Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have “high standards” or “unrealistic expectations?”

Just think about that for a minute…. 

This is a HOT topic that we get asked questions about all the time because it can be confusing. We can trick ourselves into thinking we have high standards, when what we really have are unrealistic expectations that are leading to missed opportunities, heartache in relationships, and unnecessary drama. 

And men don’t like drama! 😉 

So… what’s the difference?

And how can you be sure you know where you are coming from? 

Standards

Standards are aligned with your values. They are based on your beliefs, they are good for your life, and protect you from unnecessary harm and heartache. 

Having standards in dating looks like not dating someone that does drugs or is addicted to alcohol. It also looks like dating someone who has integrity and does what he says he’ll do.

Standards come from inside of you. 

Expectations

Expectations are things that you are “requiring” from someone else and are usually based on a “list” of criteria that you think a person should meet. They are preferences. 

Expectations in dating looks like not dating someone who hasn’t gotten a college education or who doesn’t happen to be an entrepreneur. It looks like not dating someone who has/hasn’t been married before or who does/doesn’t already have kids. It also looks like not dating someone who’s an introvert or who isn’t over 6 feet tall. 

In relationships, it looks like not appreciating the things your man does for you or always making him feel like he has to be a certain way. It looks like expecting your man to love you no matter how you behave, even when you’. 

Expectations are something you’re looking for out there. They have nothing to do with who a person actually is, and everything to do with what you’ve made up about what certain things mean about them. 

Expectations come from fear.

They come from what we saw as a child, what we’ve experienced in other relationships, or from an irrational or imagined fear. 

So, think about it again… in your relationships, and dating are you coming from a set of standards or are you coming from a set of expectations?

How is that affecting your experience of love and relationships?

What is it costing you to have those unrealistic expectations of others?

What are you afraid is/isn’t going to happen if you don’t stick to your expectations? 

We get it. We have both experienced this on both sides of the equation. 

When Michelle was dating after her divorce, she was desperately trying to prove that there was nothing wrong with her. She’d experienced a lot of hurt in her past relationship and wasn’t going to go there again. So, she set expectations. He had to be older, he had to be established in his career, and he also had to be divorced with kids so he’d understand how she felt. 

She set these expectations thinking she was just doing what was best for herself, but she was protecting and not allowing herself to actually  be and get to know the men she was with, which led to a terrible dating experience! 

If she’d stayed committed to those preferences, she would have missed out on being married to the amazing man she’s married to today, because he – who was younger, was in transition between careers, had never been married, or had kids – wouldn’t have even shown up on her radar, because he didn’t meet all of those requirements.  

For me, I remember experiencing this in my marriage. By thinking that my way was the right way, I was constantly making my husband feel like he wasn’t enough. And, while the words, “You’re not enough” NEVER came out of my mouth and I truly thought I was communicating well and just trying to make him better,  it left him feeling unhappy, unsure of himself, and disrespected. 

It makes me emotional just thinking about how I made the man that I love more than anything, and who  I promised to love no matter what, feel any of those things. 

Now, what about you?

What are you currently experiencing in dating and in your relationships? And what do you WANT to experience?

If through reading, you’ve realized that maybe you’re coming more from expectations, it’s okay! You just need to look at that and ask yourself what’s the fear underneath it all that is stopping you from having the experience you want in relationships.

Because once you get to the bottom of the fear, you can start to build up from there. 

During our Love Chat with the Love Twins this week, one of our past clients said this :

“Please listen to the Love Twins! Once I got rid of the superficial requirements for a man…like height, hair and even education!! I concentrated on how do i feel… and I found a man who treats me like a Queen. Thank you Gladys and Michelle your HeartWork… it works!”

We want you to experience the relationship of your dreams. To wake up every morning next to the person you love and who loves you in return.

Don’t let your expectations keep you from having that. Because the person you end up with might surprise you and that surprise will be the best gift you give yourself, IF you allow it to be!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Do You Feel Confident or Desperate?

Do You Feel Confident or Desperate?

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you know anyone– maybe a girlfriend – who seems desperate when it comes to dating? 

Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could just feel the desperation coming off of them? (Yes, men can put of these vibes, too!) 

Maybe you’re the one that feels like you get weird when you’re interested in someone, and maybe you feel like, no matter how hard you try, all you ever do is push men away? 

Think about this for a minute… Are you operating out of Desperation or Desire

The feeling of desperation comes from FEAR.

You feel like it’s not going to happen for you, or that it’s going to be hard.

