by heartsdesireintl | Jan 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men?
Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?
Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear?
Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”?
If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships.
And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.
That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!
If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief.
Warning signs that you have this belief are that:
- you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
- you feel as if you’re being used for sex
- you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
- you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you
Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up?
If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!
This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience.
And that belief was most likely created years before your first date.
One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.
When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.”
So ask yourself –
Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?
Are you having painful experiences in dating?
OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear?
The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here.
If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating…
- Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself?
- Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions?
- Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
- Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return?
Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!
If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it.
You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely in return.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!
Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now
Lots of love,
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 13, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Are you really happy?
I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!
Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic.
These are all human emotions.
What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.”
An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away.
Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.
And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions.
See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting. The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up. Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them.
So how do you release toxic emotions?
1. Feel it.
As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.
2. Process it.
Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having?
Is it causing you to lash out?
Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it?
Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness?
Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people?
Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you?
Another place to look to how toxic emotions may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies.
Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping? What is your body telling you?
Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you?
If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself: Where, energetically, am I in breakdown? “What in my life is out of integrity?
These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.
3. Release it.
Once you’ve done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion. Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening, and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.
Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition.
The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long. Instead, allow yourself to feel them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires.
If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them. You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want. And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!
Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!
Lots of love,
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 6, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love
by Michelle Roza
Do you want to be cherished?
I don’t know about you, but that word just brings all the feels!
To be cherished. What does that really mean?
Literally, the word cherish means to hold dear, to show affection for, to cultivate care, and to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.
Being cherished looks like being absolutely loved, cared for, and protected.
So how do you attract the man that will not only cherish you, but cherish you forever?
#1 – Believe You’re Worth It.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it forever, because it really is that important.
The reason why we say it over and over is because I don’t think any of us walk around consciously thinking that we aren’t worth it. But, when you stop and honestly look at what’s underneath, do you really know that you deserve to be cherished?
I know, for me, I remember when I didn’t believe.
On the surface, everything looked great, but, underneath, it wasn’t great at. Because I didn’t believe that I was worth it.
I never allowed myself to be seen by the men who I thought were really great. The high-quality, good character men, I just didn’t show up for. I always went one step below.
Because that’s what I felt like I deserved.
I felt so much shame about my divorce, about dating not working for me, and about being alone. I felt like my time was just about up to find love, and I was so desperate for love!
Can you relate?
It wasn’t until I did the HeartWork – the internal work to release, heal, and let go of the layers of fear, shame and heartache – that things started to shift.
I started to feel better FOR REAL, so that’s what started being reflected out in the world, and that’s what I began attracting.
I stopped attracting “not good”men and “not-good-for-me” men and started attracting those good guys that had the qualities that I desired
And I soon found Arnie.
The #1 thing you MUST do in order to find the partner that will cherish you forever is to believe that you are worth it.
#2 – Make Yourself a Priority
You must make yourself a priority if you expect anyone else to. And it’s not just about doing your nails and your hair and looking physically attractive. It’s also not about buying yourself more “stuff.”
Making yourself a priority is about spending time with yourself. Filling yourself up so that you aren’t looking to be filled by someone else.
We all have big lives and sometimes we can end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile – and that doesn’t help anyone.
Your way of being is the most attractive thing to a man (and everyone else). So make yourself a priority, so that you have light to give.
#3 – Honor Your Word
If you want a man that will cherish, respect, and love you, then YOU must cherish you and respect you and love you.
Honor your word.
If you say you will go to bed at 10:00, go to bed at 10:00.
If you say you’ll go to the gym at 7am, then get up and go to the gym at 7am.
If you tell your kids that bedtime is 9pm, then put them to bed at 9pm.
When you don’t honor your word, then others don’t know what they can count on your for. Worse than that, even YOU don’t know what you can count on yourself for. That breeds self-doubt, and it’s all downhill from there.
You will learn to not trust yourself, and you can’t trust a man if can’t trust yourself to choose the right man.
Stop living your life based on your feelings, because your feelings change! Start living your life by your commitments, saying “this WILL be” and then making sure it is so. Do that, and see what changes!
You see, it really does begin with you.
We may sound like a broken record, but it’s the absolute truth.
I was talking to a client the other day who just got married!!! I was remembering one of our first conversations when we uncovered her belief that there was something wrong with her because she was in her 50’s and had never been married. She believed that it would have been better to have been divorced 3 times than to be her age and have never been in a long-term relationship.
What a limiting belief! But can you relate?
Once we uncovered that limiting belief and she did her HeartWork, she started showing up in the world differently. She was smiling again. She felt good! And she was no longer on a timeline. She knew that she deserved it and that it was on it’s way to her.
She ended up attracting a man that she’d met decades before who came back into her life, and now they are happily married.
It is possible if you just believe.
So, if you really want to learn how you can start cherishing yourself and then attract the man that will cherish you forever then act NOW to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening this weekend!
Click here to grab your spot (only 2 left!)!
