Does spirituality or religion play an integral role in your life?
Some of the questions we often get from our clients about this topic are:
When is it appropriate to bring up religion in the dating experience?
What if he doesn’t share my same beliefs? Can a relationship still work?
How much should I share?
What if we’re not aligned?
What if I can’t ever find someone I’m attracted to that’s in my religion?
So, let’s give you some answers!
If you’re unwilling to date outside of your religion – put it in your dating profile. If this matters to you, trust that you will find someone who is aligned because hiding it or pushing down that desire won’t ever work.
Otherwise, we suggest that you don’t bring it up and allow it to come up naturally in the dating experience.
We recommend not having heavy and significant conversations early on while dating. The beginning of getting to know someone should feel light and fun and exciting!
If the topic comes up naturally, and it’s something that’s important for you to share, then simply be honest and authentic.
This is how it happened for me…
Ric and I met at a dance club and then we spent hours more talking that night. The topic of religion came up naturally because in Ric sharing about his divorce, I shared that my previous husband had passed away.
Ric asked me how I ever got through something like that and my authentic response was, “My faith in God is the only thing that got me through it.”
That was authentic and a very natural response for me because my religion was a big part of my life at the time. I was in a Christian band, I was a youth minister, and I went to church every Sunday.
Ric had very different beliefs.
While he was also Catholic, he wasn’t actively practicing. Later in our dating relationship we talked about religion more and he expressed that his main concern was that I would try and convert him.
We decided then that mutual respect and peace were two values that we would always hold in our marriage. We wouldn’t ever feel the need to defend or debate our beliefs.
I expressed that it was important that my children be baptized and that I was married in the church. He didn’t have a problem with either of those things and that’s what happened.
Over 20 years into marriage and that mutual respect has remained. Having differing beliefs has never been a problem.
It can work!
What’s important is that you’re gracious, accepting, authentic, respectful and honest with yourself and with him from the beginning.
Marriage will throw many different balls at you and the fact is, you and your partner aren’t going to always agree. That doesn’t mean that someone has to be wrong.
Respect is what will get you through.
Being clear on who you are and what you want is critical.
The most important thing to remember while dating is that a man can’t fall in love with you if you aren’t there. You get to be authentic and show up fully as you!
Let go of judgments. Be honest. Be authentic.
If you’re ready to be in the relationship of your dreams, want to get crystal clear on who you are and know how to attract that relationship to you before the end of this year then join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE 2022 in September!
This 3-day virtual event is specifically for smart, successful, strong women who also want to be successful in love.
We have a special offer that includes a ticket going on now and the price is only going to go up.
What is standing in your way of creating the relationship of your dreams?
Are there self-sabotaging tendencies and patterns that are causing your love life to not move forward like you’d like it to?
If so, are you getting frustrated, angry or hopeless?
The frustration you feel that things aren’t happening like you’d like can manifest differently for different people.
Maybe you feel angry – thinking that all men are jerks, dating sucks, and online dating will never lead you to a good man.
Perhaps you feel sad and hopeless – thinking that it’s never really going to happen for you, so why even try? Which leads you to wanting to give up.
If that’s what you’re currently experiencing, it’s important to look at how often those feelings show up, not just in your love life, but in every aspect of your life, because that’s going to give you the clues to what you need to shift.
So, how do you make the relationship of your dreams happen now?
First, you have to get crystal-clear on what you want to experience in that relationship.
Notice that we didn’t say, get crystal-clear on what you want the man to be like or what you want to get out of the relationship.
It’s about the experience you want to have!
When you focus on what the man is like – if he has kids, what his career is, what he looks like, etc – it causes you to focus outside of you and to give up your power to create what you want It feels like there is this “one specific person that must exist” in order for you to be happy, and that has you giving your power away.
When you focus on the experience you want to create, it’s not about looking for “one person” so that you can have the relationship you want, it’s about creating something that another person wants to be part of creating with you!
What do you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams?
Do you want to experience….
💕 calm communication
💕 soul-level intimacy
💕 unconditional love
💕 having a best friend and someone championing you in life
💕 feeling heard
💕 travel the world
💕 honesty and faithfulness
The second thing you need in order to begin experiencing the relationship of your dreams is to have the skills to create your crystal-clear vision.
You may say you want a cheerleader and best friend as a partner in life, but then you spend time protecting yourself and criticizing every man that comes along.
You may say you want to have fun and adventure, but then don’t want to spend time meeting new men on the app.
See the disconnect? Fear is standing in the way of you attracting what you want.
How do you recognize that there’s a fear that’s running you?
That’s where we come in!