You worry about what to say, what not to say, why he’s not texting, if you should text first.

The truth is that you’re in a scarcity mindset, which has you think that every guy HAS to be the one, so you MUST make it work. 

Sound familiar? 

When you’re operating out of desire you feel FREE.

You’re aligned with what turns your heart on and you know you can be yourself and be loved for just that.

You’re clear about what you want and your behavior, words, and being all align with creating that. 

Operating out of desire is how you manifest what you want. It is the only way that works.

When you stop operating out of fear and desperation, everything in life changes. Everything

The thing is, you might not even realize that FEAR is what is driving you.

You may think that because you’ve made your checklist for your perfect man that you know what you want and that desire is driving you, but listen up, because this may surprise you.

And, by the way, desperation isn’t a single’s-only phenomenon.  Women in relationships act out of desperation, too!

Acting out of desperation looks like checking his things, dropping hints, being controlling or asking leading questions to manipulate your guy or get him to say or do something you want.

In dating, it might look like pursuing a man in dating – calling him, asking him on dates, suggesting you meet up, “coincidentally” showing up at a place he might be in hopes of running into him – all of this is pursuing. 

Desperation can even look like sleeping with a man too soon, getting into a relationship before you know his character and his values or compromising your own values in order to get with him. 

In a relationship, it can look like having to approve his every decision, trying to guilt him into doing things, and even trying to get him to talk when he prefers to go into his man cave.

When you’re coming from this place, you are in a state of scarcity. You’re  afraid you’re not going to get what you want, so you WORK HARD to make sure that you do. 

Desperation has a VERY STRONG energy associated with it, and  men can feel it a mile away!

So how do you shift into the easy, breezy, flowy, energy that is so attractive to be around?

  1. Recognize when you’re in fear. As humans, we’re always going to feel fear. Power comes from recognizing that fears are only thoughts and that it’s the fears that are causing you to do the things you don’t want to do. 
  2. Be CRYSTAL-CLEAR about what you want. When you know what you want, you can see right away when something (or someone) doesn’t align with that. Act out of intention and make adjustments to your behavior, communication, boundaries, etc., so that everything is in alignment with what you want to create. 
    BONUS Tip: It is not enough to desire to be “in a relationship.” Being crystal-clear means asking questions like: What type of relationship do you want? What do you want to experience inside that relationship? How do you want to feel? What types of things do you want to do together? The clearer you are, the more powerful the intention is. 
  3. Recognize where you are not aligned, and shift. What are you doing that’s not aligned with that you want? What are the ways of you being that you get to create inside yourself in order to be aligned with your desires? Do you want to be able to be yourself and not feel judged inside of a relationship? Then BE yourself and don’t judge others. BE the love you want to see!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

Do You Feel Confident or Desperate?

Do You Feel Confident or Desperate?

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you know anyone– maybe a girlfriend – who seems desperate when it comes to dating? 

Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could just feel the desperation coming off of them? (Yes, men can put of these vibes, too!) 

Maybe you’re the one that feels like you get weird when you’re interested in someone, and maybe you feel like, no matter how hard you try, all you ever do is push men away? 

Think about this for a minute… Are you operating out of Desperation or Desire

The feeling of desperation comes from FEAR.

You feel like it’s not going to happen for you, or that it’s going to be hard.

You worry about what to say, what not to say, why he’s not texting, if you should text first.

The truth is that you’re in a scarcity mindset, which has you think that every guy HAS to be the one, so you MUST make it work. 

Sound familiar? 

When you’re operating out of desire you feel FREE.

You’re aligned with what turns your heart on and you know you can be yourself and be loved for just that.

You’re clear about what you want and your behavior, words, and being all align with creating that. 

Operating out of desire is how you manifest what you want. It is the only way that works.

When you stop operating out of fear and desperation, everything in life changes. Everything

The thing is, you might not even realize that FEAR is what is driving you.

You may think that because you’ve made your checklist for your perfect man that you know what you want and that desire is driving you, but listen up, because this may surprise you.

And, by the way, desperation isn’t a single’s-only phenomenon.  Women in relationships act out of desperation, too!

Acting out of desperation looks like checking his things, dropping hints, being controlling or asking leading questions to manipulate your guy or get him to say or do something you want.

In dating, it might look like pursuing a man in dating – calling him, asking him on dates, suggesting you meet up, “coincidentally” showing up at a place he might be in hopes of running into him – all of this is pursuing. 

Desperation can even look like sleeping with a man too soon, getting into a relationship before you know his character and his values or compromising your own values in order to get with him. 

