by Gladys Diaz

I admire my husband for thousands of reasons, but one of them is his level of commitment.  When he commits to doing something – whether it has to do with work, a project, or working out– he follows through until he’s done.  Even when he doesn’t  feel like it.  It’s what has him get the results that he gets at work, life, and with his health.

Many times, what has relationships not work is that we tend to let ourselves be guided by our feelings and emotions.  Now, I know that love has a lot to do with feelings and emotions, but if just feelings were enough to make relationships work, there would be no breakups and no divorces.  Having a relationship that really works and stands the test of time requires something else: a high level of commitment – even when you don’t feel like it.

See, you may not feel like responding in a respectful manner when your husband or boyfriend snaps at you.  However, if you strike back with sarcasm or a venomous response, you can guarantee that the conversation is not going anywhere, except south. On the other hand, if you choose to respond respectfully, or not at all (to avoid saying that nasty thing that is sitting on the tip of your tongue, just dying to pop out of your mouth), then there’s a good chance you’ll nip that potential argument in the bud so that you can have a conversation later that actually leads to a resolution.

You may not feel like saying “Thank you,” when he does something nice for you, especially if you’re upset with him, or if you think it’s something he should have done, anyway.  If you choose not to say “Thank you,” you forfeit an opportunity to point out something to him that you’d like to see happen more often.  However, if you do express your thanks, you send him the message that, even though you’re upset or it was something small or that he’d already said he’d do, you care enough about him to notice when he’s done something you like and let him know you appreciate it.

You also may not feel like saying, “I’m sorry” after an argument.  Maybe you’re not sorry for thinking and feeling the way you do. That’s okay.  You don’t have to apologize for having your own thoughts and feelings. However, consider that apologizing for how you said what you said to him sends the message that respect him and value the intimacy in your relationship more than you do being “right.”

Having a happy, fulfilling relationship takes work. It takes the willingness to go beyond our feelings and stand inside of a commitment to have the kind of relationship we really desire: a relationship that is built on respect, gratitude, appreciation, and love, and nothing less!

Questions?  Comments?  Let us know below!  We love hearing from you!