A coach will tell you when and where you’re sabotaging yourself. A coach will support you in seeing what you can’t see.
We will show you the fears you have and the masks you may be wearing that are blocking you from having the love you want.
AND, we’ll teach you how to get those Love Barriers out of the way so that you can begin experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy you desire and deserve!
We will cause you to have a breakthrough!
If you’re ready to have a breakthrough so you can actually start experiencing the kind of love you desire, then join us tomorrow, Saturday, July 17th at 12pm ET for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass!
In three information-packed hours, you’ll learn exactly how to break through the patterns that have been sabotaging your love life and relationships, tap into your Irresistible Essence, and easily attract and keep the love you want NOW, so that you can create the happy, loving relationship with the man who is going to love you for the rest of your life!
PLUS, this masterclass is being offered to you for FREE! What is there to stop you?
When you don’t have the conscious knowledge of what’s holding you back, all you can do is what you already know to do. And if you keep doing what you’ve always done – all you can hope to experience is what you’ve always had.
This workshop style masterclass will support you getting crystal-clear clarity on what you need to do differently so that you can start moving forward in your love life and really start attracting the man and relationship of your dreams… starting right NOW!!!
Someone you look up to? Someone who’s made a difference for you?
Who would you like to be more like?
What characteristics do they have that you admire?
Do they show integrity? Are they authentic and real? Maybe they have high energy that’s contagious. Are they loving and generous? Are they dignified and show grace under fire?
Take Oprah, for example. There is just such an amazing way that she exemplifies grace under fire. She is compassionate while being rigorous. She is kind while being strong. She speaks up and takes a stand without being reactive. She is dignified.
Those are just a few of the things that we look up to in women.
How about you?
Oftentimes, we recognize things in others that we’d like to develop more of in ourselves.
Whether you’re in a relationship or dating, it’s essential to be self-aware. To be able to recognize the places within yourself that are your opportunities for growth.
We say, “opportunities for growth,” because it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re trying to be something you’re not. One of the biggest sources of stress in dating and relationships comes from being inauthentic or trying to be someone you’re not.
We say “opportunities for growth,” because recognizing the areas in which you’d like to develop are opportunities for higher levels of self-esteem, confidence and more desired experiences.
And all of those things are highly attractive, right?
It’s like that awesome quote by Sophia Bush says:
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.”
You can strive to develop yourself while also exercising self-love and grace and always striving to be your authentic best.
So what are the ways of being you’d like to embody ?
Here are some ideas from our community:
Owning a State of Ease
Sense of Humor
And those are just a start!
What is it for you?
Choose two ways of being that would make the biggest difference for you and for those around you that you can focus on embodying this week.
And remember to make itfun!
There is a natural human desire to grow. There’s so much fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from recognizing your growth opportunities and doing something about them!
If you’d like help recognizing what some of those opportunities are for you, book a Love Breakthrough Call. That’s what we’re here for!
Sometimes, the thing holding us back is in our blind spot, and all it takes is someone to lovingly point it out, help us remove it and replace it with something else that makes all the difference.
Even before the events of Covid-19 shook our world, women would come to us because they were triggered by the distance they felt in relationships.
Whether it was physical distance or perceived distance (like he starts texting/calling less than he did before), distance is something that causes a lot of women anxiety.
Because of the events of the last couple of months and the “social distancing” regulations that have been put on all of us, this anxiety may be amplified for you.
If anxiety in relationships isn’t something you had previously dealt with, it may be something that has been coming up for you now.
As these “social distancing” regulations begin to be lifted in different parts of the country, a whole new kind of anxiety might be setting in for you. The anxiety of whether it’s really safe to go out now? …to meet someone new? …to hug or kiss?
If you have been or are experiencing anxiety for any reason, you’re not alone, and the number one thing you can do for yourself under our current circumstances is to honor yourself. Get clarity around what’s true for you. Let go of social agreements and make a decision you can stand by.
One of the essential elements of being an Irresistible Woman is being connected to what you really feel and standing confidently in it.
So, what do you do if, because the restrictions are being lifted in your community, a guy asks you if you’d like to meet, and you still feel like it’s too soon?
You can say, “For me, it’s still too soon to meet in person, but I’d love to keep getting to know you.” From there he can decide whether or how he wants to make that happen.
It’s as easy as that.
What if you had anxiety before Covid-19? Did experiencing distance (either physical or perceived distance ) in a relationship trigger you before?
Did you find yourself sending memes that you found funny or articles you thought he’d be interested in because you’re feeling anxious that you haven’t heard from him in a few days (or hours!)
Do you find yourself doing these things just so you can get on his radar and get the hit that will deflate the anxiety when/if he responds?
