.
When you don’t take time to make time for yourself, don’t expect others to go out of their way to do that for you, either!
It’s essential that you do something for yourself daily. Whether it’s read a book, talk on the phone with a girlfriend, take that class you’ve been saying you want to take forever, or just sit and do nothing (one of my favorites!).
When you make your needs, dreams, and self-care a priority, you are letting yourself – and the rest of the world know – that you value yourself, believe in your dreams, and know that there isn’t a need to “sacrifice” what you love and makes you happy in order to be a great woman, partner, or mother.
You’ll also find that when you make yourself a priority, all of those people who you love and are trying to make happy will rally around you, be your biggest supporters, and help make sure you have time for yourself and to make your dreams come true!
As we were watching the show, my older son said, “Wow… She had to give up her dreams so she could take care of her kids? “
I responded, “No, she didn’t have to give up her dreams. She chose to. We get to create our lives and make our dreams come true. A woman can be a great mother, have a happy relationship, and still follow her dreams.”
“Oh, yeah, Mama. Like how you take care of us and you’re also helping your clients and building your dreams for Heart’s Desire!”
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Yesterday was my husband’s birthday, and, at our house, I love making a big deal when it’s someone’s birthday by celebrating “Birthday Week.” During this week, the person gets to choose what we watch on TV, what we eat for dinner, and, basically is made to feel special all week long by everyone else in the house!
Well, Sunday night, I almost ruined Birthday Sunday for my husband. The boys had misplaced the remote control for the TV (again) and were arguing about it in the playroom. It was already late and past their bedtime, so my honey and I were ready for our “alone time,” so we could watch our shows and relax together.
When I saw that my husband was getting upset at the boys for arguing, I jumped in to “help.”
(Mistake #1 – Offering Unsolicited Help: Stepping in “to help” without there being a need or a request for it. This sends the message that you feel he is incapable of resolving the issue on his own. Instead, trust in your partner’s capability to resolve the situation himself. If he needs help, he’ll ask for it. By the way.. he probably won’t.).
The truth is that there really wasn’t any reason for me to jump in to “help.” My husband had the situation handled. I jumped in because didn’t want him to be upset with the boys (especially on Birthday Weekend) and I just wanted the arguing to stop. Now, even though these might be “good reasons” for stepping in, had I stayed on the couch and allowed him to handle things, it probably would have been resolved right away.
Instead, I jumped in and noticed that, the more I tried to “help,” the more angry he was getting. At first I thought he was angry with the kids, but, in retrospect, I can see that he must have felt like I didn’t trust him to handle the situation.
I did an exercise I do with the kids that helps them to remember where they last saw and held something, and, the remote was found!
(Victory #1 – Resolving the problem. This was short-lived, however, because of Mistake #2!)
Now, if I’d just left it at that, everyone would have felt happy, relieved, and the situation may have been over. However, for some reason, I simply had to make sure that I emphasized (rather loudly) that this is what you should do when you can’t find something.
(Mistake #2 – Proving I’m Right and You’re Wrong: This is an ego-driven need to prove the other person wrong. While there may be a sense of “victory” in having been “right,” essentially, there is no “winner” in this situation because your partner is left feeling as if he’s wrong or in some way “lesser than” you.)
Then, to prove my point further, as my husband was talking to the boys about them being responsible so that they don’t lose things, I butted in again to mentioned that things in the house don’t get “lost”; they simply get “misplaced.”
(Mistake #3 – Wanting to be “Right” AGAIN: This adds salt to the already-tender wound. By correcting or contradicting your partner, you once again disrespect him by pointing out how “right” you are. There is no demonstration of support or encouragement for your partner, which can leave him feeling upset and alone).
Well, that did it.
My husband yelled, “Okay, things in the house don’t get ‘lost,’ they are ‘misplaced! Is that better?’”
Now he was in an official funk…and so was I.
I was upset at myself for getting involved, sending the message that he couldn’t handle a simple situation, and that I was the one with the “right” solution. I saw how disrespectful and condescending I’d been. I was ashamed and angry with myself, especially since that’s not the way I am committed to treating my husband.
I wish I could say that I immediately apologized and that we were soon in a snuggly, blissful space, but that wouldn’t be true. It took me a while to get to the point that I could forgive myself enough to apologize to him. I made a first attempt to apologize, but I have to admit that it wasn’t very sincere. It came from a place of trying to “fix” things. I think he could tell, because he remained cold.
A little while later, I noticed it was past midnight (we always try to be the first to wish the other a Happy Birthday). I moved closer to him on the couch, looked him in the eye, and said, “I’m sorry I disrespected you, and I know you’re upset. I just want to say ‘Happy Birthday.’”
He leaned forward, we kissed, and I snuggled up next to him and said a prayer of thanks. (smile)
In the past, I wouldn’t have apologized. I would have made it seem like it was not such a big deal and then made him wrong (again) for not forgiving me right away. Now, even when it’s hard, I choose to apologize – because that’s something I can be responsible for – and give him space to work through his own feelings.
(Victory #2: Sincerely Apologizing. It’s not always easy to admit when you’re wrong. However, if you can put aside your pride and realize that what’s more important than being right, staying angry, or pretending like nothing happened is restoring the intimacy in the relationship, then you also recognize that it’s really a small price to pay. And now you’ve got a win-win situation going!)
Having a loving and intimate relationship isn’t about perfection. You may not always say or do the right things.
So what can you when you’ve made a mistake that impacts the closeness and connection in your relationship?
You can continue to focus on becoming your best self.
You can forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness along the way for those times when you don’t reflect the best side of yourself.
And you can recommit to restoring intimacy in your relationship.
In doing all of these things you can be confident that you are on the path to creating the happy, loving, intimate relationships your heart truly desires.
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
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