by Gladys Diaz

How do you stay patient when you feel you are ready for love?  I understand the importance of being unattached so that you can let a new love in, but I worry I will give off a desperate air when I go on dates or meet someone new because I feel ready for a relationship.

Let’s be honest, the reason most people date is because they want to be in a relationship.  Sure, some people just don’t want to be alone, or they want to have fun, but the majority of people are dating in hopes of meeting the person who’s right for them.

So, how do you stay patient when you feel you are ready for love?

• Stay in the present moment.

When we feel we’re ready for love, it’s easy to allow ourselves to fast-forward into the future and imagine what it would be like if the guy sitting across from us is the one we’ll spend our lives with, especially if we like him!  It’s easy to begin picturing what it would be like to be kissed by him, to travel with him, and to stand next to him on an altar.

 While it’s great to hope and dream, when we’re not here, in the present, we can miss signs that perhaps this isn’t the best person for us. We also miss out on what’s happening here and now, so we don’t get to enjoy it. Next time you feel yourself wandering into the future that’s in your mind, bring yourself to the present by reminding yourself, “I’m sipping some great wine,” “We’re listening to excellent music,” “I’m having a great time.”  Bring yourself back to the present and focus how you are feeling while on the date.

• Allow him to set the pace.

Too often, women will try to jump the gun or get the ball rolling by taking control of the budding relationship.  They want to know where this is headed and whether or not they’re “wasting” their time.  Often, this leads to being the pursuer, rather than the receiver in the relationship, which also puts the women in the undesirable role of risking rejection when she asks him out on a date or begins to badger and pressure him into expressing his feelings about her.

This robs a woman of the opportunity to see whether or not he wants to be with her.  In short, she’ll always wonder whether he just agreed or disagreed with her, rather knowing that he chose to be with her because he wanted to, not because he felt pressured.

• Check in with yourself often. 

It’s tempting while on a date to wonder whether or not he likes you, whether he’s going to ask you out on another date, and whether he’s having a good time getting to know you.  However, rather than focusing all of your energy on him, bring your attention back to yourself.  Do you like him? Do you want to go out with him again? How do you feel?  Are you having fun?  By focusing on yourself, you’ll avoid driving yourself crazy wondering about what’s going on over there with him!

If you stay present, let go of trying to control the pace of the relationship, and keep checking in with yourself to see how you are feeling, you won’t have to worry about giving off “a desperate air.” Instead, the energy you’ll be giving off is that of being confident, at peace, and open to the possibility of  beomg pleasantly surprised!

Questions? Comments?  Let us know below!  We love hearing from you!

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