If so, remember this: It’s not as helpful to pay attention to what he’s doing as it is to pay attention to how you’re reacting to it.
Your reaction is what’s causing the anxiety.
When the anxiety hits, ask yourself: “What is it that’s really bothering me?” “Why does not hearing from him worry me so much?”
And then be gentle with yourself.
It’s a fear that’s getting triggered, and it can feel all-consuming.
Take a breath and remind yourself that you’re safe and nothing bad is happening to you.
If you’re feeling this over a guy you’ve just started seeing, then remind yourself that you’re just getting to know each other and it’s okay that you haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t mean anything.
If it’s someone you’ve been seeing a little longer, then ask yourself if the anxiety you’re feeling is because you’re getting attached because he’s the only person you’re seeing. If you’re still not in a committed relationship with a man, maybe it’s time to open up to seeing others as well.
It is also powerful to notice if anxiety is a pattern you’ve created for yourself.
Not to downplay it in any way, as anxiety is a very real experience that has your nervous system go crazy and triggers irrational thoughts. But notice if being in a state of high anxiety is something you’ve trained yourself to feel.
We find with many women that they feel “alive” when they’re worrying about something and that, even when things are calm and going well, they still feel anxiety because they automatically (and subconsciously) start looking for something to worry about it.
Anxiety can also be triggered by wanting to control people, conditions, or circumstances that are outside of your control.
If you notice yourself in this pattern, start teaching yourself how to shift.
If you find yourself looking for something to worry about, notice and laugh about it. Then think of something you’re grateful for, or think of something else you can focus your attention on that you do have control over so that you can begin to retrain your mind out of the pattern of constant worrying.
There is so much more we could share on this topic, and so much of this really requires personal coaching to get to the root of what triggers the anxiety in the first place!
This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the second Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 2nd at 12pm Eastern!
Because we had such an incredible turn out last week, because so many of you asked if we could offer the training again – and because we had so much fun – we decided to do it one more time!
In this interactive masterclass you will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating skills, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.
Do you have “high standards” or “unrealistic expectations?”
Just think about that for a minute….
This is a HOT topic that we get asked questions about all the time because it can be confusing. We can trick ourselves into thinking we have high standards, when what we really have are unrealistic expectations that are leading to missed opportunities, heartache in relationships, and unnecessary drama.
And men don’t like drama! 😉
So… what’s the difference?
And how can you be sure you know where you are coming from?
Standards are aligned with your values. They are based on your beliefs, they are good for your life, and protect you from unnecessary harm and heartache.
Having standards in dating looks like not dating someone that does drugs or is addicted to alcohol. It also looks like dating someone who has integrity and does what he says he’ll do.
Standards come from inside of you.
Expectations are things that you are “requiring” from someone else and are usually based on a “list” of criteria that you think a person should meet. They are preferences.
Expectations in dating looks like not dating someone who hasn’t gotten a college education or who doesn’t happen to be an entrepreneur. It looks like not dating someone who has/hasn’t been married before or who does/doesn’t already have kids. It also looks like not dating someone who’s an introvert or who isn’t over 6 feet tall.
In relationships, it looks like not appreciating the things your man does for you or always making him feel like he has to be a certain way. It looks like expecting your man to love you no matter how you behave, even when you’.
Expectations are something you’re looking for out there. They have nothing to do with who a person actually is, and everything to do with what you’ve made up about what certain things mean about them.
Expectations come from fear.
They come from what we saw as a child, what we’ve experienced in other relationships, or from an irrational or imagined fear.
So, think about it again… in your relationships, and dating are you coming from a set of standards or are you coming from a set of expectations?
How is that affecting your experience of love and relationships?
What is it costing you to have those unrealistic expectations of others?
What are you afraid is/isn’t going to happen if you don’t stick to your expectations?
We get it. We have both experienced this on both sides of the equation.
When Michelle was dating after her divorce, she was desperately trying to prove that there was nothing wrong with her. She’d experienced a lot of hurt in her past relationship and wasn’t going to go there again. So, she set expectations. He had to be older, he had to be established in his career, and he also had to be divorced with kids so he’d understand how she felt.
She set these expectations thinking she was just doing what was best for herself, but she was protecting and not allowing herself to actually be and get to know the men she was with, which led to a terrible dating experience!
If she’d stayed committed to those preferences, she would have missed out on being married to the amazing man she’s married to today, because he – who was younger, was in transition between careers, had never been married, or had kids – wouldn’t have even shown up on her radar, because he didn’t meet all of those requirements.