In a relationship, it can look like having to approve his every decision, trying to guilt him into doing things, and even trying to get him to talk when he prefers to go into his man cave.

When you’re coming from this place, you are in a state of scarcity. You’re  afraid you’re not going to get what you want, so you WORK HARD to make sure that you do. 

Desperation has a VERY STRONG energy associated with it, and  men can feel it a mile away!

So how do you shift into the easy, breezy, flowy, energy that is so attractive to be around?

  1. Recognize when you’re in fear. As humans, we’re always going to feel fear. Power comes from recognizing that fears are only thoughts and that it’s the fears that are causing you to do the things you don’t want to do. 
  2. Be CRYSTAL-CLEAR about what you want. When you know what you want, you can see right away when something (or someone) doesn’t align with that. Act out of intention and make adjustments to your behavior, communication, boundaries, etc., so that everything is in alignment with what you want to create. 
    BONUS Tip: It is not enough to desire to be “in a relationship.” Being crystal-clear means asking questions like: What type of relationship do you want? What do you want to experience inside that relationship? How do you want to feel? What types of things do you want to do together? The clearer you are, the more powerful the intention is. 
  3. Recognize where you are not aligned, and shift. What are you doing that’s not aligned with that you want? What are the ways of you being that you get to create inside yourself in order to be aligned with your desires? Do you want to be able to be yourself and not feel judged inside of a relationship? Then BE yourself and don’t judge others. BE the love you want to see!

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

If You Believe it, You WILL receive the Love You Want

If You Believe it, You WILL receive the Love You Want

by Gladys Diaz 

What is it that’s running the show in your head?

Are you hearing, listening to and believing the annoying “elevator noise” that plays in the background 95% of the time? That noise that makes you question if you can really have the love you desire? 

OR do you have a deep and knowing belief that you CAN and WILL have that love? 

The first step in creating the relationship of your dreams – that deep, connected, epic friendship, partnership and companionship that you desire and deserve – is to BELIEVE you can have it! 

We have a client and friend who is getting married tomorrow! We’re so excited for her, because we’vebeen along for the journey of her learning to believe she could have the relationship of her dreams. 

When we met her last year in a leadership course we were taking together, she did not believe. She was carrying around so much pain from the past. There were so many limiting beliefs she had about men always leaving her, that men couldn’t be trusted, that she’d never find the relationship she craved. At the core of it all, she believed she wasn’t lovable. 

To look at her, you would not guess that was the case, but she truly believed that.

So what was she creating?

Men leaving her.

Men ghosting her after one date.

Men disappointing her everywhere she turned.

She had these limiting beliefs and she kept creating the situations that would make her right about them. And she was miserable. 

But then things started to shift. She started to do the HeartWork that would allow her to shift those limiting beliefs, to let go of all of that pain from past choices and experiences, and allow herself to experience the love she was longing for. 

She set a goal to be in a committed relationship by a certain date. She needed to be in that relationship by that date in order to graduate from the program we were in. As the date drew closer and closer, there were so many people (not us!) urging her to change her goal – to make it more “realistic” –  so that she could graduate from the program. 

But she didn’t want to.

She wasn’t being stubborn. She was being committed. The inner work she had done had shifted her into the place of REALLY BELIEVING she could have the relationship she desired. Why would she change her goal when she knew she would eventually have it? 

She didn’t graduate from the program at that time. Her desire to have the relationship of her dreams was greater.

But… she’s graduated since! 

As she continued to do the work to shift old belief and behavior patterns, she started experiencing something completely different in dating. She started enjoying it! She started meeting incredible men who were doing great things with their lives. She started trusting herself to make good decisions. And not too long after that, she he found her! 

And he was so ready to be in a relationship with her that moved his entire life to be close to her.

He proposed.

And tomorrow they’re getting married!!! 

All because she did the HeartWork and finally started to believe she could create and have the love she wanted. 

What do you want?

What do you believe?

What are you doing about it? 

You can create vision board, recite affirmations, and think positive all day long, but if you are affirming over a limiting belief that hasn’t been transformed yet, it just won’t work

When you don’t truly believe – down to the subconscious level – that you can have what you want, that’s when you engage in  self-sabotaging behaviors.

Your subconscious kicks in, and those automatic patterns that stem from your beliefs start running the show.

But guess what!?! You don’t have to do keep trying to figure this out on your own anymore. And, if you think you do, what is under the belief that makes you believing that you do? 

