Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected?
If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!
The real question is: Is that fear running the show? Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether?
It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!
It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way.
Here’s how it works.
You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.
Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.
This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.
It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.
It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.
Here’s how it looks for me.
My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient.
I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day.
My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship. I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.
Fast forward to now.
I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head.
My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.
Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.
When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!
So how do you overcome these fears?
First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it.
What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?
Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light.
Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?
When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question.
I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship.
I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again.
The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.
It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!
This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!
We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year, it’s going to be better than ever!
I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…
Are you still holding onto a past relationship?
The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.
She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.
Now, I want you to know. This is not a “weak woman.”
She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.
Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, letgo of the pain, and move forward with her life.
The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to letgo of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.
The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.
So, you throw yourself into your work.
You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.
You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.
Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.
You try not to feel.
There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.
However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’tletgo of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to letgo of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.
If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of lettinggo of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.
On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the lettinggo process, determine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to letgo and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.
It’s time to letgo. You know it inside. And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.
The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you. Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!
Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is lettinggo. If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!
Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids, and I took the opportunity to pamper myself and get a deep-tissue Swedish massage, courtesy of my wonderful hubby!
As I was lying on the table, enjoying the soft meditation music, the candles, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage, all of a sudden, all I could feel was PAIN! And lots of it!
I actually found myself holding my breath a few times because of the pain I could feel under the masseuse’s expert hands!
At one point, I thought I would tell her to stop, and then I noticed something…
I began to notice how my muscles were responding to her touch.
I became aware of how, while I wasn’t stressed out or feeling pain when I first laid down on the table, there were parts of my body that were obviously story pain and stress, based on the “knots” she was finding and deeply massaging.
And, I noticed how she would dig really deep into a muscle, work there for a while, go somewhere else, and then come back to it and work on it some more.
That’s when I thought of you! (Yes, even while getting a massage, you are on my mind! Can’t help it!)
I started thinking about how, sometimes, we have some “deep-tissue” pain stored in our memories, our hearts, and our bodies that are related to the past.
Maybe it has to do with a relationship that ended painfully.
Maybe you’re in a relationship right now, where you’re feeling some pain.
Or perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your life and you keep wondering, “I’ve prayed, meditated, read all these books, watched videos, attended courses, and worked with different coaches! When am I finally going to break through this?”
I get it! I’ve been there myself! And, here’s the deal:
Sometimes, you just need to go back and dig a little deeper to truly release the pain so that you can move forward with joy, peace, and the love you desire and deserve!
It’s during those times of release that you are able to put the past back in the past where it belongs so that you can move toward the present and future that are waiting for you!
Well, I was so inspired by all of the thoughts and insights I had during that massage, that, when I finished, I went to Facebook and shot a live video (Well, two, actually, because I lost connection during the first one, but I just had to share this with you!)
I know it can be tempting to feel like the “deep-tissue” inner work you’ve done isn’t working, but… what if…?
What if you’re just inches away from your next breakthrough?
What if you can dig a little deeper and finally have the happiness and love you want?
What would that make possible for you?
Check out the video and let me know what opens up for you!
Don’t forget to comment below! We love hearing from you!
There are few things more painful than losing someone you love, whether that’s due to a breakup, divorce, death, or because the person you love does not feel the same way about you.
Experiencing a loss of any kind can trigger different emotions and beliefs that can leave you feeling hurt, insecure, disempowered, and as if you are unable to move forward in your love life.
Which of these ring true for you?
You meet and date men, but they never quite match up to “the one who got away”
You still think about what you could have done/could do to work things out with him
You constantly talk about and bring him up when speaking with friends
You cyber-stalk or try to find out information about him and his life via social media and/or friends and family
You make yourself available to see and/or talk to him in the hopes that you will reconcile
You’ve agreed to a “friends-with-benefits” relationship with him in the hopes that he will come back to you
If any of these scenarios ring true for you, consider that you are not over the man in your past.
Of course it takes time to get over a breakup. However, if it’s been more than a few months and you’re still pining over him, avoiding/resisting meeting someone else because you are still hoping and waiting that he’ll come back to you, or you find something wrong with every single man you meet, you’re actually stopping yourself from moving forward. If what you really want is a happy, loving relationship with a man who you love and who loves you back, holding onto a previous man or relationship actually blocks you from welcoming new love into your life.
There are many reasons you may be doing this, and one of the main reasons is that staying stuck in the past – as painful and unpleasant as it may feel at times – gives you a false sense of being “safe.” Safe from what?
Holding onto the past keeps you safe from –
being vulnerable and putting your heart back out there
admitting that perhaps he really wasn’t the right guy for you
risking more heartache
This false sense of safety is why we see so many women who months, years, and, yes, even decades, later, are still wondering why they can’t meet a good man, questioning what’s wrong with them, wondering whether they are meant to be happy in a relationship, and believing the lie that – for whatever reason – they are destined to not experience the joy of loving and being loved. Nothing could be further from the truth! However, as scary as it can feel, you have to be courageous enough to let go of the past so that you can open your hand and receive the love that is already waiting for you. How do you do that?
