by Gladys Diaz

Yesterday was Halloween, which is probably one of the more fun holidays, because, for one day, you actually have permission to pretend to be someone other than who you really are!

While dressing up and pretending to be someone you’re not can make Halloween fun, it’s not such a great thing when it comes to dating and relationships.  In fact, pretending can be exhausting, and it doesn’t give you or the other person the opportunity to discover whether he’d choose to be with you if you were actually being yourself.

If you want him to fall in love with you, be authentic.

If your online profile or the way you portray yourself to others – especially men – is not an authentic reflection of who you really are, it’s very unlikely that you’re going to attract the type of person who is going to want to create the type of relationship you really desire.

If, while on a date, you’re focusing on what you should say or do to “get him” to like you, instead of listening, responding, and letting him get to know a little bit about the real you, then it’s possible that he may get the feeling that you are holding back or that you don’t want to be there with him.

And, if you’re not being authentic about wanting to be in a committed relationship that leads to marriage; or you’re pretending to be okay with sleeping with him before there’s a real commitment or with living together before you’re engaged or married – or you are in any way, shape or form being untrue to yourself out of the fear that he won’t want to be with you if you share how you really feel, then on how solid a foundation are you building your relationship? And…

For how much longer are you willing to pretend to be someone you’re not?

Not only is pretending inauthentic and exhausting, but it’s likely that you’ll eventually begin to feel resentment.  And that resentment will probably be displaced, where you’ll begin to feel resentment toward him for not accepting you the way you are, while what’s really happening is that you’re upset with yourself for not being confident enough to trust that the man who you’re choosing to be with will choose to want to be with and love you just the way you are.

The truth is that he can’t fall in love with you if you are not there.

So, rather than pretending to be someone you’re not or hiding how you feel and what is true for you, trust in the beauty of who you really are and know that Mr. Right-for-You is going to find you –with all the good, the bad, and the not-so-perfect parts– to be simply irresistible!

Questions?  Comments?  Let us know below! We love hearing from you!

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