Love it a birthright. It’s not something you have to deserve or earn. It’s already waiting for you . 

When you believe it. 

That’s the main thing that surprised  our friend when she finally found the love of her dreams. She didn’t have to try. She didn’t have to prove anything to him. He just loved her. He loved her just for who she was. 

In order to create the relationship you desire (or anything in your life for that matter!), you have to first see it, feel it, believe it, and then you will receive it. 

Can you see it? Can you envision what it is that you want? 

Can you feel it? Are you intimate with what it feels like to be in the relationship of your dreams? 

Do you believe it? Have you transformed whatever doubt or limiting belief it is that’s getting in the way?

And are you ready to receive it? 

If  you’re readyand you know there is something getting in the way but you just can’t figure out what is, Book a Love Breakthrough Session here.

Your breakthrough can happen so fast! Then you can be on your way to creating the loving relationship your heart desires. 

You don’t have to do this alone. You CAN have the love you deserve. 
Let’s make it happen…together!

 

Are You Ready To Trust?

Are You Ready To Trust?

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like your intuition is broken? 

Do you feel like you don’t know what’s best, or how to make the right decisions? 

Do you feel like you can’t trust men? Your friends? Yourself?

That last one’s important, because… if you can’t trust yourself, how are you ever going to be able to trust anyone else? 

The other day I was talking to a woman, and, as we were talking, the issue of trust just kept coming up. Finally, I asked, “How many times have you experienced someone cheating on you?” Her answer shocked me for someone for her age. It was over 5 times! As we continued talking, we discovered that the issue of infidelity was something that had been in her family for years. – Of course she has a hard time trusting men!

As women, our biggest need is to feel safe. How can we feel safe with others when we feel we can’t trust the person we’re with? 

I was there, too. Because of the alcohol abuse, abandonment, and pretending that I engaged in during in my childhood to hide what was going on in our home from everyone around me, I had trouble trusting people. My thought was, “If I can’t trust my own mother, how am I ever going to trust anyone else, or even myself

Because of that limiting belief, I wasn’t making the best decisions about who I was allowing into my life, and I kept attracting the wrong guys. I was dating terrible men – mean men who didn’t love, honor, or respect me. 

When I started to do my HeartWork, I forgave my mom, my ex-boyfriends, and myself for the choices we had all made. Not long after that, I met Ric. He was so authentic! His honesty was something I found super-attractive. I took my time getting to know him, saw that I could trust myself to choose a good man, and the rest is history! How grateful I am that I learned how to trust??? Very!

Here’s the thing… if you’re feeling like you don’t trust others – especially men – then y consider that you don’t trust yourself.

So…How do you shift that? 

Here’s the formula that Michelle and I use with our clients to help them know whether it’s their intuition that’s guiding them or if it’s their fears, limiting beliefs, and superstitions doing the talking

It’s simple. 

If it’s your intuition, then there is evidence of it around you. 

If it’s your fears, limiting beliefs, and superstitions then you’re making up the evidence.

What if you can’t tell the difference?

Give yourself some space. Detach from the situation a little bit so that you can see what’s actually happening and what’s not happening.

Take a look and see if maybe you’re making something up that’s not actually happening in reality?

Is a memory being triggered?

Are you choosing to ignore something that is happening?

Are you crossing and not honoring your own boundaries for someone else? 

When you take a step back and look at it with new eyes, I promise you you’ll be able to hear what your intuition is telling you!

And then you get to trust it and yourself to make the choice that’s right for you! 

If you’re having a lot of trouble trusting others and don’t know where to start, start by forgiving yourself for the choices you’ve made in the past and give yourself permission to move on! Because the time is now. 

There are 88 days left in 2019.

Eighty-eight! 

Are you living the Love Resolution you made at the beginning of the year?

Are you where you want to be on December 31st, or is there a gap? 

If you’re not there yet, the good news is that THERE ARE STILL 88 days to create a real shift!

We have a client who just got a promise ring from her man, and another that is getting married next week! There is still time for YOU to create the love of your dreams in 2019. 

If you’re not sure where to start, click here to schedule a complimentary call with us about The Ready to Love Again Program, a 12-month coaching program for single women who want to attract the right man and create the relationship of their dreams (enrollment closes October 8th, so don’t wait!):

Trust yourself and book a Love Breakthrough Session here! 

Just a quick note: the only way to reserve a spot in the program is to chat with us, so that together, we can determine whether it’s a good fit for you, right now.

You get to create that love for yourself and what better time than right now?

Lots of love, 

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

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