Realize that, while you may still love him, you need to love yourself even more.
Be willing to accept that the relationship is over.
Be committed to removing the love barriers that are blocking love from coming into your life so that you can experience the love, joy, and intimacy you truly desire.
If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re ready to take these steps – even if you’re scared or unsure of how to do it – click below to schedule time to talk with one of us. Click here to schedule time to talk!
We can help you identify what is standing in your way and outline some clear steps you can take to release the past and welcome in the love that you desire and deserve! You’re not alone! We’re here to help you get to the other side of heartache and experience the love that is already waiting there for you!
You deserve to be happy, to love and be loved, and to feel like the beautiful, lovable woman you are. And, while it may feel scary to let go, you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here to support you!
I have to tell you that you have been on my mind constantly lately.
I keep thinking about how important your love life is for you and how much you want to feel the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart desires.
If you’ve been reading some of our emails lately – which you probably have, if you’re reading this one – then you know that we are about to close the doors to our Ready to Love Again Program.
I really don’t want you to miss out on the opportunity to release yourself from the past and all of the Love Barriers that have been blocking love from your life so that you can finally have the love you want and deserve,
Since I haven’t had an opportunity to speak personally with everyone who is interested in creating a radical shift in their love life, I thought that I would shoot a video asking some of the most common questions I’ve been getting during my conversations with women who are wondering, “What do I need to move beyond heartache and get ready to love again?
In this video, I answer questions like:
How can I really let go of the past so that I can move forward in my life?
How do I stop repeating the same patterns in relationships?
How do I know if the Ready to Love Again Program will work for me?
I’ve done a lot of other programs. How is this program different?
But don’t wait, because the program closes at midnight on Monday and I have a few special bonuses for the next 3 women who jump in now!
Watch the video now and I look forward to hearing from you!
Because time is running out and there are so many people wanting to get in before the doors close, there may not be that many sessions available. If you don’t find a time that works for you, send me and email and we’ll figure something out! You and your love life are way too important to put this off, soclick here to schedule time to talk now!
I’m keeping this post short and sweet because we are on vacation and my kids are waiting for me to go do something fun!
However, I just had to take a few minutes to write because I wanted to tell you about two things!
First, we just heard that we have another new bride! That’s right, another one of our clients just got married this past weekend! (It’s getting so that it’s hard to keep count!)
It’s so amazing to see her dreams coming true after all the years she questioned and wondered whether that day would ever come for her!
THIS is why Michelle and I do what we do. THIS is why we are so incredibly committed to you moving beyond all of your fears and excuses and just breaking through the BS that has you feeling like you are stuck where you are. Because THIS is what’s possible for YOU when you do!
I want you to get really honest with yourself as you ask yourself these questions:
Is itreallypossible that there are “no good men” out there?
Or is it more likely that you haven’t attracted the good man who is right for youyet?
Is itreally truethat you can’t get over your ex?
Or is it that you are so afraid of having your heart broken again that you’ll just stay stuck on him to avoid having to get out there, meet people, and open your heart to loving someone again?
Is itreallythat you are just so busy with your career or business, your travel schedule, going out with your friends, etc.?
Or is it that you are so terrified of failing at love that you’d rather tell yourself that you’re “okay,” your life is already great, and there’s no need or desire for you to share it with someone else?
Look, my job is not to make you feel badly about where you are in your life, because I do believe that you need to be happy on your own before you can attract someone who will add to that happiness.
But here’s the deal. It’s NOT that there aren’t any good guys, it’s NOT that you can’t get over your ex, and it’s NOT that your life is already so busy and fulfilled that you feel you don’t need a man with whom to share it.
All that stuff is NOT what is keeping you stuck!
What’s keeping you stuck where you are is all the stuff you keep telling yourself so that you don’t have to take the steps you need to take to have the love you really want.
I get it. I’m a successful woman, too, and I don’t like failing any more than you do.
However, I’d much rather take a risk than be a victim of my circumstances and cheat myself out of the possibility of having everything my heart desires.
Because failing sucks, but it doesn’t suck nearlyas much as regret, which is what you feel when you look back and see that the only thing that really stood in the way of having the love and life you wanted was YOU!
So, just in case one of your “reasons” for not having the love you want is that you can’t seem to move on from your past breakup, I wanted to share with you the recording of a radio show we did a few weeks ago with our very good friend, Simone Kelly, of Own Your Power Radio. The show was about “Starting Over When It’s Over,” and you’ll hear some great advice on the things you can do to move on after a breakup, divorce, or losing your partner.
Here’s my invitation:
Answer the questions above (be honest with yourself).
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.