One of the #1 Fears in Dating Is…

One of the #1 Fears in Dating Is…

by Gladys Diaz 

One of the #1 fears women have is: “I’m  afraid I  will lose myself  in a relationship.” 

Can you relate? 

The thing is, in dating and relationships, you don’t really lose yourself. 

What happens is that you give away your power by straying away from your values.
You give in a little here and a little there, move a boundary further and further past the point that is true for you… and eventually… you simply disappear. 

If you’ve ever felt this way in a relationship, the question to ask yourself is: Which of my  values is  not being honored?

Discovering the answer to that question is the easy way to get back in alignment with yourself and what’s true for you. 

Knowing what your values are, and making sure that you’re living your life according to them, is the simplest way to date — and to live!

In dating, you’re not going to agree on everything. The problem comes in when differences create a conflict within yourself. 

Whether the misalignment is about religion, whether or not you want to wait to be intimate, family relationships, medical conditions, or something else; those things can be worked out – (1) If they are aligned with your values, and (2) if they also align with what your partner wants and values.

But you have to be clear about what your values are.

When these things come up you can handle them as a strong, mature woman instead of as a woman who’s afraid of losing something. 

When you show up as someone who knows who she is, what she wants, where she’s at, and what she’s looking for, then you’ll attract someone who is aligned with and and wants that kind of woman as a partner. 

Having values you live by is  not about having an insurmountable list of “standards” that a man must meet. That way of dating keeps you feeling “safe,” but it also keeps you alone.

Living a life and making choices that are aligned with what you truly value is about raising your standards for yourself. That’s what creates irresistibility. 

You must get crystal-clear on what you want and what your values and standards are in order to create a relationship and partnership that honors them.

When you’re not clear, your brain makes stuff up to make people, things, and situations “fit,”  and that’s when things get “complicated.”

When you’re crystal-clear, there’s no sorta/maybe when it comes to making choices for yourself, your life, and what you want in a relationship.Everything is either aligned with your values, or it’s not. 

It’s that simple. 

If you meet a man that’s not aligned with your values or you’re not aligned with his, trust that he’s not the right one. Honor yourself, admire him for being true to himself, and let it go. 

The more you practice being true to yourself, the easier it gets. 

The more confident you are about your own values, the easier it gets to live in it and create a life and love that reflects and embodies what your heart truly desires. 

When you date this way, you can create an amazing and incredible relationship with someone who is absolutely in love with you– The Real You. 

Sometimes, you may not even realize you’re not clear about what your values are or how to honor them,  so, if you’d like support with discovering what your values are and how you can live more authentically into them, book a call and speak with one of our coaches now.

It’s time for you to find true love!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now!

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected? 

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is:  Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether? 

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way. 

Here’s how it works. 

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past. 

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt. 

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back. 

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly. 

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient. 

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day. 

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship.  I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted. 

Fast forward to now. 

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head. 

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears? 

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it. 

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have? 

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light. 

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice? 

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question. 

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship. 

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again. 

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year,  it’s going to be better than ever! 

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Are You Being Used?

Are You Being Used?

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men? 

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear? 

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”? 

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships. 

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief. 

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

  • you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
  • you feel as if you’re being used for sex
  • you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
  • you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up? 

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience. 

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date. 

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.” 

So ask yourself – 

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating? 

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear? 

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here. 

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating… 

  1. Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself? 
  2. Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions? 
  3. Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
  4. Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return? 

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!  

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it. 

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely  in return. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. 

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

How to Work Through “Deep-Tissue Issues” in Your Love Life

How to Work Through “Deep-Tissue Issues” in Your Love Life

by Gladys Diaz

Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids, and I took the opportunity to pamper myself and get a deep-tissue Swedish massage, courtesy of my wonderful hubby!

As I was lying on the table, enjoying the soft meditation music, the candles, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage, all of a sudden, all I could feel was PAIN! And lots of it!

I actually found myself holding my breath a few times because of the pain I could feel under the masseuse’s expert hands!

At one point, I thought I would tell her to stop, and then I noticed something…

I began to notice how my muscles were responding to her touch.

I became aware of how, while I wasn’t stressed out or feeling pain when I first laid down on the table, there were parts of my body that were obviously story pain and stress, based on the “knots” she was finding and deeply massaging.

And, I noticed how she would dig really deep into a muscle, work there for a while, go somewhere else, and then come back to it and work on it some more.

That’s when I thought of you! (Yes, even while getting a massage, you are on my mind! Can’t help it!)

Here’s why:

I started thinking about how, sometimes, we have some “deep-tissue” pain stored in our memories, our hearts, and our bodies that are related to the past.

Maybe it has to do with a relationship that ended painfully.

Maybe you’re in a relationship right now, where you’re feeling some pain.

Or perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your life and you keep wondering, “I’ve prayed, meditated, read all these books, watched videos, attended courses, and worked with different coaches! When am I finally going to break through this?”

I get it! I’ve been there myself! And, here’s the deal:

Sometimes, you just need to go back and dig a little deeper to truly release the pain so that you can move forward with joy, peace, and the love you desire and deserve!