At this event, we’ll help you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for the love that your heart desires deeply, and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020!
There are only 2 spots left at this event, and we’d love one of them to be yours!
Remember: It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!
Lots of love,
Michelle
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 1, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Do you know anyone– maybe a girlfriend – who seems desperate when it comes to dating?
Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could just feel the desperation coming off of them? (Yes, men can put of these vibes, too!)
Maybe you’re the one that feels like you get weird when you’re interested in someone, and maybe you feel like, no matter how hard you try, all you ever do is push men away?
Think about this for a minute… Are you operating out of Desperation or Desire?
The feeling of desperation comes from FEAR.
You feel like it’s not going to happen for you, or that it’s going to be hard.
You worry about what to say, what not to say, why he’s not texting, if you should text first.
The truth is that you’re in a scarcity mindset, which has you think that every guy HAS to be the one, so you MUST make it work.
Sound familiar?
When you’re operating out of desire you feel FREE.
You’re aligned with what turns your heart on and you know you can be yourself and be loved for just that.
You’re clear about what you want and your behavior, words, and being all align with creating that.
Operating out of desire is how you manifest what you want. It is the only way that works.
When you stop operating out of fear and desperation, everything in life changes. Everything.
The thing is, you might not even realize that FEAR is what is driving you.
You may think that because you’ve made your checklist for your perfect man that you know what you want and that desire is driving you, but listen up, because this may surprise you.
And, by the way, desperation isn’t a single’s-only phenomenon. Women in relationships act out of desperation, too!
Acting out of desperation looks like checking his things, dropping hints, being controlling or asking leading questions to manipulate your guy or get him to say or do something you want.
In dating, it might look like pursuing a man in dating – calling him, asking him on dates, suggesting you meet up, “coincidentally” showing up at a place he might be in hopes of running into him – all of this is pursuing.
Desperation can even look like sleeping with a man too soon, getting into a relationship before you know his character and his values or compromising your own values in order to get with him.
In a relationship, it can look like having to approve his every decision, trying to guilt him into doing things, and even trying to get him to talk when he prefers to go into his man cave.
When you’re coming from this place, you are in a state of scarcity. You’re afraid you’re not going to get what you want, so you WORK HARD to make sure that you do.
Desperation has a VERY STRONG energy associated with it, and men can feel it a mile away!
So how do you shift into the easy, breezy, flowy, energy that is so attractive to be around?
- Recognize when you’re in fear. As humans, we’re always going to feel fear. Power comes from recognizing that fears are only thoughts and that it’s the fears that are causing you to do the things you don’t want to do.
- Be CRYSTAL-CLEAR about what you want. When you know what you want, you can see right away when something (or someone) doesn’t align with that. Act out of intention and make adjustments to your behavior, communication, boundaries, etc., so that everything is in alignment with what you want to create.
BONUS Tip: It is not enough to desire to be “in a relationship.” Being crystal-clear means asking questions like: What type of relationship do you want? What do you want to experience inside that relationship? How do you want to feel? What types of things do you want to do together? The clearer you are, the more powerful the intention is.
- Recognize where you are not aligned, and shift. What are you doing that’s not aligned with that you want? What are the ways of you being that you get to create inside yourself in order to be aligned with your desires? Do you want to be able to be yourself and not feel judged inside of a relationship? Then BE yourself and don’t judge others. BE the love you want to see!
Lots of love,
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 25, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Do you know anyone– maybe a girlfriend – who seems desperate when it comes to dating?
Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could just feel the desperation coming off of them? (Yes, men can put of these vibes, too!)
Maybe you’re the one that feels like you get weird when you’re interested in someone, and maybe you feel like, no matter how hard you try, all you ever do is push men away?
Think about this for a minute… Are you operating out of Desperation or Desire?
The feeling of desperation comes from FEAR.
You feel like it’s not going to happen for you, or that it’s going to be hard.
You worry about what to say, what not to say, why he’s not texting, if you should text first.
The truth is that you’re in a scarcity mindset, which has you think that every guy HAS to be the one, so you MUST make it work.
Sound familiar?
When you’re operating out of desire you feel FREE.
You’re aligned with what turns your heart on and you know you can be yourself and be loved for just that.
You’re clear about what you want and your behavior, words, and being all align with creating that.
Operating out of desire is how you manifest what you want. It is the only way that works.
When you stop operating out of fear and desperation, everything in life changes. Everything.
The thing is, you might not even realize that FEAR is what is driving you.
You may think that because you’ve made your checklist for your perfect man that you know what you want and that desire is driving you, but listen up, because this may surprise you.
And, by the way, desperation isn’t a single’s-only phenomenon. Women in relationships act out of desperation, too!
Acting out of desperation looks like checking his things, dropping hints, being controlling or asking leading questions to manipulate your guy or get him to say or do something you want.
In dating, it might look like pursuing a man in dating – calling him, asking him on dates, suggesting you meet up, “coincidentally” showing up at a place he might be in hopes of running into him – all of this is pursuing.