For me, I remember experiencing this in my marriage. By thinking that my way was the right way, I was constantly making my husband feel like he wasn’t enough. And, while the words, “You’re not enough” NEVER came out of my mouth and I truly thought I was communicating well and just trying to make him better, it left him feeling unhappy, unsure of himself, and disrespected.
It makes me emotional just thinking about how I made the man that I love more than anything, and who I promised to love no matter what, feel any of those things.
Now, what about you?
What are you currently experiencing in dating and in your relationships? And what do you WANT to experience?
If through reading, you’ve realized that maybe you’re coming more from expectations, it’s okay! You just need to look at that and ask yourself what’s the fear underneath it all that is stopping you from having the experience you want in relationships.
Because once you get to the bottom of the fear, you can start to build up from there.
During our Love Chat with the Love Twins this week, one of our past clients said this :
“Please listen to the Love Twins! Once I got rid of the superficial requirements for a man…like height, hair and even education!! I concentrated on how do i feel… and I found a man who treats me like a Queen. Thank you Gladys and Michelle your HeartWork… it works!”
We want you to experience the relationship of your dreams. To wake up every morning next to the person you love and who loves you in return.
Don’t let your expectations keep you from having that. Because the person you end up with might surprise you and that surprise will be the best gift you give yourself, IF you allow it to be!
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who live in the U.S. and celebrate this wonderful holiday!
Today, my heart is overflowing with thanks!
For the past two weeks, I have been in Hawaii, enjoying more natural beauty than I even knew existed! From beautiful beaches, to majestic mountains, and breathtaking sunsets, it has been one miraculous moment after the other.
If you would have told me a few years ago that I would be spending Thanksgiving with my husband and kids on this amazing island, I probably would not have thought it would be possible.
Yet, here we are! And every moment of this trip has been a dream come true!
While some people may say that I should have come alone with my husband for a romantic getaway, I’ll tell you what I know to be true! Love and romance are a creation! We get to create as much love, passion, and romance as our hearts desire. And, while, yes, perhaps it may have been a bit more romantic to be here without the kids, that hasn’t stopped us from creating some truly romantic moments while we’ve been here.
The first one happened at the Pearl Harbor Memorial, I mentioned to my husband that I would love to have a unique souvenir that I would see and use often and that would remind me of our trip. Before we left Pearl Harbor, we saw a small kiosk selling Hawaiian pearls. As soon as I saw the pendant of “The Tree of Life,” I gasped! It was so beautiful and original, and the monument had moved me to tears. Plus, knowing that the tree symbolizes rebirth, renewal, and a reminder that we are all interconnected made it all the more special!
I kept going between wanting the ring or the pendant, because they were both so beautiful! Then, my husband surprised me by telling the saleslady, “She’ll take both of them!” I squealed with delight as my eyes watered up and I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a sweet, long kiss!
The saleslady’s eyes watered, too, and she said, “How cute! How long have you two been together?”
“17 years,” I
“Wow! And he is still like that with you? You are lucky!”
“Yes. I’m blessed,” I said, and gave him another hug!
Then the next day, after driving all over the island to find the perfect spot to watch the sunset, because I mentioned that I wanted to see the sun set the previous day,” there was a Hawaiian man with a dreamy voice who began to sing, “What a Wonderful World.”
That happens to be one of my favorite songs, and with the sun setting, my husband and my kids there with me, the words took on a whole new meaning, and, again, my eyes watered as I looked over at my husband and smiled.
He stood up, came around to my side of the table, and drew me into his arms so that I could dance with him! No one else was dancing, and it didn’t matter. We just stared into each other’s eyes and danced! Another moment I will never forget!
So, why am I telling you all of this?
Because THIS is the kind of love you can have!
I’m not “lucky” and this relationship didn’t “just happen.” I have spent over two decades learning about what makes love last, I practice what I teach in my marriage ever single day, and making sure that you experience the joy of KNOWING that you are loved every single day of your life is why I do the work I do!
No matter where you are in your love life, whether you are single and ready to attract the man of your dreams, or you are in a relationship and you want to continue making the love grow deeper, stronger, and more passionate with time, YOU can have the loving relationship your heart desires!
You can learn the secrets to BEing a Simply Irresistible Woman — the kind of woman a man can’t help but love, and adore, and desire!
That’s why you want to make sure you keep your eyes open for our Black Friday special. We have NEVER offered such a generous sale before, and, honestly, we don’t plan on doing it again.
If you’re ready to start turning your love life around and you want to be the kind of woman who can attract and create a forever kind of love, then make sure you mark your calendar for midnight (12:00am ET) Friday, because this is an once-in-a-lifetime simply irresistible offer that can help you experience and have love for a lifetime!
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