It’s during those times of release that you are able to put the past back in the past where it belongs so that you can move toward the present and future that are waiting for you!

Well, I was so inspired by all of the thoughts and insights I had during that massage, that, when I finished, I went to Facebook and shot a live video (Well, two, actually, because I lost connection during the first one, but I just had to share this with you!)

 

I know it can be tempting to feel like the “deep-tissue” inner work you’ve done isn’t working, but… what if…?

What if you’re just inches away from your next breakthrough?

What if you can dig a little deeper and finally have the happiness and love you want?

What would that make possible for you?

Check out the video and let me know what opens up for you!

Don’t forget to comment below!  We love hearing from you!

 

The Truth About Your “Trust Issues”

The Truth About Your “Trust Issues”

by Gladys Diaz

 

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I was talking to a client the other day and she was sharing with me how she has a trouble trusting men. When you hear her story, you can understand why she feels that way. A failed marriage, due to infidelity, a failed relationship due to him not fully being over his ex when they got together, and a few other unsuccessful relationships in between. All of this helped reinforce her belief that it was difficult for her to trust men.

As we began to dig deeper into what the patterns in all of these relationships were, we began to uncover the truth about why she was finding it difficult to trust and open her heart to a new man.

Yes, the men she loved gave her reason to not trust them, but the truth was deeper than that.

There was actually a reason she was attracting these men into her life in the first place.

In fact, the real reason she was attracting men who made it difficult for her to trust had very little to do with the men.

It had to do with her.

The person she is really having trouble trusting is herself.

Trusting yourself means that you listen to heart, instead of your head.

 

I know, I know. You feel that listening to your heart is what’s gotten you burned in the past.

I want to invite you to open your heart and mind and consider something different.

When you don’t trust yourself to make the right choices – the choices that are aligned with your values, your truth, and what you really want – then you will likely allow something else to choose for you: Your fears.

When you allow your fears to make your choices, you always end up disappointed.

Your fear of being alone will have you choose to be with someone who isn’t really right for you.

Your fear of not finding someone else who will love you will have you hold on to a relationship that is toxic and unfulfilling.

Your fear that your partner or husband won’t love you the way he used to will have you pretend that nothing is wrong, even though all of the signs are there that the relationship is slowly (or quickly) falling apart.

 

On the other hand, when you trust and honor yourself and your truth:

You choose from a place of power.

You make choices that honor who you are and what you value to be true.

You’re not afraid to make these choices and you don’t feel like you have to force or impose those truths on the other person. You realize that the right man will choose to honor what’s true for you because he values who you are.

 

Allowing your fears to run the show leads to nothing but one disappointing heartache after another.

Learning how to start choosing from a place of power leads to you experiencing the happiness, love, and intimacy your heart truly desires.

If you’re finding it difficult to trust when it comes to relationships, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Do I trust myself to make the choices that are best for me when it comes to relationships?
  2. If not, what is it that has me doubt my ability to make the right choices for myself?
  3. How is this lack of trust impacting my relationships?
  4. How might learning to trust myself give me different results in my relationships?

 

Being real with yourself and looking at what is standing in your way is the only way to transform and do something about it. It’s like any roadblock: Unless you’re clear about what is standing in your way, there is no way to avoid it and you’ll just keep slamming into it… over and over again!

 

If you’re ready to shift this dynamic in your life, answer the questions truthfully and then let me know what begins to open up for you. I’d love to support you in creating a real breakthrough in your love life that leads to you having the love you want and deserve!

And, by the way, as you do all of this, be gentle with yourself. Blaming, faulting, and or beating yourself up about the decisions you’ve made in the past doesn’t serve you unless you are committed to making different choices! And when you’re ready for that, get ready for your life to transform!

How to “Short-Circuit” Dysfunctional Relationship Patterns

How to “Short-Circuit” Dysfunctional Relationship Patterns

by Gladys Diaz

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Few things can be more detrimental to relationships than dysfunctional patterns.  Repeating the same painful experiences over and over again can be exhausting and can make you believe that perhaps there’s nothing you can do to change the results you keep producing!

Learning how to end dysfunctional patterns is one of the first things Michelle and I teach women because, until you address the underlying issues, thoughts, actions, and behaviors that have harmed your relationships in the past, you will continue to repeat them, no matter who your partner is!

So, ask yourself these questions:

Do you keep attracting the same type of man?

Do you keep having the same argument with your partner?

Do you keep having the same outcome, no matter who you are dating?

Do you keep experiencing heartache after heartache and wondering why the same thing keeps happening to you

In today’s video, I teach you the first step in “short-circuiting” a dysfunctional relationship pattern so that you can begin to experience fun, peace and LOVE in your relationships!

Click the image below to watch now!

 

 

This is just the first step in learning how break a dysfunctional behavior pattern once and for all. If you want to discuss your next steps, click below to schedule time to talk with me!

  1. CLICK HERE to schedule time to talk.
  2.  Tell me what dysfunctional pattern you’d like to break in the comment box.
  3. Come to your call ready to have a real breakthrough!