Desperation can even look like sleeping with a man too soon, getting into a relationship before you know his character and his values or compromising your own values in order to get with him.
In a relationship, it can look like having to approve his every decision, trying to guilt him into doing things, and even trying to get him to talk when he prefers to go into his man cave.
When you’re coming from this place, you are in a state of scarcity. You’re afraid you’re not going to get what you want, so you WORK HARD to make sure that you do.
Desperation has a VERY STRONG energy associated with it, and men can feel it a mile away!
So how do you shift into the easy, breezy, flowy, energy that is so attractive to be around?
- Recognize when you’re in fear. As humans, we’re always going to feel fear. Power comes from recognizing that fears are only thoughts and that it’s the fears that are causing you to do the things you don’t want to do.
- Be CRYSTAL-CLEAR about what you want. When you know what you want, you can see right away when something (or someone) doesn’t align with that. Act out of intention and make adjustments to your behavior, communication, boundaries, etc., so that everything is in alignment with what you want to create.
BONUS Tip: It is not enough to desire to be “in a relationship.” Being crystal-clear means asking questions like: What type of relationship do you want? What do you want to experience inside that relationship? How do you want to feel? What types of things do you want to do together? The clearer you are, the more powerful the intention is.
- Recognize where you are not aligned, and shift. What are you doing that’s not aligned with that you want? What are the ways of you being that you get to create inside yourself in order to be aligned with your desires? Do you want to be able to be yourself and not feel judged inside of a relationship? Then BE yourself and don’t judge others. BE the love you want to see!
Lots of love,
Gladys & Michelle
The Love Twins
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 2, 2018 | Communication, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Let me ask you…
What is the most important thing to you, when it comes to romantic relationships?
If you’re like the majority of the women, you’re answer is probably something like, “I want to be with someone who loves and accepts me exactly the way I am.”
Not too much to ask for, right?
Who doesn’t want to be fully loved and accepted?
The problem is that, while many people say they want to be unconditionally loved, not all of them are BEing unconditionally loving.
Don’t believe me? Have you ever said something like this about your partner:
“If only he would ______, THEN we could be happy.”
Or, what about:
“The only reason we’re not happy is because he ____.”
Listen, I know there are things about your partner you may not like. I’ve been with my husband for 19 years. I love him with all my heart… AND… there are things he does that I don’t like.
For years, I tried to convince, encourage, and persuade him to be less angry, more peaceful, less negative, and more positive.
I read him articles and book excerpts, I gave tons of unsolicited advice. Heck, I even took him with me to course, saying that it was “for us,” and then we weren’t allowed to even sit together for 3 full days!
On the way home, in the middle of an argument about the course, we stopped at a red light. He turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and said, “When are you going to stop trying to fix and change me? I haven’t changed. THIS is who you married. THIS is who you promised to love!”
In the moment, I wanted to say, “I’m not trying to fix and change you!”
I wish I could have, but I couldn’t.
He was right.
All of the “helpful” suggestions, videos, books, and courses I would share with him were because I wanted him to change so that we could be happy.
What I didn’t realize is that with every suggestion, paragraph, and quote I shared, I was sending the man I promised to love forever the message that I didn’t truly love and accept him.
Thanks to that…um… “conversation,” I realized what I was doing and the impact it was having on my marriage. Shortly after, I began focusing all of my reading, studying, and coursework on learning how I could be more loving and accepting.
I took the focus off of him and put it all onto becoming the best version of me.
I began learning how to say what I thought, felt, and wanted in a way that focused on me and my needs, and not on what he wasn’t doing to meet them.
I started really listening to my husband and seeking to understand him and his viewpoints and opinions.
And something AMAZING happened!
In a few short months, we were laughing again.
He was being more positive and peaceful.
We were barely arguing.
And the romance and fun was back in our marriage!
Who knew that focusing on ME would inspire HIM to change?
(By the way, those are HIS words, not mine!)
I don’t know what you are going through in your marriage, but if you are tired of telling your husband what he needs to do or do differently, how he needs to change, and all of the reasons why he’s responsible for your unhappiness, AND you want to change that dynamic to one where there is really unconditional love and happiness in the relationship, then wouldn’t it make sense to figure out how to do that?
Wouldn’t it be worth it to learn how to easily turn arguing and the “me vs. you” dynamic in the relationship into truly connecting and into a “you and me” dynamic?
If that’s what you want for yourself and your relationship, then CLICK HERE and share with me what the biggest challenge you are facing in your relationship is.
I promise to respond to your message and give you some real next steps you can take to start turning your relationship around so that you can finally have the happy, loving, peaceful relationship you really want!
You don’t have to go through years of making the same mistakes I made.
Let’s figure out what you can do to make your relationship the kind of happy, unconditionally loving relationship you’ve always wanted!
CLICK HERE! I’m here to help!
It doesn’t have to be hard. I promise!
