by Gladys Diaz
Do you have a fear of being hurt or rejected?
If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!
And it doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!
It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, the fear of rejection or getting hurt goes away…
But that’s just not true.
The fear of rejection creates barriers to feeling like yourself and feeling safe in a relationship.
It holds you back from creating deep, intimate connections – whether you’re already in a relationship or seeking to create one.
No matter the reason you have this fear or how it manifests for you, the impact it creates is the same.
Here’s how it works…
You have a fear that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.
This fear then causes you to react in a certain way, which is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.
This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.
It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.
It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling completely scared inside.
Here’s how it looked for me.
Because I was scared of being rejected, I was always trying to prove myself.
And it showed up in work, in my relationships, as a mother, everywhere.
My previous marriage was not a happy one.
I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it.
Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door – and hoping that today might be a good day.
My fear of being alone and needing to be accepted caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship where I was treated in ways that are now absolutely unimaginable to me.
I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.
So why does this matter for you?
Do you accept behavior or communication that isn’t aligned with what you want because you’re afraid of being rejected?
Do you feel like your feelings won’t be validated because you fear you’ll be used or get hurt.
When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!
So how do you overcome these fears?
The first thing you need to do is – recognize and acknowledge the fear.
When you recognize yourself in the space where the fear is coming to the surface, ask yourself these two questions.
- What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?
- If I didn’t have this fear and was standing inside my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?
When you acknowledge your fear, get curious about it and own it – you allow yourself to step into your power and know that you get to choose how you feel and behave.
The truth is…
You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience.
When you don’t break through your fear, the fear chooses for you!
When you transform yourself – YOU get to choose.
You get to create the Extraordinary Love that you imagine!
If you’d like to overcome your fear of rejection so you can get into the relationship of your dreams by this summer – yes, you read that right, THIS SUMMER…
Then click HERE to schedule a Love Breakthrough Call with one of our fabulous Love Coaches.
Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!