by Gladys Diaz
One of the #1 fears women have is: “I’m afraid I will lose myself in a relationship.”
Can you relate?
The thing is, in dating and relationships, you don’t really lose yourself.
What happens is that you give away your power by straying away from your values.
You give in a little here and a little there, move a boundary further and further past the point that is true for you… and eventually… you simply disappear.
If you’ve ever felt this way in a relationship, the question to ask yourself is: “Which of my values is not being honored?”
Discovering the answer to that question is the easy way to get back in alignment with yourself and what’s true for you.
Knowing what your values are, and making sure that you’re living your life according to them, is the simplest way to date — and to live!
In dating, you’re not going to agree on everything. The problem comes in when differences create a conflict within yourself.
Whether the misalignment is about religion, whether or not you want to wait to be intimate, family relationships, medical conditions, or something else; those things can be worked out – (1) If they are aligned with your values, and (2) if they also align with what your partner wants and values.
But you have to be clear about what your values are.
When these things come up you can handle them as a strong, mature woman instead of as a woman who’s afraid of losing something.
When you show up as someone who knows who she is, what she wants, where she’s at, and what she’s looking for, then you’ll attract someone who is aligned with and and wants that kind of woman as a partner.
Having values you live by is not about having an insurmountable list of “standards” that a man must meet. That way of dating keeps you feeling “safe,” but it also keeps you alone.
Living a life and making choices that are aligned with what you truly value is about raising your standards for yourself. That’s what creates irresistibility.
You must get crystal-clear on what you want and what your values and standards are in order to create a relationship and partnership that honors them.
When you’re not clear, your brain makes stuff up to make people, things, and situations “fit,” and that’s when things get “complicated.”
When you’re crystal-clear, there’s no sorta/maybe when it comes to making choices for yourself, your life, and what you want in a relationship.Everything is either aligned with your values, or it’s not.
It’s that simple.
If you meet a man that’s not aligned with your values or you’re not aligned with his, trust that he’s not the right one. Honor yourself, admire him for being true to himself, and let it go.
The more you practice being true to yourself, the easier it gets.
The more confident you are about your own values, the easier it gets to live in it and create a life and love that reflects and embodies what your heart truly desires.
When you date this way, you can create an amazing and incredible relationship with someone who is absolutely in love with you– The Real You.
Sometimes, you may not even realize you’re not clear about what your values are or how to honor them, so, if you’d like support with discovering what your values are and how you can live more authentically into them, book a call and speak with one of our coaches now.
It’s time for you to find true love!